Two Tears in a Bucket (38 page)

“
Yeah, I’ma do it.”

Turning the corner, Jordan rejoiced at the sight of both her mother’s truck and the car parked in the driveway.

Yes, she’s home
, Jordan thought, checking the mailbox. Since they’d moved back into Simone’s first house three months ago, more and more Simone found herself working from home.

“
See you tomorrow, Jordan,” her friends chanted as they headed home.

“
Okay,” Jordan yelled as she pulled a large brown package from the mailbox.
What’s this?
she questioned, reading the return address.
It’s from my dad,
she said to herself as she hurried up the walkway.

“
Ma!” Jordan screamed, tossing her book bag to the floor. “Ma!” she yelled again, rushing down the hallway to Simone’s office. Jordan read the look on Simone’s face through the glass of the French doors as she talked on the phone.

Oops.
Jordan giggled. “Sorry, Ma,” she mouthed as she paced outside the office, waiting for her mother to get off the phone.

Simone had warned her and Kayla about yelling through the house. “You never know who I’m on the phone talking to,” she’d said a million times.

“
I’m sorry,” Jordan said, bursting through the doors the minute Simone hung up.

“
Jordan, I’ve told you about that a million times.”

“
I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Here,” Jordan said, placing the package on Simone’s desk. “I guess these are some more of my father’s songs, but it feels like something else is in there, too.”

Simone grabbed a pair of scissors from her desk. She cut through the clear tape and pulled the papers out. “Yeah, it’s a few more,” she said, flipping through the papers. She’d already sent the first collection off to the Library of Congress.

Jordan pulled out the cassette tape. “Look, Ma,” she said, “I’ma go get my boom box.”

Hey Gorgeous,

I stumbled across this guy who had a tape recorder, the kind from back in the day. He gave me a tape and let me do my thing. Don’t laugh, but I’m sending you five songs. Four for Jordan, and there’s one I’d love to hear you sing. I recorded all five.

Love, Kevin.

“
One for me?” Simone smiled.

“
What, Ma?” Jordan asked as she plugged her boom box into the wall.

“
Four of these songs are for you, and ones for me.”

“
So he’s singing on the tape?”

“
That’s what he says. What was that piece of paper in your hand?”

“
Oh, yeah,” Jordan said, passing Simone the flyer. “They were passing them around in school. It’s for the Xtreme Teen Talent Competition, and auditions are two weeks away.”

Simone smiled, reading the flyer just as the office phone rang. She glanced at the caller ID box and saw it was Kevin.

“
Answer it, Jordan. It’s your father.”

“
Hi, Daddy, guess what? We just got your songs and this tape. It was perfect timing, too.”

“
Oh, yeah? Perfect timing for what?” he asked, glad to hear his daughter’s voice.

Jordan pressed the speakerphone button and said, “You on speaker, Daddy. Say hi to my mother.”

“
Hey, beautiful. How you doing?”

“
Fine, how are you?”

“
I’m good. So why’s the tape perfect timing?”

“
I got a flyer today in school for the Xtreme Teen Talent Competition. Auditions are in two weeks. I wanna audition, and now I can sing one of your songs.”

“
That is perfect timing. Have y’all listened to the tape yet?”

“
No, not yet. So you’re singing?” Simone asked.

“
If that’s what you wanna call it.” Kevin chuckled. “I just wanted y’all to know how the songs went. Four are for you, Jordan, and one is for you, Simone.”

“
They’re all for Jordan,” Simone said.

“
Why?”

“
Hey, Daddy,” Jordan interrupted. “I’ma let y’all talk while I go listen to the tape. Ma, can you call and schedule the audition? They said our parents have to call.”

“
I’m on it. Maybe we’ll call Uncle Stan and see if he can put these songs to some music.”

“
Hey, and like I said, I want all of us to be a team,” Kevin said. “Y’all hook ’em up however you see fit.”

“
So you’re cool with my brother putting them to music? He’s good. He won’t set you up. I can actually see you partnering up with him and Ed when you get out.”

“
I trust your opinion, but the partner position is filled.”

“
By who?”

“
You. I told you that before. Look how you’re already helping me.”

“
Yeah, but I don’t know anything about the music business.”

“
Then we can learn together. Where’s Jordan?” Kevin asked.

“
I’m right here,” Jordan said, heading to the door with the boom box and her father’s package.

“
What you think about that, baby?”

“
Sounds good to me.”

“
Are y’all coming to see me this weekend? I miss y’all.”

“
Yeah. Sorry about the last few weekends. I had appointments, but I don’t have any this weekend, so we’ll be there.”

“
Uh-oh,” Jordan said. “I can’t. Remember, it’s Shanna’s birthday this weekend, and then next weekend are the auditions. Ma, why don’t you just go?”

“
That’s an excellent idea, Jordan. You come, Simone. That way we can talk in person.”

“
I gotta, umm…” Simone said, looking for a reason to cancel.

“
Stop looking for an excuse. Besides, I’m closer now, so you wouldn’t be driving two hours by yourself. It’s like what, thirty minutes maybe?”

“
Go
’head, Ma,” Jordan added on her way out the door. “Stop being scared.”

“
So what’s up, Simone? What you think? Well, actually, before you answer, I have a surprise for you.”

“
Really, what is it?”

“
Something I wrote just for you.”

“
A song?”

“
I guess it could be, but not just anybody can sing it. Maybe I’ll take lessons and sing it to you.”

“
Outside my window with a guitar?”

“
Naw, I was hoping to serenade you in person. All of these things were running through my mind. I couldn’t even sleep last night. I had to get it on paper. It’s like a letter of promise.”

“
A letter of promise to me? Wow, read it to me,” she said curiously. “I want to hear what you’re promising me.”

“
Okay.” Kevin cleared his throat as he began to recite his letter.

“
I opened my Bible and referred to the first book of Moses called Genesis, verses three and four. ‘And God said, ‘Let there be light.’ And there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good. And God divided the light from the darkness.’ You are my light, the darkness, my past. I love you. So, to you, I promise to love without limits or conditions. I promise to give you the life you so deserve; a queen would be jealous of the way I’m going to cater to your every need. I promise never to cheat on you, not even with a roaming eye. I promise never to lie to you or hide things from you. I promise to hold no secrets, for my darkest you will know. I promise to love you in sickness and in health. I promise to display my affection and love for you to the world. I promise to protect you the best I can; I promise to protect you even when you’re not around. I promise to love you more every day. I promise to help fulfill your dreams and fantasies, both the wild and mild. I promise always to say I love you. I promise you happiness if you ever grow sad, for I will move those clouds and shine for you even if you don’t want me to. If there are earthquakes of any kind, I promise to calm them. I promise to satisfy you in any way possible. I promise to lead you the days you want to follow and follow you the days you want to lead. I promise to be your strength when you’re weak
,
and I promise never to let you go. And if I forgot to promise anything else, I promise that, too.”

“
I love you,” he confessed.

“
Kevin.” Simone was speechless. “That was…I mean, wow. You truly have a gift
and
an imagination if you think you love me. We’re not in 1987 anymore. You don’t know me to love me. You think you do because you’re lonely. Once you get out, you’ll find your real love.”

“
Are you crazy?” Kevin asked. “I’m not gonna lie. I do get lonely as hell. But lonely and desperate are two different things. If I were lonely the way you’re talking, I would’ve married Yolanda, the prison guard. Simone, it’s not the walls, baby. When I came in here, I loved you. I thought it was gone. But when you walked back up in here, you stirred it back up. And underneath all your sexiness and maturity, deep down inside you’re still the same Simone.”

“
But are you the same, Kevin?”

“
Parts of me are.”

“
You’re so nasty.” Simone chuckled.

“
See, that’s you. I wasn’t being nasty,” he said. “My heart is the same, but my thinking is different. Being in here and going through what I’ve gone through made me grow up. I can’t wait to get out. You know, once my music jumps off, I want to open up some type of facility for the youth. Something to keep them off the streets. I really want to get my program started, my music jumping. And before you ask me,” he added. “Yes, I’ve written this all down in my journal. But my ultimate goal is you. I’m going to make you my wife. I wrote that in my journal, too. So, it’s not just a dream.”

“
Suppose I don’t wanna get married again? Remember, I’ve done that.”

“
Like I told you, baby, that was just an experience. No one can love you like I can.”

“
Oh, really?” she asked sarcastically.

“
Simone, will you come see me by yourself?”

“
Kevin, Kevin, Kevin,” she whispered more so to herself.

“
C’mon, baby. You don’t have any appointments, so why not?”

“
A’ight…I guess I can.” She sighed into the phone.

“
Well, I think I better apologize now.”

“
Apologize for what?”

“
Because I’m going to try and kiss you. So, if you don’t want me to, maybe you shouldn’t come.”

Kevin had really surprised Simone. They shared so many things of interest, so many things in common that they’d overlooked when they were teenagers in love. He was gentle with his words, and his touches sent tingles through Simone that she tried to deny. Still, he was a convicted felon and couldn’t offer anything more than his heart. Would that be enough? Simone had had the short end of the stick for years, and she didn’t want to venture into another pitiful relationship. However, even with those thoughts, Simone couldn’t shake him. Kevin’s calls and letters were the highlights of her days. She felt his love and questioned the feelings stirring around inside her. But how could somebody so successful be in love with a reformed bad boy who’d been incarcerated most of his life?

Lying in bed that night, Simone closed her eyes and allowed her thoughts to take her away. Away to Kevin. It had been years since they’d been together, experiencing each other’s fervor. Yet, it wasn’t the fervor to tussle in the sheets that she wanted—just simply to look into his eyes, to see his warm smile. She wanted him to take her hands in his and kiss them the way he did during their visits. If only he could be sharing the warmth of her bed. She’d rub her hands down his entire being to confirm it wasn’t a dream. Not for anything sexual, but just to feel the love that escaped his pores, helplessly jumping into her own. She welcomed his love and allowed it to fill her insides with much-desired warmth. She felt something, too, but wouldn’t dare allow the words to flee her mouth. Closing her eyes, she drifted off to a peaceful sleep and welcomed Kevin into her dreams with open arms.

● ● ●

“
Oh my God, Kevin!” Simone ignored Kevin’s open arms. “What the hell happened to your eye?”

“
It’s nothing,” he smiled, flattered by her concern. “Where’s my kiss at?”

Simone turned her head, dodging his puckered lips. “It is something, Kevin. I thought your fighting days were supposedly over.”

Kevin grabbed her by her arms, but she still refused to look his way. “Simone, if I was fighting, I’d be on lockdown.” He placed his hands on her face to keep her from turning away. “Can I have my kiss?” he whispered, allowing his lips to graze hers.

Pecking him lightly, Simone pulled Kevin’s hands from her face and sat in one of the plastic chairs. She stole a quick glimpse and noticed the bruise was larger than the two Band-Aids he’d tried to cover it with.

“
Simone,” he said as she sat fidgeting with her visitor’s pass. “Baby, I was playing basketball. This guy ran into me with his head, and before I knew it…what?”

Simone crossed her arms and stared off into space, impatiently swinging her crossed leg. She had no patience or tolerance for the old Kevin.

“
You don’t believe me? Simone, it’s not just a black eye. Look at my nose,” he said.

From the corner of her eyes, Simone studied Kevin’s nose and noticed the slight slant. “It’s fractured,” he added. “It happened right after I talked to you yesterday. I couldn’t even sleep last night. That’s how bad it hurt.”