Unforgivable (17 page)

They both laughed, though it was a softer laugh. Katie would probably never know who fathered her, and she wasn’t sure she cared. All right, sometimes she cared a little.

He ran the tips of his fingers over the top of her hair, sweeping it out of her face. Even that innocent gesture made her shiver. “I thought I’d be like a big brother to you, you know, take care of you and all. It didn’t work out that way.”

She could hardly breathe as the feel of his fingertips contradicted his words. She wasn’t feeling at all sisterly about him. She wanted to crawl in his lap and put her arms around him. She tightened her fingers around the top of the bench to keep herself in place.

“Why do you keep notes on serial killers?”

He looked up for a moment, thinking. “I can’t really explain it. It’s like an obsession, I guess. I want to know what makes a human being cross the line into inhumanity. What makes him not kill one day and kill the next.”

“Why is crime writing who you are, Silas?” 

He rested his hand only inches from her hand on the back of the bench. “When you live in the dark too long, the dark begins to live inside you.”

Before thinking about it, she covered his hand with hers. “Then walk away. Look into the light.”

He started to lean forward, as though to kiss her. His mouth, in fact, hovered over hers for a fraction until he completed the movement and got to his feet. He reached behind his neck and unclasped the gold chain. He held the chain in his grip, and the cross swung like a pendulum at the end. “Your mom gave this to me the day after she had you. She wanted me to have it as a thank you for helping her. I hid it from my dad for years, knowing he’d hock it for cash. I’d planned to give it to you later, and then when I came back to town years ago. It didn’t seem like the right time, and I’m not sure how Ben would have reacted anyway. I want you to have it now.”

He held it out to her. She watched the cross swing toward her, then back to Silas. Her heart caved in at the gesture, and at the thought of having something of her mother’s. “But it’s yours,” she said in a hoarse voice. “She gave it to you.”

“I was just keeping it for you. Wear it to ward off evil.”

She’d seen him touch it in a subconscious gesture and wondered if he really felt that way about it. “Put it on me. Please.”

He hesitated, then stepped forward and reached around her. She was woman enough to admit that’s what she wanted, him to stand close and make her feel…well, like a woman. She also wanted the symbolism of him putting it on her, transferring the gift. He smelled awfully clean for someone who had no running water. She wondered if he bathed in the creek that ran through their properties. His chin nearly touched her nose as he finished the clasp and stepped back.

It still felt warm from his body heat. She touched the bars of the cross. “Have you worn this for long?”

“Since my father died.”

“Wait, I have something for you, too.”

She went into the house to the tune of his protests. After rummaging in her jewelry case, she returned with a quartz crystal. “Crystals are supposed to have special powers. Let’s believe this one will chase away the darkness.” 

“I can’t take that. You keep it.”

“But why? You gave me this.”

“It’s just…I can’t.” He closed his hand over hers with the crystal in her palm. “I want you to have this, too.” He handed her a wrinkled piece of paper with a phone number on it. “It’s my beeper.”

“Why do you have a beeper?”

“So my editor can get hold of me while I’m on assignment. It’s easier than giving him a lot of different numbers. And I don’t have a phone here, just my cell phone, which I don’t keep on all the time. If you need me, page me. Leave a 911 and I’ll be right over.”

She wrapped the paper around the crystal. “You won’t owe me anything if I give this to you, you know. If that’s what you’re worried about.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a gift, that’s all. I don’t expect anything from you.”

He still didn’t take the crystal. “That’s what a gift is.”

“There’s a price for everything, Silas. What they say about there being no free lunch, it’s true. Everything has a price tag on it, an expectation. That’s obviously what you think, that if I give you something, there’s some sort of expectation. I’m just saying there isn’t.”

He looked into her eyes and said, “God, Katie.” He ran his hand back through his hair and looked away for a moment. “I’d better go. Being around you is…harder than I thought it would be.”

He started to step away, but she grabbed his arm. “What do you mean? Am I a horrible person? Tell me, Silas. I need to know. Is that why no one in town likes me, because there’s something wrong with me?”

He closed his eyes, and she saw the muscles in his jaw tic. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“There must be. You just said being around me is hard.”

He opened his eyes and took her wrists in his hands. Her knuckles brushed against his stomach. “Being around you is hard because…I don’t want to want you, Katie. I don’t want to lose myself in you. I don’t want to kiss you again. That’s not why I’m here.” 

“Why are you here?” she whispered, her voice breaking at everything he’d said. He wanted her. He wanted to kiss her.

“To warn you to be careful. To make sure you’re safe.”

“From what? You’re confusing me. Safe from what?”

His gaze scanned her face, and his voice was low and deadly. “From someone out there who’s hunting women for sport, the man who killed Carrie Druthers and a lot of other women just because he enjoys doing it, because he can. He’s been watching you, Katie. And it’s someone you know.”

When the phone rang, all the blood rushed to her head and nearly wiped her out. She sagged against Silas for a moment before catching her balance. “I’ve got to get that. It’s probably Ben.”

Her shoulder bumped against the doorjamb as she made her way inside. “Hello?”

“Hi, honey. Just checking to see if everything’s all right. You sound a little breathless.”

“I was in the shower. Ran to get the phone.” She was facing the kitchen, not wanting to see Silas while she spoke to Ben. “I’m fine.”

“Has Silas bothered you at all?”

She nearly jumped when he appeared in the open doorway. He pushed the door closed, locked it, and walked toward her with a determined look on his face. He looked bigger inside her house than he had on the darkened porch. His hands brushed by her shoulders as he passed her and went into the kitchen. Then he walked outside and closed the door quietly behind him.

“Katie, what’s wrong? You didn’t answer me. Has Silas been there?”

She swallowed, though it felt like goose feathers coated her throat. “No, but….” Headlights slashed across the living room again. “Someone’s here.”

“Keep me on the phone. See who it is.”

She walked woodenly to the door and saw Gary’s Explorer. She locked the door and went to the window where she’d just been talking to Silas. 

“What do you want?” she asked, holding the phone where he could see it.

“I was just heading home and checked again. Silas’s car is there, but he’s not. Which means he’s around here somewhere. Do you want me to check around the house?”

“No, I’m fine, thank you. The house is locked tight and I’ve got Ben’s beeper number if anything comes up.” But it wasn’t Ben’s number on the paper still clutched in her damp palm.

“He’s a long while away, Katie. You should be calling me if you hear anything.”

“I will. Thank you.” She closed the window.

“Was that Tate?” Ben asked.

“It was Gary. He’s already been by once.”

“Well, you didn’t sound very grateful that he was checking on you. Thank him right now. Before he leaves.”

“I don’t like him, Ben.”

“He’s doing his job making sure you’re okay. Now thank him.” Ben’s voice went firm, as though he were talking to a child.

She glanced into the kitchen. “No, Ben, I will not. Goodnight.”

She dropped the phone on the couch as though it were a hot potato and released a deep breath. She’d stood up for herself. She’d seen a glimmer of that feisty little girl who had impressed Silas so much. The phone started ringing again, and she answered it with a wan, “I’m sorry I spoke to you like that.”

She stood in the doorway and looked out at the darkness. If Silas was out there, he was well hidden. He’d obviously seen Gary pull up and didn’t want to be seen there with her. Thank God for that. Gary would delight in telling Ben about her visitor.

She finished her conversation, adding yet another apology at the end. The glimmer had faded. She curled up on the couch and touched the cross. Silas’s explanation of his research sounded plausible. But he was right; he was dangerous. Because she’d stood on the porch with him knowing he was holding secrets and pain close to him. Because she’d wanted to kiss him. He’d not only awakened the feisty girl inside her, but he was also awakening a woman she didn’t even know. 

She glanced out the window, hoping he would return. What did he mean that someone meant to hurt her? Someone she knew? She shivered. Was Ben the only man she could trust?

CHAPTER 10

Silas watched Harold pull down Katie’s driveway. He’d give the guy five minutes, then he’d follow. Luckily, within three minutes the old truck emerged. She was sitting as far away from him as possible.

He’d rather be the one taking her to work, but that would cause more trouble. This way, he could make sure she was all right without interfering. Besides, being alone with her was not a good thing. Last night had proved that, if he’d needed the proof.

The police tail was on him, too. Gary was enjoying the game of chase, and probably soaking up the fact that it looked as though Silas was following Katie. Everyone had their obsession. He was apparently Gary’s. Once she was safely at the hospital, Silas played a little game of his own and lost Gary. He knew some of these back roads better than anyone. Roads that hadn’t existed in years. Then he circled back to town and headed to Gary’s apartment.

Silas had ideas on who The Ghost was. Some of them he didn’t like, but he couldn’t exclude anyone…even himself. Gary’s persistence parlayed him into the role of suspect. And while Gary was no doubt checking on his past, Silas was going to do some checking of his own.

One of those things he wasn’t proud of in his past was now going to come in handy. He pulled out the lock pick kit and after a moment, the apartment Gary lived in was open to his perusal. The place was bachelor messy with beat up furniture and faded carpet. A mechanic’s magazine covered three
Playboys
on the coffee table. The satellite dish was tuned to one of those adult channels.

There wasn’t anything criminal about a guy amusing himself. Silas needed a lot more than that. He found an old gun under Gary’s mattress. Hiking boots in the closet with leaves and mud in the treads. Could have been hunting or hiking. No other shoes but his own. The Ghost was too smart to leave something like that around. That’s why he left them on the side of the road, pointing to no one.

What did bother him was finding a picture of Katie in the dresser drawer. She’d been standing in a group of people, maybe with the Emersons on a family outing. She’d been about twelve or thirteen. Her picture had been trimmed away from the rest of the people, singling her out.

Silas had relocked the door just in case, but was still surprised to hear a key being inserted into it. There wasn’t much room to hide in a one-bedroom apartment. He dove under the bed. It was most likely Gary’s shoes he saw walking purposefully into the bedroom. He heard noises, and then heard him take a leak. 

That’s when Silas noticed the picture he’d dropped on the floor in front of the dresser. He hoped Gary wouldn’t notice it, too. His boots went right by it…at first. Before Silas could even draw a breath in relief, Gary backed up and stood by the picture. Then picked it up. 

“What the hell…” 

Silas couldn’t believe he’d been found out so fast when he felt the mattress lift. The fact that it dropped back down wasn’t so comforting, either. Gary had taken his gun and thrown open the closet door. Silas started surveying his hiding place. The bed sat up high, with wooden frames down the sides. He pulled himself up against the bottom of the bed by holding onto the boards of the frame. His fingers poked through the flimsy fabric. He braced his feet in the far corners and sucked in his breath. If Gary found him, he’d probably get away with shooting him under some pretext or another. Who would care if he shot a suspected serial killer?

Katie had brought a sandwich with her to avoid a repeat of yesterday’s visit to the diner. She had another task in mind for lunch anyway: a visit to the library. It was a long trek in the hot summer sun once she cleared the shady comfort of the cemetery. The long, black pants didn’t help, nor did the colorful vest she’d worn over her white shirt. She wondered what people would think if she’d worn the yellow hip huggers and flower shirt. Harold was outside working on the old wagon. She avoided meeting his gaze.

Silas wanted to kiss her. He wanted her.

Those thoughts had kept her up most of the night. It was the first time she’d seen that kind of desire in a man’s eyes. The kind of desire that made a woman feel sexy and warm all over. She passed the shopping strip that housed the diner. Before she could stop herself, she scanned the busy parking lot for Silas’s vehicle. It wasn’t there. People walked together toward the diner, chatting and laughing. The sign was still in the window pleading for help at the fair. She was an outcast in her own town. She touched the gold cross as she held up her head and walked on by.

By the time she reached the library, she was covered in a layer of perspiration. She pulled her hair back with her hand as she walked inside the cool interior, then remembered the birthmark and released her hair. It obviously bothered Ben. Mostly she’d gotten used to it.

The librarian gave her a prim nod before going back to whatever it was she was doing. Katie took out books from time to time, mysteries mostly, though she didn’t know anyone who worked there. Like most of Flatland’s residents, they seemed to regard Katie as an outsider not worthy of getting to know.