Unbroken (22 page)

As she exited her bedroom with her suitcases in tow, she saw Jake waiting for her at the top of the stairs.

“Why d
on’t you head on downstairs,” he said.  “I’ll bring the bags.”

She nodded, keeping
hold of her overnight bag and leaving the duffle bag and suitcase for Jake as she made her way down the stairs.  Reaching the foyer, she took one last look around.  In many ways she’d begun to think of this as her home, and though she knew it was time, she didn’t want to leave.

Biting down on her lower lip, she knew she had to go before she started crying.  And so, stepping through the front door she forced h
erself to walk across the porch and down the steps toward the Explorer which was parked out front.  Lifting the rear hatch, she placed her bag in the back and then turned back around toward the cabin.  Wanting to sear the image into her brain for all eternity, she allowed her eyes to move along the cabin’s honed timbers, beautiful stonework, tall windows and peaked roof, committing every last detail to memory.  Then, spinning around, she turned her gaze to the jagged peaks of the Sawtooth Mountains, drinking in their majestic beauty one last time. 

As they drove past Ben’s farmhouse a short time later, Britney felt a deep sadness.  She’d grown especially fond of both Ben and Rosemary over the past months and knowing that she would likely never see either of them again was heartrending.  They’d come to Jake’s for dinner just last night to say their goodbyes, but she missed them already. 

“Did
you remind Ben to check in on the kittens from time to time?” she asked, knowing that Jake had gone to see him earlier that morning to say one last farewell.

“Yep, their mother’s moved them all down from the loft now so it shouldn’t be too difficult for him to look in on them.”

“Oh, that’s good.”  She’d been sending emails, along with photos for Rayanne to pass along to Rachel and Ruby, keeping them updated on the kittens’ welfare.  But now it was Ben’s turn to keep tabs on the adorable foursome.

“
By the way, I spoke with Elizabeth this morning,” she said a few minutes later.  “She’s been working with Bruce and she’s up to speed on all of your upcoming engagements, as well as your travel itinerary.”

“Great.” Jake tried to sound pleased that his new assistant was ready to take over.

“I think she’ll be a good fit.”

Jake nodded.  “I’m sure she’
ll be fine,” he said, before reaching over and switching on the radio.

They spent the next portion of their drive in
relative silence as they passed through Stanley and continued along the highway toward Sun Valley, both lost to their own musings.

Once they’d
arrived at the airport and returned Britney’s Explorer to the rental car lot, she and Jake made their way to Ian’s waiting Gulfstream.  Like he had been before, Tom was waiting for them at the bottom of the steps.

“Good Morning, Mr. McCoy, Miss
Taylor,” he greeted with a smile.

“Good morning, Tom,” Britney responded, returning his
friendly smile. 

“Hi, Tom,” Jake replied, shaking the pilot’s hand.

“How was your stay?”

“It was great, Tom.  Thanks,” Jake said. 

As Jake chatted with Tom, Britney made her way up the stairs and into the plane.  As expected, Allison and Heidi were waiting just inside the doorway, both with bright smiles adorning their pretty faces.  “Good morning, Miss Taylor,” they chorused. 

“
Hi, ladies.”

“How was Idaho?” Alliso
n asked politely, though even as she waited for her reply, her eyes strayed over Britney’s shoulder to where Jake was still standing at the bottom of the steps.

Though she felt a twinge of irritation, she did her best to not let it show.  “It was great, Allison.  Thanks for asking.”

“Can we get you anything?” Heidi asked, though she too seemed more focused on what was going on at the bottom of the steps.

“A bottled water would be great, thanks.” 
Making her way to her seat, she could hear Heidi moving about in the plane’s small galley.

Taking the same seat she’d occupied during their flight to Sun Valley, Britney’s eyes moved to the leather sofa across the aisle.  It was almost impossible to believe how much had changed since she’d sat there last, casting furtive glances at Jake’s sleeping form as he’
d laid sprawled atop the narrow couch, her heart racing in fear and apprehension.

“
Here you are, Miss Taylor.”  Heidi handed her the water she’d requested, breaking into her thoughts.  “Is there anything else I can get you?”

“Thanks, I’m good.”  You’re free to return to ogling Jake now
, she added silently.  Sighing as Heidi nearly sprinted back to the front of the plane, Britney knew she had no right to feel resentful.  She’d given up any claim she might have had on Jake, and now, painful as it might be, she was going to have to live with the consequences of her decision.

As Jake entered the interior of the plane, Heidi and Allison were waiting to greet him with wide, welcoming smiles.

“Mr. McCoy, it’s so nice to see you again,” Hei
di gushed.

“Yes, it’s great to have you back, Mr. McCoy,” Allison added.

“Thanks,” he replied affably.

Heidi stepped back as he progressed farther into the plane. 
“Did you enjoy your time in Idaho?” 

“I did,” he said, casting a quick glance at Britney.  “E
ven more so than I had expected,” he added as he moved to take a seat on the sofa. 

Hearing his
last comment, Britney glanced up, but then quickly turned her head toward the window before either Allison or Heidi noted her expression.

“Can we get you anything, Mr. McCoy?” Allison asked as she and Heidi followed him to his seat.

“No thanks.  I’m fine for now.”

“Alright.  Just let us know if you need anything.”

As the two flight attendants returned to the front of the plane to converse with the pilot and co-pilot, Jake settled back into his seat.

Across the aisle, Britney could almost feel the heat of Jake’s gaze upon her.  She turned to look at him, her mouth curving into a faint smile.
  He returned her smile with a slight one of his own, and then closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the seat.  How quickly things had changed, she thought, already missing their easy familiarity and of course the intimacy they’d shared just hours ago.

During the flight back to Minnesota, Jake had little time to dwell upon the events of the past weeks, for Heidi and Allison kept him occupied with a steady stream of chatter as they flitted around him.  A couple of times he thought he saw a look of irritation cross Britney’s face, but whenever she chanced to catch any of them looking her way she was quick to school her features into an expression of cool, unruffled composure.

When they landed in Minneapolis, Britney could hardly wait to get off the plane.  Though Jake’s behavior had been faultless, watching Allison and Heidi fawn over him for the duration of the flight had been difficult to stomach.
Enough already.
 
He’s mine
, she’d wanted to scream aloud.  But he wasn’t hers.  And she had no one to blame for that but herself.

Disembarking, she saw that Frank was waiting for her on the tarmac.  Jake, however, had left his own vehicle parked in the Blades private hangar and would be driving himself home.
  Waving to Frank, she stopped a few feet from the bottom of the stairs, waiting for Jake to exit the plane. 

“I’ll grab your bags and get them loaded into the car, Miss Taylor,” Frank said as he ambled toward the plane.

“Thanks, Frank,” she called back.

“So, I guess this is it.” Jake said quietly as he came to stand in front of her a few seconds later.  There wasn’t much left to say.  They’d said their goodbyes already.

Britney looked into his expressive eyes, trying to burn their glorious green color into her memory.  “I guess so.”  She wanted to throw herself into his arms, grab on and never let go.

“Take care, Britney.”  The simple phrase sounded ridiculous, even to his own ears, but what was he supposed to say.  He hadn’t wanted things to end this way; he hadn’t wanted them to end at all, that had been her choice, not his.

“You too,” she uttered softly.  Cognizant of the fact that they weren’t alone, Britney resisted the urge to
reach out and touch him one last time.

Uncaring who saw, Jake bent down and placed a light kiss on Britney’s cheek.  “Goodbye,” he whispered softly.

“Goodbye, Jake.”

Straightening to his full height, he gave her one last smile before he turned and walked away.

As she watched him go, it was all Britney could do to keep from dropping to her knees and crying out as an unbearable anguish tore through her like the slashing of a dozen razor blades. 
Keep it together
, she told herself. 
You can’t fall to pieces now, not here.
  And so, summoning every last bit of strength she possessed, she managed to walk the short distance to the waiting sedan and shut herself inside. 

“Thanks, Frank,” Britne
y said as he hefted her bags out of the trunk and then carried them past the doorman and into the lobby of her building.

“No problem, Miss
Taylor.”

“Give Jenny my best, will you.”

“Sure thing,” he agreed with a smile.  “You take care now.”

Slinging the overnight bag onto her shoulder, she grabbed her duffle bag,
set it on top of her rolling suitcase and grasping the handle, pulled it along behind her as she made her way to the elevator.  

Entering her condo a couple
of minutes later, she switched on the lights and did a quick sweep of the interior.  It looked exactly the same as she’d left it.  Surprisingly, that wasn’t nearly as comforting as she’d thought it would be.

Walking
through the living room and into the bedroom, she set the suitcase on the floor next to the bed and dropped the other two bags onto the comforter.  Unzipping the duffle bag, she was surprised to see something lying on top of the pile of folded clothes.  It was the size of a small shoebox, gift wrapped in blue paper and tied with a silver ribbon.  Jake must have put it there when he’d gone upstairs to fetch her bags.

Hesitantly
, she lifted the package from the duffle and then sat down on the edge of the mattress.  With trembling fingers, she carefully untied the fabric ribbon and set it aside.  Then, pulling apart the edges of the paper, she unwrapped a plain white box.  Lifting the lid, she removed several sheets of tissue paper to reveal the contents within. 

She sat there for a long time, just staring
at Jake’s gift as her eyes grew moist with tears.  It was the beautiful skeleton clock she’d bid on at the auction.  Finally giving in to her emotions at last, she raised her hands to her face, sobbing and sobbing as the agonizing pain of what she’d lost threatened to break her heart in two.

Walking into her closet
Monday morning, Britney eyed the collection of drab business suits hanging on the rod with a sigh of resignation.  Though she had deviated from her customary attire during her stay in Stanley, now that she was back in Minneapolis that wouldn’t be so easy to do, especially at work.  For although she’d finally begun to overcome some of the deeply-rooted fallacies that Randall Littrell’s hateful words and pitiless cruelty had wrought, she still had to keep her identity a secret, else all of her efforts to create a new life for herself would have been for naught.

And so, with a pronounced lack of enthusiasm, she selected a navy blue pant suit and pulled it from the rack.

Stepping from the elevator
just over an hour later, she walked into the reception area of the Blades corporate offices.

“
Welcome back, Miss Taylor,” the receptionist greeted from behind her desk.

“Thank you,
Susan.  It’s good to be back,” she said, smiling graciously as she continued in the direction of Ian’s office, passing several other Blades employees along the way.  Although they all acknowledged her with a polite good morning, she couldn’t help noticing that no one offered her anything more by way of greeting, despite the fact that she’d been away from the office for nearly eight weeks. 

Even Grace, who was seated behind the desk outside of Ian’s office, merel
y smiled and greeted her with a rather impersonal,
welcome back, Miss Taylor
.  She supposed that she shouldn’t be surprised.  She’d never made any real attempt to get to know anyone within the Blades organization on a personal level, with the exception of Ian, of course.  She’d always been far more concerned with maintaining her anonymity than with making friends.  However, her lack of familiarity with the other employees hadn’t really bothered her before.  But now she found it oddly disconcerting.

“
Thank you, Grace.  And thank you for filling in for me while I was away,” she said with a smile of genuine gratitude.

“Of course, Miss
Taylor.  It was my pleasure,” she replied politely.  “Would you like me to catch you up on Mr. McNealy’s agenda now, or would you prefer to go over things after you get settled in?”

Britney glanced at her watch.  It was a few minutes past eight.  “Why don’t you give me an hour or so, and then we can go over everything.”

“Of course, Miss Taylor,” she replied, rising from her seat behind the desk.  “I’ll check back with you in an hour.”

“Thanks, Grace.”  Watching as the older woman w
alked away, Britney felt a twinge of regret.  After spending time with Jake and his family, she’d begun to grow accustomed to the friendly rapport she’d shared with them, something she hadn’t experienced with anyone other than a select few in a very long time.  And now, to return to the loneliness and isolation of the life she’d been living for the past five years, she realized just how much she’d enjoyed it, and consequently, just how much she was going to miss it.  Of course, she knew that she had no one to blame but herself.  This was the life she’d created for herself, the life she’d thought she had to live to protect herself. 
But now?
  Going back wasn’t going to be easy.  In fact, she feared it was going to be far more difficult than she had imagined.

Entering Ian’s office a few minutes later, Britney greeted her boss with a warm smile.  Despite how much she’d enjoyed her time in Stanley, she’d missed him. 

Ian stood up at once, a huge grin spreading across the lower portion of his face.  “Britney,” he exclaimed, moving
quickly around the desk.

“Hi, Ian.  Did you miss me?” she asked, walking toward his desk with a warm smile upon her lips.
  Before she knew what he was about, he’d wrapped his arms around her, hugging her like a long lost relative.  She hugged him back, pleased that he seemed so happy to see her.

“
More than you know,” he said, giving her a squeeze before dropping his arms and taking a step back.  “And now I’ve got both you
and
Jake McCoy,” he continued.  “Truly, Britney, I can’t thank you enough.  You really took one for the team these past months. 
Literally
,” he added with a chuckle.

“I’m
just glad it all worked out, for you and the team,” she said.  “I know that Jake will do all that he can to help the Blades win the cup this year.”

“And we
are
going to win it this year,” Ian proclaimed confidently.  “So come and sit,” Ian instructed, motioning to the chairs that sat in front of his desk.  “Tell me about Idaho.”

“Alright.”  She sat down upon one of the chairs while Ian took the other.  “Stanley was really beautiful.  And just like you predicted, Jake’s cabin was amazing.”

“See, I told you not to worry.”

“Yep, you were right,” she acknowledged.

“And?” he prompted.  “How was it working with Jake?”

“It was fine,” she hedged.  “
Jake was great and really easy to work for.”

“Oh.  Well good.”  Ian said, though his expression suggested that he’d been expecting a bit more information than that.

Unfortunately, however, she didn’t want to talk about Jake or her time in Stanley.  Her emotions were still too raw. 
“Well, I suppose I’d better get to work,” she said, keeping her voice light as she rose from her chair.  “I asked Grace to catch me up on all that I’ve missed and I don’t want to keep her waiting.”

Looking a little surprised, Ian stood up as well.  “Okay, sure.  We can talk more later.”

After m
eeting with Grace, Britney spent the remainder of the morning working at her desk and struggling to keep Jake from her thoughts.  However, despite her best effort, it proved to be an impossible feat.  She couldn’t help it.  After having spent so much of her time with him for the past weeks, she felt lost without him.  She missed the sound of his voice, the warmth of his smile and the feel of his touch almost desperately.  She missed Ben and Rosemary too.  And oddly enough, she missed Bruce as well.  Well, talking to him anyhow.  She couldn’t count the number of times she’d reached to answer the phone, expecting to hear his voice, or looked at her email, expecting to see his name on one or more of the messages in her inbox.

In the past she’d never paid much attention to the time, but today was different and by five o’clock she was ready to go.  But then again, even as she gathered up her things, she couldn’t help thinking about what awaited her once she left the office.  Sadly the answer was nothing.  Tyler was in Virginia and she didn’t have any friends or family in Minneapolis. In addition, she’d effectively isolated herself from her coworkers, so whatever after work get-togethers they might have planned assuredly didn’t include her.  Regrettably, there was no one waiting for her at home either, no one to share the events of her day with, no one to make her laugh or smile, no one to eat dinner with and no one to make love with until the wee hours of the morning.  There was nothing awaiting her but loneliness.

None of those things had bothered her
in the past nearly as much as they did now.  And it was because of Jake.  He’d opened her eyes to the hollow, emptiness of her life as it was and to the possibility of what her life could be.  He’d given her a chance at happiness and she’d thrown it away.  And now she had to live without him, the man she’d fallen in love with, the man she would love for all the remaining days of her life.

Sitting in the locker room at the Blades training facility, Jake
bent down to unlace his skates.

“What the hell?  Is Hannigan
trying to kill us?” his teammate, Alexander Sakarov, griped in his thick Russian accent as he dropped down onto the bench next to him.

Jake
snorted but didn’t look up.  Coach Hannigan was one of the best coaches in the NHL and he expected his players to be the best too.  “You’re out of shape, Alex.  What did you do all summer, lay on the beach drinking Mai Tais?”  He knew that Alex had a house in Maui, and stayed there during the off-season.

“Hardly,” Alex replied as he
pulled off his practice jersey, tossed it aside and then bent down to untie his own skates.  “Well, maybe I did spend a little time at the beach,” he admitted with a grin.  “But I don’t drink Mai Tais.  Those are for sissies.”

Jake chuckled as he pulled off his skates and set them at the foot of his locker.  Then, standing up, he strip
ped off his gear and headed for the showers.

Minutes later
, he stood with his hands pressed against the wall, letting the hot water stream down the back of his neck and over his aching muscles.  Alex was right, Coach Hannigan had been pushing them hard, but unlike Alex, Jake welcomed the grueling practices.  For two solid hours each day he could think about something other than Britney and he relished the distraction.

Foolishly, he went into each ensuing day with the hope that it would be better than the last, but much to his frustration, getting over Britney Taylor was not proving to be an easy task.

For Britney, the days and weeks following her return to Minneapolis seemed to move along at a snail’s pace, each
new day essentially the same as the last.  She did her job with the professionalism and expertise required of her, but unlike before, her heart just wasn’t in it.  Fortunately, Ian didn’t seem to notice.  Or if he did, he kept his observations to himself. 

But the nights, the nights were even worse
than the days.  Having grown accustomed to sleeping beside Jake, wrapped in the warmth and comfort of his arms, now, lying alone in her bed, she found that sleep was difficult to come by.  As such, she spent the majority of her nights lying awake, staring at the ceiling and thinking about Jake and all that she had sacrificed.  It was a sad, pitiful existence at best.

Then, j
ust as Britney was contemplating the lonely night ahead, the phone on her desk buzzed, distracting her from her sorrowful musings.  It was Ian.

“Hey Britney, can you come into my office for a minute?” he asked.

“Sure.  I’ll be right there.”

Walking into Ian’s office
a few seconds later, she could tell by his expression that something was troubling him.  “What’s wrong?” she asked as she walked toward his desk.

Ian leaned back
in his chair, smiling ruefully as he rested his head against the seat back.  “It looks like I’m going to have to find a new date for the Children’s Outreach Program dinner.”

“Uh oh.” 
The fundraiser was only a few days away.  Cocking her head to the side, Britney regarded him inquiringly.  “What happened?”

Ian
merely shrugged. 

“
Let me guess, Irina wanted you to commit?”

“I’ve never
responded well to ultimatums,” he said with a wry expression.

“Ah.”  She nodd
ed in understanding.  “So, do you want to talk about it?” she asked, settling into one of the armchairs fronting his desk.

Ian sighed.  “No, not really.”

She tipped her head and arched her brow knowingly.

He merely grinned.

“You know, Ian, you
are
going to have to settle down sometime,” she began.  “But clearly Irina isn’t the right woman for you.”  Despite his playboy reputation, Britney knew that he was ready to marry and start a family.  He just needed to find the right woman, the one woman he couldn’t envision his life without.

“
Yeah?  And how do you know that?”

“Because,
” she said.  “When the right woman does come along, you won’t be willing to let her go.”

As Britney drove home
later that evening, the words she’d said to Ian just a few hours earlier kept repeating themselves over and over in her head.  The right man had come along for her, the man she couldn’t envision her life without, and fool that she was she’d let him go.  She’d made the wrong choice, she knew that now with absolute certainty.  And now she needed to do whatever she possibly could to fix it, before it was too late.  But how?  How could she prove to Jake that she was willing to do whatever she had to do to be with him and to let him know in no uncertain terms that he
was
worth fighting for? 

Entering the
parking garage of her building, Britney pulled into her space and turned off the ignition.  She sat there, her mind spinning, until finally inspiration struck.  She knew what she had to do.  Pulling her cell phone from her briefcase, she dialed Ian’s number.

He answered on the second ring.  “Hey
, Britney, what’s up?”

“
Hi, Ian. Do you remember when you said you owed me one, you know, before I left for Stanley?”

“Uh, sure,” he replied.

“Good, because I need a favor,” she said.