Unforgiven (Wanderers #3) (51 page)

“Oh, sorry,” he said, dropping his arm.

I giggled. “It’s not you, well, some of it is,” I
winked. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close to
him.

“You want to get out of here?”

“Not yet, but soon,” I said, pushing up on my tiptoes
to kiss his lips.

I spent most of the party with Roman and watched
while Josie flirted shamelessly with Lucas. Every now and then I
would look over my shoulder. I wasn’t sure if it was natural
paranoia or the fact that last time Mackenzie played a prank on me
and I was trying to keep an eye out, making sure I stayed as far
away from her as possible. As if she knew I was thinking about her,
she strolled by, smirking. She was latched on to Dean and it took
all I had not to throw up right where I stood. I glowered at him,
letting him know I was not pleased with his choice of date for the
evening. I thought I made it clear that it was not necessary for
him to continue with the plan and we would come up with a new one,
but Dean never did listen.

I also noticed Cameron and Austin were on opposite
sides of the room and while Mackenzie’s attention was on Dean, his
was on Cameron. “Hey, is everything okay with you and Austin?” I
asked her.

“Yeah, he’s just being a dick as usual. He’s still
pissed I left without saying anything and he thinks I cheated on
him.”

“What, that’s crazy? Why would he think that?” She
just shrugged. “Besides, it’s not like there was anyone you could
have cheated on him with I mean there was Dean, but that would
never even be an option,” I laughed.

Cameron laughed. “Yeah, right,” she said with a soft
tone.

“Well, he’ll get over it. If not his loss.”

“Thanks Ella,” she said, smiling kindly.

Shortly after, Roman and I had decided to make our
way out of the party so we could spend some time alone. “Leaving so
soon?” Lucas asked as we said our goodbyes.

“I’m not so much in the mood for a party,” I
admitted.

“That’s a shame. I was hoping to get to know you
better,” he smiled charmingly.

“Maybe some other time,” I said, clinging closer to
Roman, who to my surprise was keeping his cool. Lucas smiled and
turned back around. I pushed Roman out of the room wanting to get
as far away as I could from Lucas. I didn’t know what it was about
him, but something set me on edge and until I could figure out what
his deal was, I was going to keep my distance.

Roman mistook my rush to get out of there as sign for
us to hurry back to the room. He yanked me up the steps so fast I
thought he was going to pull my arm out of the socket. “I can’t run
that fast in heels,” I complained, afraid I’d break my ankle. Roman
stopped and gestured for me to hop on his back. He carried me up
the last two flights of stairs. I giggled as he ran down the hall
to my room. I handed him the key to unlock the door and then jumped
off his back.

Once inside he slammed the door shut and pushed me up
against it attacking me with his lips. He had my clothes off in
record time. I laughed at his eagerness and walked over to the bed
signaling him to follow me with my finger. He hopped on one foot
trying to get off his shoes. He was naked before he even hit the
bed. I pulled him down on top of me and he didn’t waste any time
showing me just how much he loved me.

When it was over, I held him close, savoring the
moment. I was content and I didn’t want this feeling to go away.
Afraid it would be a while before we got this chance again, Roman
took advantage of me all, night, long.

I found myself in an unfamiliar forest, walking
around barefoot, and wearing a tattered dress. As the scene played
out before me, I knew this felt familiar, even though I didn’t know
where I was. I knew there was someone else there too, but I wasn’t
going to run. “Tristan?” I called out, wondering if this was his
doing. After the last nightmare he left me in, I wouldn’t be
surprised.

I walked a little further, trying to take in my
surroundings. I heard a rustling to my left and I froze. I looked
over to see that it was just a tree frog. I took another step and
then another gathering my bearings. When I reached a clearing, I
stood there, remembering this same one in a dream I had last year.
“Tristan, if this is your idea of some sick joke you can knock it
off,” I yelled, trying to get him to expose himself. He was the
only other person who knew about the dream.

When he didn’t come out and reveal himself, I stood
there with my arms crossed and huffed. I tried to wake myself up,
but I was stuck. I felt something long and slimy slither across my
foot. My eyes darted down in time to see a large snake making its
way across the ground.

I screamed, jumping out of the way. My voice echoed
through the forest and when I looked up, Tristan was standing
across the clearing from me. “Why are you doing this?” I
demanded.

He stood there motionless.

“So you’re not going to say anything?”

Again, nothing.

We both stood there silently, watching each other.
Before I knew it he was in front of me in a flash. His hands
gripped my shoulders so tight I thought they’d bruise. “Tristan,
stop it,” I pleaded, trying to break free, but he was too strong. I
knew I would have to find a way to get through to him or he would
break both my arms. I looked up into his deep, dark eyes, and all I
saw was a bottomless pit of nothing – just deep, dark depths of
black. This was not Tristan or this version of him was not one I
knew.

Frightened, I forced myself to wake up, but I
couldn’t. There was no escaping this nightmare. I pleaded with him
to let me go. He let out a low, guttural growl, exposing his fangs
and going for my neck. I screamed so hard and loud I finally woke
myself up.

I sat up in bed panting. My whole body shaking from
the terrifying nightmare I just saw. Roman woke up and turned to
me, examining my pale face. “Ella, what is it?”

I swiped a shaky hand across my sweaty forehead.
“Just a bad dream,” I said.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Concern was written
all over his face. I threw my arms around him, holding on tight.
“Hey, it’s okay,” he soothed.

“Just don’t let go.”

He pulled me back down to the bed and held me close
until I was able to rest comfortably. I was afraid to fall asleep,
but I needed the rest. I thought maybe this time I would pay
Tristan a visit and get this whole thing straightened out. I wasn’t
sure exactly how it worked, but I knew I had to give it a shot or I
might not be able to sleep again.

I closed my eyes and pictured Tristan. I thought
about picturing the time we spent on the beach but was afraid he
might drown me. Then I thought about the dream where we were on the
cliff and quickly shook away the thought for fear of him pushing me
off the cliff. Didn’t know if you could actually die in your dreams
or not, but I was not willing to find out.

I thought really hard of the perfect place, one that
was safe, and one that I could picture clearly. I thought of all
the roses and lilies glistening from the bright moonlight. I
thought of the pond and the stone steps lined up along the path.
Then I thought of Tristan. I pictured him the way he was, the night
he made dinner for me and him. I pictured us dancing under the
stars as we did that night, him holding me close, and promising to
never let me go.

When I opened my eyes, I saw the garden exactly as I
pictured it. I spun around in search of Tristan, but he was nowhere
to be seen. Either I failed in my attempt or he was just that mad
at me. “Ella?” There was surprise and shock in his voice.

I slowly turned around to face him. He looked
horrible. His eyes grew wide at the sight of me. His expression
said I was the last person he expected to see and for a moment I
believed these nightmares weren’t his doing. “What are you doing
here?” he said, taking a step toward me. I took one back. His
shoulders fell and he dropped his head. “I understand. You have
every right to be mad, but I thought I was doing the right
thing.”

“I’m only here to tell you to stop. Stop the
nightmares. I get you’re pissed, but it’s a little much, even for
you.”

His brows pinched together in confusion. “Ella, I
know you’re upset, but I would never purposely hurt you,” he said,
his voice pained.

I laughed harshly. “That’s a little hard to believe
after you left me in Ireland with your pathetic excuse. You’re a
coward Tristan. You couldn’t even breakup with me to my face.”

“Because I knew it would be too hard. I knew if I
didn’t leave I wouldn’t have the strength to in the morning. I
couldn’t go through seeing the look on your face when I told you
what I decided.”

“Well take a good look, because it wasn’t much
different from what I look like right now which is pissed off!” He
recoiled from my shrill voice. “You had no right to make that
decision for me. You have no idea what my life was like and –” I
stopped. I was getting off topic of why I was there. I took a deep
breath and closed my eyes to calm myself.

“Ella,” he reached out for me and risked taking a
step closer.

I held up my hand. “Tristan, I’m only going to ask
one last time. Please, just leave me alone.” When I looked up into
his eyes, I saw a deep blue ocean of sadness and pain. He looked
truly upset and nothing like the Tristan in my nightmares. My heart
sunk when I saw the dark circles under his eyes, like he hadn’t
slept in days. His skin was paler than normal making me think he
wasn’t feeding. I let my guard down long enough for him to touch
me.

I let his hand linger on my arm. The warmth and
tingling feeling I felt when he touched me reminded me of the love
I felt for him. I closed my eyes and held on to that, hoping I
could find a way to reach him, to get him to understand. He was so
close I could feel his warm breath on my cheek. When I looked up, I
found his eyes, and I was suddenly lost in them. Lost in the beauty
and joy they always brought me. Tristan slowly lifted his arm,
placing a cold hand on my cheek. I leaned into it, loving the
embrace.

Tristan took his opportunity and leaned down to kiss
me. I didn’t stop him. I wanted him to. I wanted to feel him, the
real Tristan. I let my lips linger longer than they should have. I
pulled back slowly. He stared deep into my eyes and I wanted to
cry. “Tristan, why did you do that to me?”

“Do what? Kiss you?” he smiled weakly.

I shook my head and walked away. “No. You left me in
that cave. It was dark and then all those snakes and spiders.” I
shuddered at the memory. “I never imagined that you could be…you’ve
changed. You’re not the same person I know,” I said, more or less
trying to convince myself.

He followed me and when he reached me, he turned me
around to face him. “Ella, I don’t understand?”

“You were so angry and all that rage turned into
darkness and all that darkness.” My lip started to quiver.

“Ella, I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

I knew the only way to get him to leave me alone was
to tell him I forgave him. “It’s okay,” I said softly. I stepped
out of his grip. “I forgive you.”

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness,” he said
roughly.

“I have to go now.”

“No, wait!”

“No Tristan,” I shook my head slowly. “This is it. I
won’t be coming back and I don’t want you to visit me anymore
either.”

“But I haven’t –”

“Goodbye Tristan.”

“Wait,” he called. I turned back to him and he pulled
me in for a kiss. A long, soft, tender kiss. One that would stay
with me. One that would make me want to touch my lips and reminisce
about the kiss. One that burned a hole in my heart and I hated him
for that.

When he finally released me, I let out a breath, one
that I didn’t even know I was holding. Before the tears escaped my
eyes, I walked away, leaving Tristan with a hopeful smile on his
face. As I walked to the pond, everything began to slowly vanish as
I returned to my state of sleep. I didn’t know if I accomplished
what I planned to, but part of me felt more at ease.

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was
Roman. I smiled. I gently caressed his face, waking him. He smiled
back, inching closer to me. Feeling a little guilty about kissing
Tristan in my dream, I pulled him into me and kissed him
aggressively. “Whoa, what’s gotten in to you?” he asked
breathless.

“I just want you, now,” I said, pushing myself on top
of him. He didn’t resist, but he did take over the reins, rolling
over on top of me.

“I love you,” he whispered against my lips.

“I love you too,” I said, kissing him again. I didn’t
know if part of me felt guilty for kissing Tristan or I just needed
to be with him. I needed to feel him and needed to feel how much he
loved me. I needed him to show me how much he loved me and that
things would be okay. And that’s exactly what he did, twice.

The weekend flew by and before I knew it was Monday
again. Josie had spent the weekend hanging with Cassidy, Lucas, and
a few other new kids leaving Roman and I to have the room to
ourselves for the weekend. Even though I was hoping to spend some
time with Josie, I wasn’t complaining about the private time I got
to spend with Roman. We took advantage of every second we had
together. I think the only time we actually left the room was to
eat.

On Monday, Zane had let me know that Gabe would be
out of town for the week on personal business. So we had to report
to our normal self-defense classes and Zane would take over for him
after school. I wasn’t looking forward to going back to class
considering we were on a totally different level than everyone else
and to make matters worse, Mr. Miller pointed that out to the whole
class. “Miss McCallister, could you please come over here and stand
next to me,” he said.