Unforgiven (Wanderers #3) (47 page)

We got everything the angels would need for the first
few months. Every now and then Josie would slip me a few things for
me to buy. I knew Gabe had to know, but he didn’t seem to
care…much. I spent most of the trip avoiding Kyle. I had no idea
what to say to him. Avoiding him was easy because Zane went with
the boys to get what they needed and Gabe came with us girls. I
couldn’t imagine Gabe wanted to deal with us girls and shopping,
but I had a feeling he didn’t trust Josie and me to be alone
together and didn’t want to put the pressure on Zane.

For some reason Josie and I together was considered
trouble. “Honestly, I have no idea why you would think that?” I had
said to Gabe and he had given me one of his many disapproving
looks, forcing me to hide my smile.

When we loaded all the bags into the van and hopped
in, I noticed the only seat left was next to Kyle. I sighed sat
down knowing I’d have to talk to him eventually. Not wanting
discuss things publicly, I decided to keep quiet until we got back.
I could tell Kyle wanted to say something to me too, but was
feeling the same way about not wanting an audience. It was an
awkward ride back to the school. Every time Kyle would shift in his
seat his long legs would brush mine and he’d jerk back like he had
been burned. I wanted so badly to reach out and take his hand, but
was afraid I would make things worse.

When we got back to the school, everyone got out of
the van. As I was about to make my exit Kyle grabbed my arm. “Can
we talk?”

My heart started to beat double time and my tongue
was twisted up in knots not allowing me to speak so I nodded.

“Hey Ella, you comin’?” Josie called.

“In a minute,” I said, finding my voice. She gave me
a nod of understanding when she saw Kyle was still in the van with
me. When I felt everyone was out of earshot, I turned to Kyle. “How
are you?” I wasn’t the best conversation starter.

“I’m good, actually. How you’re doing is what I’m
more concerned about,” he said.

“I’m great,” I said a little too enthusiastically. He
eyed me for a moment, not buying it. I didn’t want to talk about
Roman with him so I moved to the next issue. “I never got a chance
to say thank you.”

“Thank you for what?”

“For saving my life.”

He smiled that boyish smile I loved so much. “Ella,
you don’t have to thank me.”

“I do and I’m sorry,” I said, feeling a pang of
guilt. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”

He looked at me funny. “Ella, what are you talking
about?”

I looked away not able to meet his eyes. “The
accident.” The knot in my stomach tightened. “I tried, I really
tried. But I couldn’t get you out in time and it was all my fault.”
I could feel the tears burning in my eyes.

“Don’t say that. It was not your fault. I know you
did what you could. I know you tried to help me.”

“No. It was my fault. Because of me, because of my
powers. If I was just a normal person no one would be after me and
the people I love wouldn’t have gotten hurt.”

“Love?” he asked with hope in his eyes.

“Kyle, you know what I mean,” I said, not liking
where this was going.

“Ella,” he turned me to face him, wiping tears from
my face. “The accident wasn’t your fault,” I started to protest but
he stopped me. “Ella, it was my time to go. It didn’t matter how or
who. It was meant to be,” he said calmly.

“But aren’t you mad? Mad that your life got cut
short?” I asked, wondering how he was so calm about all this.

“I was, at first. It took me a while to understand
why it had to happen. But once I came to terms with it, I got past
all the anger. I was able to accept my destiny for what it
was.”

“Can you please explain it to me because I don’t
understand?”

He shifted his body so he faced me and then took my
hands in his. “Ella, I know what my purpose is now and it’s not to
be a pro football player,” he joked, trying to force a smile out of
me. “The only reason I thought my life was going anywhere was
because I had you.”

“Kyle,” I said, shaking my head. I had to bite my lip
to keep from crying again.

“Ella, I came back because I want to help. I want to
help kids like me. I may not have gotten the life I imagined, but
I’m doing what I can with what I got and I get to help people in
the process.” I smiled at his amazing outlook on life and wished I
could feel the same way, but I didn’t. Sometimes I still felt like
I didn’t belong to this life.

“I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me,”
he said. “I’m just here to learn like everyone else and do my job.
I know you have a boyfriend now and I wouldn’t expect you to just
go back to the way things were.”

If it were that easy.

“Ella, I will always care about you, but I
understand. I did die after all. I can’t expect you to never be
with someone,” he joked and I laughed, thinking this all sounded so
familiar. “I’m just glad you ditched that douchebag Tristan.” I
narrowed my eyes at him. “Come on Ella, really?”

“I guess I must have hit my head harder than I
thought in the accident.” He smiled and I leaned into his shoulder,
taking comfort in the one person who always understood me. “When
did you become so accepting?”

“Well when you become someone with a superior essence
like me you tend to mature a bit.”

“A superior essence?” I mocked and he puffed his
chest. I hit him and he laughed. “So you’re okay with us just being
friends?”

“I rather have you as a friend than nothing at all.
We were friends first at one time, weren’t we?”

“Yeah, we were, but that’s because you thought you
were too cool for me,” I teased.

“Hey, it’s not my fault you were a nerd.”

“I was not a nerd. I just went through an awkward
stage. We all did,” I said, narrowing my eyes and remembering when
he spent a summer at a camp for comic book nerds. “Captain
dorko.”

“Captain dorko? That’s the best you can come up
with?” he laughed when he saw my sour face.

“Shut up,” I said, elbowing him. I sighed and leaned
back against the seat. “Do you have any idea how much I’ve missed
you?”

“I know, I’ve missed you too,” he said, squeezing my
shoulder.

We sat there a moment, before I broke the silence.
“We should probably get back.” I scooted out of the van and waited
till Kyle shut the door. “I’ll see you around?”

“Yes you definitely will.” He flashed me his most
charming smile before giving me a quick peck on the cheek. I
flinched. “Sorry, habit.”

“No it’s okay. Just maybe a hug next time.”

“I can do that.” He winked and took off.

When I got back to my room I discovered Josie had
already made herself comfortable by throwing bags everywhere. I see
some things never changed. After a much needed lecture on Josie’s
slovenly ways, I took the girls on a tour of the school, and then
took them to dinner. Thankfully the kitchen staff was back
preparing for the school year so we didn’t have to cook our own
meals and I was happy for that.

After dinner, Josie and I went back to our room to
catch up on gossip. I told her all about what happened with Roman
and Tristan and about the summer. I even told her about the
nightmare Tristan had left me in. Josie said she didn’t believe
Tristan would do that to me and that there had to be another reason
or explanation. She said she knows how much Tristan loved me and
would not be that cruel. I told her she didn’t see the look on his
face when he disappeared. Part of me believed what she said was
right, but another part of me wasn’t sure.

“You know there is a way you can find out?” Josie
hinted.

“How?”

“Ask him,” she said simply.

“I don’t even know where he is.”

“Visit him in a dream like he does you.”

“I never tried. I wouldn’t even know how? And how do
you know he’ll tell me the truth?”

“You just have to believe he will. Didn’t you say
yourself you figured out how to tell if people are lying?”

“Yes,” I said skeptically. It was something I picked
up on a while ago. At first I thought it was a new power, but Ms.
Kraft told me no. It was just my intuition kicking into overdrive –
a perk of being supernatural.

“Ella, I think you’re making this more difficult than
it is. I think you’re just scared to admit that you already know it
wasn’t Tristan.”

“Well yeah,” I agreed. “If I admit that then that
means it’s something else or someone else and I really can’t handle
anymore.”

She sat down on the bed next to me and gave me a hug.
“Ella, you no longer have to handle it alone. I’m here now and
don’t plan on going anywhere for a long time,” she smiled.

“Now that you are back are you going to tell Billy?”
I knew this was a sore subject, but I needed to take the attention
off of me for a while.

She fell back on my bed dramatically. “Billy was so
last season. I’m in the mood for a new look.”

“When are you going to stop kidding yourself? I think
someone needs to admit a few things but is too scared to.”

“Ella please, there’s nothing to admit because there
was never anything going on. We were just having fun.”

“Someone is in denial,” I sang.

“The only person in denial here is you thinking you
look good in those sweats.”

“Hey,” I said, smacking her. “What’s wrong with these
sweats? They’re comfy.”

“What happened to the Ella that actually cared about
how she looked?”

“In case you hadn’t noticed, a lot of things have
changed. And I do care how I look. Just not as much.”

Josie sighed, sitting up. “So what do you want to do
now?”

“We can call Cameron and the rest and go watch a
movie in the social room if you want?”

“Sounds great,” she said.

I called Cameron and Dean and asked them if they
wanted to join us. Cameron agreed but Dean said he had other plans.
What, I didn’t know, considering there was no one else here but
Mackenzie. I shivered at the thought. Josie asked the other angels
if they wanted to join us as well. Sophia said yes, but Dylan
decided to stay in her room and pout. Clearly she was still pissed
about being here and was not going to enjoy herself.

I also called Roman, hoping it wouldn’t be weird with
Kyle there, but Kyle had said he understood so I was hoping he
really meant it. I guess we would find out.

We watched two movies until I fell asleep in Roman’s
arms. I was sad to say goodnight, realizing he could no longer stay
in my room with me. I couldn’t stay with him either, because Dean
was his roommate and that would just be awkward. After the five
kiss goodbye, Josie got sick of us and pushed Roman out the door
and slammed it in his face. “Goodnight Roman,” she said, standing
in front of the door. I tried to glare over my smile but was
unsuccessful.

“Goodnight Josie,” he laughed. “And sweet dreams,
Ella.”

“Goodnight Roman,” I called, hoping he heard me
before he left.

Aidan relieved us of our duties so we could rest up
for school and prepare for the new students who we would have to
‘mentor’
. Gabe had told me now that school was starting up,
Zane would no longer have the time to train me and I was going to
go back to training with him. As much as I enjoyed my sessions with
Zane I was actually happy to go back to training with Gabe, but I
was not happy about getting up early.

I spent the week hanging with Josie, Cameron, and
Roman. Kyle would hang with us once in a while. I could tell,
despite what he said, he was still uneasy seeing me with someone
else, but he proved he could do the friend thing. He even went out
of his way to befriend Roman, which is a hard task to do when
you’re one of my exes. Roman and Kyle were a lot alike and had so
much in common it didn’t take long for them to become buds. It did
take a bit for Roman to warm up to Kyle and only after Kyle and I
both had convinced him we were just friends and he had no interest
in trying to get me back. I was just happy everyone was getting
along.

Dean hid most of the week and I was worried something
was wrong. He just kept telling me he was catching up on his sleep
and to leave him alone.

I didn’t bother him anymore.

The weekend before school started Roman asked me to
stay with him in his room and promised me Dean wouldn’t be there.
He said Dean had plans to spend the night somewhere else. Where, I
did not know, and didn’t want to. I was happy to oblige to Roman’s
request. Spending the night in his arms warmed my heart and made it
easier for me to sleep at night. Of course Roman had other plans
than sleep, but I was too nervous about Dean accidently walking in.
So I told him he would have to suffer with cuddling. He didn’t seem
to mind.

For once I was actually excited for school to start.
I was looking forward to seeing my other friends and I was actually
excited to be mentoring the new students. I think I was the only
one though. I thought maybe since they were new they wouldn’t be
tainted by the many rumors that had been floating around last year
about me. And since they were new I understood how they felt and
could help them relate and also they would get to know me for me
and not the freak everyone else thought I was when I started.

I was hoping to start a new outlook on life. I wasn’t
going to hide from my powers or be ashamed. I was going to embrace
them and try to accept who I was. I was going to be starting the
school year with my best friend Josie and my wonderful boyfriend,
Roman, by my side. With their help I knew I could handle
anything.

“Okay seriously, I never thought I’d see the day I
had to wear polyester,” Josie complained, fidgeting with her skirt
that she hiked up way too high. She insisted I wear a skirt too
because I had killer legs and should show them off. I told her I
would only wear it if she stopped pulling mine up higher. It was
still warm enough so I didn’t mind the skirt. I topped off the look
with a light blue polo. Josie also insisted I wear my hair
down.