Two Moons of Sera (29 page)

Forested darkness surrounded us, but I could see clearly
enough to find my way to where Tor rested with Elgon. Part of me believed, I’d
be able to find him even blindfolded, no matter how distant we were from each
other. The ache tying me to him was too strong to resist. Was that love? Maybe
it was pain. I wasn’t sure there was a difference anymore.

Tor sat unmoving, slumped against a tree with hunched
shoulders. I stood above him, unable to bring myself down to his level. My hand
ached to reach out, to run along the smooth scalp where his beautiful dark hair
had been, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I couldn’t. I wanted to fall
into his arms, pull him to me and know he was real and safe and
here
,
but my heart had shattered a thousand times already, and I couldn’t pretend his
being here was going to put those pieces all together again.

“Are you hurt?” his gravelly voice drifted through the
darkness, wrapping around my already tight chest.

“I’m fine. How is your arm?”

He inspected the tattoos and shrugged.

Silence slipped between us, widening the uncrossable dam of
my heartbreak and anger until I soared a million miles away and looked down on
us—so close and yet unable to come together. The ruby moon tucked me against
her side, offering understanding. In the distance, muffled gunshots littered
the air, and fire and pain filled the sky with blackness so thick it threatened
to blot out the stars.

Tor pulled his legs to his chest and rested his cheek on his
knees. “Where have you been?”

“Where have I been?” Shock pulled me out of my apathy,
igniting the anger hibernating under the surface. It was all I could do to keep
my voice quiet as I seethed. “What the
jikmae
? Where have
I
been?
I’ve been an
amedu
prisoner in Keene’s hut, trying to figure out some
way to get Lace, Lock, and Elle out of here! I’ve been scared out of my mind
over where you’d gone and what you were doing and whether you even remembered
me. That’s where I’ve
jikmanae
been!”

Tor’s eyes widened as he looked up at me, my quiet, deadly
voice trembling, but before I could get anything more out his eyes sparked and
he smiled. “You’ve been here this whole time? Looking for me?”

“Don’t smile at me. I’m so... I’m so furious I could throw
you off that cliff myself! Where did you go?”

He pulled himself up with a groan, his old scars and fresh
tattoos towering over me. Without a word, he stepped forward, crossing the
distance I’d kept between us, knocked down my defenses, and pulled me into his
arms. I wouldn’t melt. Everything wasn’t all right. As perfect as his warm
embrace felt, as easy and simple as it would be to just fall into him, I
struggled, pulled back, and wriggled away from his hold.

“I’m not letting you go, little Fish.” His playful chuckle
turned my anger into searing fury.

“Don’t call me that!” I pushed against his chest to put some
distance between us so I could think straight, but he held on tighter.

“I’m not letting you go.” Tor’s voice caught. “I’m never
letting you go. Sera, I’m so sorry. So, so sorry. I had no idea. I promise: I
will never leave you.”

I stilled, unable to fight the pleading in his voice but
unwilling to submit. “What happened?”

“I don’t know. It was... it was like a dream. Like it
happened to someone else.” He breathed into my hair before resting his cheek on
the top of my head. “I remember chasing you and Lace through the woods. You
were laughing, moving so beautifully through the trees while she plodded behind
after you, and then there was a sound. It was like that melodisk you played but
so much stronger, like something physically pulled me toward it, and then it
was so warm, and I felt like I was melting.”

“You
left
.” The sob in my throat stopped me from
saying more. I refused to cry. I’d cried too much. “You left me.”

“I—I didn’t know. I don’t know if you can believe me, but I
didn’t realize—”

“It doesn’t matter.” My sigh wasn’t one of acceptance or
even forgiveness. It was the sound of resignation. No matter what he claimed,
he’d
left
. I’d seen the recognition in his eyes before he stepped
forward and disappeared into the fire.

“It was like nothing I’d ever imagined.” He pulled away and
set his hands on my shoulders. The feeling of his large hands made me want to
crawl into his arms and believe his words, but it was late, and the ruby moon
had already cried all the tears she had for me.

Tor bent down so his eyes locked onto mine. “It was like
dancing. Every movement you make Within ripples through your whole body, and
when someone else moves, you can feel it. You hear their thoughts and dream
what others see only in their imaginations. It’s like floating, but instead of
water, you’re in this timeless sleep and nothing matters.”

“Not even me.”

Tor shook his head. “Sera, as soon as I saw you, I knew you.
Back there, when you came to me, everything snapped back, and I knew who I was
again. I don’t want to lose that, or you, ever again. I don’t want to live in a
dream.”

He brought his face to mine, and I could taste the tears in
his eyes, but I turned away. “I have to go.”

“Wait.”

Pulling back, I watched a tear fall from his eye, spiral
down his chiseled face, and hit the ground. Salt of the earth. I shook my head
and walked away to join Keene, Sev, and the children.

Tor sat beneath his tree while the distraught A’aihea
children lay in a pile between Sev and me. Neither she nor Keene said nothing,
but I knew they’d seen, and probably heard, the whole exchange between Tor and
I. It didn’t matter, though. What was the point of secrets? I’d been a secret
my whole life, and it hadn’t protected me from the war, from the cruelty of
others, from the pain of love. No, I was done with secrets.

The light brush of footsteps brought us to attention. Tor
rushed to our side, standing right in front of me, sparks alive along his
flesh, and Keene took a similar defensive stance. Sev whispered to them in A’aihea,
and Tor nodded without looking back. In my mind’s eye I reached out, searching
for the source of the sound. After the massacre at A’ailia and Ash’s squad catching
us off guard, I didn’t think I could take another attack. At that moment I was
ready to just surrender and let the Erdlanders cage me in a lab somewhere,
strap me to an examination table, and dissect me. I was so tired of running.

I counted one, two, three pairs of footsteps. Opening my
eyes, I saw that Sev had moved next to Keene, fire burning in her clenched
fists. Elgon stood at Tor’s side, hackles raised.

“Wait!” I yelled, not caring who heard.

From the forest shadows, Elle came into view, an Erdlander
rifle clutched cautiously in both hands. Lock appeared next, carrying a weak
and furious Lace across his arms. Lock set her down so she could stand, he but
kept a hand on her back for support.

“I
told
you I could walk,” she hissed.

Even in the dark I could see Lock’s eyes were wide as he
took in Tor’s naked form. “Tor, is that you?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, thank goodness we found you!” Lock said, stopping to
catch his breath. “We were starting to think we’d have to fend for ourselves.”

Despite refusing Lock’s help, Lace struggled to remain
stand, so he helped her lean against a tree for balance. I rushed up, desperate
to see if she was all right, forgetting about Tor and the questions the others
were sure to have for him.

Keene followed me and placed a hand on my arm. “Sev did
this?” His voice was a whisper, but I could feel the chill of his concern as he
examined Lace. He shook his head. “She will heal, but it will scar, badly.”

“Sera...,” Lace said, “where have you been?” Instead of the
characteristic anger, fear clung to her words, weighing them down. “I
thought... I thought you were dead.”

A sob broke free as she rushed toward me, nearly falling
into my arms. Her body shook. Fatigue, fear, and pain all tore through her lips
as tears fell against my shoulder.

“You’re okay. You’re okay.” She repeated the words again and
again.

“I’m fine. Keene and Sev saved us; they made sure you weren’t
hurt worse. How are you?”

Hair draped her face, hiding her from me. I pulled back and
reached to move it away, but her head drooped lower. “It doesn’t matter,” she
said. “We’re all alive.”

“Did they hurt you? I mean, more than....” My words trailed
off, and I couldn’t bear to think of the pain she’d endured from the burn.

“No, they were nicer than Erdlanders would’ve been, if things
were the other way around. The place was clean enough and we had food. They
even gave me medicine to put on my face and arms.” She gestured to her burns
but didn’t tilt up so I could see.

Instead of forcing the subject, I nodded. If Lace needed
anything, it was to have her dignity left intact; there would be time later to
help her heal. I took her hand and walked to where Tor, Keene, Elle, Lock, and
Lace stood. Sev and the children remained under the dark cover of the trees.

“What do you mean we have to go out to the cliff? Why can’t
we go back through the forest?” Elle demanded of Keene, her calm demeanor
strained under the circumstances.

“Erdlander that way, every way. We go through the mountain.”

“Tor, do you know what he’s trying to say?” she asked the
subdued version of the ferocious man I’d fallen in love with.

He looked down at her, then at Keene, and spoke quickly in A’aihea.
I watched as they talked back and forth with breathy ease. When had Tor become
fluent? Probably the same way he’d learned Erdlander from me. His time Within
must have taught him more about where he came from than I could imagine.

Watching them all interact, it became obvious Tor had never
been an Erdlander. Tor and Keene shared the same strong builds and
self-confident stance. In a way, Keene looked like a younger, paler version of
Tor.

They stopped speaking, and Tor ran a hand over his head,
scratching at his scalp. Did he miss his long hair as much as I did?

“Keene says there’s a cave past the cliff wall,” he told us.
“A narrow ledge leads around the mountain. If we can get over there and onto
the ledge, no one will be able to see us. We just have to make it across.” He
pointed back to where the trees thinned and an open patch of trampled weeds
separated us from freedom. “Once we’re inside, he says there’s a whole
underground network of caves to get lost in. We can disappear there until all
this is over.”

Lace finally spoke up, her fiery passion dimmed. “Where will
we go then?”

“Beyond the mountain, to the other side,” Keene offered.

“There’s nothing over there.” Her defeat was so complete, I
could hear it in her voice, feel it in the loose grasp of her hand. Would the
Lace I’d come to care about and count on ever recover from this? Only time
would tell.

“You do
know
nothing is there?” Keene countered. “Something
may be. Here, I see Earth and Fish and Fire—Erdlander, Sualwet, and A’aihea
together all. Never did think could be. Over there—maybe there is more. Maybe
safe.”

We all stood in silence for a moment. A child began to cry
behind us.

If my choices were limited to death by fire, by Erdlander
weapons, or by falling off a cliff, I was going to make a run for that cave.

“I’ve been to the cave Keene is talking about,” I said. “We
can make it.”

Tor looked at me, his eyes hidden in the forest shadows, his
gaze as alive as the day I’d first met him, when we’d both been standing on
another cliff so far from here. “Sera, can you sense any Erdlanders near?”

With a nod I closed my eyes and dropped Lace’s hand. Keene
and Sev exchanged a strange look.

“What’s she doing?” Lock wondered.

“Shut up, Lock,” Lace sneered. She was still in there.

My mind’s eye passed over Lace’s cool figure. Her face was
marred with pulsating heat, her skin and nerves still raw. Elgon sat calmly at
her side, protecting the weakest of us. My senses wandered through the trees,
out into the darkness beyond.

Dirt, ash, and fear all reverberated through the air,
distorting my inner vision, making it difficult to navigate the chaos, but I
pushed farther into the murky dark until I found the cliff wall, solid and
strong. Its structure grounded me, just like Tor’s presence once had.

I stood in the forest with my mind anchored at the wall. The
distance wasn’t far and nothing stood between. Using the two points as
references, I pushed out my awareness to scan the field for movement or
solidity, but all I found was the floating remains of a village destroyed.

I opened my eyes to find myself alone with Tor. He placed
his hands on my upper arms and gathered me close, pulling me tight against his
chest.

This time, I didn’t fight. I couldn’t. At that moment, the
memories of all we have been through flooded back to me. He’d been there
through everything we had endured to reach this point. He had learned so much
about himself Within, and the tightness of his embrace told me that his time in
the Fire showed him he needed me more than anything else in this broken world.
In the end, he had chosen me and our life together.

And I forgave him—for myself, for our future.

When he pulled back, he leaned down to look at me. “I’m so
glad you’re safe.”

“Not really. I mean, we
are
running for our lives in
the middle of a war.”

“Sera,” he chastised, a smile glimmering in his eye.

“I’m glad you’re safe, too.”

“So... did your freaky brain scan show anything?” Lace
called out.

“She’s certainly feeling better,” I huffed.

“No,” Tor said. “She’s not as tough as she’d like, but she’ll
be fine.” As usual, he read Lace’s brashness for what it really was—fear.