Undertaking Love (33 page)

‘So. Do you come here often?’ Over the years, Jonny had come to realise that sometimes the old lines were the best.

Love God took a long drag on his cigarette. ‘I’m a nurse, so you could say that.’

Jonny blew out an elegant plume of smoke. ‘What kind of a nurse smokes?’

‘A lonely one.’

Jonny cast his eyes to the skies and wondered if Santa had just dropped his Christmas present off right here in the smoking shelter.

He grinned and shuffled closer. ‘Well, as it happens, I’ve been feeling a little under the weather myself lately …’

Emily gathered her sleepy son into her arms and nuzzled her face against his to breathe in his delicious new baby scent.

Yes, baby, I’m going to love you forever.

She settled herself onto the deep window ledge to give him his first ever glimpse of the outside world. ‘It’s snowing.’ She whispered against his forehead. ‘You’ll love this when you’re a big boy. Your crazy daddy’s already talking about buying a sledge.’ She smiled at the image of them all in bobble hats and wellies in years to come.

Down below, she spotted Tom slip-sliding his way across the car park with the camera clutched in his hands. She lifted her hand to tap the glass, but her knuckles stilled as another figure emerged out into the splash of light that spilled from the foyer.

Dan.

They were the only two people out there, and on a direct collision course. They couldn’t miss each other if they tried.

She watched in agony as Tom lifted his head. Dan’s steps slowed, his hands still bunched up in his jean pockets. ‘Keep walking Tom, please keep walking.’ Emily whispered, and the baby snuffled into her neck, content against her shoulder.

Tom stopped walking.

It was like watching a silent movie. She could see the serious, guarded look on Tom’s face as he spoke. Dan looked away for a few seconds, and then in slow motion, pulled his hand out of his pocket and held it out towards Tom. She saw Tom falter as he tried to decide how to play it. She didn’t need to hear their conversation to know what was going on inside his head at that moment.

In every way that mattered this was Tom’s child, and her heart ached with love as he reached out and accepted Dan’s hand. They lingered for a moment longer before Dan touched his fingers against his forehead in silent salute and disappeared into the darkness.

Emily stroked the baby’s velvet-soft head as she waited for Tom to come back upstairs, humbled beyond words by his love, and his strength.

He’d changed today, too. He was a father.

Marla followed Gabe into a deserted private room and perched on the slippery edge of a hard hospital mattress. The room smelled strongly of turps, and paint-splattered ladders were leaning against the wall, but at least they were alone. She badly wished that she was wearing something a little less cleavage revealing than the Biba dress, and that the snow hadn’t turned her hair into a wild bird’s nest.

Gabe, in contrast, looked lethal.

In theory, it should have been far easier to be around him now that she’d finally admitted to herself that she loved him. She could just fall into his arms and confess all. Job done.

So why did she feel suddenly as awkward as a tongue-tied schoolgirl?

She’d been desperate to see him for weeks, and now that he was in the same room she could barely meet his eyes, let alone profess her undying love or swoon in the hope that he’d catch her.

It didn’t help that he looked so brooding and dangerous.

If he were auditioning for Heathcliff, he’d win the role hands down.

Romeo? Not so much.

‘Nice dress.’

Marla instinctively glanced down at the low neckline to make sure she hadn’t had a Janet Jackson style wardrobe malfunction.

She knew it was her turn to speak, but it felt a little pre-emptive for ‘I love you’.

‘Thank you for driving Emily here.’

Gabe nodded and reverted back to brooding silence.

Okay. Small talk wasn’t going to work, but then in fairness he’d made that clear once this evening already.

‘So … why were you at the chapel, Gabe?’

‘I was looking for you.’

‘You were?’

He nodded. ‘I never said goodbye.’

Marla’s heart spluttered. No, no, no. Don’t say it now.

‘And I have something for you.’

He reached into his pocket and placed a white gift box with red ribbons on the bed next to Marla, and then glanced at his watch.

‘It’s five to midnight. You can open it in five minutes.’

Marla swallowed. So she had five little minutes to convince him to stay forever.

‘I have a gift for you, too.’ She licked her lips.

‘Really?’ He stepped closer, a wary flare of hope in his eyes.

She nodded. ‘Yup. You can have it in six minutes.’

Well, that should convince him to stay an extra minute, at least.

‘So what shall we do to pass the time?’ she asked.

She was completely into this game now. She had nothing to lose except him, and she wasn’t about to let that happen twice in her lifetime.

A small smile curved the corners of his mouth, and the guarded expression in his eyes cleared; he became as easy to read as A.B.C.

Or L.U.S.T, as seemed to be the case.

‘Witch.’ His hands found her waist and tugged her onto her feet.

‘Can I cast a spell over you to make to make you stay this time?’ she whispered.

His mouth was so close that she could have touched his lips with the tip of her tongue, but he didn’t kiss her. His beautiful eyes were full of questions.

‘Am I reading this wrong, Marla? Will you go back to hating me again tomorrow?’

‘I could never hate you.’ Her fingers curled around the neckline of his leather jacket in case he tried to move his warmth away from her.

‘You did a very good impression of it for a long time.’

‘I’m sorry. I was an idiot.’

Gabe nodded.

‘You’re not supposed to agree.’

He looked at his watch.

‘Thirty seconds.’

She closed her eyes as he reached out and held her face in his hands, his breath mingled with hers. Thank God. Her stomach twisted with pleasure in anticipation of his kiss.

Frustration spiked through her as his lips touched her forehead instead, before moving down to brush her closed eyelids. Her lips begged to be kissed, but it was her cheekbone that received his attentions next.

‘Fifteen seconds,’ he murmured as his tongue touched her ear, and the erotic impact made her swoon against him. He laughed softly and sank his teeth into her earlobe.

‘Ten.’

Butterfly kisses along her jaw.

This has to be it. Please, please, please … she parted her lips, but he turned her face to kiss her other ear.

‘Five.’

Her temple.

‘Four.’

Her other temple.

‘Three.’

The little space between her eyebrows.

‘Two.’

The tip of her nose.

I’m going to die if one is not my mouth.

Actually, physically, die, and then all this build up will have been for nothing.

‘One.’

The warmth of his mouth covered hers, the briefest slide of his tongue against hers for a few blissful, all too fleeting seconds.

‘Merry Christmas, Marla.’

Jonny stuck his head around the nearest doorway and was surprised to find a rather young and swarthy Santa with his trousers around his ankles, and a nurse on her knees personally delivering his Christmas gift.

‘Looks like the kids will have to wait a little longer for their presents this year,’ Jonny tittered, and grabbed Love God’s hand.

‘Let’s try somewhere else.’

‘In here,’ Love God hissed. ‘It’s been painted today so it’ll be empty.’

Jonny pushed the door open to find Marla and Gabe so close together that you couldn’t slide a sheet of paper between them.

He grinned and quietly clicked the door. He shook his head. ‘Occupied.’

Love God groaned and nodded towards a door at the far end of the corridor.

‘There’s always the cleaners’ cupboard?’

‘Sounds like a good place to get dirty.’ Jonny grinned and flung open the door. They both yelped in shock at the sight of Cecilia and dishy doctor Robert engaged in a passionate snog.

Jonny slammed the door shut and leaned on it. ‘For the love of God!’ he howled. ‘Could all of the straight people get out of the fucking closets, please? Gay men coming through!’

Love God laughed and pressed Jonny up against the door.

‘Looks like there’s no room at the inn.’

Jonny decided privacy was overrated anyway as Love God slipped his arms around him and copped a feel of his satin-clad bum cheeks.

‘You can open your present now.’

Marla picked up the small box, chewing her lip as she pulled on the red spotted ribbon. It was heavy for a little box. Gabe had already proved himself a thoughtful gift-giver with the picnic extravaganza, so she had no idea what to expect. An ivory box nestled inside the outer wrapping paper.

‘It’s like pass the parcel.’

Her fingers shook as she flicked open the top of the box and peeped inside. It looked like glass, but she couldn’t tell from the top. Something cool and heavy fell into her hand as she tipped the box carefully upside down.

She gasped softly at the beautiful little snow globe; a tiny red and white striped lighthouse peeped through the swirl of snowflakes as they settled.

Gabe reached out and stroked a strand of Marla’s hair. ‘It reminded me of you.’

Oh, he was too good at this stuff. Ivan’s words at Dora’s funeral had been one of the most moving things she’d ever heard. Gabe had clearly been similarly touched.

‘What can I say? It’s perfect.’

Gabe’s suddenly serious eyes searched her face.

‘Is it?’

Tears prickled behind her eyelids, and she placed the snow globe slowly back into its box and set it down on the mattress next to her.

‘That day in the chapel, when I said I didn’t love you...’ she faltered, but she forced herself on because she could tell that he was holding his breath. She didn’t want him keeling over now that she was finally ready to admit her feelings.

‘I was wrong, but it took you leaving for me to see it. And by then it was too late, because you’d gone and I couldn’t tell you.’

He picked her hands up and bumped his thumbs over her knuckles.

‘I hated every minute of not being near you.’

She pulled him close.

‘Then come back. Rebuild the funeral parlour. We’ll find a way to make it work.’ Her voice cracked with the effort of not crying. ‘Just come home. Please?’

He shook his head, and fear speared her heart. He wasn’t coming back. He reached out and stroked her cheek.

‘I’m not rebuilding the funeral parlour, Marla.’

She stared at him, dry-mouthed. ‘Are you going back to Dublin?’

‘Not if I have something to stay for.’

He’d asked the question once before, but this time she answered from her heart.

‘Stay for me. Stay because I love you, Gabe.’

She couldn’t hold the tears in any longer, but it didn’t matter anymore. She’d said what she needed to, and he was kissing her like a drowning man. She wound her arms around his neck and melted against him.

Soft and pliant, against his firmness and warmth.

He brushed away her tears with his fingertips, and for several heavenly moments they dispensed of the need for words altogether.

Gabe came up for air and licked the hollow of her neck.

‘Say it again.’

‘Say what?’

She half-laughed and half-gasped as he slid a hand up her skirt and stroked the back of her thigh.

‘You know what. Say it, or I’m going to take this ridiculous dress off.’

He played with the zipper at the back of her dress with his free hand.

‘I love you, Gabriel Ryan.’

‘I love you, too, Marla. Very much.’

He kicked up the heat when he kissed her again, and she slid a hand down between them to his crotch.

‘I love you more,’ she said as he rocked against her fingers with an appreciative groan. His hand slid from her thigh to cup her bottom, and as she arched pain irritated her hipbone, reminding her of something she still needed to do.

‘Wait.’ She pulled her head back. ‘I nearly forgot to give you
your
present.’

He grumbled in frustration when she pushed him back a couple of steps, then perked up again when she hitched her skirt right up on one side. She gathered the slinky material up to knicker level, too excited to be bothered that she was flashing her underwear in a hospital side ward. Gabe’s eyes were threatening to fall out of his head as she stood in front of him in her high heels, and Marla thanked the fashion gods that only her black La Perla lace briefs sat perfectly underneath the Biba dress.

‘This is hands down the best present anyone has ever given me in my life,’ he reached out to touch her but Marla smacked his fingers away.

‘I’m not your present, idiot.’ She hitched the dress higher and revealed the white gauze square taped over her hipbone with surgical tape.

A deep frown of concern furrowed across Gabe’s forehead.

‘Oh God. Are you hurt?’

Marla nodded and tried to keep her face straight. ‘It hurt like hell at the time, yeah.’

‘What did you do?’

‘Take it off and have a look for yourself.’ Marla said.

‘Jesus. Please tell me we’re talking about your knickers.’

She cuffed him on the arm with her free hand and then reached down and peeled the tape back herself. ‘There. Look.’ She beckoned him closer.

Gabe dropped on his haunches until his head was level with her hip, close enough to get a bird’s eye view of the small lighthouse that had been freshly tattooed there that afternoon. She laid a hand on his shoulder to steady herself, and felt gentle laughter ripple through him as he shook his head. They had been on exactly the same page.

‘It reminded me of you,’ she murmured. ‘Like Ivan and Dora. People need someone to share their lives with. I guess I never really realized it was true for me too. We need rocks to stand our lighthouses on.’