Under the Lights (A Brothers of Rock - GONE BY AUTUMN - Novel) (20 page)

“
Tanner
…”

“
You
like it?
”

They were on the roof of The Jack.
Just like the first night they met. The night they had to run away from the
drunk fans who wanted a piece of Tanner.

“
I
wanted to relive that night,
”
Tanner said.
“
That sense of
innocence and attraction.
”

There was a table set up complete
with two plates of food and drinks. Tanner held Jules
’
chair for her and she sat down. She looked up at
him, a smile on her face that Tanner would never forget. He couldn
’
t remember if he even made a
woman smile like this before without playing guitar or rolling around in bed
with them.

He touched her shoulder and then
walked to his seat.

“
We
have a cooler of beer,
”
Tanner said.
“
A bottle of
whiskey. And of course, we have The Jack under us if you need anything special.
”

“
This
is amazing.
”

“
I
’
m sorry the dinner isn
’
t entirely fancy. The Jack can
only do so much.
”

“
No,
it
’
s perfect,
”
Jules said.
“
I like chicken. I
’
ll eat. This view is incredible
…”

“
I
know,
”
Tanner agreed as he
stared at Jules.

“
I
mean, you said this place means a lot to you.
”

“
That
’
s why I
’
m sharing it with you again,
”
Tanner said.
“
I
want this to be part of us. Now, let
’
s
eat so I can get you back to my apartment and really show you what the night is
about.
”

They ate and they drank. The same
security guard that led them to the roof checked on them once to make sure
everything was going to plan.

It was fine. No, great. No, fucking
spectacular.

After eating, Jules finished her
second drink and let out a giggle.

“
What
’
s wrong?
”
Tanner asked.

“
I
think I
’
m feeling good.
”

“
That
’
s what I was hoping you
’
d say. Want to stand at the edge
again with me?
”

“
Yes,
”
Jules said.

Tanner stood and took Jules by the
hand. He walked her to the edge of the roof and they stood there, hand in hand,
Jules resting her head on his shoulder. For Tanner, this was as intimate as he
could imagine being with a woman. It was like he could feel the emotion radiating
from Jules.

When he looked down at her, he saw
her eyes were glistening.

“
Whoa,
”
he whispered.
“
Are you upset, darling?
”

“
Oh,
shit,
”
Jules said. She
swallowed and wiped her eyes.
“
No.
I
’
m okay.
”

Tanner pulled her close.
“
Tell me. You can trust me with
your heart, Jules.
”

“
I
spent a while now trying to convince myself that we were just
…”
Jules had her mouth open,
searching for words.

“
Just
say it,
”
Tanner said.

“
That
we were fucking around. I was an easy target for you. And, of course, how could
I deny you?
”
Jules smiled.
She blinked fast.
“
But it
’
s more. I feel more now.
”

“
Then
I
’
ve done my job,
”
Tanner said.
“
I want you to feel more. Because
I feel more. This
…
this is
more. Face it.
”

“
Oh,
I
’
m facing it.
”

“
Are
you? Tell me why you got upset just now?
”

“
Tanner
…”

“
I
love it when you say my name. Happy, annoyed, or moaning it.
”

Jules smiled.
“
You bring me to the roof of The
Jack and want to know about me. This is insanity.
”

“
Maybe
that
’
s what these feelings
do,
”
Tanner said.
“
Maybe insanity is good.
”

Maybe
…
 maybe
insanity
is
love.

*

Jules sat in a chair, facing the
edge of the building that overlooked the city. The street traffic was almost
soothing, the city
’
s
version of waves to a shore at the beach. Under Jules she could hear the faint
murmur of a band playing in The Jack. None of that came close to the fact that
next to her was Tanner from Gone by Autumn. He looked gorgeous in his
everything
black
outfit. The night enhanced his look and his romantic gestures even
more.

That was one thing Jules promised
herself
…
when the right guy
found the right way to romance her, she would go all in. She didn
’
t want flowers. She didn
’
t want jewelry. She wanted
memories. She wanted that passion. She wanted the look that Tanner was giving
her right now.

I
’
m past falling. I
’
m going all in
…

“
I
have a shoebox under my bed,
”
Jules said. She couldn
’
t
believe her heart was about to open like this.

“
A
shoebox? Of what?
”

“
Letters.
”

“
From
all the boys
’
hearts you
broke?
”

“
Hardly,
”
Jules said.
“
I never
…
well, it just wasn
’
t
that way. I grew up in a small town where everything was kind of designed. I
didn
’
t have much of a
family, and the family I did have wanted me to sing in church and become a
mother and nothing else. The men worked, the women cooked and cleaned, and
everyone pretended to be happy. Except my family was a mess. My father was a
prominent figure in town until he drank himself to death. And before that, my
mother got pregnant by the neighbor. My parents hated each other, but refused
to let their image be tainted. Until fate forced it.
”

“
Wow,
”
Tanner said.
“
I
’
m
sorry about that.
”

“
Yeah,
well, I never connected with my father. He was there but not. And my mother
always had problems. She thrived on problems. Sadly, she lost the baby and that
gave her a new problem. A new excuse to take up what killed my father.
”

“
Drinking?
”

Jules nodded.
“
Yes.
”

“
Christ,
”
Tanner said. He hurried to
stand up.
“
And here I am
with drinks. Jules, I am so sorry. I
’
ll
get rid of all this shit right now. I
’
ll
get us some soda or water
…”

“
No,
”
Jules said.
“
I appreciate it, but no. I
’
m not going to let their
mistakes dictate my life.
”

“
Are
you sure?
”

“
Yeah.
I like to drink when I feel like it. Doesn
’
t
mean I need to dive into a bottle every day to create problems.
”

Tanner shook his head.
“
That might be the bravest thing
I
’
ve ever heard.
”
Tanner slowly sat down.
“
So you left home?
”

“
Yeah.
Coming here really isn
’
t
the gold standard for music. But I got lucky. I found apartment and a roommate,
and then I found a job. I had a friend here that helped me get settled
in."

“
Tara?
”

“
No.
My friend Abigail. Figures a week after I moved here she took a job in London.
”
Jules started to laugh.
“
Good for her though. It was her
dream job. I put an ad out for a roommate on a whim and Tara showed up. And it
just so happened she was a singer in a band that had just broken up, and before
I knew it, she was sleeping on my couch, paying half the bills.
”

“
Perfect.
”

“
Something
like that.
”

“
Tell
me about the letters.
”

“
Just
nonsense from family,
”
Jules said.
“
Begging me to
come back. Telling me that I have family. That I can live out my dream back
home.
”

“
And
you
’
ll never go back?
”

“
I
didn
’
t say that,
”
Jules said.
“
I just have no reason to right
now. I
’
m happy here. It's
not perfect, but I
’
ll
figure out my path.
”

Tanner reached for Jules
’
hand.
“
You
’
re
on a path right now. With me. I promise you, good things will keep coming.
”

“
I
want to earn it.
”

“
You
are earning it, Jules. You've earned my heart. Just by being you. That's why
you deserve whatever is happening for you."

“
Oh
yeah? So tell me your story then.
”

Tanner grinned.
“
Not yet.
”

“
Give
me a hint.
”

He playfully growled at her.
“
Kid learns to play guitar to
stay out of trouble. Finds four other lost kids and they form a band. Fast
forward some years and those five guys are rich and living their dram. And that
kid who learned to play guitar
…
well, he
’
s sitting on the
roof of an old building staring into the most beautiful set of eyes he
’
s ever seen.
”

Jules caught herself leaning toward
Tanner. Their lips met. As Jules let out a breath, her heart began to race
again. She
’
d never told
anyone this stuff.

Tanner was more than a rockstar. He
was a good man. Strong. Gorgeous. Kind.

Tanner broke the kiss.
“
Are we done up here?
”

“
You
tell me,
”
Jules said.
“
You planned the date.
”

“
Then
we
’
re done here,
”
Tanner said.
“
It
’
s
about time you get to spend some time in my apartment with me. Just me.
”

“
No
groupies tonight?
”

“
I
mean I could make a call if you'd like
…”

Jules wrapped her hands around
Tanner and shook her head.
“
I
don
’
t share.
”

“
Neither
do I.
”

“
Bullshit,
Tanner.
”

“
No,
I don
’
t. I can't believe I
am going to admit this, but I was jealous when you pulled a condom out of your
nightstand. It made me think of all the men you had
…
reached into that drawer for.
”

“
Can
I tell you a secret?
”
Jules
whispered.

“
Of
course.
”

“
That
was the first time I had to
reach into that drawer
…”

It was the truth. In fact, it was
Tara who bought the condoms. They were just tucked away in the nightstand in
case someone needed one.

“
I
’
m so turned on,
”
Tanner said.
“
You officially win at this.
”

“
Take
me to your bed.
”

“
The
most romantic thing I
’
ve
ever heard,
”
Tanner said.

He stood up and took Jules by the
hand. They paused for a few seconds as they took in the view so they could lock
the memory away forever.

I
’
ll never be the same again. It
’
s not just Tanner. It
’
s everything. I
’
ll never be the same
…