Under the Cornerstone (39 page)

“You left her mom because you wanted a son?” Nick asks him with a look of disgust.

“He left them both,” I answer.

“That’s fucked, dad,” Ant tells him

“Watch your mouth, boy,” Roger tells him.

“Fuck you. You’re a piece of shit,” Nick raises his voice at his father.

“You left me because you wanted a son?” Noely asks him with disbelief on her face.

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you take me in when my mom died? Why didn’t you come to her funeral?” Noely asks with emotion in her voice.

“You weren’t coming into my house,” the wife says.

“What the fuck is wrong with you two?” Nick asks.

I take a deep breath and exhale slowly before I murder them both, “Noely came here tonight to ask you why you left. I’m not sure if she has any more questions for you, but I’m going to fill you in on the nineteen years you’ve missed. You left her with a pervert who ignored her until he got drunk enough one night to come into her room and try to touch her. Your daughter is tough, she’s strong, and at twelve-years-old, she broke his nose and ran away. She lived on the streets for a week. She was fucking twelve. My father found her. He took off work to look for her for days. He brought her home, starving and dirty. Do you realize what could’ve happened to her during that week? Probably not, you don’t give a fuck. But I hope she sees now that she would’ve never been happy here. Your wife would’ve treated her like shit, and your sons may have been taught that treating women and people the way you two do is acceptable. I can see they’ve been spared from your hatefulness.”

Roger waves his hands up to cut me off, “That’s enough.”

“No. It’s not. Because you need to know that her mom may have died, and she may have had a piece of shit father, but she still had family who loved her. We don’t share the same blood, but she’s our family. She lived with me and my dad. He worked his ass off to get us a three-bedroom apartment so she could finally have a home. She was so scared to go into foster care that she tried to split her time between four houses. My dad, the only father figure she’s ever had, put a stop to that shit and gave her a home. I was the one who helped her when she got her period. I was the one kept the boys off. I was the one who helped her buy her first bra, and her prom dresses. She graduated high school with all the fucking odds stacked against her, and then she got a full academic ride at NYU. She graduated with a college degree, despite you abandoning her. You missed out on one of the most beautiful souls I’ve ever met. You missed out on her love. You threw away so many moments when she shined so brightly. You missed out on her beautiful smiles and her need to take care of the people she loves. You threw away a love that would have consumed you. You didn’t see her save me, and then help all of our dreams come true. You missed out on the best thing that ever happened to you.”

I look down to find Noely crying and watching me as I tell her father everything he gave away.

“You said your piece, now leave,” the wife orders.

“Bitch, I don’t answer to you,” I tell her.

Then I look down at Noely, “Whatever you want to ask, whatever you want to know, you get to ask it now, Noely baby.”

She never stops looking at me from the moment I laid into her father until now, “No. I got my answer, and I heard everything I needed to hear.”

She tugs at my hand for us to turn and leave.

“Wait,” Nick calls out and then steps onto the steps. “I’m sorry for what they did. I’m sorry. But you’re my sister, and I’d like to maybe call you or hang out or something. You’re my family, and I know they’re assholes, but me and Ant, we’re not them. Will you think about it?”

The poor guy seems nervous.

Noely nods her head and a small smile forms on her face.

I speak to Nick, “I’ll give you my number, and when she’s ready she’ll call.”

He looks at me with an appreciative expression, “Thank you.”

“I’m glad you’re not like them,” I tell him. “You’re going to be a good man.”

“Thank you for taking care of my sister,” he says with tears in his eyes.

“She saved me first,” I tell him and then look down at her to find her looking back at me.

Nick pulls Noely into a hug and I can’t tell who is holding whom the tightest. Ant joins them and wraps his arms around them both.

She breaks away and smiles up at her taller brothers, “I’ll talk to you both soon.”

We walk away hand-in-hand. I take her to my apartment since I’m not going to let her be alone tonight. Luckily, she doesn’t protest. When we enter, she sits on my couch and buries her face in her hands.

“I’ll be right back,” I tell her.

I walk into the bathroom and run her a warm bath, and then add a few candles around the tub. I turn on some Joshua Radin for her, and find a shirt for her to sleep in. Once, I set the shirt and a towel out, I go back to find her in the same place and position I found her in.

I kneel down in front of her and pull her hands from her face.

“You were so strong tonight,” I tell her as I push the hair from her face.

“I cried like a baby,” she scoffs.

“Crying doesn’t make you weak. I’m proud of you for facing him, and while you didn’t find a father or stepmother who give two shits about you, you did find two brothers who seem pretty fucking awesome. They want to know their sister, and that is a win in my book. They stood up to their loser parents, and that is poetic justice. You got a win tonight, Noe.”

She smiles, “Yeah. I guess I did.”

I touch her cheek and wipe tears from her face.

“What you said tonight,” she begins, but I stop her.

“No. Not tonight. Tomorrow maybe. Not tonight. Tonight is about you and mending your heart.”

I lean down and scoop her up from the couch and carry her into the bathroom.

“Johnny,” she whispers when she sees the candles.

“Get undressed and relax for a while. I’ll be here when you get out,” I say and place a kiss on her forehead before I turn to leave.

“You forgot something,” she says with a smile in her voice.

“Damn woman, don’t start being needy now,” I tease and smile at her over my shoulder.

“Tequila and my best friend,” she says and that damn pain hits me dead center in my chest again.

I turn towards her and bow, “Get undressed, and I’ll return with the tequila, Lady King.”

She chuckles and then shoos me out.

Chapter Forty-One

“You good?” I ask before I enter the bathroom.

“I will be when you get your ass and that tequila bottle in here,” she answers.

I slip in and sit down with my back against the tub, keeping my eyes averted from her beautiful body.

I turn my head slightly so I can see her face behind me and hand her the bottle. She takes a swig and hands it back to me. We both relax with the easy music playing in the background. I brought her here so her heart could have a break. I realized tonight how much hurt she’s carried around with her over the years, and it hurts me to know I only added to that. I could’ve manned up over a year ago and told her everything. Maybe I’d be in the tub with her, not sitting on the outside of it. Maybe she’d be between my legs while we soaked in the water and I could rub her shoulders to ease all the tension away.

“I slept in your hallway that night,” I say before I realize I spoke my thoughts out loud.

“Yeah.”

“I said a lot of shit through that door that night. I said shit you needed to hear, but you didn’t. I’d hurt you so you went to bed and shut me out. I don’t blame you. If I were you, I might have done the same thing. The thing is, I said shit that night I’ve held in since. Once I said it, I never really had the chance to say it again so you’d hear me. Fuck, that’s a lie. I never said it again because I’d fucked up so badly that I didn’t think you’d believe me.”

I pause and search for my words.

“Tell me now, Johnny,” she says softly.

I clear my throat and take another pull from the tequila bottle.

“I brought you here tonight and put you in that tub so you could start healing. Hearing what you heard from your father… I know that wasn’t easy for you to hear. Hell, I know it wasn’t easy for you to walk across the street. I guess… I guess I thought I’d help your heart ease up a bit more while we’re in here.”

Her wet hand touches the back of my neck and I realize not being able to see her face right now helps, but her touch reminds me she’s here. She’s finally listening to me. She wants to hear this.

“Johnny,” she whispers.

“I didn’t leave you that night. I’ve never left you. Fuck, my whole goddamn life I’ve been afraid you’d leave me. From the time we were kids, the panic attacks have been always because I was afraid I’d lose you. My mom left me with my dad when I was a kid. My dad did what parents do when I was small and asked if I had a mom. He told me a beautiful story about my mom, and it helped. Right before I met you, I’d grown old enough to realize the fantasy he gave me didn’t quite make sense, and then Reuben Haynes was the one who let the cat out of the bag. He gave me the truth in front of the entire class. You know the story about my mom, so you know I got the real story not long after Reuben told everyone my mom was a whore.”

“I loved watching you beat his ass,” she chuckles.

“I waited for years to do that,” I smirk. “Anyhow, when I met you I was being a little shit with my dad. I wasn’t mad at him, but I was angry as fuck at the world. I met you and that all changed. I saw that bitch put glue in your hair and I took my anger out on her. Then I pulled you into that bathroom and when your lip quivered, I was fucking gone, Noe. You gave me purpose. I had this need to protect you. It was immediate and consuming. I can’t explain it. I don’t really understand it myself. But, I stopped being a shit and started hanging out with you. When you didn’t come to school after your mom died, I had my first panic attack. Dad came and picked me up from school and told me why you were out and I went into panic mode. All I could think was you were going to leave me too. I thought you’d go somewhere else to live. You’d go to another school or move away with family and I’d never see you again.”

I take another swig from the bottle and pass it back to her.

“The next time I had a panic attack was the week you lived on the streets. Every single time I’ve had an attack, it was because I thought I’d lost you. The night… the night we first… slept together. I woke up and you were still asleep. I sat in your chair and watched you sleep and apologized silently to you over and over again because I knew I’d fucked up. I took advantage of you. I didn’t mean to. I’d held that shit in for fifteen years, and it only took one second for all of my control to go out the window. I was looking at what Tony did to you and all I could think was I had to take it all away. I had to show you how much you really mean, how amazing you really are. I shouldn’t have done it that night, but I did. Then I woke up and I was scared to death you’d wake up and hate me, which meant I’d lose you forever. I felt a panic attack coming on, and I didn’t want to wake you so I slipped into your stairwell. I called Rich to calm me down. He came over and talked me into getting out for some fresh air. I went back to his apartment and took a few shots. I was miserable, but the plan was to get my shit together and be at your place when you woke up. I was stupid, I kept drinking, trying to numb the panic that kept creeping up, and I drank myself asleep on a bar stool at his place. Jimmy kindly woke me up the next morning by picking me up off that bar stool and throwing me across the room.”

“What?” she asks with a hint of anger and concern in her voice.

“His phone died, so he picked up mine from the bar to use it. He saw the pictures I’d taken of you that night for proof. He automatically thought I’d done it to you.”

“What the fuck is wrong with that idiot? He knows you’d never put your hands on me,” she says pissed off.

“I tried to explain it wasn’t me, but I wouldn’t tell him anything else. Ryan woke up to the all the drama and Jimmy tossed him the phone. Ryan saw them and looked at me like I’d done it. Rich came in next and freaked out because he knew I was supposed to be there when you woke up and he knew I’d fucked up. He knew we’d slept together but he didn’t know about what Tony did. You asked me to keep it between us and I had intended to, but Jimmy went insane and the anxiety and tequila caught up to me so I was puking. They all came into the bathroom to watch me hurl and demand answers. I begged him to let it go, but you know Jim. He left the bathroom so Rich and I could talk and Rich put the pieces from the night before together. Meanwhile, Jimmy was in the living room calling everyone in Brooklyn to find out who could’ve done that to you. He found out it was Tony before I came out of the bathroom. Noe, I swear I begged him not to do anything. I asked him to get it out of you and get your permission before he laid a hand on Tony. Fuck, Rich even begged him to let it go. We watched and followed him for days to keep him from doing something stupid. I knew you were already pissed because you thought I’d skipped out on you that morning. I didn’t call after that because I wanted to stop Jimmy before I talked to you. I was trying to keep him on a leash and get that squared away so I could come tell you everything. But Jimmy found Tony and we showed up to stop him. Jim showed that asshole the pictures of the shit he’d done to you and all Tony did was smile. I don’t know what happened, but I lost my shit. That smile did me in, and I laid into his ass. Next thing I knew we were all being hauled off of his sorry ass and thrown on the ground and handcuffed. I didn’t go there to fight him, even though I can’t honestly say I didn’t want to kill his ass. I was trying to respect your wishes. The next time I saw you, you were bailing Jimmy out of jail and Leo had leaked the story. Then your name was leaked. It all just got fucked so fast that I couldn’t stop it.”

“Why didn’t Jimmy or the others tell me?” she asks.

“Because I asked them not to.”

“Why would you do that, Johnny?”

“Because you were pissed off at me and I knew I’d probably lost you forever. I wasn’t going to come in between you and Jimmy. I wasn’t going to let you lose him too. I wasn’t going to let you lose the rest of your family.”