Uncle John’s Presents Mom’s Bathtub Reader (4 page)

A trip around the world shows that there’s more than one way to be a great mom to your baby.

A
ny new mom will tell you that everyone from grandma to a stranger in a grocery store has an opinion on the best way to care for babies. From the moment of conception to the utterance of a first word, everyone is quick to offer advice.

But are there any right answers? A quick look at the traditions of the world’s moms shows that different cultures have very different ideas on what makes a good mother.

Pregnant moms in England and the United States know about eating right when there is a baby on the way. They avoid alcohol, eat a balanced diet, include plenty of protein, and take supplements like folic acid and iron. In India, cautious moms may avoid foods traditionally believed to cause miscarriage or premature delivery, such as meat, eggs, fish, onions, garlic, pineapple, mangoes, and blackberries.

In the West, pregnant mothers are urged to stay active, advice that is taken by moms worldwide. In Vietnam, a pregnant woman is careful not to sleep too much because that is believed to prolong the labor. Instead, to stay strong she will continue to do her housework to keep those labor pains as short as possible.

Many Vietnamese mothers believe in prenatal awareness and try to teach their children even before they are out of the womb. Ideally, a mother listens to sweet music to help enhance her baby’s artistic and musical skills. They’ll also stay away from horror stories and scary films or pictures, as they can affect the mind of her baby-to-be. Even etiquette can be learned as an embryo; moms are careful to avoid bad attitudes and practice good manners so that their kids will be positively polite too.

In the United States, some pregnant mothers are going after the “Mozart Effect.” Two scientists from the University of California-Irvine found that a group of college students had a temporary increase in spatial-temporal reasoning after listening to Mozart. Their current research has shown that listening to Mozart heightens brain function in preschoolers. Anxious to get in on the action, pregnant mothers are listening to Mozart and hoping their unborn babies reap the benefits in the womb. So if toddlers start humming along to
The Magic Flute
, those moms may be on to something.

Smoking cigarettes while pregnant is a big no-no. But what about smoking your baby after it’s born? Don’t worry, “smoking” a baby means exposing him or her to smoke from a smoldering fire so that he or she can be purified by it. In Australia, Warlpiri women purify a newborn baby with smoke from buring acacia leaves. Held high above the fire so as not to burn him or her, the baby is exposed to smoke—first the backside, then the front. In India
babies are also “smoked” but benzoin is added to a fire so that the smoke contains antibiotic properties.

For those predisposed to diapers, in the West moms can choose between cloth diapers or disposable paper and plastic. Nepalese babies have diapers made of soft yak hair. The Inuit might use lichen or rabbit skin.

Some moms forgo diapers altogether. Many African mothers who carry their babies much of the day are quick to sense when a baby needs to relieve him- or herself. Mom is even quicker to move baby from her chest or back and place him or her in a squat on the ground

When it comes to more developed bathroom behavior, has anyone ever agreed? The American Pediatric Society states flatly that children younger than 12 months have no control over bladder or bowel movements and little control for six months or so after that. In the United States, moms are urged not to begin toilet training until 18 months at the very earliest. Some Beng mothers from the Ivory Coast of Africa begin toilet training their children when they’re as young as 3 or 4 months! Apparently they’re not listening to the American Pediatric Society much!

Keeping babies clean, soft, and smelling good is a common aim among moms. How they go about it can be quite different. Mothers in Africa and Asia put herbs in the babies’ bathwater to keep them smelling good. And if you think you keep your baby clean, tell it to a Beng mother. She scrubs her baby at least twice a day, believing it’s as
important as feeding him. In India, some mothers don’t consider a baby’s bath complete until they’ve blown water into the ears, nose, eyes, and mouth to clear them.

Western mothers often smooth a lotion on a baby after a bath. But not all moms have access to running water or baby lotion, so they resort to homemade remedies. In Africa, a Masai mother will warm water in her mouth before spitting it in a strong stream to shower over her infant. New Caledonian mothers chew herbs into a lotion and then spit them out to rub on a young infant’s skull.

Some Western moms are going to classes to learn a skill that Dogon mothers in Mali have developed over centuries—baby massage. Western moms are often encouraged to give their babies a massage before bedtime. Dogon mothers finish each baby bath with a massage. Indian mothers will also massage a baby all over its body after a bath.

Because moms are on the go, baby often comes along for the ride. When they go out on errands, Western moms often hop into the car and baby goes along in a car seat. If mom is on foot, baby still may be on wheels—in the stroller.

Nepalese mothers take their little ones to the field in portable cradles. When the mothers of the Ache tribe in Paraguay need to work, they carry their baby in a sling until he or she is about 18 months old, at which time the baby graduates to riding in baskets. Because they live in dangerous terrain, busy Ache moms carry their children until they’re five years of age. Other moms, like those of the Arapesh of New Guinea, get their babies off their backs earlier—at about three years.

In many industrialized nations, moms train their infants to sleep in a crib. In Holland, Dutch moms emphasize quiet routines for their babies during the day so that they’ll be able to follow a nighttime schedule. But in industrialized Japan, moms and dads share their bedrooms with the babies and kids too. Kung San mothers sleep with their babies. In South America, Yanomamo babies sleep with their mothers until they are weaned and then graduate to hammocks of their own. In Russia, Scotland, Australia, Africa, South America, Polynesia, and other cultures all around the world, moms are softly singing lullabies to urge baby to sleep.

So what have we learned? It seems there aren’t any hard and fast rules when it comes to baby care. Try everything and settle on what works for you and your baby—no matter where your family comes from!

Know how many songs are titled “Mother”? A lot. We listened to some of them, both famous and obscure, to see if you’d want to play any of them for your own mother. Here’s what we’ve got.

“Mother” by Tori Amos
(album:
Little Earthquakes
, 1992)

What it sounds like:
A piano line nicked from a Charlie Brown special, while the red-haired one begs her mother to leave a light on before Tori goes out into the big bad world.

Play for mom?
Sure, it’s a great song for letting mom know you’ll always need her. Perfect for the night before your wedding. At the very least, the tinkly piano will mellow both you and mom out.

“Mother” by Burning Spear
(album:
Man in the Hills
, 1976)

What it sounds like:
A vast reggae groove sweeping over the land, as Burning Spear relates the wisdom his mother passed down to him.

Play for mom?
You bet. Everyone can use some reggae —even moms.

“Mother” by Danzig
(album:
Danzig
, 1988)

What it sounds like:
Goth metal rocker warns mothers of the world not to let their kids be like him (which is to say, short, hairy, and shirtless), while the band apes Deep Purple.

Play for mom?
Does your mom ride Harleys, hang out with outlaws, and pick hard-rock songs on the jukeboxes to start bar fights by? No? Then, no.

“Mother” by E-Trance
(album:
E-Trance
, 1995)

What it sounds like:
Like this Japanese art-rock group is playing guitars with kitchen sinks and armadillos. There are lyrics—in English, even—but they’re too distorted to make out.

Play for mom?
Only if you’re testing to see how long she can politely listen to white noise before telling you to turn it off.

“Mother” by Cyndi Lauper
(album:
Sisters of Avalon
, 1997)

What it sounds like:
Surprisingly atmospheric, with a world-beat vibe (including pipes and talking drums). It’s a long way from “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.”

Play for mom?
Heck, yeah. Your mom probably already likes Cyndi. What could possibly go wrong?

“Mother” by Mission Man
(album:
Into My Mind
, 1998)

What it sounds like:
A guy standing in front of a karaoke machine, rapping out his memories of his deceased mother in a sludge-paced rap. Both sad and bad.

Play for mom?
Not even if your mom is a hip-hop queen. Really. No.

“Mother” by Anika Moa
(album:
Thinking Room
, 2002)

What it sounds like:
Just lovely. Moa has a sweet, evocative voice, and this lilting appreciation of mother would be perfect for a very special episode of the
Gilmore Girls.

Play for mom?
Oh yeah. It’s a total parent-child four-minute bonding experience. She’ll get teary and everything.

“Mother” by Pink Floyd
(album:
The Wall
, 1979)

What it sounds like:
Years of therapy imploding over the course of just one song! But also nicely melodic and pretty to the extent any song about an overbearing mother smothering her son can be.

Play for mom?
If she’s a prog-rock gal, yes (and you know, a surprising number of moms are). Otherwise, you’re going to have to explain why you’re suggesting she’s suffocating you. Have fun with
that.

“Mother” by Sally Rogers
(album:
Generations
, 1989)

What it sounds like:
Broadway musical–like tune about putting stars on strings and saving various mementos to share with dear ole mom. Lots of piano. Inoffensively pretty.