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Authors: Anne-Marie Slaughter

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  NOTES  
“It's Such a Pity You Had to Leave Washington”

Within five days
As of December 3, 2014.

“I just read your article”
Email to Anne-Marie Slaughter, June 26, 2012.

Part I: Moving Beyond Our Mantras

She described it as
Betty Friedan,
The Feminine Mystique
, 50th anniversary edition (New York: W. W. Norton and Company, 2013), eBook, p. 1.

She began to believe
Ibid., loc. 144 of 8353.

Chapter 1: Half-Truths Women Hold Dear

In the same breath
“Gender and Generation in the Workplace,” Families and Work Institute, 2004,
familiesandwork.org/​downloads/​Generationand​Gender.pdf
; Jane Leber Herr and Catherine Wolfram, “Work Environment and ‘Opt-Out' Rates at Motherhood Across High-Education Career Paths,” National Bureau of Economic Research Working Paper Series, February 2009,
nber.org/​papers/​w14717.pdf
.

“I was leaving most of the responsibility”
Email to Anne-Marie Slaughter, December 3, 2012.

Relatively rare
Karen Z. Kramer, Erin L. Kelly, and Jan B. McCulloch, “Stay-at-Home Fathers: Definition and Characteristics Based on 34 Years of CPS Data,”
Journal of Family Issues
, September 12, 2013,
jfi.sagepub.com/​content/early/​2013/09/​09/0192513X13502479​.abstract​?papetoc
.

“If we didn't start to learn”
Lia Macko and Kerry Rubin,
Midlife Crisis at 30: How the Stakes Have Changed for a New Generation—And What to Do About It
(Emmaus, PA: Rodale, 2004), p. 10.

20 percent of law firm partners
“Women in Law in Canada and the U.S.,” Catalyst, March 11, 2013,
catalyst.org/​knowledge/​women-law-us
.

24 percent of full-time tenured professors
Martha S. West and John W. Curtis, “AAUP Faculty Gender Equity Indicators 2006,” American Association of University Professors, 2006,
aaup.org/​NR/rdonlyres/​63396944-44BE​-4ABA-9815-5792D93856F1/​0/​AAUPGenderEquity​Indicators2006.pdf
.

21 percent of surgeons
“The Surgical Workforce in the United States: Profile and Recent Trends,” American College of Surgeons Health Policy Research Institute, April 2010,
acshpri.org/​documents/​ACSHPRI_Surgical_Workforce​_in_US_apr2010.pdf
.

8 percent of the most senior bankers
Elena Moya, “Glass Ceiling Is Thicker in Investment Banking than in Other Areas of Finance,”
Financial News
, March 28, 2011,
efinancialnews.com/​story/2011-03-28/​glass-ceiling-is-​thicker-in-investment-​banking-than-in-other-​areas-of-finance?​ea9c8a2de0ee1110​45601ab04d673622
.

3 percent of hedge and private equity fund managers
Linda Basch and Jacki Zehner, “Women in Fund Management,” National Council for Research on Women, June 2009,
regender.org/​sites/ncrw.org/​files/​wifm_report.pdf
.

6 percent of mechanical engineers
Liana Christin Landivar, “Disparities in STEM Employment by Sex, Race and Hispanic Origin,” American Community Survey Reports, September 2013,
census.gov/​prod/2013pubs/​acs-24.pdf
.

8.5 percent of the world's billionaires
Erin Carlyle, “The World's Richest Women,”
Forbes
, March 7, 2012,
forbes.com/​sites/​erincarlyle/​2012/03/07/​the-worlds-​richest-women
.

It's the reason that optimists do better
Martin E. Seligman,
Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life
(New York: Vintage, 2011), eBook, pp. 144–72.

“tear down the external barriers”
Sheryl Sandberg,
Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead
(New York: Knopf, 2013), p. 8.

Afterward, he'd point out
Katty Kay and Claire Shipman,
The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance—What Women Should Know
(New York: HarperCollins, 2014), p. xviii.

“I resigned yesterday”
Email to Anne-Marie Slaughter, June 13, 2013.

“Denial of requests”
Pamela Stone,
Opting Out? Why Women Really Quit Careers and Head Home
(Berkeley: University of California Press, 2007), p. 115.

Carey Goldberg…describes her effort
Carey Goldberg, “Sheryl Sandberg's Biggest Blind Spot,” WBUR, April 2, 2013,
cognoscenti.wbur.org/​2013/04/02/​lean-in-​carey-goldberg
.

“I aspire to a C-level position”
Email to Anne-Marie Slaughter, June 22, 2012.

“living one single incident”
Maria Shriver and the Center for American Progress, “A Woman's Nation Pushes Back from the Brink: Executive Summary,”
The Shriver Report
, January 12, 2014,
shriverreport.org/​a-womans-nation-​pushes-back-from-the-brink-​executive-summary-maria-​shriver
.

The divorce rate
“Marriage and Divorce: Patterns by Gender, Race, and Educational Attainment,”
Monthly Labor Review
, October 2013,
bls.gov/​opub/​mlr/​2013/​article/​marriage-and-divorce-​patterns-by-gender-​race-and-educational-​attainment.htm
.

the many divorced mothers
Kenneth A. Couch, Christopher R. Tamborini, Gayle Reznik, and John W. R. Phillips, “Divorce, Women's Earnings, and Retirement over the Life Course,” chapter 8 in K. Couch, M. C. Daly, and J. Zissimopoulos, eds.,
Lifecycle Events and Their Consequences: Job Loss, Family Change, and Declines in Health
(Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press, 2013), pp. 133–57.

almost three-fourths of boomer women
Robyn Ely, Pamela Stone, and Colleen Ammerman, “Rethinking What You ‘Know' About High-Achieving Women,”
Harvard Business Review
, December 2014,
hbr.org/​2014/12/​rethink-what-you-​know-about-high-​achieving-women
.

women still end up carrying
Kim Parker and Wendy Wang, “Modern Parenthood,” Pew Research Center Social and Demographic Trends, March 14, 2013,
pewsocialtrends.org/​2013/03/​14/​modern-parenthood-roles-of​-moms-and-dads-converge-as​-they-balance-work-​and-family
.

these highly successful women
Carol Hymowitz, “Behind Every Great Woman,”
Bloomberg Businessweek
, January 4, 2012,
businessweek.com/​magazine/​behind-every-great-​woman-01042012.html
.

“Bottom line is”
Andrea Shalal-Esa, “Hewson's Long Lockheed Journey Ends at the Top,” Reuters, November 9, 2012,
reuters.com/​article/2012/11/​10/us-lockheed-​hewson-idUSBRE8A904​T20121110
.

Among the jobs she held
Marjorie Censer, “After Nearly 30 Years with Lockheed, Hewson Is Named Chief Executive,”
Washington Post
, November 13, 2012,
washingtonpost.com/​business/​capitalbusiness/​after-nearly-​30-years-with-lockheed-​hewson-is-named-​chief-executive/​2012/11/13/​173cc04a-​2cdc-11e2-a99d-​5c4203af7b7a_story.html
.

“elected to focus”
Doug Cameron and Joann S. Lublin, “Vaulted to Top at Lockheed, and Ready to Navigate Cliff,”
Wall Street Journal
, November 11, 2012,
online.wsj.com/​news/articles/​SB1000142412788732443980​4578113250113672078
.

Her husband has stayed home
Rebecca Hughes Parker, “The Unsteady Rise of the Power Mom and the Diapering Dad,” April 12, 2013,
rebeccahughesparker.com/​2013/04/​12/the-​unsteady-rise-​of-the-power-​mom-and-the​-diapering-dad
(originally posted at
Professionelle.me
as part of the Professionelle Talks series in May 2013).

She said she broke down crying
“Makers: Women Who Make America, Abby Pogrebin,” PBS, February 26, 2013,
video.pbs.org/​video/​2331420920
.

“If you turn down a promotion”
Jill R. Aitoro, “Marillyn Hewson: Inside Out,”
Washington Business Journal
, February 1, 2013,
bizjournals.com/​washington/​print-edition/​2013/02/01/​marillyn-hewson​-inside-out.html?page=2
.

“built on the unstated assumption”
Timothy L. O'Brien, “Why Do So Few Women Reach the Top of Big Law Firms?,”
New York Times
, March 19, 2006,
nytimes.com/​2006/03/19/​business/​yourmoney/19law.html
.

Statistically, IVF
“Committee Opinion: Female Age-Related Fertility Decline,” American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, March 2014,
acog.org/Resources​-And-Publications/Committee-Opinions/​Committee-on-Gynecologic-Practice​/Female-Age-Related-​Fertility-Decline
.

In her book
Creating a Life
Sylvia Ann Hewlett,
Creating a Life: Professional Women and the Quest for Children
(New York: Talk Miramax, 2002), p. 33.

Chapter 2: Half-Truths About Men

“I'd wanted so badly”
Lily Ledbetter, with Lanier Scott Isom,
Grace and Grit: My Fight for Equal Pay and Fairness at Goodyear and Beyond
(New York: Crown, 2012), pp. 6–7.

That was 1999
“Highlights of Women's Earnings in 2013,” U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, Report 1051, December 2014,
bls.gov/opub/​reports/cps/​highlights-of-​womens-earnings​-in-2013.pdf
.

“they are somehow not ‘macho' enough”
Email to Anne-Marie Slaughter, July 20, 2012.

“Comments were made”
Jennifer L. Berdahl, Vicki J. Magley, and C. R. Waldo, “The Sexual Harassment of Men? Exploring the Concept with Theory and Data,”
Psychology of Women Quarterly
, 20 (1996): 527–47.

Seventeen years later
Joan C. William, “The Daddy Dilemma: Why Men Face a ‘Flexibility Stigma' at Work,”
Washington Post
, February 11, 2013,
washingtonpost.com/​national/​on-leadership/​the-daddy-dilemma-​why-men-face-a-flexibility​-stigma-at-work/2013​/02/11/58350f4e-7462​-11e2-aa12-​e6cf1d31106b_story.html
.

men who requested a twelve-week leave
Ibid.

caregiving fathers had
Jennifer L. Berdahl and Sue H. Moon, “Worker Mistreatment of Middle Class Workers Based on Sex,
Parenthood, and Caregiving,”
Journal of Social Issues
69 (2013): 341–66.

men and women valued workplace flexibility equally
Joan C. Williams, Mary Blair-Loy, and Jennifer L. Berdahl, “Cultural Schemas, Social Class, and the Flexibility Stigma,”
Journal of Social Issues
69 (2013): 209–34.

Overall, the share of companies
Claire Cain Miller, “Paternity Leave: The Rewards and the Remaining Stigma,”
New York Times
, November 7, 2014,
nytimes.com/​2014/​11/​09/​upshot/​paternity-leave-the-rewards-and-the-remaining-stigma.html
.

In one case, a management trainee
Bates v. 84 Lumber Co
., No. 05-5554 (6th Cir. 2006).

“You are probably not aware”
Email to Anne-Marie Slaughter, July 13, 2012.

He tries to mesh
Andrew Cohen, “ ‘Having It All'? How About: ‘Doing the Best I Can'?,”
Atlantic
, June 27, 2012,
theatlantic.com/​business/archive/2012/06/​having-it-all-how-about​-doing-the-best​-i-can/258898
.

Perusing a biography of Colgate Darden
Guy Friddell,
Colgate Darden: Conversations with Guy Friddell
(Charlottesville, VA: University Press of Virginia, 1978), p. 100.

Along with Liberia and Papua New Guinea
Tara Siegel Bernard, “In Paid Family Leave, U.S. Trails Most of the Globe,”
New York Times
, February 22, 2013,
nytimes.com/2013/02/23/​your-money/​us-trails-​much-of-the-world-in-​providing-paid-family-leave.html
.

The unpaid leave we do offer
“Fact Sheet #28: The Family and Medical Leave Act,” U.S. Department of Labor, Wage and Hours Division, revised 2012,
dol.gov/​whd/​regs/​compliance/​whdfs28.pdf
.

have been at those companies
Ibid.

children raised by gay parents
Stephanie Pappas, “Why Gay Parents May Be the Best Parents,”
LiveScience
, January 15, 2012,
livescience.com/​17913-advantages-gay-parents.html
.

Frank Ligtvoet, a gay dad
Frank Ligtvoet, “The Misnomer of ‘Motherless' Parenting,” June 22, 2013,
nytimes.com/2013/06/23/​opinion/sunday/​the-misnomer-of-motherless​-parenting.html
.

A study from Ohio State
“Family Stability May Be More
Crucial than Two Parents for Child Success,” Research News, Ohio State University, August 31, 2009,
researchnews.osu.edu/​archive/​familystability.htm
.

Conversely, a 2013 report
“The First Eight Years: Giving Kids a Foundation for Lifetime Success,” Annie E. Casey Foundation, December 2, 2013,
aecf.org/~/media/​Pubs/​Initiatives/​KIDS%20COUNT/​F/FirstEightYears/​AECFTheFirstEight​Years2013.pdf
.

BOOK: Unfinished Business
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