Tyringham Park (50 page)

Manus made an agreement with Lily that Charlotte would never swing or be imprisoned because of Nurse Dixon. Lily, despite her religious beliefs, was prepared to swear in a
court of law that she had pushed Dixon. Manus said no one would believe her because she was so small, and what purpose would it serve taking blame when they could so easily say that Dixon fell
accidentally? As the only two witnesses, they could say what they liked, and who was there to contradict them? If Charlotte insisted on confessing, they would tell that decent Inspector Declan
Doyle that Charlotte, already disturbed by the death of her brother, was in a nervous state revisiting the scene of Victoria’s disappearance after all these years and didn’t realise
what she was saying. Lily could emphasise that even as a little girl Charlotte used to take the blame for acts she didn’t commit, so sensitive was her nature. There could be no case against
her.

“You must go and find her and put her mind at rest straight away. And then bring her back to me so I can comfort her,” said Lily.

Goodbye, Mary Anne. You gave me such joy that I can only repay you by leaving you. Your Aunt Iseult will care for you beautifully until your daddy comes back, then he will
marry Niamh who will be good and kind to you and you won’t even remember that I ever existed, while all the time, unbeknown to you, I will be looking after you and keeping you from
harm.

Goodbye, Lochlann. Thank you for the happiness you gave me at the expense of your own. I feel almost light-hearted at the prospect of setting you free.

Our mother can do without my good wishes. She never liked me. I didn’t blame her for favouring you and Harcourt – she had her reasons which I’ll tell you about when we meet
– but she didn’t have to make it so obvious. She’ll be glad I’ve gone, thinking she’ll be able to get her hands on Mary Anne. I’d like to see her face when she
reads my will.

“Before I start looking for Charlotte or fetching the doctor, I’ll have to check on the stables. Will you be all right staying here and keeping vigil over Nurse
Dixon until I get back, Lily? I shouldn’t be long. I don’t want that new wild colt kicking the door down and trying to cross the river to get home. He could do himself some
damage.”

“How can you even think of a horse at a time like this, Manus?”

Can you hear me, Victoria? You seem to have left me and gone back to the other side. Is that so you can get ready for me? I hope so.

There’s some animal creating a terrible din in the stables. I should go and check but I don’t have the time and I might have lost my touch, anyway, and be of no use.

Can you see me from where you are, Victoria? I’m heading towards the Dark Waterhole. It’s difficult to be sure exactly where I am. I won’t be sure I’m at the Hole
until I step off the ledge. I can’t feel my feet and the water isn’t all that clear. I’m not looking forward to that first inhalation of water. How long before I stop struggling
to breathe? Will I sink to the bottom or rise to the surface straight away or later? Will you have a word with God so that I don’t end up in that other place with Dixon, where I belong?
He’ll listen to the request of an innocent child.

It’s as well Lily and I have a reputation for being truthful, upright citizens, Manus reflected as he made his way towards the stables to check on the colt. Everyone will
believe us when we tell them that the fall was accidental and Charlotte is innocent.

We can’t have poor Edwina faced with another tragedy to add to her sorrows. She’s already had more than any human being should be expected to bear in two lifetimes.

Soon I’ll know exactly what you went through. Keep your eye out for me, Mary Anne. I mean Victoria. How could I make a mistake like that? You look so alike with your
pretty faces and your dark curls that it’s hard not to confuse you at times, though I couldn’t admit that to many people. They would think I wasn’t in my right mind.

Your doll is securely tucked under my arm. I’ll make sure not to drop it.

Could that be Harcourt? It certainly looks like him.

I don’t believe it. What’s he doing on the avenue?

I don’t have time to pray. Harcourt, you’re too early. Go back. You’re supposed to wait for me on the other side. It’s all arranged. The time has come. Breathe
out.

Guide me, Victoria, and when it’s all over have your hand out ready to catch me so that I don’t fly straight past you. I don’t want to end up lost in space, searching for
you for all eternity, with no hope of finding you amongst the multitudes.

Are you ready?