Under His Guard (16 page)

“Don' it?” He raked both hands through his hair. “What's it you call it? Polyamory? How can one person be enough after dat? I don't got no pussy, no tits. No soft lips.”

I almost laughed. Leon had the plumpest, softest lips I'd ever tasted, man or woman. “That's your problem?”

“Ain't a problem. It's a fact. And stop gettin' empath-y on me.”

“You feel inadequate?”

“
Ta gueule
! You had a three-way relationship, asshole. How the hell am I gonna live up to dat?”

I opened my mouth to reply. He slammed a hand against my lips. “Fuck you.” He took a swing at me. It hit my jaw with a crunch. He hit me again and again. Each time I did nothing to block him, which only magnified his wrath.

I silently took it all as my due.

When he slumped against me, I trailed my hands down his back. “If you get it all now, like you think, you'd know I cleared out all of Tam and Wilde's belongings from my caravan before we left Chitamauga. I gave everything to Eden to distribute. I gave their things away so I could bring you there, with me, Leon, without them between us even though you couldn't remember.” I smoothed the wild tumble of hair off his brow. “I just wanted you.”

“You din't. You don'.”

“You are so goddamn stubborn.”

His chin shot up. “And you're too stuck in your ways.”

I released him and paced a ring around him. “Am I?”

“Yeah. I'll never be enough for you. I understand why you tried to let me go.”

“You don't have the first fucking clue.” Worse than his anger was his fucked-up sense of self-worth. It ripped my heart in two. “You think I can't love you? I'm a fucking coward. I didn't want to love you because—”

“'Cause I'm gon' die.” Those big, sad eyes, so knowing, struck my soul with a piercing blow.

Someone pounded on the door.

“Not now!” I glared between the door and my man.

The knocking became insistent. If it were Liz with nibbles or Raine with another outfit change, I would not be held responsible for my actions.

I flung the door open to see Raine. Not the man of the hour. “Goddammit! I said not now!”

“I think you might wanna hear this.”

I was about to grab him by the shirt and shake him when he drawled, “I think I've got a working antidote.”

I
regarded Raine with a healthy dose of suspicion. “That was quick.”

His hair stood in red corkscrews around his head as if he'd twisted his fingers through it repeatedly. “Like I told you, Mother Nature—”

“Provides. Yeah, I got that.” Just like she seemingly provided him an endless supply of spliffs, judging by his red-rimmed eyes and pinpoint pupils. No way was I about to let him inject Leon in the middle of the night with some half-baked cocktail of a cure he'd dreamed up while he was half-baked himself. I was ready to slam the door in his face when Leon budged between the door and me.

“Let 'im in.” Leon's hand glided up my arm until his fingers tangled with mine and he tugged me back.

As I moved out of the way, he shuffled in front of me, one foot over the threshold.

“Where do you think you're going?” I grabbed his wrist. “We're not done here.”

“It's all about the cure, right?” he said with false brightness.

“And finding Cutler,” Raine added.

I wasn't into violence just for the fuck of it, but right then I wanted to knock Raine flat on his back.

“I can at least be a guinea pig for this since you keep sidelinin' me when it comes to the important stuff.” Leon stood half in and half out of the doorway.

“I am not letting you be another test subject for another test-tube yahoo, babe.”

“Don't see how you can stop me.”

Raine considered our exchange with one eye on us and the other aimed at the cig he rolled with one hand.

“I'm pretty sure I could find something to make you stay put,” I said.

Recognizing my sexual intent, Leon arched an eyebrow. “Maybe later.”

This was not the time to get all horned up over the man who teased out all my most intense reactions from anger to arousal. “Wait,” I ordered.

Amusement curled his lips. “Aye-aye, sir.”

I brought my face to his, my mouth landing in the hollow beneath his ear. “You call me
sir
, you better mean it.”

His response was a ragged moan. Better than his moaning about how I was overbearing and bossy. I stalked through our room to throw on a shirt so we could get this shit over with. Raine trilled a low-pitched whistle behind me. I glanced back to see him staring at the relief map of scar tissue on my upper back and shoulders.

My spine stiffened.

“That looks painful.” Raine lounged against the doorway.

“It's healed.” Brushing past Raine, I grabbed Leon's hand. “This thing between you and me tonight? It's not done yet. Think of this as a reprieve.”

He mumbled something under his breath, but he didn't yank his hand free.

We followed Raine down three flights of stairs, taking a turn at the bottom landing, where we came upon Liz, who had the midnight watch.

“Just out for an evenin' stroll.” Raine nodded at her.

“Not a threesome?” She winked at me.

Leon pulled up short in front of her. “There's no orgy. We're not gettin' our rocks off. And Darke said he could make do with me alone.”

Dipping her head, Liz made herself nice and comfy in her tidy corner. “Well, okay, then.”

“Oui. C'est ça.”

I grinned at Leon for schooling Liz. He prodded me along, venting more steam along the way. We maneuvered another staircase, this one leading down into the musty innards of the castle keep. As soon as Raine led us through a timber door, we were surrounded by muggy, smoky air. With no windows for ventilation, a thick blue haze of pot smoke surrounded us. His mad-scientist lab resembled a hookah den more than a doctor's workplace.

“Quite the little chem lab you've got down here,” I said.

“
Hmm?
Oh yeah. Freeing the mind through chemical aid lets the ideas flow through me.” He gestured toward a bong bubbling away over a Bunsen burner and burping out sweet-smelling fumes. “I call it liquid meditation for the brain.”

Free his mind? More like freebasing.
I was not going to let Leon take anything this double-talking doped-up douche bag prescribed. My senses went on high alert, but as hard as I tried to get an emotional read on Raine, I got nothing. All that came back was an opaque veil. He either knew how to block me, or he was simply empty of that which defined humanity.

I pushed Leon in front of me so we could we get out of the room. “This is a waste of time.”

Leon wouldn't budge. “If I can do one thing for the people, Darke. Please.”

I relented. “Let me see this cure.”

Raine loped to a table cluttered with test tubes and measuring apparatuses. He lifted a rich purple piece of fabric from over a vial, which he handed to me. I swirled the contents. Glinting diamond-like shards shot through the thick liquid. Far too pretty a thing to have been cooked up in this dank and murky basement. I lifted the tube to my nose and sniffed. Despite the beauty of the colorful pearlescent liquid, I expected to catch a whiff of a vile-smelling brew.

I closed my eyes as the perfume swept over me. It was neither antiseptic nor noxious but lightly floral. The scent spun the most pleasant memories to me. My mother singing to me in the safety of the commune, playing with the animals with the other children, watching Leon approach me with definite intentions at Cannon and Nathaniel's handfasting. It was…magical.

Still, a shaman that did not make him.

“Give me the gear.” I plugged a cork stopper in the vial top.

“I should be on hand to monitor him,” Raine said.

“You should go upstairs and raid the food,” I said. “You'll be getting a case of the munchies soon.”

I handed the tube to Leon. He carefully pocketed it.

Raine loaded me up with hypodermics, rubber tourniquets, swabs. His primitive system was so not happening, not tonight. We still had a little time before the virus detonated in Leon and all the others Cutler had infected.

Supplies in hand, we retreated upstairs. On the first level, we came across Sebastian. Sleep slowed his smile.

“Late night?” he asked.

“Early morning,” Leon answered.

Sebastian lounged against the wall. “I wanted to thank y'all.”

“There's no need. You saved our asses,” I said.

Sebastian tucked a lock of platinum-blond hair behind his hair. “Yeah, there is. You know, we don't get a lot of second chances. Those Corps goons separated me from Farrow. She's all the family I have left.” His vivid violet irises flipped up as he ran both hands down his face. “She talks so hard, but she's so soft and no one gets that.” His throat bobbed. “I couldn't bear it if she were tortured.”

Beside me, Leon shuddered.

“I know everyone thinks of me as the newbie, but I'm not. I'd stand in front of a bullet for my sis.”

“I hope it never comes to that, Sebastian.” I clasped his shoulder.

After exchanging quiet good nights with Bas, we headed to our bedroom. Once inside, I placed all the injection paraphernalia on a table and turned to Leon.

“What are you thinking?” I asked, leaning against the table. “You pulled away from me when Bas talked about not wanting Farrow to die a bad death at that camp.”

“Tammerick and Wilde.” He hung his head. “They were your only family in the commune.”

My eyes stung. “Oh, angel.”

He hugged himself, becoming smaller than I'd ever seen him. “I'm sorry I said all dat shit about you, about them. I got no right bein' jealous of ghosts, huh?”

“You've got no need to be jealous at all.” I pulled him into my embrace.

“
Mais
, you din't answer me. How'm I gon' be enough for you?”

With a smile, I placed a fingertip against his lips to quiet him. “You're more than enough. You're a handful, babe. Hasn't anyone ever told you that?”

“
Ma mere…
She don't make it sound like a good thing, though.”

“And now me.” I led him to the bed and began easing him out of his pants. “Trust me, it's a good thing.”

Leon gave a start, pushing off the bed. “What are you doin'?”

“Getting ready to sleep.” I stepped out of my clothes.

He made a beeline for the table. I blocked his way.

“I wanna do it tonight.”

“That's too bad, because I'm not going to let you. You haven't had anything to eat or slept a wink.”

He treated me to a glare that could've seared the skin off my body. “I'm gettin' tired of you orderin' me around.”

“Maybe you'd like it better if I tied you down.” And put a gag in his mouth for good measure.

Leon showed a flash of interest at that idea before he renewed his piercing stare. At least I shut him up long enough to get him to open up and eat some food. Afterward, we crawled into bed. It was nothing less than fucking awkward because he continued to fume. I could leave him the bed and sleep on the floor, but screw that. I wasn't ever gonna waste another night with him. Even if he lay rigid beside me.

Turning on my side, I stroked his chest. “I'm being selfish. I'm scared. I'm worried Raine's fix won't work, baby. Did you see what he's using down there? The conditions he's working in? The place is a shambles, he talks in brain teasers, and he's high half the goddamn time, too. I don't want you to pony up for this because you feel responsible. Not tonight.”

“He ain't the first shaman to dip into the hallucinogens, Darke, lemme tell you.” Lying on his back, Leon crossed his arms behind his head. “Now, I once met a voodoo priestess—she would've been Shehu's counterpart, if not Raine's. She used the iboga root to talk to the higher realms. Dat's how they reach their magic.”

“I don't think he's reaching magic down there.” I cantered on top of him, sliding my body over his. “I just want one final night of hope.”

“Why din't you say that to begin with?” Leon whispered.

“I don't like admitting I'm afraid.”

He lifted his head and kissed me, punctuating each soft sweep across my lips with a flick of his tongue. One leg thrown over mine, he settled in the nook of my neck. “Dat makes me feel better.”

I chuckled. “What? That I'm pissing my pants over here?”

His arms tightened around me, and his knee nudged my erection. “Not wearin' any pants,” he teased, his words sluggish as he let out a yawn.

I was repeatedly reminded of the fact that we were lying together naked until I finally drifted to sleep after him.

I woke late in the morning to the sound of the shower running and Leon whistling. I smiled and stretched. Then I remembered I had promised to give Leon the supposed cure today.

I kicked out of bed and joined him in the shower. Wet, slippery Leon—he reminded me of the night I'd seen him skinny-dipping in Chitamauga Lake, the night I'd convinced myself I could let him go. What a fool I'd been. The muscular lines that ran from his back down to his ass knocked the breath from me and dragged a groan from my throat.

I stepped in after him, pushing my body tight against his.

“Mornin' to you, too.” He peered at me with a grin from behind long, wet locks. His hands roamed low to my thighs, which he gripped and stroked between soapy fingers.

I washed his hair, rubbing against him the entire time. I stroked his rigid cock in a sudsy fist, watching his hips grind into my loose, teasing hold. Soapy flesh, wet hair, bodies covered in teardrops of water, our breaths grew shallow and ragged.

I spread his ass open, sliding a knuckle to his entrance. Kissing his shoulder, I wet my fingers with more soap and snuck inside. Leon gasped and wriggled. He writhed on my fingers while I teased his nipples with the flat of my palm. I sent my hand down his wet belly, playing with the soft hair before grasping his shaft. It was hot, completely stiff, filling my stroking fingers.

“You're cock is incredible. Might have to let you in me one day,” I growled against the nape of his neck.

Leon shuddered hard. “Oh God.”

A warm gush of precome ran down my hand. I grinned. “You like that idea.”

He nodded and mewled. “
Oui.
Jesus,
cher
.”

“Not today, though. Today you are mine.” I ran my cock up and down his ass, testing his tender pucker. “You're mine, right?”

“Yeah. Yes.” Head thrown back, Leon moaned.

“Too tight, babe. Let me grab some lube.” I left him with his taut ass swaying in invitation.

I raced back to him, quickly sheathing my cock in a condom and slicking my length until it was dripping. In my hurry to take him, I squirted the liquid straight into his chute and he jumped when he felt it wetting his insides. I spread him with my fingers and then took my place.

“You want this?” The flared head of my dick brushed his dainty hole.

Leon braced against the wall, legs spread, ass displayed, suds running into his tight cleft. Looking over his shoulder, he smirked. “What's it look like?”

“Smart mouth.”

“I can suck you off with it if you want.”

What I wanted was his lips on mine. I dove down to capture them, easing my tongue into his mouth. I entered him at the same time. The first thrust trapped me in exquisite torment, his ring tightening around the head of my cock.

Leon tried to push back.

I placed my hands on his hips, dragging my lips to his ear. “Easy, easy baby. Take it slow.”

I watched, spellbound and just this side of exploding inside him when he eased his gorgeous ass back a bit at a time. My fingers clenched on his skin, my short nails leaving marks as I fought against thrusting inside him.

Leon rolled his hips in a slow rhythm until he'd slid me inside to the root.

“Jesus Christ.” The words burst from me. “Fuck me.”

I stood as still as I could. Leon swiveled back and forth, taking me in and out, gathering speed, moaning every time I bottomed out inside him.