Underestimated Too (39 page)

‘Yes, she’s visiting her mother. Can you—’

‘Yes, yes. Don’t worry about a thing. I’ve got
things here. Go take care of what you need to.’

‘I’ll be back tomorrow. Double check the lunch
reservation with Sturgeon, I’ll meet you there when I get back.’

‘Drew, I can take care of Sturgeon. You can be with
your family.’

‘I’m fine. Just do what needs to be done here. I’ll
see you tomorrow.’

***

I was nervous as hell to come face to face with
Morgan’s mother. I hadn’t been the most pleasant son in-law the first time I
met her. Actually, I was downright nasty to her. She’d probably throw me out of
her house. What did Morgan tell her? Did she know that Morgan had been living
in Maine, that she was in an accident, worse of all, had she told her about our
first six years of marriage?

‘Hello, um, I really need to speak with Morgan,’ I
anxiously requested, shifting from foot to foot at the door. Amanda didn’t look
like she had ten years before. She was very attractive, not what I remembered
at all. She crossed her arms and leaned against the threshold not inviting me
in.

‘I’m not sure I should let you see her.’

‘Her grandfather passed,’ I blurted out. I didn’t
know what else to say. The first time I’d met her, she was scum on the bottom
of my shoe and now I was the one intimidated.

‘I’m not sure who should be doing the judging here,’
Amanda stated.

‘Excuse me?’ Shit. Morgan told her. She knew
everything.

‘I’m not sure why my daughter would stray from a man
of your fortunate looks, had she been given what she needed at home.’

‘Okay, I’ll give you that, but you’re right. I’m not
sure who should be the judge here either. From my recollection, you didn’t earn
mother of the year with her.’

Amanda pouted her lips and nodded. ‘I guess you’re
right. Let’s let god be the judge. She’s out in the shed.’

Jesus, was I ever in love with my wife. Seeing her
playing and laughing with her little sister gave me a warm feeling that I’d
never had before. I’d never had a family any more than Morgan had. She was in
love with me too, I could tell as soon as she turned to see me. And having her
throw herself in my arms was heart melting. She felt amazing, like she
belonged. She did belong. She belonged right here with me.

***

I really hoped her brother Justin would be at the
funeral. I could tell she was looking around for him. He never showed, not that
I was all that surprised, Callaway wasn’t the most liked man in Vegas.

I was going to do everything I could do to keep
Morgan right here in Vegas with me. She belonged with me. She didn’t belong in
Maine with that cheating ass.”

‘You cheated too, Drew,’ I reminded him. I liked
being on the phone and not in front of him. I felt like I could say more
without his eyes being on me.

 “Yes, I know. I did it, but not after I fell in
love with you. I did it when I was young and pissed that I was being forced to
marry you, and I thought I loved Skyler. I never loved Skyler, not like I love
you, Morgan. And if you want me to get technical about it I can. You did it
too. You cheated on me as much as I cheated on you.”

“Really, Drew? You’re going to play that card? I
hated you, I left you, I wasn’t with you anymore, and I don’t feel as though I
cheated on you at all.”

“You think that’s how it was, Morgan? You don’t
think the nine fucking months that I spent waiting, trying to let you make your
own choice wasn’t cheating? You fucked us both for practically your whole
pregnancy.”

“How do you think that what you did was any
different from what Drew did?” Deidra asked. Was she really going to take his
side?

“You have no idea what went on in this house for six
years. You have no right to judge me for anything,” I yelled getting angry.
Yes. I liked the phone barrier that we now had.

“I don’t know because every time I ask you to talk,
you shuffle it over to Drew. You don’t want to talk, and I can’t make you. Do I
think Drew has issues? Hell yeah I do, but so do you.”

“My issues stem from Drew,” I argued. Was she really
going to jump on his bandwagon? How dare she. We were friends. We had drinks
together.

“I’m sure you have issues from Drew, but I don’t
think they all came from him. I think you had abandonment issues long before
Drew. I think they emanate from early on in your childhood, starting with your
grandmother Joyce.”

“You know nothing about my grandmother.”

“I know you told me she was the only one who ever
cared, the only one who was ever there for you, and I know she was the first
person that left you that cared about you.”

“I cared about my mother and brother.”

“I didn’t say who
you
cared about. I said who
cared about
you
. You’re mother left you to tend to an infant while she
was out drinking.”

“She has nothing to do with Drew and me. We’ve
mended our fences.”

“Morgan, you don’t have to get defensive with me.
I’m not saying that the relationship you have with your mother now is not amazing.
I’m saying that you too have buried issues that you’re not willing to let go
of. Like your part in leading two men on while you were pregnant.”

“That is not how it was. That was all Drew’s fault.
I was doing just fine staying away from him. He’s the one that wouldn’t leave
me alone long enough to figure things out.”

“Morgan, you’re not seeing things from how they
really went down,” Drew debated.

“Yes, I am. You’re not seeing things from how they
really were. I never called you. You always called me.”

“And when I didn’t, you gave me hell. Did you really
think I was going to lie down and let you be with that cheating slime ball? You
wouldn’t let me lay down. You didn’t have to jump on a plane and go every time
I told you to, but you did. You came to me, fucked me like no one else, and
told me that you loved me, many times. Remember that, Morgan?”

Well, hell.

“You think I wasn’t going off the deep end, thinking
about that lowlife being in bed with you? I made myself sick, thinking about
him kissing all over you and then hopping next door.”

“So this is something that you harbor ill feelings
towards Morgan over?” Deidra asked.

“Fuck yes, I do. She kept us both on a string until
she knew who fathered Nicholas.”

“And what if Nicholas would have belonged to Dawson,
would you have left her alone then?”

“Probably not,” Drew replied in a defeated tone.

“You were willing to raise another man’s child just
to have Morgan?”

“Yes. I would do anything to keep Morgan. I didn’t
care about what blood ran through Nicholas’s veins. He’s mine. He’ll always be
mine.”

“Nobody’s taking Nicky from you, Drew,” I said
through the phone. I would never be one of those mothers who put their child in
the middle. Nicky loved his daddy, anybody could see that.

“Nobody is taking you either, Morgan.”

I didn’t reply to that. I had nothing to say about
it at the time.

“Okay, we’re going to wrap this up, Morgan. I’ll see
you next week, okay?” Deidra asked, questioning my presence the next week.

“Yes, I’ll be there. I’ll see you at home, Drew,” I
said before hanging up.

I hesitated when I heard Deidra ruffle around, like
she was standing or something. She didn’t hang up the call.

“Not so fast, Drew,” I listened. “Why isn’t Morgan
here?”

“I told you. She’s sick. She didn’t feel like coming
today.”

“Hmmm, interesting.”

“What?”

“Every other time you’ve hit her neither of you show
up.”

“I didn’t hit her,” Drew lied.

“Do you not hit her often?” Deidra continued.

“I never mean to hit her, and I feel like a piece of
shit when I do.”

“But you can’t control it because you need to have
all the control over her, right?”

“No, I wouldn’t say that.”

I would.

“I have something I call a five rule that I use for
women in Morgan’s situation. Do you want to answer my five rules for her?”

“Sure, I would know what she’d say.”

Yeah, sure you would.
I suddenly wished I could talk after hearing the questions being asked to Drew.
I couldn’t. I didn’t know if I was still on speakerphone or not.

“One—do you control her friends, when and where she
is allowed to go?”

“To a certain point. I mean, I let her hang out with
Alicia. I don’t condone her going to bars with her therapist.”

“But you do say when and where she goes,” Deidra
stated, not asking. “Two—do you control the finances?”

“Of course I do. Morgan knows nothing about that
stuff. She has a credit card, if she wants something, she buys it.”

That part was true. I was always careful of what I
bought though, knowing I would have to explain it when I got home.

“Three—do you control her social media, check her
phone, her messages, stuff like that?”

“Morgan hands me her phone. I don’t demand it.”

“Hmhmm.”

Liar.

“Four—do you control the way she looks, tell her
what to wear?”

“That one is a definite, no. I did pre-accident and
tried like hell after, but she refuses to dress up around the house.”

“And you like that, or you would be controlling that
too,” Deidra once again stated, knowing it to be fact. “Five—do you control
when and what goes on in the bedroom? Do you feel that she has womanly duties?”

“I don’t know. Yes, I think she has womanly duties.
I take care of everything else, the least she can do is make sure I’m satisfied
in the bedroom. I let her tell me what she wants though.”

He was such a liar. Yes, Drew loved it when I told
him to go down on me, did he do it? Yes, on his terms when he was ready.

“What do you think about coming in without Morgan?
Maybe start working on some of your control issues.”

“I don’t think that is our problem at all,” Drew
stated.

Of course he didn’t.

“Drew, the first step is admittance. You have to
accept and admit that you have a problem. This may be the hardest step for you,
and I think that’s why we might want to do this without Morgan for a bit. You
don’t think of yourself as physically violent, but you are. I see it, and I
have a feeling your wife is at home with a battered face right now, unable to
go out in public.”

“You don’t understand our relationship.”

“And you think Morgan does? You think she wants you
to hit her?”

“I wonder sometimes. I mean, Morgan is the only one
that can push every button I have. She knows when she’s crossing the line. She
knows what the outcome will be, and yet she still does it.”

“And you think it’s your job to draw that line for
her? Who are you to tell another human being where the line is? You think
you’re higher and mightier than most?”

“Fuck you. You don’t know shit.”

“Oh, I think I know more than what you’re willing to
give me credit for. I can’t help you, Drew, unless you’re willing to help
yourself. Do you think Morgan isn’t going to get tired of living under your
rules, or having consequences if she crosses your line? Are you willing to take
that chance, of her giving up?”

“She wouldn’t give up. She knows me. She knows I
love her more than life. I don’t need anyone but her and my son.”

“And she knows that you’re always going to keep her
at a level just below you. Let’s wrap it up. Give me a call if you want to
schedule something private.”

“I don’t,” I heard Drew say, and then the door
slammed.

I hung up, taking a deep breath. Drew may not have
gotten anything from their one-on-one, but I did. Deidra was right. I had two
choices. I could keep on loving this Drew, and never hold him accountable for
his actions, or I could move on. Would Drew ever even let me move on? I doubted
it, not without a fight, but how much could he really fight? I had the money,
and I knew that Walker would help me with anything that I needed. Mr. Callaway
assured me of that long ago. Walker was more interested in my wellbeing than
Drew’s. I was sure of that.

It was the following Tuesday before I finally got
out of the house. Marta knew, she’d been with me for a long time now. She knew
I wasn’t sick, but surprisingly she only gave me a pitiful smile, letting me
know how dumb I was. She never mentioned my sudden illness that kept me
upstairs unless she was out of the house. I smiled back, confirming her
suspicions.

Drew and I never talked about the divided therapy,
not that we ever did, but I thought maybe he would say something about how I
defended Dawson. He didn’t, and I didn’t mention it either. He never gave me a
time to be back, asked where I was going, or what I was going for when I told
him I was meeting Alicia for lunch. Maybe that was a good sign and maybe it
wasn’t. I don’t know, it just felt strained between us for whatever reason. I
mean, nothing had really changed, and I doubted that Deidra’s twenty minutes of
one-on-one fazed him. Drew didn’t really work off of guilt or blame.