Un-Break my Heart: Book 2 (The Heart Trilogy) (31 page)

Lying back on the bed she smiled and already felt the stirrings of desire within her.

“Hi handsome, you’re looking sexy tonight” she purred.

“Charlie baby, so are you” Mitch replied “I’m missing you so much”

“Me too and it’s only been three days” she replied, trying to hide the sorrow at the distance separating them.

“It feels like a week and my muscles are aching so much, I wish you were here to massage them” he said, flexing his arms as he sat down. Charlie blushed as she remembered massaging Shelley’s thighs in the shower yesterday.

“I wish I was there to do that for you” she sighed, feeling her nipples start to brush against the constriction of her bra.

“Shall we play” Mitch asked, as he whipped his towel off and she gazed at him in awe.

“I think we should” she replied. In return she freed her captive breasts and watched his eyes fill with desire.

After a satisfying half hour of long distance sex they both shrugged on their dressing gowns and settled down for some catch up. Mitchell was almost non-stop practising but had managed to catch some rest on a sun bed on the beach with some of the other dancers. Charlie bit her lip as she wanted to ask what the girls were like and it was as if Mitchell read her mind

“The girl’s are good but not a patch on you, Lucky” he said “That’s why I miss you so much” Charlie filled him in on college with Shelley and also that Julia was staying on Saturday night and they might go out to the club. In her heart she wanted to tell him about the job offer but something held her back.

She saw his eye lids struggling to stay up and said

“I think I’d better let you get some sleep”

“Yeah, I guess so but it’s hard when you’re not curled up next to me” he murmured, before stifling a yawn.

“I’m the same but the sooner we sleep then we’re another day closer to being with each other again” Charlie said, reaching out to touch the screen.

“Night, night Baby” he said, blowing her a kiss.

“Night, night Mitchell, I love you” Charlie replied.

“I love you too” he said, pretending to catch her kiss. Then the screen faded and the line was disconnected.

Removing her dressing gown she snuggled under the duvet and breathed in the spare pillow that she had sprayed with some of his deodorant. Then with his image in her mind she drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 43

I found that my last few days at Love Shack Radio i
n
Herefor
d
seemed to be flying by. On the Thursday evening we all headed to the pub after our respective shifts and grabbed our pints. Holding his aloft Paul piped up

“Here’s to Stephanie, Station Manager and the best DJ I have ever worked with”

“Here, Here” Ian echoed. I smiled round the table and wondered what I would have done without my good friends at the radio. I had worked with them for nearly twelve years and their acceptance of a woman into their circle of male bonding and nights out had been a godsend. It was with a heavy heart but promises to stay in touch that filled the night air as I took a final walk to my car.

Getting home I met the new couple, Simon and Victoria, who would be moving into my house at the start of December. It felt great to know that my tenants were looking forward to the move. I had only been home for half an hour when the doorbell rang. It was my best friend Sarah, bearing wine and a take-away too.

“Thought I’d surprise you as it was your last day on Love Shack Radio today” Sarah said.

“Well, come on in, you’re bearing my favourite sort of gifts” I replied.

Once we had sat down in the lounge with our trays Sarah turned to me.

“So how are things going” she asked.

“Really good, the new building is wonderful and the staff are looking forward to the launch. Plus Jack and Leon are joining the team so I’ll have some friendly faces there” I said.

“I will miss tuning in to listen to you when I’m not at work” Sarah said “Oh how is your creepy boss”

“Well he tried it on a couple of times but at the wine bar on Monday night he met Felicity and is very enamoured of her” I said.

“You don’t mean James’ ex wife” she exclaimed.

“I do indeed; it was a very strange evening. She told James that Mitchell is not his son”

I watched the shock spread over Sarah’s face.

“But how, he does look so much like James” Sarah said.

“Yes, but he has green eyes. James and Felicity have blue. She had a weekend fling with a masseuse” I said.

“So what does Mitchell think” Sarah asked.

“He doesn’t know yet as he’s over in the States at the moment” I finished. Pausing to once again worry about how it would affect both him and possibly Charlotte.

“I guess that means you haven’t had chance to talk about my proposal yet then” Sarah said.

“Afraid not, but I will bring it up on our holiday” I replied “I promise”.

Sarah smiled as we touched our glasses together.

“To the future and whatever it may hold” Sarah said.

The evening was great and when Sarah eventually had to leave I pulled her tightly into my embrace.

“You know you can visit whenever you want, I don’t want this to affect us” I said, emphatically.

“Of course I will. Those shopping centres are calling” she giggled.

I waited and watched her walk to the end of the road and then closed the door.

The next morning I packed my suitcase and some more cardboard boxes of my most important things and loaded the car. I grabbed my phone and tapped in a message.

“Hi James, on my way over now and I’m really excited”

“Me too, see you soon” It felt strange knowing that apart from the furniture move I was saying goodbye to my old life and driving to my future. Pulling out of the driveway I glanced in the rear view mirror and took a final look at Mark’s house. Beside me on the passenger seat was a miniature rose plant as I had one more thing to do before I left Ross.

Parking in the small car park just beyond the cemetery I grabbed the plant and a small trowel and walked down the path. I paused to take a moment and a deep breath as I looked out from the prospect and over the horse shoe bend in the river Wye. How many times had I looked at this iconic view? As a child I had run through here on my way to the see-saw by the tennis courts. Then twenty four years ago I had tried to find solace here at the loss of my first love, and a mere seven years later I had become a widow. Now I was here once more to try to put that ghost to rest so that I could move on.

A dark cloud passed over the sun as I turned away from the view and found the cold granite headstone. Resting my hand on the smooth surface a tiny sliver of weak sunlight broke through the cloud and highlighted the name. Kneeling down on the damp ground it was easy to dig a small hole and place the plant into it. A small bud lingered on its stem, red like a droplet of blood caused by a careless thorn on an unsuspecting finger tip. Mark had always bought me red roses throughout our relationship and I had never had the heart to tell him that I preferred pink or white.

Looking up to the sky a solitary drop of rain fell and hit me on the cheek, followed swiftly by another. Was it Mark’s spirit telling me that this was the wrong move? Was he upset that I was moving away from where he lay? I tried to shake these sombre thoughts from my head as I slowly got up and took a final look at the inscription on the headstone. I wished that I had loved him as much as I loved James, or that he had left me alone all those years ago marking me as damaged goods.

“Bye Mark, I’ll come back when I can” I whispered “Sorry I never loved you the way you should have been; you were a kind, gentle and decent guy. You have a beautiful daughter who never even got the chance to know you”

I turned away as lightening started to spike the sky, lighting up all the graves that surrounded me in the darkest centre of the storm.

Safely inside the warmth of my car I rested my head on the steering wheel and closed my eyes as I regressed. Our first ever meeting in the Hospital, the hankie that he leant me, the kiss at the club. Lightening exploded in the sky and I remembered the white of the hospital room, stark and blinding. Mark’s kindness as he listened to my despair and the wonderful pills that he prescribed to make life seem colourful again. His arms had been comforting like a fresh duvet wrapped around me, bringing me back to normality. Our wedding had been a blur of well wishers, family and friends. The honeymoon was only a short weekend away before he had to be back at work.

Endless evenings sitting alone waiting for his shift to be finished and as always in those quiet moments I had guiltily thought of James, still wished for him on the starry night sky
.
Charlott
e
had arrived and brightened up my world and I had almost thought that I could love Mark and my new family. Then in a way my wish had been answered and the need for a happy mask had been broken away as Mark’s life had slipped from him. Perhaps if the criminal had been found and charged I might have recovered? All these thoughts rushed through my mind and the only way to stop them was to drive. I turned the key and the stereo burst into life.

Slowly I pulled out of the car park, still trying to wipe the rain from my face; it had been joined by a few tears. The radio was on and as I drove slowly past the Market House and then ove
r
Wilto
n
Bridg
e
to get to the dual carriageway. It was Ian’s afternoon show and he was playing Cyndi Lauper singing the classic Roy Orbison track “I drove all night”

             
“I had to escape the city was sticky and cruel

              Maybe I should have called you first but I was dying to get to you”

She was singing about what my heart was telling me to do, escaping from the past to the future that lay in James’ arms.

The roads were kind and after a few moments the rain stopped and was replaced by the sun and a rainbow. By the time I pulled into the driveway I was ready to move on and that meant throwing away the pills. As soon as I stopped the car and got out James had walked the short distance to meet me; enfolding me in his arms straight away. My lips found his easily and I knew that my heart was home, I just had to finish getting my head there too.

Unloading the car of my various bags and boxes we headed inside and left them in the hallway.

“Mum
”
Charlott
e
screamed, as she raced down the stairs and entered the circle of my arms.

“Charlott
e
I’ve missed you” I said, dropping a light kiss on her forehead.

“I’ve missed you too Mum, but college is great and Julia’s coming to stay for the weekend” she said “Oh and Mitchell says hello and he hopes you both have a great holiday” Standing back I noticed her bright eyes and pink skin glowing despite the small shadow of sadness that flickered in the corner of her pupils.

“That sounds good, but how about a cup of tea” I said. She nodded and skipped through into the kitchen.

Soon Peter appeared to drive us to the airport.

“Are you coming to say goodbye” I aske
d
Charlotte.

“I’d rather not if that’s ok as it will just remind me of Mitchell leaving and I’m just getting used to him not being around” Charlie said, hugging me once more.

“Have a good time Mum, you deserve it” Her bottom lip trembled but she held it together and gave James a hug too. I reached to give Jester once last stroke; he seemed forlorn to see James leaving him.

“Charlie will look after you” James said to his dog, giving him a final hug.

I looked through the rear screen of the car as we pulled away and took a deep breath at the sight of my daughter. She had grown up immensely in the last few months and I was so proud of her. James was sitting in the front with his Dad and reminding him of everything he could think of for the duration of our holiday. I sent a quick message to Sarah and promised her a postcard fro
m
Jamaic
a
and hopefully an answer to her plea. Then switching my phone off I settled into the backseat and closed my eyes for a brief moment.

The next thing I knew the car had stopped and James turned to me

“Wakey, wakey we’re at the airport” he said, laughing lightly as I struggled to open my eyes.

“Did I fall asleep” I asked.

“Oh yes, Dad and I had to turn the radio up to cover the sound of your snores” James said.

“It’s true” Peter joined in, but he laughed and I knew they were both winding me up. Once in the airport we said goodbye to Peter and then checked our bags in.

“We’ve got time for a drink before we board” James said, steering me into the nearest bar.

Once on the plane I fastened the belt and then reached for James’ hand.

“Nervous” he asked.

“Yes, I’ve never flown before” I said “This will be good practice for when I take the long flight t
o
New Zealand”

“You mean you’ve never been, despite your parents emigrating there” James asked, shocked.

“No, I never got the chance or had the money to afford to go. Everything that Mark left I put into trust fo
r
Charlott
e
once I’d paid the mortgage off the house” I replied.

“That was good of you”

“Not really I did it because of my guilt…Charlotte was the only one who truly loved Mark and that’s why she gets the money, the house too”

When the plane began to roll along the runway, I gripped James’ hand tighter in mine. My fingers were firmly intertwined with his as he gently squeezed and at the same time looked over at me. The plane turned and then started to speed up before suddenly the ground dropped away as I stared out of the window. Up it went, breaking into the darkness of the night as the stars came into sharper focus.

“Look, it’s so beautiful” I breathed, letting go of my tight grip but not of the reassuring hand. “The stars are what kept me going through the years” I whispered.

“Me too, every time I looked at them I would think of you, wonder where you were. Who you were with? If you ever thought of me?”

“Really”

“Really”

I never noticed the air hostess arrive until James let go of my hand and then replaced it with a glass of champagne.

“Here’s to us and a fabulous holiday” James toasted.

“Absolutely” I said, our glasses kissed and then we did too. I leant against James’ shoulder and sighed softly. This felt so right and so perfect that I almost considered that I was dreaming and would wake up in my own bed, alone. Touching down in the darkness felt disorientating after the nine hour flight but we were soon through the airport and then found a taxi to take us to the hotel complex.

James had kept the resort a secret and to maintain this he took a moment in the taxi to blindfold me. Luckily staff sorted out our bags for us as James took my hand in his and carefully guided me along. With no sight I could hear the sound of our feet on wooden floor and also the wonderful sound of the sea, gently lapping at the shore. Then we stopped and I heard the sound of a door opening and the staff leaving our bags. Suddenly I was in James’ arms as he carried me into the room and kicked the door shut behind him, still holding me tight.