Unfaded (16 page)

             
Dad was gone. According to Marley, he’d left the house shortly after six. He’d come back around three last night and checked in on me. I was awake but pretended to be sleeping. For a while I could hear Marley and him talking downstairs and although I was curious, I didn’t sneak out to try and hear them. Dad was already suspicious after catching me in that lie about the biology book. It would be disastrous if he caught me eavesdropping. Eventually I’d drifted off to sleep but for all I knew, Dad might have stayed up all night.

             
Granny sat with me at the table and Marley was trying to feed her some mashed up fruit and oatmeal with a spoon. It was a bad morning. That was the most horrible thing about Granny losing her memory. There would be some days where she was more alert and smiled at us and even recognized our faces. Other days she couldn’t figure out how to swallow. This was one of the bad ones. More fruit slid down her chin and onto her bib and Marley kept having to wipe her face with a napkin.

             
“Helen, will you pass me the paper,” Granny said to me.

             
“You had the paper,” I patiently told her. “You read it this morning when you first woke up.”

             
I know this might sound harsh to some people. It wasn’t that I wanted to lie to Granny. But if I refused her the paper she’d just get agitated. If I gave it to her she’d just rip it into shreds. By telling her she’d all ready read it, well, that calmed her.

             
“Oh,” Granny said. “Thank you, Helen.”

             
It didn’t bother me that Granny often thought I was her daughter and not granddaughter. I know it hurt Dad. But not me. I liked that I looked so much like Mom. I’d spent a lot of time when I was a child looking over the family photo album. There were just a few pictures. She and Dad had only been together for two years before the accident. Maybe it was because I’d never known my mother that I felt happy knowing I shared something with her. In one picture she was staring at the camera with one hand over her face to block out the sunlight. Her long brown hair was being blown into her face. She was wearing a flowered dress and her swollen, baby filled belly was visible. Smiling at the camera, she appeared to be laughing over something that my Dad (the photographer) said.

             
She looked so beautiful and happy.

             
Two weeks later I was born.

             
Two months later she was dead.

             
I never knew her but I think she would have liked me.

             
I didn’t notice when Granny got up from the table until she pressed her hand into mine and squeezed gently.

             
“Mai,” she said. “I think there’s something wrong.”

             
“Granny?” It had been ages since she’d called me by my real name. Her eyes were alert.

             
“I think there’s a storm coming, Mai,” she said. “I’m worried about you. If you’re not careful you’ll get stuck. I’m ready to go see Helen but you’re not.”

             
Her eyes closed for a few seconds and when they opened, I could see the brightness was gone. That’s the way it was, sometimes she was there, and other times she was somewhere else.

             
“Are you Ok, Granny?” Marley came back into the kitchen, her arms filled with laundry.

             
“I think I’m tired and would like to lie down.”

             
“Come on,” I got up from the table, still holding her hand. “I’ve got some time. Let’s get you into bed.”

             
“I’d like that, Helen.”

                                                        *              *              *

              I managed to get through most of the morning without hassle. There were a lot of stares and whispers, the majority of which I was able to ignore. It was normal for everyone to be curious about the fire. A couple of brave souls stopped to ask me about it. Most of the students didn’t have a clue what was going on and the rumours were rampant. By the time noon came around I’d reassured a few friends that no one had died, been taken hostage, or ended up in emergency.

             
At lunch time, I grabbed some fries from the cafeteria and went to join Claire and Amber. Connor wasn’t at our table and I wasn’t surprised. He’d probably spend lunch period hiding out in the gym, shooting hoops with Eugene.

             
Amber was so curious she could barely conceal her enthusiasm as I crossed the room. She wasn’t the only one. There were a lot of eyes on me. At least Amber and Claire would be able to let me know what they were saying.

             
“You’ve got to tell us everything,” Amber said.

             
“Let me sit down first,” I said. “Then you can tell me what you’ve heard and I’ll let you know if it’s true.”

             
“Ha-ha,” Claire said.

             
“I heard you wrestled an insane madman to the floor,” Amber said with a sly smile.

             
I rearranged my facial features into what I hoped was a mock anger look.

             
“Yeah, I didn’t believe it either,” Amber said. “I mean, only one insane guy? You could have taken on at least ten.”

             
Laughing hard, I almost snorted grapefruit juice through my nose. Trust me; you don’t want to do that. Been there, done it, never want to revisit that feeling.

             
“My Dad told me that someone set fire to the shop last night,” Claire said. “Now that I believe.”

             
“That’s pretty much it,” I said.

             
“And you were there,” Claire continued.

             
“Kinda,” I said.

             
Amber squealed and grabbed my hand. “Wow, you must have been terrified. What happened?”

             
“I wasn’t there,” I said. “I didn’t see it happen. I got there after.”

             
Claire looked down at the table. Suddenly her peanut butter sandwich was more important than anything else in the world.

             
“What?” I said.

             
“Nothing,” she said. She picked at her bread with her pinkie finger.

             
“You might as well tell me,” I said. “Otherwise I’m going to hear it from Breanna in English class. A good friend would at least give me a heads up.”

             
“Where’s Connor?” Amber said, completely clueless for the first time. Usually she’s the first one to know about these things. But Claire knew. Picking up a napkin, she began shredding it into tiny pieces. A sure sign she was nervous.

             
“We’re not talking to each other,” I said.

             
Amber gasped. “What? Why didn’t you call me? How come I’m just hearing about this now? Is this because of last night?”

             
“Oh,” I said. “You noticed that did you?”

             
“His jealous boyfriend bit?” Amber shook her head. “I thought he was going to grab you and try to French kiss you at the table.”

             
“I saw it too,” Claire said. “It’s not like him at all.”

             
“I know,” I said. “I’ve never seen him act like such a jerk. I tried talking to him when he drove me home but he wouldn’t listen. He freaked when I told him he needed to back off. He said I look at Kian as if I’ve already slept with him.”

             
Dead silence at the table. Not a good sign.

             
They were my friends. They were supposed to act all appalled and start saying things like ‘oh, you’d never do that,’ or ‘he’s crazy,’ or ‘there’s no way you looked like that.’ There’s a stipulation that must be followed. But you know you’re in trouble when even your friends won’t meet your eye.

             
“What?” I snapped after waiting an entire minute with no one jumping to my rescue.

             
“Well, you do look at him,” Amber said. “I’m sorry, Mai, I really am, but the two of you kept acting like you were sharing some sort of secret last night. I can see why Connor got pissed about it.”

             
“I’m surprised you saw it considering you couldn’t take your paws off of him.”

             
More dead silence at the table. I’d hurt her. I could tell by the way her chin started to quiver. Shame on me.

             
“Amber, I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m being a bitch. You know I’d never say anything to hurt you unless my foot was shoved up against my tonsils.”

             
Amber glanced over at the doors so that I wouldn’t see the tears in her eyes. I turned to Claire, the voice of sanity, our brainy friend, the only one who could get me out of this mess.

             
“You do look at him,” she said. “I don’t know if I’d put it as blunt as Connor did, but it looks like the two of you are closer than you say.”

             
“You know me,” I said. “You know I’d never do anything like that.”

             
“I know,” Claire said. “But Kian is really good looking. You can’t sit here and pretend he isn’t. All the guys in school are probably threatened by him right now.”

             
“That’s true,” Amber said. “I’m not gonna name names, but I know a few girls who have admitted to having crushes on Kian. Most of them have boyfriends.”

             
“And there are a lot of girls here,” Claire said. “But you’re the one he’s chosen to hang out with. If I were Connor, I’d be freaking too.”

             
“Especially the way you look at him,” Amber said. “And I’m not saying that to be mean, Mai. The two of you do seem close.”

             
How long had I known him?

             
A flash of light. Kian reaching out to me. His hair was longer, past his shoulders. Reaching out, tracing his fingers along my cheek. Pulling me forward. My lips pressing against his.

             
It took every ounce of strength in my body not to gasp. Where on earth did that come from? I could feel his fingers haunting my cheek. Reaching up, I pressed on my skin just to make sure there was nothing there.

“He seems familiar to me,” I
finally confessed. “I’ve felt that from the moment I saw him. I’ve met him before, I’m sure of it. I just have no idea when or where or how. He said he feels the same way. Do you think that might be it?”

             
“How romantic,” Amber said.

“I’m not trying to be romantic,” I said. “I have a boyfriend in case you forgot
and everyone’s making me feel like the most terrible person in the world. But there’s more to this isn’t there? I can read you like a book, Claire. Tell me.”

             
Claire sighed. She didn’t want to be the burden of bad news. “Everyone says you spent last night at the motel with Kian.”

             
Amber glared at me. Now which one of us was thinking the other was being cheap?

             
“That’s not true!” I said. “I’d never do that to Connor. You both know that.”

             
“I know that,” Claire said and Amber nodded. “But does Connor know that? Having the entire school talking about it isn’t going to help. Especially when I know some of it’s true.”

             
“What? What’s true? Which part?” Amber practically shouted. The people at the table next to us snickered and leaned closer to hear.

             
“Great, why not tell the entire school, why don’t you,” I muttered.

             
“What’s true?”

             
“I’ll let Mai tell it.”

             
I should have known Claire would know. Her Dad was a fireman and was probably there last night even if I didn’t see him. Of course he would have mentioned it to Claire this morning since he knew we were friends. It was time to fess up.

             
“Kian and I were at the motel,” I finally said. Better they learn the complete truth from me. “In Thelma’s library. We were studying, nothing more. When we heard the noise we came out to investigate. Half the town saw us coming out together.”

             
“You’re so dead,” Amber said and I’m sure she meant it in a nice way because she gave me a big hug. “We’ll stand behind you. I’ll tell Connor it wasn’t true. I’ll even beat up Breanna or put used chewing gum in her locker.”

             
“It won’t matter,” I said. “He’s going to need some time over this one. And it probably won’t help with all the stories going around. Besides, I don’t owe him anything. He’s the one who started it by going all psycho boyfriend. I’m not going to be the one who ends up feeling guilty this time.”