Unforgettable Embrace (39 page)

"Gosh, I almost look thin," Rachel said, staring at herself in the mirror.

"You are thin," Liz said, "you've lost quite a bit of weight in the last few weeks."

"I haven't felt like eating much since the hen weekend," Rachel admitted. "I lost my appetite with all the worry about whether or not Batt's going to finish our relationship."

"I'm glad you've decided to sort it out one way or the other at the wedding," Liz said.

"Everything ok in there, Jen?" Liz called to her friend, who seemed to be taking a long time to get into her dress.

"Not really," Jen answered in a quiet voice, emerging from the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" Rachel asked, her face full of concern for her friend. "The dress is too loose!" Jen said. "It looks like I've lost weight since I bought it."

"Rachel's lost weight, you've lost weight, I'm going to feel like a chubby butt next to you two skinnies," Liz said.

"Never mind who's skinnier than whom," Jen said, slightly irritated, "my dress doesn't look right."

"Come and stand in the middle of the room," Rachel said, "walk up and down slowly and we'll see how it looks."

Jen proceeded to model the dress for her friends.

"Hmm, it does look quite loose on top," Liz agreed.

"I don't really relish the prospect of having a boob pop out of my dress on my wedding day," Jen said. "I can't walk more than a few steps without the top slipping."

"Nothing that a few stitches can't fix," Liz said. "If you get me a needle and thread, I can adjust it for you in no time."

"Oh, thanks so much, Liz," Jen said in relief, "you're a life saver."

Chapter 54

"I think you should get married more often, Jen," Liz smiled over at her friend as they were having their nails manicured and pedicured.

"I hope this is my first and last marriage," Jen replied, "but it so much fun, isn't it?"

"It's almost worth getting married just for all the beauty treatments, the dress and the honeymoon," Rachel grinned.

"Oh, I can't wait for the honeymoon," Jen sighed dreamily. "I still can't believe we're going to Hawaii."

"It's going to be fabulous," Liz agreed.

"Yeah," Rachel said, "I'm seriously considering hiding in your luggage as a stow
- away."

****

"Blush pink nail polish for everyone please," Jen asked the beautician.

"Perfect choice," the beautician smiled at her.

"It's amazing the details us women have to consider," Liz mused as the beautician delicately painted her nails.

"Men will never appreciate what we have to endure to look so good," Rachel laughed.

"I know, it's almost unbearable," Jen sighed theatrically, "manicures, pedicures, fake tans, facials, hair appointments, it's never-ending."

"It's all in the detail ladies," their beautician, Claudia, chimed in, "every detail adds to the overall look."

"I find it very therapeutic, actually," Jen said, "and it's nice to know you've made an effort to look your best."

"Exactly," Claudia agreed.

"Now, who's first for their fake tan?"

"My nails are almost dry so I suppose I'll go first," Rachel offered.

****

"I've never been so embarrassed in all my life," Rachel hissed at her friends who were in hysterics of laughter.

"You two didn't tell me I'd be stark naked except for a pair of unsightly paper knickers while the beautician sprayed my body in fake tan."

"Well, what did you expect?" Jen gasped in between chuckles.

"Did you think you'd be fully clothed?" Liz cried, clutching her side, where she had developed a stitch from laughing so hard.

"I thought I'd have my own room and some machine would spray me in a booth like they have on television," Rachel said, looking at her friends' laughing faces in annoyance."

"This isn't Hollywood," Jen giggled.

"I realise that this isn't Hollywood, thank you, Jen, but you could have told me what was ahead of me," Rachel said indignantly.

"We thought you knew," Liz chuckled. Rachel's indignation just made her friends laugh even more.

"I'll be having a coffee in the restaurant," Rachel said, storming off, "you two can join me when you've calmed down."

The three friends sat in the window seat sipping coffee and exchanging stories about their most embarrassing moments. Liz and Jen had finally composed themselves enough to actually manage to string more than a few words together.

"Surely that wasn't the most embarrassed you've ever been in your life?" Liz asked Rachel, still trying to stifle her giggles.

"Maybe not the most embarrassing," Rachel admitted reluctantly, "but let's talk about your most embarrassing moments. I think I've made you two laugh enough at my expense for one day."

"So go on then Liz, tell us one of your most embarrassing moments," Jen chuckled.

"Hmm, let me think," Liz mused. "Well, I remember I went through a thong phase a few years ago. I'm usually an advocate of comfortable knickers or support knickers, you know the type that hold
s in all your lumps and bumps, well I decided to experiment with some sexy undies. I went and spent a small fortune in a specialist underwear boutique and was the proud owner of some of the most beautiful lacy, frilly thongs you could imagine."

"What inspired your underwear style change?" Jen asked curiously.

"I hadn't had a boyfriend in a while, and I wasn't feeling very sexy, so after chatting with a few of the women at work they advised that I should try changing my underwear. Apparently, according to some women's magazines, if you feel sexy underneath then you'll send out a sexy aura, so I thought I'd give it a try," Liz explained.

"Interesting," Rachel said, "I can understand the psychology behind the idea."

"Yeah," Jen agreed, "when I am wearing a new dress, I like to buy new underwear to match it. There's nothing worse than wearing old, shabby undies and a beautiful outfit on top."

"Exactly," Liz continued, "so I went out and spent a small fortune on undies, specifically thongs, don't ask me why. Monday morning arrived and I chose my prettiest, frilliest bra with matching thong and trotted off to work. I must admit that I felt quite sexy and a little bit naughty. Anyway, I was going about my business, and I noticed I was getting more attention than usual. I thought to myself that this sexy underwear theory really works."

"How's that embarrassing?" Rachel asked in disgust.

"I'm not finished yet," Liz said.

"Ok, continue," Jen said, hanging on Liz's every word.

"Well, I was teaching my sixth year students and they kept laughing and sniggering. I really couldn't understand what was so hilarious about geographical landmass movements, usually it's quite sobering. Anyway, I turned to the class and asked them directly what exactly was so funny and would they like to share the joke. My request resulted in uproarious laughter and I stood there looking at them. It was only my threat of giving them all detention that forced one of them to say the joke was me and she told me to have a look at myself in the mirror. I excused myself and went to the ladies bathroom, only to discover that I had tucked my blouse into my gorgeous thong and yanked my thong half way up my back for the whole world to see!"

"Oh my God," Jen clapped her hand over her mouth.

"You win," Rachel laughed. "I suppose that's one way of letting the world know that you've turned over a sexy new leaf."

"Yeah, I feel sorry for you sometimes, Liz, having to face teenagers every day," Jen said, "any fashion faux pas you make is out there for the kids' comments and ridicule. I remember we used to tease some of our female teachers mercilessly. I had a very cool history teacher though, Miss Brew. She arrived into school one day wearing two left shoes. We were in hysterics and she just stood there at the top of the room and said "yes, I know, I'm wearing two left shoes. It was dark when I left the house this morning and I was in a rush. So, go on then, have a good laugh, get it out of your systems and then we'll get on with our lesson." She was quite cool actually."

Liz and Rachel chuckled along with their friend.

"Your turn, Jen, what's the most embarrassing experience you've ever had," Liz probed her friend.

"Don't think telling us about your teacher's embarrassing moment is going to make us forget about you."

"I haven't really had too many embarrassing moments, actually," Jen said, thinking.

"Oh, come on, I don't believe you," Rachel exclaimed.

"Ok, ok, I can think of one," Jen said, grinning to herself at the memory. "When I was a teenager I went through a phase of wanting to have platinum blonde hair."

"What?" Liz cried, "you as a blonde, that definitely would not suit your colouring."

"It didn't suit me one iota," Jen smiled, remembering her hair disaster. "I was obsessed with the idea and so excited at a new look. I did loads of research on the internet and then I took myself off to my local hair and beauty shop and picked up my products. I still recall the colours; I got a box of bleach and a light ash blonde hair colour to put over it. I did the sensitivity test and the hair strand test and thought I was good to go. I didn't have any reaction to the dye and the strand test turned out a lovely shade of light blonde.

So I mixed the bleach and the peroxide together, smothered my hair in the mixture, popped a shower cap on my head and sat and watched television for an hour while it developed. When my timer went off an hour later, I skipped off happily to the bathroom to rinse off my hair and lo and behold I was looking at a bright, neon orange head of hair, not the lovely blonde hair I'd expected.

I screamed in shock and told myself to calm down and stick the light ash blonde on my hair and everything would be fine. So I sat around for another hour, hoping and praying with my fingers crossed that my hair would be ok. Well, I couldn't resist peeping under my hat, and my hair had turned from orange to blue and finally purple. I read on the internet that those colours were normal and that when I'd finally rinse my hair it would be a decent colour. I couldn't get into the shower fast enough to rinse off all the dye.

I looked in the mirror and my hair was a tangled mess. I blow dried it and straightened it and the orange colour was gone but I was left with hair the colour of straw and it felt so dry and parched. My gorgeous silky, shiny black hair was now a tangled, yellow mess. I was devastated. I walked around for a few weeks wearing a hat, everyone thought I'd gone bonkers.

I remember my so-called best friend at the time pulled the hat off my head in assembly one morning and my whole class mocked me for a week afterwards. I was called all sorts of names, from scarecrow to clown, total and utter mortification. I spent a fortune on expensive conditioners and treatments and had to cut about three inches off the ends of my hair cos it had split quite badly.

Eventually I dyed it back to my own colour and promised myself that I would never attempt to go blonde again."

"There's nothing worse than having a hair disaster," Liz sympathised.

"You're so lucky, Jen, your natural hair colour is beautiful and it suits you perfectly," Rachel said.

"Is it me or is there a funny smell in here?" Rachel asked, sniffing the air.

"It's you," Jen said.

Rachel looked horrified, "I had a shower this morning and sprayed deodorant and perfume." "It's all of us, actually," Liz said, taking pity on her friend's horrified face. "We all reek of fake tan," Jen explained.

"It smells like old biscuits or something gone off," Rachel said, smelling her arm dramatically. "Yep, definitely fake tan," Liz said. "I don't understand why they haven't invented a fake tan that smells more pleasant."

"They try to trick us with the initial smell, which recently has smelled of apricots or fruit but about an hour after it starts to develop this horrible smell begins to overpower your nose," Jen wrinkled up her nose in disgust.

"It's really starting to get up my nose," Rachel said, "how long until the smell goes?"

"When you have your shower tomorrow morning you should start smelling normal again," Liz said.

"Can't I shower tonight before I go to bed?" Rachel asked.

"No, you have to leave it to set properly on your skin and that usually takes about twenty four hours," Jen explained.

"I hope it'll be worth it," Rachel sighed, "this smell is almost unbearable. I can taste it in my mouth now."

"It will definitely be worth it," Liz smiled reassuringly at her friend. "You'll have the most gorgeous golden glow tomorrow morning. You'll look like you just came back from a two week sun holiday."

"Considering I have never had a tan in my life, I'm not too sure how I'm going to look," Rachel said nervously.

"Trust us, it will be a lot more attractive than having pasty white skin."