Two Walls and a Roof (47 page)

Then the plane landed. The two ‘tramps’ from Ireland walked up the connecting ramp, and as we came through the security door, there stood JoAnn and John
Elms
. I nearly died of embarrassment at the state of us meeting our hosts. I will never forget her amazing shy smile, and I could feel a gentleness coming off her that felt very familiar to me
.
I knew immediately that this girl was the one I had seen in my vision and she was the one I had been waiting for all my life. With that knowledge I realized immediately that I was in a real fix, secretly hoping that JoAnn felt the same about me, and if so, wha
t was going to happen to us all
in the future. In that moment I put all thoughts of a future aside and decided to try and flow with the situation as best I could
and all I could do was hope for a miracle
.

That same night
,
m
y first impression of John
Elms
was that he seemed
like a very hard working, good-looking man
with bright
,
sparkling
,
blue eyes and a warm
,
friendly manner. I liked him immediately, which made it all the more difficult later for me an
d him
as the inevitable happened, especially when he a
nd JoAnn bitterly arrived in a d
ivorce
courtroom. Etta
on the other hand, having the benefit of a woman’
s intuition, told me much later
that
she knew the moment I saw JoAnn
that night that our time together had ended
. W
hile she resented it,
she said
there was no point in making life miserable for either of us, and subsequently she was as good as he
r word and did not contest our d
ivorce.

We all hugged, or shook hands, and we were made feel so welcome immediately by both of our hosts. That night, virtually straight off the plane, we were taken to a wedding
. T
hen
,
later still
,
we went on to have breakfast in a truck stop. After travelling and visiting for about twenty four hours, I was still full of energy, and I had fallen totally in love with America.

From that moment on, we began a whistle stop tour of beautiful Missouri. We were introduced to JoAnn’s family
;
Jessica
,
Justin
,
Julie and J
ohnnie. We met her parents and s
ister
,
Wanda, and numerous other family and friends.

Our hosts treated us so well
,
I have to say. They took us all over Missouri. I got to go to a place called Six Flags
,
which is a huge theme park outside St Louis. There I was persuaded to ride my first
roller c
oaster. To say that I nearly died is an understatement. When I staggered off
of it
I went into shock, getting pale
,
shivering and fe
eling deathly cold despite the s
ummer heat. I was afraid I would ruin everyone’s night
, so I
asked to be allowed
to
lie down on a bench and try and sleep it of
f
for an hour. I believe I was feeling better after half an hour when once again I felt the motion under me and began to get
queasy
all ov
er again. When I opened my eyes
I discovered that John and Etta had been lifting the bench and swaying it from side to side. They collapsed laughing and I think they were both getting revenge on me for the future ahead.
 
Then on another special day they took us to my most favourite place in all of Missouri, the Lakes of the Ozarks. Here we got to go for a trip on a paddle steamer called
‘
Tom Sawyer
’
and another childhood dream was lived out by me as we sailed across the lakes just like Mark Twain had described on the great Mississippi in my youthful readings.

The longer I was there the happier I felt, and I never wanted our trip to end. In contrast, Etta became more and more unhappy
,
probably picking up on my longing to be in America with JoAnn, and she could not wait to get home. In hindsight
,
while it probably was one of the best times of my life, it was probably one of the worst times for her and I’m sorry for that.

Durin
g a shopping spree in
JoAnn’s town, I ventured into a place selling Indian bows. Within minutes I was
captivated by a most beautiful five-foot hand
made hunting bow. I pulled its string back and could feel the power of this amazing weapon. I became an Indian for a few minutes and just had to have that bow. I was going to buy it
, but JoAnn put me off it
saying it was way too expensive
. H
er vehemence
sur
prised me at the time. Later on she would secretly buy it
and present it to me on the day we were leaving, as a parting gift. I just did not know what to say to her
. F
ull of emotion
,
I decided there and then that on
Christmas day from that day on
I would take it to a mountain and shoot it in memory of her and our time in America
. Every year since then
I have taken my bow to M
oun
t Hillary
just outside Mallow, and sh
ot it on Christmas day just before dinner as promised. It’s a tradition that started with my children
,
and now continues with my JoAnn. We shoot it together
in thanks for
all that we have been given, for
what we mean to each other, and every year I lose an arrow. We laugh and say the year we lose the last arrow is the year I go to America for good. As of last year I’m down to one arrow.

The holiday did finally come to an end
,
and at the airport JoAnn and I agreed at
a minimum to remain friends for
ever, but hope
d
for a lot more when the time was right. So the die was cast, and we
would do our best to hurt least
our children, and those we had once loved in the past.

There is no doubt in my mind that over the next number of years
,
our falling in love did cause great hurt. We severely hurt our partners and our children, especially JoAnn’s younger children, who were not even teenagers. Mine were a little older
,
but completely unprepared for a divorce and a huge upheaval to the crazy lifestyle they knew as home. Obviously
,
hurting all those people was never our intention, but I honestly believe that we were powerless to change what I’m sure was our destiny. Over the coming years
,
in the eyes of the world
,
we began having an affair, but that was actually not true at all.  I hate the term ‘affair’
. I
t alwa
ys smacks of torrid, illicit sex
coupled with secret meetings and a lot of lies. In our case we never had sex, bo
th believing that if we did
, then we would have to immediately leave our partner
s and start a new life together
because we both believed that the act of sex would seal our love
,
and we just could not do it at that time. It was patently impossible anyway, as even though JoAnn could divorce her husba
nd, I could not divorce my wife
because we had no divorce laws in Ireland
.
C
oncern for our children was also a huge factor in any future we might have.

In spite of that
,
we grew closer and closer in mind and spirit
,
and just trusted in the love that was developing between us by then. With no other option, we began subconsciously believing that a miracle would somehow happen and allow us to marry, despite the obvious obstacles before us.  Concluding that part of my life, I know that I am truly sorry for any hurt that I caused, as I’m sure JoAnn is as well.

Then the first of the miracles happened. Ireland passed a Divorce Bill after two goes at it, and secondly
, I found a book for ten e
uros that would show me how to do a DIY
d
ivorce for virtually no cost. This type of divorce
,
which was almost unheard of in Ireland then
,
was conditional on it not being contested, and to Etta’s great credit she agreed not to contest it. I began to study the book and drafted the legal papers all by mys
elf. I studied the law via the i
nternet
,
and finally when I was ready
,
I got a lawyer to check the paperwork. He ch
arged me two hundred and fifty e
uros
,
and event
ually Etta and I ended up in a divorce c
ourtroom in Cork. We had no legal council
,
nor did we need one. The judge gave me a fair grilling because we had no lawyers, but I knew the law stated that we did not need them. I was ordered to the witness box, took the oath, and the grilling began. He questioned me on our settlement and the ages of our children, and pretty soon I got the impression from him that he felt I was either tricking Etta into this divorce
,
or I was coercing her into it. Neither was true of course, but it looked very bad for me for a while until Etta
realize
d the same thing
,
and
from the floor she spoke up. “
Do you mind if I speak your honour
?
” The judge looked down at her and said
,
“Madame
,
I would be very delighted if you would”. Then in great detail she told him that it was a completely amicable arrangement
,
and both of us were happy with it. She explained the financial deal and answered his questions better than I did
,
and he believed her. He said
,
“I have to say that I am very surprised at all of this
. I
f more people could agree like you two, then all our lives would be easier
. Y
e came in married, ye now leave divorced”.  We all went off and had tea to celebrate the end of twenty seven years of marriage, and we parted with no bitterness whatsoever.  The entire cost of the proceed
ings was two hundred and fifty e
uros, compared to our original legal quotation of eighteen thousand. It would be wrong of me not to mention the great help a
nd kindness shown to us by the court staff. T
hey could not have made it any easier than they did.

Etta has since found happiness, and John
Elms
too is happily married. Our children have come to accept that we meant them no harm, and we did our best to hurt them the least of all.

Two real miracles had actually happened. T
he first was d
ivorce legislatio
n had finally passed in Ireland
(
almost an impossibility I would say
)
, and the second one
was that I saw a book for ten e
uros in Waters
t
on
e
s book shop in Cork which called out to me to buy it, and which saved me eighteen thousand
euros
that I did not have.

In two thousand and four
JoAnn and I got married in Jamaica all alone, without family or friends, but that was our choice. It would have been far too expensive to be dragging people across the world
,
and besides that
,
I personally hate large weddings with loads of fuss and stress. The only sadness I felt that amazing day was for JoAnn
,
who had to make the little walk up the isle all alone. She gave herself away to me willingly, and a large black preacher married us in a civil ceremony o
n the edge of the Caribbean Sea
.

When I kissed my bride, to our great surprise, a lot of clapping went off from the many strangers who
,
unknown to us, had been onlookers at this unusual wedding of no guests. Looking back on it today, it
’
s quite likely that our wedding went into the record books as the smallest wedding ever celebrated on that romantic island. The only people at it we
re us and two strange witnesses. I
t
’
s no wonder we had onlookers.

The night before our wedding I awoke from a deep sleep with a strange feeling
.
I felt that we should have a little ceremony that would release us both from our past, and that we should each write a private and personal letter to our previous spouses and then burn it. I don’t know where or why I was given this feeling
,
but it felt so important that we agreed to act on it.