Unforgivable (38 page)

“That’s another thing: how you can be cold and mean one minute, and then be the nicest, warmest person in the world the next? How you can change your feelings like a dimmer switch. What’s real?”

“I’m real, and we’re real.”

“How can you say that? You’ve kept me in this marriage by manipulating me with guilt. While you’ve been out forging friendships, I’ve been stuck home alone in the woods. Those people at the fair were saying I was a terrible person. Maybe I am. I feel terrible and selfish, but I want out, Ben. Out of my life, out of our marriage, a marriage that isn’t even legal. I can’t do this anymore.”

All that warmth seeped right out of his expression, vilifying her decision. “Everyone’s been telling me for years that you don’t deserve me. I kept saying it wasn’t true, that they just didn’t know you like I did. But they were right. You’re trash. I should have left you at the trailer park where the rest of the trash lives. You could have lived underneath one of the trailers like an abandoned dog. Someone might have thrown you scraps, and you would have bitten them the first chance you got. Now I know why the Emersons didn’t want you. Why your mom left you. I couldn’t see what everyone else saw because I was blinded by love. You’ve ripped away my blinders, sweetheart.” He swept her with a derisive look, but she kept her chin up. “I know trash when I see it.”

When he turned to leave, they were both stunned to see their previous client standing in the doorway. Mrs. Pullman looked just as stunned.

“I’d decided to get that flea treatment you suggested. I…guess I’ll get it later.” She left.

Ben looked even more infuriated. “Now you’ve humiliated me in front of someone else. Just grind me farther into the dirt with your heel. That’s what you’re good at.” He slammed the door behind him and took off in the van.

It seemed like a long time before Katie felt herself breathe, really breathe. Fifteen minutes later she stared at the door and ran the unbelievable conversation through her mind again. It was over. Everything she felt had a sharper edge to it: fear, joy, hope. No matter that she had no place to go, freedom sent a rush of exhilaration through her. For the first time in years, life held possibilities beyond Flatlands, beyond being Ben’s wife, beyond paying for every kindness. Asking him for a divorce was the first time she’d taken something for herself…besides making love with Silas. The first time she’d made a choice. 

She didn’t want to think about where Silas would fit into this new life of hers. If he would at all. The only shadow was that she knew she’d have to face Ben again. He wouldn’t give up that easily. How far would he go to keep her with him? The phone finally shook her out of her trance.

Silas’s voice sounded so welcome, she slid into the chair. “You okay?” he asked. She could hear his radio in the background and the sounds of the vehicle’s engine.

What had he felt from her just then? She smiled “I’m all right. For the first time in a long, long time, I’m all right. I just took my life back, and I can’t tell you how good it feels. Then again, I don’t have to, do I?”

“You don’t sound too upset about that.”

“Maybe I’m getting used to it. What did you feel?”

He paused, as though absorbing her acceptance. “A whole bunch of feelings. Not all of them were good.”

“I just lost a husband. That’s the good part. Having nowhere to go, no way to support myself, that would qualify as the bad part. What about you, Silas? You lost your dog. Are you all right?”

“I’m trying to tell myself how old The Boss was, how it was his time to go. He was in pain. What do you mean by losing a husband and taking your life back?”

“I asked—no, told—Ben I wanted a divorce. He stormed out of here.”

For a moment, he just contemplated that. “I’m proud of you, Katie.”

“I’d be prouder if I’d done it a long time ago.” She considered telling him that The Boss may not have died a natural death, but decided to wait on that. “Where are you?”

“I’m investigating some ghosts.”

“Want some company?”

“No, I’ve got to do this myself.” He paused, giving her hope that he’d change his mind. “Katie, I want you to come back to Atlanta with me.”

The statement stunned her. “Really?”

“I want you out of this place. I want you safe and away from all these people. I want you to be happy. Look, I’ve got to go. We’ll talk about it later.”

She curled her fingers around the phone. “Okay.” The other line rang in. “I’d better get that.”

“These fires are moving in pretty fast. Keep your ear to the radio, okay? I’ll be back for you as soon as I can.”

That next call was the first of three she’d get that day, canceling appointments because of the fires. Two were readying their spreads and one was gathering people to help those closest to the fires. She didn’t even bother to volunteer to help.

Silas wanted to take her to Atlanta with him. The offer scared and excited her at the same time. There was nothing in Flatlands to keep her there now. If she could pack up her squirrels, life would be perfect.

Or would it be? What was Silas offering her exactly? He wanted to take care of her, to make her safe. Like he had with Celine. Not that she feared disappearing. What she feared most was not being with Silas in the real sense of the word. If he continued to pursue his dark career and push away her love, where would she be?

Luckily they weren’t boarding any animals at the time, so she didn’t have to worry about evacuating them. However, she did have herself to think of. A few weeks ago, she would have seen the fire as the force that might have ended her life just as her mother’s life was ended at twenty-seven. Like her mother, she had too much to live for now.

She unplugged the computer that held all their records and set it near the door for easy evacuation. She took a long look at the place that had once been a refuge, where she’d visited Boots and where the kind Ben made her earn the kitten’s keep. It had never occurred to her before that he never made other people pay for his benevolent services. He often gave them away without expecting a thing in return.

Because he’d wanted her for himself. Now that she’d stepped out of her old life, it was as clear as air. He’d kept her isolated at home and at his side at work. 

She stepped outside to assess the situation. Roiling dark smoke obliterated the northern sky. Once in a while the smoke would thin enough to let a stream of sunshine through, and then it would thicken again. It was hard to believe that behind all that ugliness lay the pure, bright sun. Just like her life. 

Black ashes drifted through the air. The smoke muted the sun into soft, diffused light, and cast everything in shades of orange. It wasn’t real anymore. Her world, her life, everything had taken on a surreal cast.

Two helicopters toted buckets of water, and a small plane flew overhead to douse the flames. Her chest tightened when she realized just how close the flames were. This wasn’t one of those fires that happen out in the scrublands or in some other town. This fire was heading toward Flatlands. How close would it get? People’s lives would be ruined, their hopes and dreams and homes. She didn’t care about the house she’d never considered a home, but what about her dreams and her life?

She pulled out the piece of paper and paged Silas. She put 911 at the end of it as he’d told her to. She waited. Waited some more. Sent another page. Checked the phone lines to make sure they were still operating. Silas was her protector; why wasn’t he returning her page?

She wondered if he could feel the fear growing inside her. She walked to the cemetery, taking in the gravestones in case she never saw them again. She glanced toward the far reaches, where the mound had caught her eye before. She’d forgotten all about it.

She walked toward it, moving farther away from the hospital. Something crunched beneath her shoe. Bones were scattered on the ground. Not a bird, but another hapless creature. She jerked away, her old superstition rearing its head. Dread tightened her chest and added to the smoky dryness of her throat.

In the distance, camouflaged by the smoke, it almost looked as though a fresh grave had been dug. That couldn’t be. Who would have been here lately? Surely not The Ghost, who disposed of his victims so thoroughly.

Despite the omen that tightened her chest, she walked farther into the recesses of the woods. There it was, a fresh grave surrounded by orange dirt. And a few yards beyond that, the mound that had caught her eye in the first place. That one wasn’t as obvious. In fact, there wasn’t anything wrong with it; a layer of old leaves covered it the same way it covered some of the other unmarked graves way back here. Except the leaves looked different. Arranged.

She dropped to her knees before the fresh grave and started digging with her hands.

Ashes stuck to Silas’s windshield, and the world had an eerie orange glow to it. A helicopter flew overhead carrying an orange bucket of water to the fires. A wall of smoke billowed into the sky in the distance. At the juncture of the highways leading out of town, the police turned back everyone but residents. Silas turned around and headed back, sure he’d probably missed the road.

He found it on the way back. The road was overgrown by weeds, and wild blackberry bushes camouflaged the red gate. The gate was locked with an old padlock that wasn’t old enough to have been put there by his father. He left his vehicle parked by the gate and walked into the woods.

The feel of death permeated the place, just as it had years before. The old, red barn was set a good distance from the road. The only thing left of the house that had once been there was a stone chimney. It was still blackened by the fire that had claimed the place years before Silas had moved there. 

Some of the weeds were crushed, evidence of a recent visitor. The distant sound of a fire engine alarm whined. His eyes burned from the smoke. Maybe the fire would eat this place up. He should have burned it long ago. 

It wasn’t Flatlands that made him keep this land for so long. It was Katie. Now she would return to Atlanta with him and his life would be complete. She’d be his at last, something he’d been wanting for longer than he’d admit. But if she belonged to him, wouldn’t that mean that he belonged to her?

He slid his hand in his pocket and pulled out the crystal she’d given him. He ran his finger along the smooth edge. He was the selfish one. He wanted her, but didn’t—couldn’t give himself back. He slid the crystal back in his pocket and approached the barn. The windows had been boarded up, something he knew his father hadn’t done.

The door was padlocked too, but the old wood gave way after several sharp pushes on the door. It was dark and musty inside. He left the door open so some light could get in, but between the woods and the smoke, it was still dark. As soon as he stepped inside, he felt the other darkness. It was the darkness that lived in the souls of the men he studied.

  The kind that lived in his soul.

He didn’t remember there being a bed here, and that bed gave him the willies. He realized why with the force of terror. The flashes he’d seen from the killer’s eyes. This was where he tied the girls up. 

Silas stumbled backward. At first he thought the clang and the stunning pain in his head were part of the terror. He tried to turn around to see who had hit him, but his legs gave way. His vision blurred and his thoughts rattled around in his head.

Everything went black. 

CHAPTER  21

Katie had burst into tears at the sight of The Boss’s ear poking through the dirt she’d clawed through. This was where Silas had buried him, in her cemetery. She pushed the dirt back now, feeling silly for her dread. 

Her tear-stained gaze alighted on the mound farther back. She wished she could take one fresh breath of air. Her mouth tasted like an ashtray. She glanced back toward the hospital building, now in the smoky distance. She should wait there for Silas. He had to be here anytime now.

She pushed herself to her feet and walked farther back. This was probably going to be nothing but her overactive imagination, but she was compelled to push away the layer of leaves. Beneath that the dirt was loose. She should go back and wait, go back…

Her hands, already covered in orange dirt, started digging again. She didn’t have to go far when she spotted the swath of denim. She tugged on it, and eventually it came free of the dirt. It was a faded pair of overalls. Tucked in the pocket was a gold ring and cheap watch. Her chest squeezed tight as she continued digging. Beneath one sneaker lay a pink uniform—it still bore the tag that read “Geraldine.”

She stumbled backward, making unintelligible noises. She bolted through the cemetery toward the intersection leading to town. A flashing light and cluster of trucks injected her with hope. People. Safety.

She could hardly breathe when she reached the road where Sheriff Tate was setting up a roadblock to keep people from taking the road that went past her and Silas’s house. Harold was parked nearby, his truck loaded with what must be the most valuable items from his junk barn. His pit bull stared at her from the passenger seat. Two other men were setting out barricades.

“The grave,” she gasped, leaning against Tate’s car. 

The men continued with what they were doing as though she were invisible. Tate’s radio crackled with one of the deputy’s voices. “Mrs. Thorne’s barricaded herself in her house,” Tate told Harold.

She tugged on Tate’s sleeve. “I found Geraldine’s clothing.”

He finally looked her way. “Where’s Ben?”

“I…don’t know.” Her chest hurt so badly, she could hardly talk.

“As you can see, we’re a little tied up at the moment trying to save property and life. If you’d treated your husband better, maybe he’d be around to help you. I suggest you get on over to the diner where some of the families are gathering and seeing if you can catch a ride out of town. This thing”—he nodded toward the wall of smoke—“it’s coming to town and you don’t want to be here when it does.”

“I’ll see what she wants,” Harold told Tate. “Then I’ll head over to the Thorne place and see what I can do.”