Under the Sassafras (5 page)

“
Maybe we can read that book together. Now how about one life lesson you learned today?” Joelette asked.

T-Boy turned on his stomach and trailed a stick through the water
. “That's an easy one. Don't let Billy Lee sit by you in the lunch room.”

“
And why is that?”

“
Because every girl in the room passes by your table and giggles and grins real goofy like at him. They think he's some super hero. It's gross.” T-Boy sat up and acted like he was putting his finger down his throat. “I thought I would puke.”

Joelette grabbed T-Boy and gave him a hug
. “Hey, I have a life lesson I want to share with you.”

“
Okay, but can we get a snack first,” he said coming to his feet. “I’m starving.”

“
T-Boy, wait, just a few moments more. I learned something from MaeMae today, you should always be ready to help someone in need, even if you really don’t want to.” Joelette pulled him gently back down beside her. “I took the man we found to see Dr. Adams today. He suggested Mansir; by the way Ozamae gave him that name, should stay and help us for a few days until he remembers something about his life.”

“
You told him no. Right?” T-Boy asked.

“
No,” Joelette pointed to the overgrown field to the left of the house. “You know I need someone to help me clear that field and maybe do some repairs on the house. And he needs a place to stay while he gets better, understand?”

T-Boy jumped up and stomped his foot
. “No! We don't need anyone to help us. You said he wasn't staying, mom. You said.” He swiped at a tear as it rolled down his cheek.

“
Try to understand, baby. He didn’t have anywhere else to go, and he’ll be gone before you know it. You're still my little man,” she said putting her arm around his stiff shoulders. “Now let's go fix you something to eat.”

“
I'm not hungry anymore,” T-Boy said. He pulled away from her and ran back to the house.

She knew he was hiding while he cried
. It seemed no matter what she did it was the wrong thing for him. To give up would result in losing him to the foolish promises he’d made his dad.

###

Joelette walked slowly back to the house and sat on the swing. The kitchen door closed quietly behind MaeMae.

“
Mind if I sit with you awhile?”

Joelette moved over.

“Talk to me,
Cher
. What is wrong?”

“
He’s so angry with me.” Joelette shook her head. “I disappointed him. Again”

“
He's a little boy. The change of weather disappoints him,” MaeMae said. She took Joelette’s hands in hers. “T-Boy is not the problem, is he?”

Joelette looked into her mother-in-law's kind eyes
. “I don’t feel in control. With T-Boy, and now this man, that was dumped into our lives. I don't know exactly, but for some reason that man makes me nervous. When I look into his eyes, I see goodness, but I just don’t trust it.” She released a sigh. “The way he’s already won Ozamae's heart in such a short time. And yours. It scares me.” She thought how that might sound. “I mean I’m not worried about losing my own heart.” She waved her hand. “I know he can't touch mine.” She’d hid it away sometime after she married Otis and had vowed another man would not hold or touch her heart. “I’m just worried about y’all getting hurt.”

“
Cher
, you make me sad. You miss so much not trusting. Not only others but yourself. You shouldn’t close yourself off so much, hide your heart like that.”

Joelette looked down at the soft old hand holding hers and felt the tears fill her eyes
. “I'm afraid I've hidden my heart so well that I might never find it,” she whispered. “Or if I do let someone in, it will break again and I'll never be alright.” Where had that come from? She swiped at the tears, drying her eyes.

Joelette let go of MaeMae's hand and stood, smoothing her pants with shaking hands
. “I'm going to walk to the field and try to sort out things. I won't be long. Thanks for listening, and caring.”

CHAPTER SIX

Someone slammed a door
. Mansir heard MaeMae and T-Boy talking in the kitchen, her voice gentle, his on edge. Mansir sat on the side of the bed. He knew he was the cause of turmoil in Joelette's family, and he had to set things right with her or this would never work. She had to be able to trust him.

Mansir went out the back door in search of Joelette
. He needed this place to recover and maybe she needed him, looking around the house he saw several things that needed to be fixed: the loose boards on the porch, a few spots on the roof, maybe build more cages. He didn’t know if he knew how to do any of those things, but the thought of being useful made him feel better, made him want to try.

She stood under a huge tree at the far end of the yard
. Walking toward her was easy—alleviating some of her concerns would be more difficult.

“
Hi. This must be the famous field you've been talking about.”

Joelette jumped, holding her chest she drew in a quick breath.
“I thought you were resting.”

“
I did rest, but I wanted to talk to you.” He walked closer so he could look her in the eyes. “I can do this, Joelette. I can clear this field and anything else you ask of me. If I don’t know how to do something, I’ll learn.”

She turned her back
, crossed her arms over her chest.

Someone had hurt her. Badly. Part of him wanted to sooth that for her, but that wasn’t his job right now. Now, it was just about the work and reclaiming his memory.
“Joelette, look at me. Your family will not be in jeopardy. I don't know much about myself, but this I know; I'm not harmful. I'm grateful for the chance to prove my worth and you can bet I won't mess up. You have my word, my promise.”

She turned around abruptly, looking him straight in the eyes. Her mossy brown eyes were unwavering.
“I believe you want this to be true.” Her voice softened to a whisper. “But don't make promises.” She went and sat on a large log that lay under the tree and hugged her knees to her.

“
Someone must have done a number on you to destroy your trust.” He sat next to her. “Was it your husband?”

She was quiet for several moments before she spoke again.
“I learned from the beginning, men do not keep promises. My father promised my mother every morning that someday life would be better for her. But every year or two he would get her pregnant.” She wiped the sweat from her brow.

“
Eventually there were seven of us, never enough money, but always plenty of work. She became too tired to enjoy her children. She's resting now, gone before her time.”

“
I’m sorry,” Mansir whispered.

“
Otis was another man with high expectations,” she continued. “He waltzed into my life when I needed an escape. A dark handsome man who gave me a whirlwind courtship with promises of love, protection, home and security. He seemed different he didn’t push me.” She moved her hair off her face, and looked out into the field.

“
So I married him. He turned out to be a man with dreams in his heart and lies on his lips. While he lived, I worked to support us as he left time and time again in search of his dreams, a magic fix around the corner. Now that he's dead, I’m left to support and raise two small boys alone.” She lifted her hair off her neck, secured it in a ponytail and looked up at him. “So much for promises.”

She stood and turned toward the house.
“I need to get dinner on the table.”

Mansir stared at the strong woman
. He wanted to say something, but held his tongue. She was beyond needing words and false promises. What he needed to do was earn this woman's trust.

He caught up with her, looked
at the tree. “Joelette what kind of tree is this?”

She stopped and looked back over her shoulder
. “Why that’s my sassafras tree.”

#

The following morning MaeMae sat at the table drinking her coffee and watched the morning unfold into a routine day.

T-Boy left for school without a 'good morning.' His mouth set in a pout and a deep frown across his brow.

Ozamae dipped his toast in his soft fried eggs and chattered away as Mansir listened to each and every word.

“
Ozamae, I want you to go with me to Mrs. Broussard today. I have three new dresses to deliver and a stop in town for a few things. So let your mouth rest and feed it,” Joelette said as she bustled into the kitchen. “I'll put this package in the truck. Don't forget your shoes and socks when you finish.” She turned around and picked up a piece of bacon, pointing it at Ozamae she continued. “Come on baby, hurry.”

MaeMae turned her head as Joelette flitted around the kitchen
. She knew Mansir made her daughter-in-law uncomfortable. She had prayed for something to heal Joelette's heart, and help her grandsons find someone to look up to. Maybe, just maybe, this broken man would be the answer.  

“
Bye, little heart.” MaeMae hugged Ozamae to her chest so tight he groaned. “Have fun today with your mom. We will be here when you return. Bring us home a story and a smile, but not another injured animal, if you please.”

Mansir waited until Joelette left the room, and started gathering his dishes.
“Need help with these?”

“
Mais
, no. Leave them be. I'll have them done in no time. After my morning smoke. Come pass the time with me on the porch,” MaeMae said.

MaeMae lit her pipe and sat back in her chair
. She glanced at Mansir on the steps, gazing at the bayou. “It's beautiful, isn't it?”

“
This place has a certain raw beauty,” he answered.

MaeMae leaned back in her chair and puffed on her pipe. And watched Mansir as his face revealed his thoughts
. She would give him all the time he needed to search his mind for forgotten words and memories.

Mansir stretched his long legs as he sat on the front porch and leaned back on his elbows
.

“
What does one do without a sense of who he is?”

“
I know I've said this before, but give it time. I don't believe for a minute that you won't regain your memory.”

“
I hope you're right, MaeMae.”

Mansir allowed a grasshopper to land on his shoe, and watched as it rubbed
its legs together.

“
This place is like a sedative. I don't understand the peace I feel even with the turmoil raging inside. I try to concentrate on names and places, I find myself listening to the sounds in the dark. I can't focus.”

Nudging the grasshopper off his foot, he drew his legs up
. “Talk to me, MaeMae. I need to keep my mind from racing, before it drives me crazy.”

MaeMae cleared her throat
. “One thing I know is that you can be at peace wherever you are, if the world's right with you and you are right with the world.”

“
Is the world not right with T-Boy and Joelette?” he asked. “Something's made both of them distrusting and sad.”

“
A little bit of both I think, but they are both still heartsick.”

MaeMae tapped her pipe upside down on the lip of the old Crisco can that sat on the edge of her table
. She coughed to clear her throat. “A Cajun has thick skin. If we can't solve the problem after trying many ways, we take a deep breath and try to make the most of it. Now, I’m not saying we’re not prideful and more than a little stubborn, but mostly we’re flexible. Most of us hide our hurts beneath a smile and a sassy response. But sometimes, oh sometimes that hurt goes almost too deep to breathe.”

MaeMae closed her eyes and sat back, before she repacked her pipe and took another draw.

“Three years ago, T-Boy and his dad, Otis, my boy, were getting ready to go hunting down the bayou. T-Boy could hardly keep his little body still. He'd been up since the crack of dawn. Otis told him to run in the house and put on his rubber boots. I was fixing them a sack lunch. Joelette and Ozamae still slept. We heard a gunshot and T-Boy beat me to Otis. It looked like he’d dropped the gun and it discharged hitting him in the chest. Blood was everywhere.”

Mansir sat up and started to stop MaeMae but she held up her hand, and shook her head.

“T-Boy cradled his dad's head in his small lap, rocking back and forth tears pouring down his small cheeks. Otis gasping for breath opened his eyes and told him to stop crying. 'Stop that crying. Real men never cry,' Otis told him.”

MaeMae took a deep breath to still her shaking insides and put her hand over her heart to keep it in one piece
. Reliving this tragedy took almost all her strength.

“
Please MaeMae, you don't have to tell me anymore.” Mansir said, but MaeMae hushed him.

“
I believe you need to know why Joelette and T-Boy act the way they do, so you can give them patience, let me finish.” MaeMae pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve.

She wiped away tears, and continued
, “T-Boy tried so hard to stop. I'll never forget that little boy as he gulped air trying to hold back the tears that rolled down his face. 'You're the man of the house now son. Promise me you won’t let any man take my place', Otis whispered, and then passed out.”

She rolled the corner of her apron back and forth between her fingers as she talked.
“T-Boy kept repeating ‘I promise, daddy, I promise.’” She shook her head. “Damned fool asking so much of a child.”

  MaeMae closed her eyes for a moment
, and then looked over at Mansir. “Joelette and I carried Otis to the quiet room and worked on him for what seemed like hours, waiting for the ambulance to arrive. One of the hardest things that happened that day was with all my knowledge of healing; I could not save my own son. I guess his time on earth was over.” A heavy sigh escaped from MaeMae's throat. She sat still for a while, took a deep breath and continued.

“
Otis was not a good husband or dad. He tried, but he always searched for the easy way out. He wanted the fastest way to make money, to do work, anyway but the right way. He expected little from himself, but too much from everyone else, including his wife and sons.”

MaeMae stared at the water
. “My mother used to say 'when your child is small, they walk on your feet but when they are grown, they walk on your heart.' This proved true with Otis, but I loved him in spite of his faults. He was my heart, my only child. Joelette is afraid T-Boy will take after his dad and she’s at a loss how to change that path.”

“
You have all been through enough. No wonder T-Boy is such a sad little boy and Joelette so protective. How do you get over something like that?” Mansir asked.

“
Some of us work through things easier than others. You never forget; never are without the pain. You find other ways where you are wanted and needed. And if you're lucky, you find other people to love. Joelette and T-Boy are both struggling. Someday Joelette will fill the hole left in her heart. And T-Boy will find the hero he desperately needs.”

She rubbed her hands together and wiped them on her apron
.

“
My smoke is finished, and I’m expecting Mrs. Savoy, so I better get her tonic together. She says nothing makes her feel better, I know it's the gin she adds. Don't forget no heavy work today. Do you need anything?”

Mansir massaged the knot on his head
. “I hate asking for things I can't supply for myself, but I will pay you back. Do you have an old notebook and pen around that I might have?”

MaeMae
chuckled. “Come with me.” She pulled open a cabinet door in the kitchen that revealed a stack of assorted notebooks, binders, packs of pens, pencils, and crayons. The writing supplies filled two shelves.

“
Will this do? One of my patients owns the Dollar Store and this is how he pays me. He has chronic back pain. Comes in handy for the boys. Help yourself. Anything else?”

He chose a small notebook and a larger one
. Then he picked up a black ballpoint pen. “Thanks. You are full of surprises, MaeMae.” The small notebook he placed in his shirt pocket with the pen. He started to his room with the other notebook. “One more thing. Do you have any tools I might borrow? I can't sit and hope a light will come on in my head and I'll return to normal. Who knows? Maybe I'm a carpenter.”

“
Mais Non
, from the look of your hands, you were never a laborer. You, my friend worked behind a desk. As far as the tools help yourself, my husband owned one of everything I think. They are in the shed along with scrap wood. Don’t over do.”