Undermind: Nine Stories (13 page)

“Has he been under considerable strain or
experienced any unusually stressful events lately?”

“No. Not that I know of. My father has always
been perfectly sane – saner than most people, in fact. He doesn’t
even allow people with “drama issues” as he calls it, into his
life. He’s a very calm, peaceful and happy man.” Lisa was aware
that she was speaking in a present tense way that didn’t describe
her father in present time.

“I’d like to have you fill out a complete family
history to help us as much as possible with a diagnosis and
treatment plan. Will you do that?”

“Right now? I’d like to see him first. Can I
please see my dad?” she asked, her voice trembling at the end of
her sentence. Of all the people she could have ever imagined losing
their minds, she never would have thought it possible for her dad
to do so.

“Yes. That might be a good idea. How about you
spend some time with him, then come back and fill out some
paperwork for me? Sound good?”

“Yes. Thank you.” She stood up and smoothed out
imaginary wrinkles on her Levi’s.

The doctor came around his desk and walked out
into the main hall of the institution. Lisa followed, glancing
around at everyone and everything. She hated being here and she
hated it even more that her father was here. As they walked through
the open recreational area and then down an empty hallway, Lisa
kept expecting to see someone acting totally crazy which would add
to her feeling that her father didn’t belong here and that this
wasn’t happening; couldn’t be happening. The doctor eventually
stopped a few feet from an open doorway.

“This is your father’s room. Don’t be surprised
if he continues to be unaware of your presence. Remember, that’s
how this started, so if he doesn’t respond to you, nothing has
changed, and he hasn’t gotten worse. It just means the medication
we’re giving him isn’t aiding him in seeing the real world yet. But
we’ll make progress with him soon, I’m sure.”

“Okay,” Lisa replied. Her mouth had gone dry.
She’d already seen how her father was at his house and yet the
thought that she was going to once again see him acting strange,
acting crazy really, terrified her. This wasn’t right.

“I’ll send someone for you in five minutes.
Okay?”

Lisa nodded. The doctor smiled and quietly left
her alone to enter the room on her own. She approached the doorway
and looked inside. Her father was lying on his back with his eyes
open and a pleasant smile on his face.

“Daddy?”

The smile on his face widened. Lisa’s heart
skipped a beat. He’s responding to me, she thought.

“Thank god!” he said.

“You’re back! Oh, Daddy! You had me worried to
death.” She rushed into the room, relief flooding through her and
bringing tears of joy to her eyes.

“I can’t wait to get started, but I have to say,
I’m not looking forward to coming back. I hope I get a long break
this time. This could be a really beautiful planet if it wasn’t for
the god damned people!” he said, and burst out in joyous
laughter.

Lisa froze, standing right next to his bed and
looking down at him, realizing he wasn’t talking to her. He hadn’t
said, “Thank god” because she was there to see him, or perhaps take
him home. He was still talking to someone in his head. She sensed
her knees unlocking and turned what would’ve been a collapse into
an abrupt act of sitting, holding on to the bed as she suddenly sat
on the floor beside it. She took one of her father’s hands and held
it in both of hers. She cried now without restraint.

“Please come back, Daddy. Please, please. I need
you. Oh god!” She dropped her head onto the bed cover and cried
into it.

Her father didn’t react to his hand being taken
away from where it had rested on his stomach atop his other hand,
nor did he seem aware that Lisa was crying out to him. She lifted
her head and looked at him. Her makeup was streaked and smeared on
her face and on the bed.

“Daddy, please wake up. I’ll take care of you. I
promise. Just wake up and let me take you home.” She put her hands
on his chest and shook him as if she merely needed to wake him up
from a deep slumber where he was talking in his sleep.

“Can we go now? I’m quite ready to leave,” he
said.

Again Lisa’s heart jumped in her chest. Did she
wake him? Was that all he needed – someone to shake him out of a
crazy sleep?

“Yes, Daddy. We can go. I don’t care what the
doctor says. They can’t keep you here. I’m taking you home.”

“There’s just one more thing I need to do.
Before I leave, I need to say goodbye to my daughter. She’s the
only person I’ll miss.” His smile faded as he spoke this, but the
bright clarity was still there in his eyes, hinting at the deep
serenity of a man who knew peace in his heart and had no doubts
about who he was or what his future held.

“Oh god!” Lisa didn’t know what to think
anymore. She felt like she was losing her mind too.

“You’ll wait for me? Okay. I’ll be just a
minute, Kiera.”

Allen turned to Lisa and his eyes opened wide
and a smile lit up his face as he saw her.

“Lisa, honey!” He reached out to her and she
fell onto the bed, embracing him and crying on his shoulder.

“Daddy! You’re back!” she cried.

“I never left, sweetheart, but I’m about to
leave. I just couldn’t go without saying goodbye to you first. I
didn’t expect it to be so easy though. I thought I’d have to drive
to your house. But here you are. This is perfect.”

“We have to get you home. I can’t stand seeing
you in here.”

Allen looked around at his surroundings for the
first time and was amused to see that he wasn’t in his room at home
as he had assumed he was when he “awoke.” He laughed as he realized
he’d been away for a while. He understood where he was without
asking. It made sense – as far as other people would be concerned.
They didn’t know what he knew, or who he’d been talking to.

“I’m sorry, Lisa honey. I must’ve frightened
you. I assure you I’m just fine. But I can’t go with you. I’m going
home now. You’ll find papers in my office that finalize all of my
affairs and leave everything I have to you.”

“I don’t understand… what are you saying?”

“I also left you my journal. It will explain
everything, but you can probably figure it out without reading it.
You know me, sweetheart. I just wanted to hold you one last time
and tell you that I love you. You enriched my life by being you.
Thank you. I love you, dear.”

Lisa hated hearing what her father was saying,
but even still, something inside her calmed and she felt at ease.
She didn’t know why she was feeling okay with the terrible things
her father was saying. Part of her was aware that everything was
okay; that this was a good thing that was happening. A great thing,
actually. But she wanted to deny that knowledge and dramatize the
loss of her father. She didn’t want him to go. But she knew he
would. He had waited a long time for this day.

“I love you too, Daddy; more than anything.”

Her dad looked into her eyes and she felt his
love and his energy. He had guided her through her life and made
her love living and learning and becoming the best person she could
be. She looked into his eyes and sent her love back to him.

“I’ll always be with you, Lisa, in one way or
another. You know that. But for now, it’s time for me to go.”

She nodded and smiled, looking at him through
bittersweet tears. She kissed her father one last time and
said,

“Goodbye, Daddy.”

“Goodbye, sweetheart.” He leaned back against
the headboard, closing his physical eyes and re-opening his inner
eyes.

He saw Kiera standing next the bed, smiling and
patiently waiting for him. He could not see Lisa anymore, but he
saw her energy in the space she occupied. He smiled at Kiera in
gratitude for her being there. She was always there. He just hadn’t
known it all the time. He wished she had made her presence known
more often and more obviously.

Kiera reached for Allen’s hands. She took hold
of them and gently pulled him toward her. He came forward out of
his body and moved close to her. She released one of his hands, but
held on to the other as she began walking, leading him out through
the wall, across the flowerbed, over the grass and into the
beyond.

It had been a long time since they’d been
together like this.

A whole lifetime.

###

April 19
^th
, 2042.

Acting on a credible, anonymous tip, the
officers kicked in the door of the small cottage. A standard poodle
barked and rushed them. Officer Karnes aimed and fired. The first
shot missed and he fired again as the dog squatted and leaped at
him. The second shot sent the dog sailing backwards. It hit the
ground and toppled over, coming to rest on its side, whining and
panting as its blood pooled in the white carpet.

“Freeze!” yelled the other officer, pointing his
gun at an old woman who emerged from a doorway, holding one hand
over her heart.

“What are you doing? Why did you shoot my
baby?”

“Put your hands against the wall,” he
commanded.

“But I don’t—“

“Now!”

Both officers rushed into the hall. One of them
slammed the lady against the wall, kicked her legs apart and
frisked her, while the other checked the room she had come out of.
It was bathroom, and it was empty. He then moved down the short
hall to another door. He put his ear against it and listened.

“This is the police. Come out with your hands
up, or I’m coming in, shooting.” He took a few steps away from the
door, placing his back against the hallway wall and aiming his gun
at the door.

Karnes cuffed the lady then swept his one foot
at the back of her calves while pushing her backwards with a hand
on her chest. She landed on her back and cried out in pain.

“Shut it, scumbag. Don’t make me stomp on your
face.” He pulled his gun out of its holster and pointed it at the
door that Wilson was still aiming at. Karnes nodded and Wilson
raised a foot and slammed it against the door next to the doorknob.
The thin, hollow door crashed open and both officers rushed in.

A black cat lying on the bedcover hissed at
them. Wilson shot it and rushed over to the master bath door. He
stopped and slowly peeked his head around the doorjamb. It was
empty.

“Clear!” he called out.

“I’m gonna check the kitchen. Drag the bitch
into the living room and find out where she’s hiding it.” Karnes
left the room and stepped around the woman who was breathing
rapidly and stifling sobs, arching her back to keep from pressing
down on her cuffed hands.

Her legs were sticking out into the hall and
rather than step over them, Karnes kicked them out of his way.
Wilson came out and grabbed the lady by her feet and dragged her
down the hall into the living room. He let go of her when her face
was adjacent to her dead dog.

“Where is it?”

“Oh, my dear Pooksie! What have they done to
you?” The woman broke out in fresh sobs as she stared at the dead
brown eyes of her beloved pet staring back at her.

“I’m not fucking around, scumbag. Where are you
hiding it?”

“What are you talking about? I have no idea
what’s going on. Why did you kill Pooksie?”

“We know you’re holding, so the sooner you
cooperate, the better things will go for you in court. Don’t make
it worse for yourself by acting stupid and playing innocent.”

He walked over to a shelf beside the couch and
swept an array of collectible glass figurines to the floor. The
small animals fell to the carpet with a series of thumps. It was
less dramatic than he had hoped for so he pulled the shelf forward,
causing everything to slide to the carpet and causing the shelf to
crash into the coffee table, shattering the glass top. That was
better.

“Where is it?!” he demanded to know.

The sound of crashing objects from the kitchen
echoed into the living room. Wilson was ransacking the
cabinets.

“Got it!” he yelled.

“You’re lucky. I was just starting to get pissed
off. The D.A. will be informed of your failure to cooperate. You’re
going down, bitch.”

Wilson entered the living room hefting a
zip-lock baggie with a granular, dark brown substance. It was damp
and left residue on the baggie as he shifted it around.

“Dregs. Probably half a pound. Recently used.
She’s probably high on it right now.”

Karnes looked down at her in disgust and saw the
guilt in her eyes as she looked away.

“I hope it was worth the rest of your life.
Enjoy it while it lasts.”

***

Later, under questioning, the perp talked. The
cops offered her a good word with the D.A. and a reduced sentence
for cooperation if she’d reveal her source. At 64, she didn’t want
to spend her remaining time in prison and agreed to tell them where
she’d got the dregs. What she revealed was better than they had
expected. They usually had to work their way up a distribution
chain until they reached a big dealer. But Phyllis was
well-connected, getting her fix from a major dealer with whom she’d
played Bridge for years.

The next morning found Karnes and Wilson
participating in a multi-agency raid. It would’ve just been a
D.E.A. team, but since the two Vice detectives provided the intel,
the feds reluctantly permitted them to accompany the raid team. But
they wouldn’t be first-in. The feds reserved the right to any
action coming through the door.

The sun crept up over the horizon as men in
black took up positions all around a beige two-story house. The
loudest sound around came from birds in nearby trees. The suspect’s
house sat at the end of a cul-de-sac. The other end of the street
was blocked off with police sawhorses with crime scene tape strung
between them. Two officers stood with their backs to the suspect’s
house, watching for any neighbors who might emerge to see what was
going on.