Unfaded (31 page)

             
She smiled. There was no sign of understanding in her eyes. I gave her a hug and her frail arms wrapped around me, pulling me close. The thinness of her body almost made me start bawling all over again. I didn’t want to leave her.

             
But I needed to keep her safe.

             
I didn’t want to pop my head in the kitchen because I was afraid I couldn’t keep it together. Dad would take one look at me and know something was up. So I yelled out my goodbye from the front door and waited till I got a response.

             
“See you later, honey.”

             
No, they wouldn’t.

             
I was worried that Seito or Lina might try and stop me from getting in my car but if they were watching, neither of them did anything. The street was empty. The car started on the second try and soon I was driving towards the highway and out of town. I would stop at the motel for Kian on the way out. I didn’t think I could go away on my own and I was certain he’d come with me. He’d been the one to first suggest leaving when we drove to the truck stop. I should have listened to him then.

             
I had to knock on the door a few times before Kian opened up. Immediately I saw he’d been sleeping. His eyes were full of crusties and his hair was messed up. He was also standing on his ankle which must have still been hurting because it was raised slightly to keep his body weight off. Yawning, he reached out and touched my arm, the sleepiness completely leaving his face the second he noticed I was shaking.

             
“Mai? What’s wrong? Did something happen?” Cursing, he pulled back the door and let me in. Locking it behind me, he opened the curtains and nervously scanned the parking lot. “Did you drive here by yourself?”

             
“Yes, but...”

             
Grabbing me by the shoulders, he pulled me close. Electricity danced between us, making it hard to focus on his face. His eyes burned down at mine. “Do you have any idea how dangerous that was? What if they’d spotted you? What if you had a vision?”

             
“No, it’s not like that,” I said. “Nothing happened. I just, um, I’m ready to leave.”

             
“Leave where?”

             
“Anywhere.”

             
He paused, his eyes gazing across my face, trying to read my mind. “Maybe you’d better sit down.”

             
“No!”

             
“Ok, then.” He picked up his jacket and put it on. “Let’s go for a drive. Give me your keys.”

             
I handed them over. “Can you drive? What about your ankle?”

             
“I’ll manage,” he said as he limped over to the door. “I’d better leave a note for Micah.” I waited while he scrawled something on a napkin and left it by the table closest to the door.

             
Outside the snow was falling and the ground was covered in a fine white mist. Kian unlocked the car and we both got in. Snowflakes were beginning to collect on the windows but they instantly melted once he started the car and turned the heat on full blast.

             
“Let’s get a coffee first,” he said. “Otherwise I might end up falling asleep at the wheel.”

             
We didn’t go to Bean Town. That would have been too risky. Certain Unfaded knew I hung out there and I didn’t want to risk running into Connor. So we drove across town to the Starbucks and I went inside while Kian waited with the engine running.

             
Once Kian was sure no one was following us, he turned the car towards the highway and we drove for a while until we came to a rest stop. It was a nice place, complete with a perfect view of the mountains and some local history about the founders of Addison. It was also one of the well known places where some of the teenagers partied in the summer. But it was empty now, probably because it was still early in the evening. The ones wanting to fool around in their cars usually showed up later.

             
We sat for a while looking out at the mountains from the darkness of the car. Kian kept the motor running for warmth but turned off the headlights. It was a beautiful view but I wasn’t in the mood to admire it.

             
“What’s this about?” he finally asked.

             
“Dad’s taking Granny to Pine Valley next weekend,” I said. “They’ve got a room for her and that’s it. I don’t even get a say in it.”

             
“What’s Pine Valley?”

             
“A nursing home three hours away from here. Granny has Alzheimer’s. She’s getting really bad and we can’t take care of her anymore.”

             
Kian reached over and took my hand. His emotions flowed from his fingertips and I could tell there was sadness there for me. Or maybe it was the way he looked at me, his eyebrows heavy on his face.

             
“I’m sorry,” he said.

             
“I had a realization,” I added. “What if they come after me at the house? They could hurt my family. I’ve been risking them all along and I was too selfish to even notice.”

             
“No, not selfish.”

             
“It’s only a matter of time,” I said. “They’ve been to my school. How soon will it be before they come breaking down my bedroom door?”

             
“I don’t know,” Kian said and I could tell he’d been thinking the exact same thing. “I don’t think they know where you live yet, but that could easily change. But I still don’t think we should run away.”

             
“Why not? A few days ago you were just dying to get me out of here. You said it wasn’t safe. What’s changed?”

             
“We’re no longer alone,” he said. “Micah may not like it and I’m not sure I do either but Lina and Seito are here to help. They’ll do whatever it takes to protect you. Micah is calling me a coward but I’ve made too many mistakes in the past by trying to keep you to myself. I’ve always failed. Maybe this is the one thing I need to do to keep you safe.”

             
“What was I like?” I whispered.

             
“You mean when I first met you?”

             
“Yes.”

             
“It was beautiful,” he said. “Just a little over four hundred years ago. You were a blacksmith’s daughter living in a small flat in London, helping your poor mother take care of your eight brothers and sisters. It wasn’t good. The entire city was suffering from Bubonic Plague. The first time I saw you was on a summer day. You were outside the Globe Theatre. Shakespeare was performing Julius Caesar and you were trying to gather up the nerve to go and buy a ticket. At that time it was very uncommon for a woman to go anywhere without an escort.”

             
“I guess that explains why I love all those books from that era,” I said with a smirk.

             
“I was caught by your beauty,” he said. “I knew immediately what you were and I assumed you recognized me for what I was too. I struck up a conversation and offered to accompany you. You accepted and we watched the play together.”

             
Wow. I had to stop myself from getting giddy. I’d actually seen a real Shakespeare play. I think I was more impressed by that bit of information than anything else Kian had thrown at me so far.

             
“Afterwards we walked along the Thames and you talked to me about your family. It wasn’t until then that I realised you were something different. By then I was so enamored by you I had no choice but to follow you home so I could come back and court you every day. You changed me, Mai. Up until then I’d been most of a drifter with no real goal in life but existing. I know how stupid this sounds but you gave me something to look forward to. But it didn’t last. They were all ready tracking you and I wasn’t prepared. By the time I clued in to what was happening, you were dead and Aelin's followers had moved on. But I couldn’t get over you and I started spending my days searching for you, knowing I’d have to go through it all over again once I found the your new reincarnation. I’ve never given up since.”

             
“What was I like?”

             
“Not much different than you are today. Kind. Caring. You were overly worried about your smaller brother who was suffering from the plague. When he died you helped carry his body into the street where the death cart was waiting. You were more concerned about his body getting a proper burial than catching the disease yourself. You mourned for him and everyone else who died.”

             
“Did I ever know what I was?”

             
Kian shook his head. “I never told you. I didn’t know how to approach the subject. All you knew was that I was some poor lad who fancied you.”

             
“That was so long ago,” I said. “How many times have I died?”

             
“In total? I don’t know.”

             
“How many times did you lose me?”

             
Kian let go of my hand and gazed out into the darkness. “Please don’t ask me that.”

             
“Are you afraid I’ll be angry?”

             
He nodded.

             
I reached out and touched his shoulder. “I’ll never hate you if that’s what you’re afraid of. You’ve done so much for me. How could I?”

             
“Then don’t hate me now,” he said. “But I’m not letting you run away. I think you’re safer here than anywhere else. At least for now. But I’ll promise you this. If the time comes where I think you or your family is in danger, I’ll pull you out.”

             
“Ok,” I said.

             
We stayed there a while longer and he told me about some of the plays he’d seen in London over the centuries. He talked about the costumes and the fashions that people wore and how women used to pass out in the heat from being forced to wear so many layers. We talked about happy things. We didn’t talk about death or running away or mistakes either of us had made in the past. Around midnight he drove me home where Lina was holding watch outside my window.

             
I wouldn’t let him walk me to my door. His ankle was still causing him pain and I didn’t want him to use it more than he had to.

             
“I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” he said.

                                                        *              *              *

              My past was invading my dreams.

“Humanity is disgusting.”

It was my first real look at Dialexa and Apani and I was neither of them. Instead, I walked along beside them through the streets of a city that was full of conflict. The air was thick with the smell of rot. Children and beggars roamed the streets, dressed in filthy rags with dirty hands and faces.

I was a ghost. Neither of them knew I was there. It gave me the chance to study them both. Although they were identical, it was easy to tell them apart. Dialexa was obviously the stronger of the two. Her face was hardened, she kept her mouth closed tightly and her eyes squinted a lot. She was stunningly beautiful with long black curls that swept back off her head and down her shoulders to rest just above the small in her back. There were no flaws on her face but she lacked the softness that made Apani more noticeable. Most of the people in this city had the same expression as Dialexa. They were angry and bitter, hungry and suffering.

Apani glided as she walked. Her hair flowed like her sister but she’d braided a few strands at the side. There was a constant smile on her lips and she often would speak a kind word to the peasants as they crossed her path. People noticed her as she walked, many stopped, their eyes following her as she passed them by.

Night and Day.

Oil and Water.

One of
the children accidently stumbled across Dialexa and she kicked him aside where he collapsed in the gutter. Apani moved past her and took off her necklace. Pressing it into the child’s fingers, she smiled at him and helped him to his feet. I tried myself to reach out and touch him but my hand passed through the waif’s skin. There was no role for me to play in this memory. I didn’t exist yet.

“They’re not all bad,”
Apani responded once the child had raced away.

“Look around,” Dialexa hissed. “What do you see? The world is rotting and all you see is light. Open your eyes. The rich are corruptive. They wage wars yet they never fight. That’s something reserved for the poor. They’ve drained all their resources and we’re left with begging filth.” She spat on an old man lying in the dirt.

“There is still beauty here,” Apani said. “You just don’t see it like I do.”