Authors: Nancy Mehl
Tags: #FIC042040, #FIC042060, #FIC053000, #Serial murderers—Fiction, #Young women—Fiction, #Mennonites—Fiction, #Violent crimes—Fiction, #Nonviolence—Fiction, #Ambivalence—Fiction, #Kansas—Fiction
“Levi's eating with Sheriff Timmons and Roger,” I told her. “All three of them want chicken-fried steak.”
She nodded absentmindedly but didn't say anything. I knew her well enough to know that she hadn't really heard me.
“Lizzie, did you hear what I said?”
“What?” She stopped breading steak and frowned at me. “Yes, I'm making chicken-fried steak. Can't you tell?”
“Oh, Lizzie.” I walked over and put my arm around her. “I'm worried too. But this murder has nothing to do with us. These men from the KBI will figure out who killed that woman, and then we'll all go back to normal. Won't we?”
She looked at me, a strange expression on her face. “I hope so, Callie. I love this town, but I truly wonder if we can continue to weather these storms and stay untouched. Suddenly I'm not so sure.”
Her words caused a chill to run through me, and I let her go. “But earlier you said the devil didn't have a chance against us. That God would protect us.” Even though her words echoed my own thoughts, for some reason I felt distressed. Lizzie was usually a calming voice when dark clouds gathered. I needed her encouragement, her assurance that everything was going to be okay. What she'd said only brought the darkness closer.
“I need three chicken-fried steak dinners for Levi, Roger, and the sheriff,” I said quickly. “We've got a full house. I should get out there and take some orders.”
“Okay.” She reached out and caught my arm before I could get to the door. “Callie, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. It's just that . . .” She stared past me, a forlorn look on her face. “How am I going to explain this to Charity? I hate telling her about the horror in the world. It tears me up.”
“I'm so sorry, Lizzie. It didn't occur to me. Having a child is a huge responsibility. I can't imagine how difficult it must be sometimes.”
Lizzie smiled sadly. “Yes, difficult and joyous, all at the
same time. Just ignore me. I'll figure it out. God will give me the right words, I'm sure.”
I nodded. “You've raised a wonderful child. She can handle this. I truly believe that.” I turned to go but then stopped. “Lizzie, why would someone put Levi's book in that woman's hands? I can't understand it.”
“I don't know. Maybe the killer found it somewhere and wanted to draw attention away from himself.” She sighed deeply. “Don't think about it, Callie. You know Levi had nothing to do with this. Allowing yourself to consider anything else is useless.” She offered me a weak smile. “We really don't have time to discuss it now. Let's get these people fed, okay?”
I tried to nod but couldn't stop the tear that fell down my cheek.
Lizzie put her hands on my shoulders. “I'm sorry, Callie. This is obviously harder on you than I realized. What can I do to help?”
“It's not that. It'sâ”
“It's what?” she said. I could hear the concern in her voice, but it was colored with impatience.
I looked into her eyes. “It's that book, Lizzie. I'm afraid of what it means.”
Lizzie frowned at me. “What are you talking about? What do you think it means?”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “If you weren't distracted, you'd have seen it too.” I tried to control my trembling. “Oh, Lizzie. Levi misplaced that book somewhere in town. Probably at the churchâor maybe here in the restaurant. That means that only someone who lives in Kingdom could have found it. Doesn't that mean that the killer is almost certainly one of us?”
At first Lizzie only stared at me, but as she considered my words, her face went slack. “I . . . I hadn't considered . . .”
I grabbed her hands with my own and pulled them off my shoulders. “It seems so clear to me. No one from the outside could have taken it. Someone who lives here had to place that book with the body. Someone we know.”
“Oh, Callie. I'll bet Levi left the book in his buggy when he went to Washington. Anyone could have taken it when he stepped away. I'm sure it wasn't anyone from Kingdom.”
I was so frightened for Levi I hadn't thought of that. People in Kingdom bought a lot of their supplies in Washington. Levi traveled there frequently. I felt a rush of relief. Maybe Lizzie was right.
Before I could respond, the door to the kitchen swung open and Levi walked in. “Sorry to interrupt,” he said, “but you have a full dining room, Lizzie. I thought you might need some additional help.” His voice trailed off as he noticed the looks on our faces. “What's wrong?”
Lizzie swung away from me and picked up some steaks that had already been floured and seasoned. She tossed them into a large pan of hot grease. The loud pop and sizzle broke the tension that filled the room.
“Nothing,” she said brusquely. “We need to get to work before we get so far behind we can't catch up.”
Levi nodded. “What can I do?”
Suddenly, the door to the kitchen swung open again. “We're full up out there,” Noah said, a concerned look on his face. “What's going on?”
Lizzie quickly explained the situation, and within a few minutes, Levi and Noah were carrying out plates and taking orders. When we finally caught up, they sat down to eat with
the sheriff, who still looked uneasy. Given the stares he was receiving, it was understandable. Once Roger had circulated through the room, he joined them.
After toting coffee around, I went back to the kitchen. “Everyone's been served,” I told Lizzie.
She smiled at me. “Thank you, Callie. And I'm sorry for how I acted earlier. I want my daughter to grow up in a safe environment. That should be Kingdom. When something like this happens, I take it personally. I didn't mean to pass along my discouragement to you.”
“I understand. I really do.”
She nodded. “The truth is, even with the challenges we've faced, life
is
better here. I guess I want perfection, and even Kingdom isn't perfect. No matter where you live or what you do, the devil is out there trying to get in.”
“Well, we just won't let the devil overtake us,” I said. “Ruth told me once that it's actually our reaction to bad things that makes or breaks us.”
Lizzie leaned against the cabinet behind her and studied me. “Ruth is a wise woman. She's right, and so are you, as long as we're not ignoring the truth.” She was quiet for a moment before saying, “Callie, I also want to apologize for what I said about your father. I didn't mean to poke my nose into your business. Will you forgive me for that too?”
I nodded dumbly, not knowing what to say.
“Thank you. I think I'll shut up for the rest of the night. Seems to be the only way I can keep myself out of trouble.”
I couldn't help but laugh at that. “First of all, I doubt you could stay quiet very long. Secondly, I would hate it if you stopped talking to me. Besides, I think I'm the one who's opened her big mouth too much today.”
She chuckled. “Well, then I'm in good company.” Her eyes narrowed as she studied me. “You haven't eaten, have you?”
“No, there hasn't been a moment.”
“Well, there's a moment now. You said you wanted meat loaf?”
I nodded. “I can't think of anything that sounds better. It's hard watching everyone else eat when you're so hungry.”
Lizzie busied herself with preparing a plate for me. “Has my father shown up yet?” she asked as she added mashed potatoes and gravy to my dish.
“I haven't seen him. Not sure why.”
She shrugged. “Maybe he decided to stay out of the situation for once.”
“Maybe.”
I found that hard to believe, although I didn't say it. There are some people in life who think they have all the answers, and Matthew Engel was one of them.
Lizzie came over and put the plate down in front of me. “Too late for coffee?”
“Actually, I would love a cup. I'm asleep on my feet.”
Lizzie poured two cups of coffee and sat down across from me.
“Have you eaten?” I asked.
She laughed. “You know better than that.”
I did. Lizzie was a nibbler. She was always worried about her food, wanting it to be the best it could be. She dished out samples of everything as soon as it was done, checking the flavor. By the time food was ready to be served, she'd actually eaten enough for an entire meal. No matter how much she ate though, being on her feet so much helped her to burn off extra calories. Her slim figure proved it. I, on the other hand,
was constantly being urged to eat. I'd always been small. Instead of three large meals, I usually ate four or five times a day. Smaller portions. I'd eaten this way as far back as I could remember. However, today, all the turmoil had kept me from grabbing anything. I was just about to say something when I heard a commotion from the dining room. I jumped up and ran to the kitchen door, flinging it open. Lizzie and I got there just in time to see Sheriff Timmons and Roger following behind three men in dark suits and coats who were leading Levi toward the front door of the restaurant.
“What are you doing?” Lizzie cried.
Noah glared at the men and then turned toward us, his eyes wide with emotion. “They're arresting Levi. They think he murdered that woman!”
Noah's words seemed to echo
in my mind. At first I couldn't make sense of them. Slowly a wave of indignation rose up inside me, and I cried out Levi's name.
Sheriff Timmons told the other men to stop and turned to face the stunned crowd. “No one thinks Levi killed anyone. I tried to explain that he is only wanted for questioning. I never said he was under arrest.”
“What's the difference?” Noah said angrily. “If you didn't believe he was involved somehow, why would you compel him to go with you?”
Jonathon Wiese rose from the table where he sat with his parents. “I agree. Why can't you question Levi here? Why does he have to go with you?”
Brodie glared at Noah. “I explained this earlier. I told you why the authorities wanted to talk to your brother. I thought you understood.”
“I did, but you never said they would spirit him away like some criminal.”
Roger turned and walked toward the middle of the room. “Don't worry, folks,” he said, his voice calm and even. “The sheriff is telling you the truth. These men are from the KBI,
and they need to ask Levi some questions. He may know something important and not even realize it. They're just taking him into town to talk to him. The only reason they can't do that here is because we have resources at our office that aren't available in Kingdom.”
Before anyone had a chance to respond, a deep voice rang out from the doorway.
“May I ask just what is going on? Who are these men and what are they doing in our town?”
Matthew Engel, Lizzie's father, pushed past the group of men. Matthew presented an imposing figure dressed in black, from his wide-brimmed hat, long black coat, and dark slacks to his black boots.
The government agent who had addressed us took a step back.
I noticed Charity standing in the doorway, obviously frightened by the scene taking place in front of her. Wanting to protect her, I hurried over, took her by the hand, and told her to go upstairs and stay there until we came to get her. She seemed hesitant to leave her mother, but Lizzie nodded at her, so Charity obeyed and disappeared up the stairs.
As soon as she was out of earshot, Lizzie walked up to the man standing next to Levi. She faced him with her hands on her hips and a challenge in her expression. “Do you have a warrant?”
He raised an eyebrow. “We don't need a warrant to ask questions, Miss. We're not charging Mr. Housler with anything.” He frowned at Levi. “I thought you wanted to help us find this person before they kill again, Pastor.”
Levi shook his head. “I'm happy to help you in any way I can, but I must say once again that I have no idea how my
book ended up where it did. I assure you that I didn't put it there.”
Matthew came up next to Levi and put his hand on his shoulder. “I do not approve of having people from the outside world in our town, Pastor. I think it would be best if you go with them. For the sake of Kingdom. Besides, suppressing the truth is not much different than lying.”
Levi's mouth dropped open. “Suppressing the truth? I don't know anything about this situation, Brother Matthew. I'm not trying to hide anything.”
Matthew scowled at him. “No one is saying you are, but I believe it is your duty to avoid any appearance of evil. Resisting their investigation makes you look . . . untrustworthy.”
Noah made a noise and rushed to his brother's side. “Levi is not untrustworthy. How dare you cast doubt on his character? I won't allow you or anyone elseâ”
“Noah, stop it!”
Levi spoke so forcefully that everyone in the room froze in place. “I'm not resisting anything.” He gazed around at the people gathered in the dining room. “I have no culpability in this awful matter. I'm going with these men because it's the right thing to do. If I can shed any light on this heinous act, I intend to do so. The rest of you need to remain calm and try to maintain a quiet and godly attitude. Everything will be all right.” I knew his words were meant to comfort us, but they didn't have that effect on me. Even though I knew Levi wasn't a murderer, the idea that someone in Kingdom might have been involved in something so . . . so monstrous made my stomach clench. Was that person in the dining room right now? Was he watching Levi being whisked away like a common criminal? For a moment, I worried about getting
sick in front of everyone. However, that feeling disappeared as the agent took Levi by the arm again and began leading him toward the front door.
“Stop!” I called out. I ran over to the coatrack and grabbed Levi's jacket. Then I took it over to him, holding it out. “You're not taking him out in the cold without his coat,” I said to the agent. For the second time today, I was filled with anger. I helped Levi into his coat and handed him his hat. As he turned to leave I grabbed his arm and turned him back toward me. “You'll be home soon.” My voice was strong, but it quavered with unbridled emotion. For a brief second I wondered if I had embarrassed him. But when I looked into his eyes, I saw something there that confirmed my words had strengthened him. Walking out the door, he stood tall, his shoulders straighter, when only moments before they had been slumped in humiliation.
“How will he get home?” Sheriff Timmons asked.
“We'll drive him back when we're done,” one of the men said. “It shouldn't be longer than two or three hours.”
“I'll come to see you in the morning,” Levi said to me. “Don't worry. God is with me.”
Even though I nodded and tried to look unconcerned, the tears on my face gave me away. I watched as the men put him into their car and drove off. For some reason I couldn't find the strength to turn around and face all the eyes I knew were fastened on me. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder.
“Come with me,” Lizzie said gently. She led me through the silent crowd and back to the kitchen. When I got there, I collapsed into a chair.
“Oh, Lizzie,” I said, sobbing. “How could anyone think Levi would be involved in such a grotesque act? It's preposterous.”
She knelt down next to me. “Of course it is,” she said softly. “Remember that the man from the KBI said they only wanted to question him about the book, Callie. They don't think he killed anyone.”
I took a deep shuddering breath and wiped my wet face with my apron. “I know they said that, but I'm not sure I believe them.” My eyes sought hers. “They're from the world, Lizzie. Worldly people lie, don't they? That's what Papa said. We can't trust them.”
She put her arm around me. “Not all people who live outside our borders are bad, Callie. I knew many good people when I lived in Kansas City. People I could trust.” She gave me a hug and stood to her feet. “We're not that much different here. Kingdom is filled with all kinds of people. Good and bad. It's the same in the outside world.”
I shook my head. “I know we're not perfect, but I'd like to believe that for the most part we're different. If we're not, why are we here? Why should we live away from the rest of the world?”
She crossed her arms across her chest. “I do believe we're different, Callie, but I don't think we're perfect. If you expect too much from those of us who live here, I'm afraid you'll end up disappointed. And hurt.” She shook her head. “You've built a wall of protection around yourself to keep out painful truths or emotions you can't control. Someday that wall may fail. I'm not sure you're prepared for what's on the other side.”
I stared at her, not knowing what to say. Papa used to tell me that I lived in a dream world. Was Lizzie saying the same thing? I started to respond but the phone shrilled, cutting me off. I nearly jumped out of my skin. The phone in the kitchen
didn't ring much, but when it did, it was disconcerting, to say the least. Lizzie picked it up and said hello. She listened to whoever was on the other end, thanked them, and hung up.
“That was Roger. The KBI has opened the road. There are still agents out there, and they'll be checking the cars and buggies that go through, but at least people can start heading home.”
I sighed. “Well, that's a little good news.” I started to ask her if she'd like me to announce the road opening to the crowd in the dining room when the kitchen door opened and Noah came in with Charity. Charity held out her arms to her mother, who hugged her fiercely.
“Sorry I had to send you upstairs for a while, Cherry Bear,” Lizzie said.
“That's okay,” Charity replied. “I got a lot of my homework done.”
“I thought you were going to ask my mother to keep her a little longer,” Lizzie said to Noah.
“I did, and she said she would, but your father decided to bring her back because your mother wasn't feeling well.”
Lizzie sighed with exasperation and let Charity go. “I wish my mother would just tell us when she's ill. I know she thinks she's being a good soldier, but she could make Charity sick too.”
Noah grunted. “You know your mother. She wouldn't complain if her hair was on fire.”
Lizzie nodded. “You're probably right.”
Noah was clearly upset and didn't acknowledge my presence. His attention was fixed on Lizzie. “I wanted to go with Levi, but the men from the KBI wouldn't let me.”
“He'll be all right, Noah,” she said soothingly. “They said
they'd only keep him a couple of hours. Don't worry. They know he didn't do anything wrong.”
“I've got to call my parents and let them know what's going on. I don't know how I'm going to explain it.”
I looked over at Charity, whose large dark-brown eyes were wide with anxiety as she stared at her parents. Lizzie noticed her too.
“Callie, could you take Charity out to the dining room? Maybe you could get her a piece of pie.”
I nodded and quickly cut a piece of pie and a grabbed a fork. Then I motioned to Charity. “Let's go, honey.”
She followed me into the dining room without argument, and I sat her down at the only empty table in the room. I noticed that Ebbie, Hope, and Beau were just getting ready to leave. I hurried over to them.
“Ebbie, the road is open now, though it's still being patrolled by some of the men from the KBI. Could you let folks know?”
He nodded and walked to the middle of the room. Although it took a couple of tries to get everyone's attention, once he shared the news, people immediately began to leave. I quickly checked out the customers who hadn't paid yet, but within ten minutes, the room was empty except for Charity, Matthew, and me. Charity asked for a glass of milk, so I told her to stay put and headed for the kitchen. As I opened the door to the kitchen, I heard Noah say, “You've got to talk to her. And soon. She needs you to be honest with her.”
“I'm sorry,” I said quickly. “I need a glass of milk for Charity.”
“Oh, sure,” Noah said, looking uncomfortable. “I'll go out and tell everyone the road is open.”
“Don't worry about it. Ebbie already did.” I took the milk out of the refrigerator and got a clean glass out of the dishwasher.
“Thanks, Callie,” Lizzie said.
“By the way,” Noah said, “the KBI talked to Harold. Told him that he and Mercy weren't to describe what she saw to anyone. Specifically, they're not to mention the plastic around the body or exactly where the woman was found.”
Lizzie snorted. “As if Harold can keep a secret.”
“I know Harold's a gossip,” he said, “but all in all, he's a good man. He won't say anything. He wants this killer caught as much as anyone. Maybe more. Mercy will have to live with that awful image the rest of her life. That's got to be tough on a father.”
“Speaking of fathers,” I said, “how did your mother and stepfather take the news about Levi?”
Noah shook his head. “That's a call I never want to make again. They were shocked, of course. Marvin's first reaction was to drive over to the jail, but I encouraged him to wait. I doubt he'd get to talk to Levi anyway, and I don't think he needs the distraction. I told him we'd call if we heard from Levi first.”
I nodded and poured the milk into a glass. As I put the milk container back into the refrigerator, I could feel their eyes on me. Were they wondering if I'd overheard Noah's comment? Had they been talking about me? I wanted to ask them about it, but I couldn't. What if it had nothing to do with me, and I ended up looking ridiculous? I grabbed the glass and left the room.
I delivered the milk to Charity, who was sitting with her grandfather. “How about a piece of pie, Brother Matthew?” I asked.
“Thank you, Callie, but no,” he said. “Anna feeds me too much as it is.” He smiled at me, and I was struck by the difference in him over the past several months. He had definitely changed in some ways, although his earlier actions reminded me of the old Matthew.
I was trying to come up with a topic of conversation when I heard the kitchen door open. Lizzie and Noah came into the room.
“Are you hungry, Father?” Lizzie asked. I could hear the weariness in her voice. It had certainly been a tiring day. Emotionally and physically.
Matthew shook his head. “Callie has already offered me food. I am convinced you are all trying to fatten me up.”
Lizzie smiled, but Noah didn't.
“Levi is a good man, Matthew,” Noah said sharply. “He wasn't trying to avoid going with those men.”
Matthew sighed. “I did not mean to make it sound as if he was resisting. Perhaps I was not careful enough with my words. My intent was simply to encourage him not to fight their request.”
Lizzie sat down at the table with us. “We should all be praying for Leviâand trying to help officials find the person who committed this horrible crime.”
“I agree,” Matthew said. “The idea that something like this could come so close to us . . .” He shook his head. “It is hard to accept.”