Undercover in High Heels (8 page)

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Authors: Gemma Halliday

Tags: #General, #cozy mystery, #Women Sleuths, #Weddings - Planning, #Women fashion designers, #Mystery & Detective

BOOK: Undercover in High Heels
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Apparently I wasn’t the only one in need of an afternoon pick-me-up. As I approached the Craft service table, I spied Ricky pouring himself a steaming cup of coffee.

“Want some?” he asked, the carafe hovering over a fresh paper cup.

I nodded. “Please.”

I tried not to stare at the play of muscles beneath his too-tight T-shirt as he poured me a cup—
tried
being the key word here. Holy cow, the guy was built. And, I had to admit, up close he was even hotter than on TV. I touched a hand to the corner of my mouth to make sure I wasn’t drooling as I accepted the cup Ricky handed to me.

“Wild day yesterday, huh?” he said.

“Very. I’m so sorry about Veronika. Did you know her well?”

Ricky shrugged, then got kind of a sad look in his baby blues. “We went out a couple of times when she first started working on the show.”

I felt my internal radar pick up. “Really?What happened?”

Ricky shrugged again. “Nothin’ much. We saw a movie out in West Hills, near where she lives. But, you know, we just didn’t really hit it off.”

Despite my earlier decision to leave it alone, I couldn’t help asking, “How about Mia? Do you know if she’s seeing anyone?”

Ricky shrugged. “I dunno.” Then he paused, his eyebrows puckering together. “Why?”

“It’s possible the killer mistook Veronika for Mia, ” I said slowly, watching his reaction. “She was in Mia’s trailer, after all.”

Ricky’s eyes went big, his mouth dropping open. “Wow. Heavy.” He paused, churning this bit of info over in his head. “Well, I don’t know if Mia’s with anyone now, but a while back she was dating Blake.”

I took a sip of my coffee to cover my surprise. Nervous Blake was the last person I’d expect a control freak like Mia to be attracted to. “Really? Any idea why she stopped seeing him?”

Ricky shook his head. “Nope. But I know that it was right before Blake checked himself into the hospital. And when he came back, Mia had convinced the producers to put him in a coma.”

“The coma was Mia’s idea?”

“That’s what Blake told me. He was kind of ticked off because it’s cut his screen time in half.”

Iiiiinteresting. I sipped my coffee again, wondering if being in a coma were enough motive to want Mia out of the picture. I’ll admit, I had a hard time picturing the shaky Blake actually strangling a woman without having a panic attack, but stranger things have happened.

A PA with a headset glued to his ear ducked his head around the corner. “Maddie?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re wanted back in wardrobe.”

Great, what now? I had a terrible vision of Margo bargaining to put the Crocs back on again. “Be right there.”

I gulped down the rest of my coffee, praying that it was just a loose seam. Of course, the fact that I haven’t been to Mass since my Irish Catholic grand-
mother dragged me to the midnight all-you-can-pray Christmas Eve service was probably why God ignored this request. Instead, I could almost hear him giggling at his own private joke as I walked through the door of the wardrobe room to find two uniformed officers going through the racks as a guy in a rumpled suit with a gun bulge at his hip looked on.

And, in the corner, arms crossed over his chest, Bad Cop face firmly in place, Ramirez.

I made a mental note to go to Mass more often.

Taking a deep breath, I did a little one-finger wave in his direction.

No reaction. Oh boy.

“Miss Springer, would you please have a seat?” The guy with the gun bulge indicated a folding chair beside him. He had graying hair and a face that looked like it had been left out on the Venice boardwalk during a heat wave—tan, wrinkled, and in serious need of some moisturizer.

I sat down, giving a tentative glance to Ramirez. Still no reaction.

“I’m Detective Rodgers, ” Prune Face said. “I’d like to ask you some questions about the events of the last few days.”

I nodded, gulping down a dry lump.

“Where were you between midnight and 3:00 A.M. the night of the thirteenth?”

The night Veronika had been killed. That lump grew, and I nervously cleared my throat.

“We have to ask all the cast and crew, ” Rodgers reassured me, a fatherly smile parting his wrinkles. Though I watched enough
Law & Order
to wonder whether it was sincere.

“So, you think the killer
was
someone on the set?” I asked.

Ramirez narrowed his eyes at me, his jaw doing that jutting, granite thing again.

“Please, just answer the question, Miss Springer, ” Rodgers said.

I gulped. “Right.”

“Where were you on the night of the thirteenth?”

“Sleeping.”

“Alone?”

I glanced at Ramirez. “Very alone.”

He pretended not to notice.

“Can anyone verify this?”

Wait, what did he mean,
verify
? “Am I a suspect here?”

“Please just answer the question.”

I turned to Ramirez. “You can’t possibly think I’m a suspect here.”

“Maddie, ” he warned, his voice tightly restrained.

“Like I said, we’re asking everyone, ” Rodgers repeated.

“Then why are they going through the clothes?” I asked, gesturing to the uniforms.

“The nylons came from the wardrobe room, ” Ramirez said.

Rodgers shot him a look that clearly said, “Ix-nay on the info-ay to the uspect-say.”

“Well, anyone could have walked in and taken them. The room’s not locked during the day.”

“What about at night?” Rodgers asked, flipping open a notebook and jotting something down.

“Yes, it’s locked. But I don’t even have a key!” I sputtered. “I’m just the assistant.”

“Who does?”

I paused. “Dusty.”

The detective exchanged a glance with Ramirez.

“But she wouldn’t do this!” I protested.

“How well do you know Dusty?”

“Semi-well, ” I hedged.

Another glance exchange.

“But I’m telling you, she wouldn’t do this. She’s my college roommate’s best friend’s cousin! Plus, her best friend’s ex-boyfriend’s mother plays canasta with the producer’s aunt!”

Rodgers gave me a blank look. “Isn’t it true that she and Mia had an altercation yesterday? Over the color of her shirt?”

I leaned forward. “So, you think Mia
was
the target?”

“Just answer the question!” Rodgers had dropped the fatherly tone, doing a full-on exasperated-cop thing now—a routine that, thanks to Ramirez, I was all too familiar with.

“Mia has altercations with lots of people. Just now she had one with Margo, Ricky,
and
Steinman.”

“I’m only interested in the one she had with Dusty the day Veronika was killed. Did Mia threaten Dusty’s job?”

I bit my lip. “Um, I’m not really…I mean…”

“Well?”

I looked to Ramirez for help. Nothing. It was starting to piss me off that he was just standing there, letting this guy grill his almost-girlfriend.

Clearly I was on my own here.

I crossed my arms and puffed out my chest as far as it would go (which, sadly, wasn’t very far). “I don’t
think I want to answer any more questions without an attorney present.”

Ramirez lifted one eyebrow, then muttered, “Jesus, ” under his breath.

Rodgers gave me a hard stare and flipped his notebook shut with an audible thud. “Fine. We’ll be in touch.”

“So I can go?”

He nodded. Then to Ramirez, “Escort her back to the set.”

“I don’t need an escort.”

Ramirez stood up and grabbed my arm. Hard. “Oh, yes, you do, ” he said under his breath.

Ramirez steered me out the door and down the hallway. “This is police brutality, ” I hissed as his grip on my arm tightened. He opened a door and pulled me into an empty storage room. Then he spun me around with enough force that I feared whiplash.

“Ow!”

“What the hell was that in there?” he asked, his dark eyes blazing.

I froze. I’d never seen him like this before. Sure, I’d seen him exasperated, frustrated, even a little peeved with me at times. But this was different. This was downright angry. There was no hint of humor glinting behind the fire in his eyes. This time he was serious.

I bit my lip to stave off the unpleasant emotion bubbling up inside me. If I had to put a name to it, I’d say it was somewhere between anxiety and all-out dread.

“You just don’t get it, do you, Maddie?” he continued. “This is a
homicide
investigation. And that was a
homicide
detective. This guy isn’t playing around.”

“But you’re a homicide detective, too, ” I squeaked out.

Again his eyes blazed, only this time I could see the exhaustion of the past week creeping into them. “No, I
used
to be a homicide detective. Now I’m a glorified security guard.”

“Thanks to me, right?” I finished for him. The dread was bubbling up so far it was stinging the backs of my eyes now.

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“Jesus, Maddie.” Ramirez ran a hand through his hair. “Why didn’t you just tell Rodgers what you knew? Then you could have gotten the hell out of here.”

“They think Dusty did it!”

“Yeah, and now he thinks
you’re
covering for her. Does the word
accomplice
mean anything to you?”

Does the word
girlfriend
mean anything to you?
I longed to retort back. But I was suddenly too afraid of the answer. Instead, I let out a feeble, “Dusty’s innocent.”

“Maybe.”

I shook my head. “No, you don’t know Dusty.”

“Do you?”

I bit my lip. “Maybe not. But why would she do this?”

“What about the argument she had with Mia?”

I shook my head again. “Dusty wouldn’t kill over that. Besides, Dusty must have known Mia was right. With her coloring, she really is a Spring.”

Ramirez narrowed his eyes at me. “That’s it? You believe her because some woman is a season?” He shook his head. “Jesus, Maddie, I don’t get you.”

“No, you don’t, ” I said, realizing just how true that was. Damn. The stinging was getting worse. Another minute of this and my mascara would be toast. “Look, Dusty’s my friend, and I know she’s innocent. And if you or your law-and-order posse have any more questions for me, you can ask them through my lawyer.”

I turned and tried to stalk out of the room, making a really dramatic exit. But the stinging behind my eyes had morphed into tears that were suddenly blurring my vision. I kind of stumbled instead, half running, half tripping down the hall and out the back exit onto the lot. I blindly ran through the Sunset city, not caring where I was going, just wanting to get away. Away from the accusations, away from the chaos of the set, and, most of all, away from the man who, instead of comforting me, was interrogating me!

Sure, Ramirez and I had had our ups and downs in the past. But this felt different. This felt like only downs. Where were our ups? Were we ever going to have one again? Not likely, the way things were going. Maybe Ramirez had been right all along—maybe we just weren’t relationship material. I’d known from the beginning that Ramirez was a cop first. But somehow in the back of my mind I’d always hoped that he’d wake up one day and realize how much he wanted to put
me
first.

Clearly today wasn’t that day.

I finally ran out of breath and sat down at a bus stop somewhere in New York. “Somewhere” being the key word here. As I wiped at my damp cheeks, I realized I had no idea where I was.

The fake city was eerily creepy in the fading dusk, the setting sun creating shadow across the New York
skyline. I did a few unladylike hiccups, getting myself under control as I got up and walked down the street, half expecting a mugger to jump out of the dirty alleyway, even though I knew the dirt had been spray painted on by set dressers and the only rats on the lot were the agents.

But between the talk of murderous letter writers and even more murderous murderers, the empty buildings seemed to take on an ominous feeling.

And then I heard it. The sound that made my heart start pumping double-time.

Footsteps.

I paused, freezing in the middle of a street lined with brownstones (or, at least, brownstone facades). The footsteps continued for a beat, then stopped, too.

Okay, so maybe it was just a set dresser getting New York ready for that cop show tomorrow. Maybe it was a cleaning crew. Maybe it was an actor trying to soak up some of the East Coast atmosphere.

Maybe it was a homicidal maniac who strangled women in their trailers with panty hose.

I started walking again, briskly, in the direction of the set. Only, with the adrenaline-fueled fear pumping through my veins, I wasn’t sure which direction the set was.

I quickened my pace, almost jogging now as I rounded the corner and found myself suddenly on a tavern-lined street in Boston. The footsteps followed me, speeding up as mine did. I glanced behind my shoulder and let out a squeak. A figure loomed in the shadows just a few yards behind me. Clearly my imagination did not produce that. Frantically I tried the door to O’Shays Pub. Of course it didn’t open because,
duh, it was freaking painted on. Nothing here was real!

Nothing, that was, except the murderer chasing me.

I was running now, trying not to trip over my feet as I heard the footsteps growing closer. I didn’t dare look back for fear he’d be right on top of me. I rounded another corner, onto a San Francisco street lined with Victorians, and started jogging uphill.

I could hear him closing in, his breath coming fast, as if he weren’t any fonder of San Francisco terrain than I was. I reached into my purse, grasping for anything that might be used as a weapon. Lipstick, tampon, change…pepper spray! I said a silent thank-you to my overly protective (though, in hindsight, genius) mother as my fingers curled around the canister. I felt around for the little button to push, still tripping uphill. I found it.

Just as I felt a hand clamp down on my shoulder.

Chapter 7

More out of instinct than anything else, I let out a bloodcurdling scream as I whipped around and shot the contents of the spray canister blindly at my attacker.

“Son of a…!” My attacker staggered backward, clawing at his eyes. “What the bloody hell did you do that for, Maddie!”

I blinked, the adrenaline slowly receding from my limbs as I took in the rumpled khaki pants, sneakers, and slept-in white button-down. Felix.

“Oh crap!” I dropped the canister on the ground. “Oh holy crap. I’m so sorry, Felix. Oh crap, are you okay?”

“No, I’m not bloody okay!” He was still rubbing at his eyes, his entire face turning redder than a Malibu sunburn victim. “What the hell was that?”

“Pepper spray.”

He dropped his hands, his eyes tearing as he stared at me. “Pepper spray? You bloody shot me with pepper spray?”

I felt myself blush. “Sorry. But in my defense, you did kind of sneak up on me.”

“I did no such thing. I was trying to catch up to you. You’re bloody fast in flats. Dammit, this stuff stings.”

“Water. We need to rinse it with water.” I led Felix, who was pretty much blind now, thanks to my blonde moment, through the streets until we found a drinking fountain in the Golden Gate Park that actually worked (as opposed to the three we passed that were just for decoration). I helped Felix splash water on his eyes, between his “bloody this” and “bloody that” curses.

Finally he stopped tearing and swearing, his eyes only marginally puffy. Okay, so he looked like a bee-sting victim in some slapstick-comedy movie, but since he didn’t have a mirror, he didn’t need to know that.

“Bloody hell, you’re a menace, girl.”

“Hey, I resent that. Besides, what do you mean, chasing girls like that? What was I supposed to think? There’s a killer on the loose, you know.”

“And you’re going to defend yourself against him with cayenne pepper?”

I put my hands on my hips. “Worked, didn’t it?”

He gave me a death look.

“So, what did you want anyway?”

“I wanted to see how your coworker Dusty was faring.”

I narrowed my eyes. “You mean you wanted to see if you could get an interview with her.”

He grinned. “You know me so well.”

I shook my head. “Uh-uh. No way, pal. Dusty’s not talking to anyone, least of all a sleazy tabloid.”

“Aw, come on. Throw me a little something. I’ve got to have some sort of follow-up to print in tomor-row’s edition.”

“How did you even get on the lot?” I asked.

Felix smiled. “I’ve got the golden ticket.” He pulled a laminated card out from his shirt pocket. “Press pass. It just so happens that the
Informer
’s editor in chief plays golf with the head of Sunset Studios. Thanks to the fact that the chief throws every game, I’ve got carte blanche on the lot.”

I scoffed. “Am I supposed to be impressed by that?”

“No, but here’s something that might get your attention: the coroner’s report.”

“On Veronika?”

He nodded.

Damn. He was right: I was all ears now.

“Okay, I’ll bite. What was in the coroner’s report?”

Felix clucked his tongue and shook his head. “Nah, uh-uh. Not until you give me something first.”

“Forget it. I’m not giving you any dirt.”

Felix shrugged. “Okay, then I’ll just keep Veronika’s condition to myself.”

I pursed my lips. Dammit. He knew my weakness. What condition? I was dying here. “How did you get a copy of the coroner’s report? That gold ticket get you into the morgue, too?”

Felix shook his head. “No. My excellent computing skills got me into the morgue. Or, more accurately, their database.”

“You hacked into the LAPD database?” I’ll admit, my tone was horrified, but inside I was actually a little impressed. The last time we’d worked together, Felix
had proven himself competent at a variety of lock picking, a skill he still hadn’t totally explained. Now he was a computer hacker, too. Part of me was thinking I should be worried about this guy, but mostly I was wishing I had skills like those, too.

Of course, here was Felix offering to let me reap the rewards of said skills.

I did an angel-shoulder, devil-shoulder thing for about two seconds before I finally gave in.

“Okay, fine. I’ll give you a gossip tidbit you can run tomorrow. But cough up the report first. What condition?”

Felix gave a satisfied crooked smile. “She was pregnant.”

“No way!”

“Way. About three months.”

“Any idea who the father is?” Talk about life imitating art.

Felix shook his head. “Not yet. I’m sure the police are currently swabbing any male she’s come in contact with lately. I’ll let you know when anything pops across my screen.”

I chewed at my Raspberry Perfection lip gloss as I digested this bit of information. Maybe we’d been too quick to judge. Maybe Mia hadn’t been the target after all, but Veronika. She wouldn’t be the first mother-to-be who had broken baby news to a less than enthusiastic father.

“Hey, you all right?” Felix asked.

“What?”

He reached out a hand and wiped a finger down my cheek. “Looks like you’ve been crying.” He cocked his head to the side. “You all right?”

I sniffed hard, trying not to dwell on the irony that the most tender touch I’d had in days just came from a tabloid reporter. “I’m fine. Men just suck.”

Felix raised one eyebrow. “Tiff with the boyfriend?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Felix’s face broke into his charming grin (which actually was a bit comical with his eyes still swollen). “Definite tiff with the boyfriend. And, I’d venture to say, a big one.”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it!”

His grin widened. “Okay, fine. How about we talk about the juicy bit o’ gossip you’re going to lay on me?”

“Okay.” I cleared my throat. “Deveroux Strong is gay.”

Felix scoffed. “Oh, hell, I know that. Everyone knows that. That’s not news.”

I shrugged. “Sorry, it’s all I’ve got.”

Felix glared at me. “That’s it, then? I give you ‘Veronika’s pregnant’ and all you can give me is stale gaydar?”

“Better luck next time.” I waved and walked off in the direction (I hoped!—wow, was this place a maze) of stage 6G.

To the tune of Felix muttering, “Bloody hell, ” behind me. He really should learn to watch his language.

By the time I got back to the set, Steinman was just calling it a wrap. I grabbed my things and slogged out to my Jeep. As I pulled up in front of my apartment, I could hear the sounds of Mrs. Alvarez watching
Wheel of Fortune
, and my stomach was rumbling. I parked in the drive and carried my purse up the wooden stairs, mentally debating the merits of pizza delivery versus Chinese again.

I was having visions of chicken chow mein when my cell chimed from my purse. I fumbled with my keys at the front door as I balanced the phone between my ear and shoulder.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me!” Mom shouted.

I resisted the urge to jerk away from the receiver. “You don’t have to yell, Mom.”

“I’m on a cell!” she screamed.

I rolled my eyes.

“Listen, I’m sorry I’m late. There was traffic on the 101. But we’ll be there in a couple of minutes.”

I froze. “Um, you’ll be
here
?”

Mom did her patented “where did I go wrong?” sigh. “You forgot?”

“No, of course not.”
Oh, hell. What now?

“Connor’s gift. For his birthday party?”

“Right!” Mental forehead smack. “Oh, wow, um, you know what? It’s been a really long day and I totally trust you, so, you know, maybe you could just pick something up for me?”

“Don’t worry, I’m already on my way.”

“Mom, really, I’m beat and I—”

“Just a minute, we’ll be right there.”

“Seriously, I’m so not in a toddler toy place right now and—Wait, who’s
we
?”

Too late. I looked up to see Mom’s gold Dodge minivan pull up in front of my apartment. Mom waved her cell at me from the driver’s seat. I could see Mrs. Rosenblatt’s muumuu-clad outline in the back. And then the passenger-side door burst open and my cousin Molly waddled out. Waddled because, yet again, she was pregnant.

Molly had popped out four munchkins in the last
four years and was the apple of my Irish Catholic grandmother’s eye. There’s nothing an Irish Catholic family loves more than a girl who gets married young and makes babies like a bunny. Don’t get me wrong; I loved Molly. She just made my ovaries hurt sometimes.

“Mads!” she said, attacking me with air kisses.

“Hi, Molly, ” I mumbled, navigating a hug around her swollen belly.

“I’m so glad you’re coming to the party. Connor is really looking forward to seeing you again.”

Yeah, I’ll just bet. He was probably planning his attack on my Cavalli pumps as we spoke.

“Ready for Toys ’R’ Us?” Molly asked, her eyes twinkling.

I think my ovaries groaned.

Half an hour later I was in the preschool aisle of toy hell, surrounded by noisy, three-foot-high people with runny noses and sticky hands, pretending to shoot me with little red plastic laser guns.

“I don’t see it, ” Molly said, scanning the shelves. “Where’s Chicken Dance Elmo?”

A kid with freckles and pigtails made little
pow, pow
sounds at me and stuck out her tongue.

I resisted the urge to respond in kind (just barely).

“How about this one?” Mom pulled a furry red monster off the shelf. She squeezed its tummy and it told her she was special.

“No, no, that’s Self-esteem Elmo. I need the Chicken Dance one. Connor wants the Chicken Dance one.” Molly shoved packages aside on the shelf, digging in the back.

Considering that Connor’s entire vocabulary consisted
of drool and spit bubbles, I seriously doubted he could tell one monster from another.

“This guy’s kinda cute, ” Mrs. R said, grabbing a furry blue Grover doll. “Kind of reminds me of my last husband, Luther.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Luther was all gangly arms and legs, ” Mrs. R explained. “Real tall, never quite looked like he knew what to do with his body. That is, until we got in the bedroom, if ya know what I mean.” Mrs. Rosenblatt waggled her drawn-on eyebrows up and down.

Muppets and sex, two topics that should never collide. Trying not to envision Mrs. R in bed with a six-foot-tall furry blue monster, I pulled a puzzle off the shelf. “Here, this looks cute. I’ll just get this.”

Molly whipped around. “What’s the age range?”

“Uh…” I scanned the box.

“In the corner.” Molly pointed. Then she shook her head. “It says ages eighteen months to two years. It’ll be too hard. Plus, the pieces are too little. Connor could choke on one. You have to read the age ranges, Maddie.”

“Oh. Okay.” I put the puzzle back, then grabbed a plastic truck. “How about this?”

Molly shook her head. “No, we’re allowing only gender-neutral toys into the house. Experts say that social imprinting begins at a very early age, and male-and female-nonspecific toys present them with the best chance for gender-role socialization in a nonthreatening and nurturing environment before they conceptualize gender constancy and their culturally determined roles.”

O-kay. I put the truck back.

“I think this guy’s kind of cute. You sure Connor wouldn’t like him?” Mom squeezed Self-esteem Elmo again.

“Be proud of your uniqueness, ” it told her.

“You know, it’s been ages since I saw Luther, ” Mrs. R said, putting Grover back on the shelf. “Last time was right after we signed the divorce papers. We bumped into each other at the Hometown Buffet. Then ended up back at my place for dessert.” She did another eyebrow waggle. “If ya know what I mean. I tell ya, for a skinny guy, that man could really eat.”

I sincerely hoped she was talking about the pound cake.

“Where is it? The online ad said that Chicken Dance Elmo was ten percent off this week. If they advertise it, they should have it. I need that doll!”

Mom squeezed Self-esteem Elmo again. “Elmo loves you just the way you are.”

“How about this guy?” Mrs. R held up another red monster, this one in a pair of shiny silver pants. She pushed the Try Me button on his hand and he began to gyrate to a hip-hop version of “Old Mac Donald Had a Farm.”

“No, that’s Bust-a-Move Elmo. He’s last year’s model. We need the new one. Connor wants Chicken Dance Elmo!” Molly pushed past the freckle-faced girl with the gun, frantically rummaging through the stuffed toys.

“You know, Luther wasn’t much of a dancer. Unless, of course, you count the horizontal mambo. Man, that guy could mambo all night. He had this huge—”

“How about this?” I asked, quickly grabbing a
teddy bear from the shelf, lest the freckle-faced kid get an anatomy lesson right here in the Elmo aisle.

Molly turned around, then blinked her blue eyes at me. “Seriously? Ohmigod, Maddie what are you trying to do to the kid?”

Uh, give him a teddy bear?

Molly grabbed the bear from my hand. “The eyes are made of buttons. Connor could easily pop them off and choke on one.
Parenting Today
magazine says all safe animals should have embroidered features. And the bow around his neck is secured with an elastic cord, which could get wrapped around Connor’s throat. And look at the tag! The stuffing isn’t hypoallergenic—poor Connor could have a reaction to it—and the fur isn’t even pretreated with fire retardant or Teflon. And to top it all off, it’s made in China, probably by children not much older than Connor in a sweatshop. What kind of message would we be sending him by allowing him to play with this? It should be illegal even to sell safety hazards like this.” Molly’s nostrils flared, and her eyes had a scary Jack Nicholson look to them.

I slowly put the cuddly death trap back on the shelf, seriously contemplating a gift certificate.

“I still like this guy.” Mom squeezed her Elmo.

“You deserve respect and love, ” he squeaked back.

“We’re not getting that one!” Molly turned her attention back to the shelves, knocking boxes off onto the floor now in her search. “All the other kids at Mommy and Me have Chicken Dance Elmo. Connor needs Chicken Dance Elmo. What will the other mothers think if I can’t find Chicken Dance Elmo!”

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