Underestimated Too (32 page)

‘Ouch, son of a bitch,’ I yelled, running into the
side of my desk. I had to get to her before she turned it on. I knew what kind
of dom/sub stories were on that e-reader. I didn’t think she was quite ready
for that yet. Luckily the batteries were dead and she hadn’t had time to get it
plugged in yet before I got to her.

I played it off, telling her she shouldn’t read yet.
Dr. Tharp didn’t want that much eye movement yet. He really did say that, sort
of.” Drew turned and told me matter of factly.

 I didn’t respond, only smiled.  

“Morgan reminded me, ‘I spent two hours reading in
the library yesterday.’

‘Yeah, but you don’t have the bright light behind
the words in a book,’ I said, making it up as I went along, made sense to me.   

‘Did you come up here to tell me I can’t read on that?
How did you know I had it?’

‘No, I came to see if you wanted to go for a walk.’
I laughed at the absurdity of my excuse.

That’s where I made my move. We kissed, standing
under the black sky. I’d never kissed Morgan like that. I mean I have, but I
fought it every time. I didn’t allow the feelings to surface. I did this time,
feeling something burning deep in my chest. I knew I was playing with fire and
needed to get a grasp on things. She could still be playing me for a fool and I
was falling for it, or her—hard.”

That made me smile, I liked thinking about Drew
falling in love with me.

“Morgan saw something that night. I took her back to
my room and fought with every demon in me. I wanted to do things. I wanted to
order her to her knees, bend her over my lap, and shove my dick forcefully in
her ass.”

I shook my head at my no filter husband.

 “I couldn’t keep the true Drew at bay. It was
killing me to hold back. I romanced her as much as I could, got her naked, and
told her to spread her legs. Nothing looked more beautiful than Morgan across
my bed, exposing her glistening glorious pussy for me. She was timid, but I
didn’t give her time to back out. I kept in constant contact with her not
letting her pull back.”

Oh, my god, Drew.

“I rasped with an excruciating hard-on and a tone
that I didn’t mean to let slip, ‘You want to come, Morgan?’ I jumped back,
startled when Morgan jumped up, seeing something or having a flashback or
something.

‘Did you hit me, Drew?’

‘What? No, why would you ask that?’

‘I don’t know. I just, I..it’s..I don’t know, Drew.
I have to go. I can’t do this,’ Morgan ended our foreplay.”

I lost myself, briefly, thinking about what Drew was
saying. That was the first night I started seeing flashes of my life. They were
never anything more than a flash, a quick image of certain things from my past,
mostly Drew. I always analyzed them, willing myself to remember something,
anything.

“I watched Morgan gather her clothes and storm out
of my room. Unable to stop her for whatever reason, I reached for my laptop.
She ran her fingers through her hair and groaned frustrated, closing her door
behind her. Shaking her head, she climbed into bed, hit the bed on both sides
of her body, and grumbled again. I sat straight up, witnessing her move her
hand under the covers. She was masturbating. What the hell?”

And there goes the filter again.
I
remembered that night too. I wanted him to stop. I didn’t like that night.

Drew relayed his side of that night, “I demanded her
to stop, standing right by her bed. She never even heard me come in. She was
close to coming. Morgan looked up to me with wide eyes. I was fighting the
worst of my demons. I tried so hard to make it about her, make love to her and
be in the moment with her. I lost. I started with one finger in her ass, and
she let me. Did she want it? I didn’t think so, but I couldn’t stop.

I wasn’t easy on her at all. I didn’t make it about
anyone but me. I fucked her up the ass, let her come, gathered my clothes, and
left her trembling and scared. I’d done that a thousand times over the years,
never did it hit me like this did. Why was I having such a hard time leaving
her like that? I hurt her, not all the times before. I mean right now. Right
that moment, I hurt her. I just used her and left her alone and scared.

I spent the better part of the next day alone in my
office. I never let her out of my sight, wondering more than once what she was
thinking about. She tried to read, but kept dropping her book, lost in thought.
Marta made her coffee and a sandwich that she barely touched. I had to get a
hold of myself. This couldn’t be happening. What the hell had I done?

Morgan helped with the unwanted feelings at dinner
with Mr. Callaway. She defied me more than once, and when I told her it was
time to go, and she made the decision to sit down beside Mr. Callaway, deciding
that we were staying for desert, I flipped. Anger began to pour out of my skin,
and I was ready to put a stop to her little charade.”

Screw you, buddy.

“Yelling at me in the car, she asked, ‘What the hell
is wrong with you?’

‘What’s wrong? What’s wrong? You just embarrassed
the hell out of me in there, and you want to know what is wrong?’

‘And how the hell do you think I did that? You
shouldn’t have lied and said I didn’t feel well. Have I always let you talk for
me and decide what I wanted?’

‘Yeah, Morgan you did and when you didn’t listen,
you would be punished once we were home. Maybe I need to show you how we do
things around here,’ I threatened.

That scared her, and her tough act was halted, but
only briefly.

“FUCK YOU!”

 ‘You need to stop. I’m warning you, Morgan. You
don’t want to do this.’ I didn’t mean to grab her hair. I just lost it. I
couldn’t control it.

‘Take your hands off me!’ she demanded through
gritted teeth.

I waited until Morgan was in the shower and replaced
her pain meds with the ones that Dr. Tharp had given me in emergency cases
only. She was only to take one of them if she couldn’t bare the pain. She took
two of the ones from the bottle on her nightstand, and not every night. I
wasn’t even sure she’d take it.

I watched her climb into her bed and roll over, not
taking a pill. She didn’t touch them. She tossed and turned for over an hour
before finally giving up and dry swallowing the two little pills. I was a little
nervous when I went to her. Maybe two was too much. She was out of it. Really
out of it.

I did everything I’d ever done to Morgan that night,
everything I longed to do since she came back to me contriving amnesia. I was a
morbid son of a bitch. Morgan had no clue what was going on. I fucked her in
every position her limp body would allow, and once I’d finished pumping in and
out of her ass, I removed the condom and shot my load in her mouth, rubbing my
come about her lips, just like old times.”

This part didn’t shock me. Drew and I had talked
about this before, and he confessed to doing that to me. I wondered though what
Deidra was thinking about all this. Surely she’d never heard anything like this
before.

“Morgan took me by surprise again the next day. She
took my hand and apologized for the night before. I was stunned. I didn’t know
how to respond. I twisted her comatose body and fucked her in every imaginable
way and she was apologizing. She shocked the hell out of me again when she
stormed into my office later in the afternoon, demanding Derik to leave us
alone. He pissed me off the way he talked to her and looked down on her, and
then had to go run his mouth in front of her.

‘You’re fucking up. I’m telling you, Drew, you’re
giving her too much leeway. You need to reel her back in before she blows it
all.’

‘Shut the hell up, Derik. I don’t need you to tell
me how to control my wife.’

‘You just gave her your fucking keys. She’s playing
you. She’s not the dumb little girl we thought. She managed to embezzle over
eighty thousand dollars and disappear for almost two years. You really think
she’s not doing the same thing now? She’s setting you up. Just because she came
back the last time doesn’t mean she’s going to keep coming back. Marta is
probably helping her.’

‘Marta’s not with her. She went alone.’

‘You fucking let her leave alone? What the fuck is
wrong with you? You’re not the only one who has something to lose here, Drew.
I’ve devoted almost ten years of my life for this money too. You’re not fucking
this up for me,’ Derik yelled. It wasn’t the first time he’d jumped down my
throat for letting her have the ball in her court. He mentioned it a few times
over the past few weeks.

‘Actually, DERIK!
You
work for
me
.
You’re my piss-ant assistant. You do what I tell you to do. I don’t do what you
tell me to do, and I sure as hell don’t need you to tell me how to control my
wife. You got that? That’s the last time you’re ever going to mention Morgan.
Are we clear here?’ I twisted my fists at my side.

‘Whatever, dude. You go ahead and learn the hard
way, but don’t be pissed off at me when I say I told you so.’

‘Get out of here. Go downtown and wait for Mr.
Carlos.’

I waited and waited for her return. She’d been gone
for almost two hours. I was beginning to panic. She ran. I was such a fool. I
let her run again. I decided to call her.

‘Hello,’ she answered her phone in a whisper. I
smiled. She wouldn’t have answered if she’d run.

‘Why are you whispering?’ I whispered too.

‘I’m in the library.’

‘Come home. We were going to buy you a dress,
remember?’

‘Okay, sorry. I got into this really good book. Have
you ever read The Morning by Onslow Warrior?’

‘No, and that’s not a real name.’

‘Yes, it is. It’s really, really good. I don’t want
to put it down.’

‘Can you check it out and maybe read it later at
home?’

‘Yes, I’m coming, but I’m a little afraid of
stairwells right now.’

‘Let me guess, it’s another one of those horror
books?’

‘Yes, he only kills girls in stairwells.’

‘There are no stairwells in that library.’

“Yeah, well there are steps.’

‘Come home.’ I laughed, at her silliness.  

If someone would have told me I was going to fall in
love with Morgan, I would have called them crazy. I was so in love with Morgan,
with this Morgan, the Morgan that ran around in shorts and short shirts, the
Morgan that told Derik off every chance she got. This Morgan barged into my
office, fell asleep on my chaise lounge while I worked, and believe it or not
wanted me to spank her and do all the dirty little things that I loved doing.”

Nice, Drew.

“I did ridiculous crazy things for her. I was
wearing jeans, sneakers, going to baseball games, and sleeping with her in my
bed. I drank beer in a sports bar and ate messy barbeque, which I loved by the
way. I swam in our pool with her. I hadn’t been in that pool since I was a boy.
Men didn’t do that, Michael told me so, and like a dumb boy I believed him.

I moved her to my room after a couple months of her
being home. I needed her to feel safe and stop with the nightmares. It broke my
heart to see her wake like that, scared and alone. I hoped that her being out
of that room where the nightmares originated would help. I guess it did to a
certain degree, but she still had them, and I wanted to be right there to hold
her and talk her down from them.

My new mission in life became only her, making her
happy and praying like hell that she never remembered. I needed her to know
this Drew, and how much he loved her. I never wanted her to remember again. I
loved her.

‘Stop that,’ she ordered, crawling into my lap and
closing the work I had in front of me.

‘I’m going to start working in the office downtown,’
I threatened, although I was loving it on the inside. She didn’t want me to
work. She wanted my attention.

‘I’m bored. It’s after five, you always work.’

‘I work so you can live like this,’ I reminded her,
running my hand up her bare legs.

‘I don’t need this. Give me a beach and some sea
glass and I’d be just as happy,’ Morgan said.”

“You remember that,
Morgan?” Drew asked, turning my way, but continued without my response. “She
froze. I froze. She was remembering something.

 ‘Why did I say that, Drew?’

‘I don’t know, Morgan. I guess you were seeing
something.’

‘Telling the truth is easier to remember,’ Morgan
countered.”

I smiled, remembering that day. That was a good day.
My Grandma Joyce always told me that. I knew Drew was lying that day. He didn’t
want me to remember.

“I smiled up at her without a reply. I didn’t know
what to say. I wasn’t lying though. I didn’t know when she’d ever been to a
beach. Was that where she was during her time she was away from me?

‘You can work, I’ll read or something,’ she offered,
removing herself from my lap. I held onto her, picking up on the mood change.
She sounded sad and distant.