Ultimate Baseball Road Trip (109 page)

The bullpens sit behind the outfield wall down the lines in right and left, bisected by the big yellow foul poles. This means shots that wind up in the relievers’ realm are either home runs, or long strikes.

Kevin:
Looks a little Mickey Mouse to me.

Josh:
At least they’re not parallel to the foul lines like at Wrigley.

The outfield picnic pavilion is an ill-conceived area of the ballpark. The tables are too far from the field to make attractive sitting places, and they protrude over the field on either side of the batter’s eye to tarnish the ballpark’s aesthetic with a cluttered look. The batter’s eye itself is little more than a black wall that rises from the field all the way up to the scoreboard, with a yellow home run line drawn across it midway up that continues across to the picnic protrusions on either side. So all that separates a home run from any other ball hit off the wall in dead-center is a painted yellow line?

Josh:
I’d call that unromantic.

Kevin:
I’d call it un-American.

At the time of its opening, Chase Field was the only ballpark with a dirt track running from the pitcher’s mound to home plate. A short while later, Comerica Park in Detroit opened and mimicked the old-time effect. This feature was common to ballparks of yesteryear, of course, as catchers wore a path on their trips to the mound in an era when grounds crews lacked the sophisticated field management techniques to combat all that wear and tear.

Kevin:
What do you think that adds to the game?

Josh:
Who do I look like, Ty Cobb?

The left-field concourse houses an expansive kiddie land complete with a miniature sandlot field and other facilities designed to let the youngsters burn off some steam.
Needless to say, Kevin demanded that the little guys let him pitch, then proceeded to spin a shutout. The moms in attendance were not impressed.

The food at Chase Field will not rock your world. But this is not one of those parks where you should endeavor to sneak in food from the outside either. A decent meal can be had at Chase if you’re a little bit selective. The team boasts of its concession space totaling nearly a quarter of a mile, and we believe it. The Diamondbacks have done well to make space on the concourses for stands representing local establishments as well as chains like Fatburger, Mrs. Fields, Cold Stone Creamery, Subway and Panda Express.

With five different types of sandwiches made fresh before your eyes, Hungry Hill is the best thing going at Chase. The meatball with marinara and Parmesan is a wonder. The homemade sausage with peppers and onions puts the other ballpark links to shame. Also available are Polish sausage, bratwurst, and Italian beef that made us feel like we were back in Chicago. And to top it off, these delicious sandwiches are reasonably priced.

Pre-wrapping this all-beef wiener detracts from what would otherwise be a respectable house dog. Diamond Dogs are pretty tasty, as Arizonans know, and can be purchased across the state at grocery stores. The dog weighs a quarter-pound. But dogs need to be yanked off the grill before our eyes to really wow us. Sorry, Oscar, it’s a tough market out there in MLB that leaves no room for lukewarm meat and crumbly buns. Better options inside the park include the Arizona Dog, which is actually a foot-long chorizo topped with nacho cheese and tortilla strips, and the freshly-made grilled dogs at the Big Dawgs stands.

The
Fruit Medley
is a refreshing treat. Fresh melon, grapes, and berries form a zesty mix. Meats and cheeses are available to complement your fruit, as are strawberries and cream.

Kevin:
What is this? Wimbledon?

The
Cactus Corn
stands on the first and third levels offer different types of fresh popped corn like Jalapeño, Cajun, Parmesan, and Chili. We were highly impressed.
Tamales
come courtesy of a Rey Gloria’s stand near Section 138, while there are two
margarita
stands on the first level and one on the third.

The several
Big Dawgs
stands offer foot-long all-beef dogs topped with untraditional items like french fries and Cole Slaw.

The stands on the Diamond Level really do go above and beyond to make the Club Level patrons feel special. They include a fresh
steak sandwich stand,
a Tex-Mex
A-Zona Grill,
a
Burger Burger
stand, and an
Extreme Loaded Dog
counter where fans can top their hot dogs with even funkier toppings than at Big Dawgs. Ever want to try mac and cheese or taco meat on a hot dog? Well, then, this is your chance. The Big Kid Dog is topped with mac and cheese and Fritos. And the Taco Dog is loaded with spicy
ground beef, lettuce, pico de gallo, cheese, sour cream and jalapeños.

The most obvious place to steer clear of at Chase Field is Subway. This is a baseball game. You can do better than the same deli sandwich you eat on your lunch break.

While there are some nice beers (Sam Adams, Corona, Fat Tire, Beck’s, Heineken, Foster’s) throughout Chase, the true fan of good hoppy frost will want to head to one of the two Beer Gardens on the Upper Deck. On Friday and Saturday nights don’t be surprised to find a hip, swinging atmosphere at these locations, with a DJ spinning discs and young women downing beers and grooving. Need we say more? Some serious ball fans may shake their heads disapprovingly at a party patio at a baseball game, but Kevin didn’t mind.

From folks wearing strings of purple and turquoise beads, to those shaking Diamondback rattles during rallies, the Arizona fans support their D-Backs enthusiastically if not in record numbers. They may not be the most knowledgeable fans in the circuit, but they understand winning, something their team has done plenty of since entering the league, and they understand how to make noise to spark a rally.

Usually we leave politics out of these chapters, but when a local sheriff hell-bent on making a political statement starts parading illegal immigrants on a chain-gang outside a city’s pro sports stadiums and other public gathering places, well, we’re kind of left with no choice but to mention it. In the wake of Arizona’s controversial 2010 law that gave local law enforcement the right to detain any suspicious looking Latino person unless they could produce papers guaranteeing their citizenship on the spot, Joseph M. Arpaio, the sheriff of Maricopa County, has become a hero of the anti-immigration crusade. And one technique he uses to rally support for his cause is by making an example of his latest batch of criminals by showing them off at pretty much any sports or civic event apt to attract a large crowd of out-of-towners. We won’t wade too deeply into the politics of this, other than to say we felt less than great about visiting Phoenix in 2011. And we understand why many Latino fans are staying away.

At more than one thousand feet above sea level, Chase Field is the second highest ballpark in the Majors. Other than making the nosebleed sections actually give people bloody noses, expect the ball to carry approximately seven feet farther than it would at other parks.

Josh:
Seven feet, that’s about the length of Randy Johnson.

Kevin:
It doesn’t seem so far when you put it that way.

In 2010 the Diamondbacks jumped on the ballpark race bandwagon, introducing their very own Legends Race. Unlike the humorous midgame races that take place in other cities, though, the Phoenix version features caricatures of former Diamondbacks players. After the fifth inning, mascots portraying Johnson, Luis Gonzalez, Matt Williams and Mark Grace take to the field. And only one thing is ever really certain: The Grace mascot will lose the race. According to our sources he’s never won one!

This space-aged ballpark features an old-time pipe organ. Tickling the keyboard since Chase opened has been a fellow named Bobby Freeman, who previously played for the Phoenix Firebirds of the Pacific Coast League.

Named by young Brantley Bell, the son of Jay Bell, the mountain lion mascot of the D-Backs has been patrolling Chase since 2000. Josh wishes the team had chosen a snake as its mascot. Kevin couldn’t care two hoots one way or the other.

Autographs can be sought on the infield side of the D-Backs’ dugout prior to the start of the game. It’s a very organized autograph session that only features a handful of players and begins promptly at 5:20 p.m. for a 7:05 start and runs precisely ten minutes. The JumboTron counts down the time so players don’t have to be the bad guys when they sign their last hat, then turn to leave.