Unobtainable (18 page)

“How in the fuck does a straight man teach a gay man to kiss?” Harley asked, with an indignant snort.

“Are you jealous?” Tag laughed. “Does it bother you to think of us together?”

“Tag, stop fucking around,” I said, swatting his arm. “He’s just trying to wind you up, Harley.”

My eyes, as I stood sandwiched between the two men fighting over me, darted from one to the other in complete astonishment. Never had two men clashed over me before and I would have hoped if it were to happen, it would have been amid two gay men, not my straight best friend and my former gay lover.

Placing a hand in the center of each of their chests I had to chuckle at the situation and then cleared my throat, as I gave them a collective shove. Finally their eyes centered on me.

“Do we really have to do this?” I asked, with a sarcastic snicker. “Isn’t there enough of me to go around?”

“I don’t remember you telling me that you
fucked
Tag,” Harley snapped, with an arsenic chaser.

“That would be because Tag and I have never as you so eloquently put it, fucked.”

“Jesus, we were kids and we were wasted,” Tag held his belly as he laughed. “I’m not even sure if Dy here even knew he was queer yet. And me, I was into just about anything, I would have screwed a knot hole if you wrapped a little fur around it. Like I said, we were wasted. We were curious. I kissed him, he kissed me back, and then I gave him a few pointers. Voila!”

“This is ludicrous, who gives a shit who I kissed or didn’t kiss or that it was Tag first?” I asked. “And what do you fucking care, Harley? It’s not like you want me around for much more. I’m moving out remember? I’ll be out of your space soon and it won’t matter who I kiss.”

“Which reminds me,” Tag interrupted. “I was talking to my landlord and he’s okay with me having a roommate. He said he won’t even add extra to the rent. All you have to do is pay for your parking spot.”

Harley’s glare was focused solely on Tag, it was as if he didn’t hear a word. He was tearing off body parts and limbs, incinerating them in his mind. I could almost see flames shooting from his ears. It was kind of a turn on seeing him jealous of Tag. Unsure whether I should worry for Tag’s wellbeing or not, I had to do something just in case.

“Could we take this pissing match inside please?” I asked, taking my house keys from my pocket. “I’m sure the neighbors are enjoying the entertainment, but I’d like another drink and a seat while you girls fight over me.”

“We are
not
fighting over you,” Tag said, as he took my hand and dragged me up the stairs leading the way. “You are and forever will be my best friend for life, remember?”

“Of course I remember.” And I did indeed.

1998

It was a hot summer night, stifling actually, and we were sitting in my parent’s backyard under the stars fanning ourselves with the remnants of kites we had attempted to build from tissue paper and balsa wood. But the glue wouldn’t set in the heat of the day and we ended up turfing most of it and folding what we could into makeshift fans, like the ladies used in the old western movies we watched.

I had snuck my old man’s pocket knife from his top dresser drawer and managed to slice my thumb open while whittling the balsa. It was a fairly sizable gouge, but there was no way I was going to admit I did it with my father’s knife and face his wrath for stealing it, so I wrapped my thumb in a rag and planned to fake an injury later in the kitchen, getting my mom’s sympathy and her expertise in first aid to handle it. The only bitch was, each time I peeked inside the rag the damned thing would start bleeding again. God knows kids are stupid and can’t leave a scab alone without picking it.

The plan was for me to distract the old man while Tag snuck the knife into his drawer and as we were carefully coordinating our plan, I caught sight of the wicked glint in Tag’s eye.

“You know how we always wanted to be brothers?” Tag asked me, with his brow raised, his lip curled up on one side.

“Yeah,” I replied, watching the kitchen window for my mother to enter and make my dad’s lunch for the next day, like she did every night at about this time.

“We could do the next best thing.” He held up the knife and grinned. “Blood brothers, like they did in that movie the other night at Rob’s, we’re half way there. All I have to do is give my thumb a poke. Come on, let’s do it.”

“Cool,” I sat up, tossing my fan in the air and unwrapping my thumb.

“Is it still bleeding?” he asked me, watching as I gave it a squeeze and a bead of blood pooled on the tip of my thumb.

“Fucking right it is, hurry up and do this before my mom sees us and freaks out.”

Tag held the tip of the blade to the fatty tissue of his thumb, he closed his eyes and we both scrunched our faces in anticipation, counting from three to one. He let out a yelp as the knife sliced clean through his flesh, the cut was much larger than he had planned.

“Motherfucker,” he roared, clenching his teeth as he squeezed the cut letting it drip blood onto the concrete patio stone at his feet.

“What do we do know?” I asked. “I mean, do we have to say something deep or what?”

“Sure. deep.” Tag sat trying to think of something to say.

“Hurry, my mom,” I warned, seeing her walking into the kitchen.

“Brother’s for life, through thick and thin, the good, the bad and the ugly,” he laughed with a shrug. “It was on TV the other night, seemed kinda fitting.”

“The good, the bad and the ugly brothers,” I said, holding up my thumb.

We slammed our thumbs together holding them tight in the air, yelling out in pain as a trickle of blood dribbling down our forearms, the smiles on our faces you couldn’t remove with paint stripper. Then we heard the sound of my mother’s scream as she came tearing out the screen door with her tea towel in hand.

My mother went ape shit on us. And while she cleaned our cuts, coated them with antibiotic cream and applied sterile bandages, my father tore what was left of our hides from us.

Yes we were official blood brothers, our connection solid as a rock, but grounded from seeing each other for an entire month. What a summer that was, sneaking around to spend time together. That was also the summer Tag taught me to kiss.

“Brothers,” Tag held up his thumb, the faintest of scars still there after all these years.

“Brothers,” I did the same, showing off my scar.

“You’re moving in with Tag?” Harley asked, pulling us from our memories.

“I’m considering it, yes, if I can’t find other accommodations soon,” I announced.

“You don’t have to leave you know,” he told me with an impassive stare.

“Who wants something to drink?” I asked, hastily changing the topic.

“I’m going to get changed,” Harley said, leaving Tag and I sitting at the kitchen table.

I fetched three beers from the fridge and caught sight of Harley standing in his bedroom doorway watching us. He looked sad or maybe I was simply picturing him that way. It could have very well been wishful thinking.

“You can move in right away if you like,” Tag offered. “Tonight…if that’s what you want. Is that what you want?”

“Tag,” I rubbed my face in my hands, so aggravated I wanted to scream. “What I want I can’t have…because he doesn’t want me.”

“Somebody’s in love,” Tag grasped my shoulder. “Tell him…tell him you love him, Dy. Don’t fuck up everything because you don’t have the guts to tell Harley he’s the one for you. You don’t want to move in with me. I bet you haven’t packed a thing, have you? Tell him Dy before it’s too late.”

“But I’m not the one for him,” I said.

“How do you know, did he tell you that?”

“Not in so many words,” I admitted.

“I have to pee,” Tag said, shaking his head. “Call me a cab?”

“You’re a cab,” I joked.

“You’re an idiot,” Tag laughed, rising from the table and caging my into my chair. “If you don’t tell him, I will.”

“Don’t you dare, keep your nose out of this.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Tag left shortly after returning from the washroom. I made him vow to keep his mouth shut and promised I’d tell Harley how I felt. Harley never came back downstairs, he remained in his room. When I finally came up the stairs, the light under Harley’s door turned off like a warning not to knock, I took the hint and went to my room and fell into bed, exhausted.

A text message alert sounded just as I closed my eyes.

~Harley~

Choosing not to go back downstairs because I didn’t want Dyson seeing how his news of moving affected me, I checked out the weather channel and sports highlights before having a hot shower. I heard Tag and Dyson speaking but could not make out what they were saying. The apartment door rumbled along its track as it closed and the lock bar clicked into place. A few minutes later I heard Dyson’s feet on the stairs, I turned out my light and then heard Dyson’s bedroom door close.

Of all the nights since Dyson came to stay with me, this was the first night
I
truly didn’t want to be alone. I picked up my phone and stood out in the hallway.

Harley: Will you still be going to the conference?

Me: I’ve committed myself, so yes.

Harley: I can go alone.

Me: Is that what you want?

Harley: No.

Me: Okay. I’m going.

Harley: Can I come in?

Me: It’s not locked.

Immediately I turned the door handle and pushed the door open slowly. Clearly Dyson knew I had been standing on the other side of the door while texting, he really was adorable. Dyson watched as I silently crept across the room, lifted the comforter and climbed in beside him. His body was warm and I could smell the scent of soap on Dyson as I wrapped myself around him, nuzzling my face into the nape of his neck. I heard him let out a peaceful sigh as he settled in for the night and I intertwined our fingers, I loved his easygoing closeness.

The moments when I let down my guard and actually allowed Dyson to feel my affection, especially those moments without sex, meant the most. I listened to his breathing pattern deepen, felt his breath on my forearm and his body relax as he fell asleep. I tried not to give in to slumber, wanting to make this night last, but sleep would soon capture me and before I knew it the nightmares would take me away.

~Dyson~

I don’t know why I expected to find Harley curled up beside me come morning, but I did and alas he was gone. Instead of moping around and tripping over my chin like a child, I shrugged it off and got on with my day. Showered, shaved, dressed in my nicest suit and headed off to work early.

No matter the task, the abuse Harley suffered at the hands of his ex consumed my thoughts. Like a really badly made horror movie, flashes of Harley tied and bleeding robbed my attention. The longer I went without seeing Harley, the more questions I had. Why did Harley keep me at a distance, there had to be more to it. It was strange that Harley enjoyed sex as much as he did and took pleasure in tying me, yet when I asked him to switch up he protested vehemently.

Keeping me close for sex when the mood took him seemed to be high on his agenda, which I unashamedly had to admit turned me on. He insisted adamantly that we were going to this conference together. I guess that made me his conference whore, the idea appealed even though saying it out loud sounded dirty and wrong.

Harley was the most infuriating man to try and figure out. He passed my office door several times through the day without so much as a glance, although I reminded myself we were to keep it professional at work, it bothered me nevertheless.

“Dyson, I have your plane tickets and agenda for the conference,” Clair said, as she came into my office, her arms full. “There’s also a package I signed for and this.”

Clair placed the package and the rest of my mail on the desk and handed me a white tissue wrapped box with a white curly bow.

“Thanks Clair,” I said, turning it in my hands. “What time is the flight?”

“Noon, I couldn’t get anything later, sorry,” Clair lifted the agenda from the pile of mail and studied it. “The first speaker is Dennis Waters from IBM at nine am tomorrow morning, then it’s Harley’s turn, the next after that is Martha Laurence from Newaive Development Group at two, and it looks like the rest of the evening is yours. Plenty of play time, you boys can spend a night on the town. Don’t forget to take the corporate card with you. If I don’t see you before you go have a blast and feel free to buy me something pretty.”

“I’m sure I will,” I said, as she turned to leave my office and I shook the box in my hand.

“Your new hubby isn’t angry about being left at home for four days? You could have taken him along you know, I would have gladly booked another seat on the plane.”

“He won’t be home alone, besides he’ll be right here with me,” I assured her, holding my hand to my heart. “It will be just as if he’s going with me.”

If she only knew he was.

“Aww…that’s so sweet! One day you will have to bring him by to meet us,” she insisted. “I can’t believe you haven’t already. I don’t even know his name.”

This lying thing was getting complicated, now I had to make up a name and something I would remember. The only thing that flashed in my head was the name on Harley’s pay stub, Harley William Cooper.

“William,” I said.

“I look forward to meeting William one day soon,” she smiled. “Have a safe trip.”

Clair left and I allowed my shoulders to slump forward as I relaxed. I tore the tissue wrapping paper open and smiled at the silver 5x7 picture frame containing a photo from our wedding day. Harley and I were joined at the lips, at precisely the you-may-kiss-the-groom moment. I turned it over,
to the happy couple
was written on the back, nothing more. I was suddenly baffled, for a moment I thought Harley had sent it to me but I knew that wasn’t the case, so who had sent this, and why?

My head was starting to throb. I rubbed my temples with my eyes closed until I heard footsteps.

Harley walked into my office with the same tissue wrapped box and a scowl etched on his face. “It’s not from you is it? Do you have the slightest inkling who may have sent this?” he asked.

Shaking my head I showed him my photo so he could view it. “Mine says to the happy couple on the back.”

“Mine too,” he showed me.

The only difference between the two gifts was that Harley’s framed photo showed a shared kiss while cutting the cake at the reception, same frame and same wrapping otherwise.

“It had to have been Tag, he has the photos from that day right?” I asked. “I’ll call him.”

Selma borrowed Tag’s camera, she wasn’t a half bad photographer and once she gave back the camera, the agreement was that Tag would load the photos into his Photoshop program and doctor the images where needed.

Tag answered after only a few rings.

“Hey, what’s up rubber duck?” Tag joked.

“I’m not bothering you during a shoot, am I?”

“Would I answer the phone in the middle of a shoot, numb nuts?”

He had a point, once Tag turned on the camera he was focused on the shoot until it was finished. Nothing distracted him.

“Question,” I asked, not bothering to respond and not bothering to wait for his response. “Did you send photos to Harley and me?”

“Nope,” he was quick to answer. “What kind of photos?”

“Someone sent us two framed wedding pictures. I thought maybe it was you.”

“Not me, I haven’t even had time to load your pictures onto my computer, the SD card is still in my camera I think. Ask Selma, she took them, it could have been her.”

Analyzing the images in both frames, I could tell the photos screamed amateur, the angles were wrong, the lighting was off and the subject matter, namely us, were slightly off center.  They had not been photo-shopped at all. This person had stood away from the action, as if they didn’t want to be noticed. Selma was in the one shot, so I knew it hadn’t been her.

“No, she didn’t take these,” I said, setting the photos on my desk. “Sorry to bug you, there was no card. Pretend I never called, go back to whatever you were doing before I so rudely interrupted.”

“That would be whoever,” Tag chuckled. “But its okay, she fucked off already. You up for lunch?”

“Sorry, Tag, I’m going to have to skip on lunch,” I looked at Harley standing staring out my window with his hands in his pockets, tightening the fabric of his pants around that fine ass of his. “I have to catch a flight to Denver.  We’re going away to a conference for a few days. But when I get back we’ll do something.”

“We, as in super stud and you going away for a secret fuck fest?” Tag asked, with a fiendish snicker.

I laughed at his eloquent choice of words. “Something like that.”

“Well, have fun and play safe,” he tittered. “No glove, no love!”

Harley turned back towards me and graced me with his titillating smile.

“Don’t you worry my friend, I plan to. I’ll see you when I get back, we’ll do something.”

“Not him?” Harley asked, once I hung up the phone, brushing his knuckles along my jawline.

“Not him.”

Harley picked up the one photo and set it up on the frames stand, staring at it. “I like this one, I think it’s my favorite.”

“Mmm…yeah.”

“There’s no time to worry about who sent them now, maybe it was one of your family, Ellen or Stella? Your Parents? Anyway, we have a flight to catch. This will keep until we get back…I want your mind on nothing but me and you and four days in Denver.”

~~~

Most of the scheduled talks and events were taking place at the Hyatt Regency in downtown Denver. Lucky for us there was a cancelation and Clair managed to book us a room at the last minute. It was a standard room, no big deal for me, all I needed was a bed, a toilet and a shower. When we walked into the room we looked at each other. It was standard all right.

Don’t get me wrong, there wasn’t a single thing flawed with the room, in fact it was wonderful. There was a huge window with a stunning view of downtown Denver and the Rocky Mountains off in the distance, a TV, a desk with a leather executive style chair, a washroom and a lounger. Oh, and
one
very large king-size bed, even though Clair was told it was a double accommodation.

The only thing that crossed my mind was Harley and his need to escape in the night. What if he had a dream, then what? I supposed that was what the washroom was for. I had a visual of him sleeping on the lounger, it looked a bit small for the size of him. I tittered to myself when I pictured his feet hanging off the end by at least a foot.

“What?” Harley asked, tossing his suitcase onto the bed.

“Nothing,” I opened the drapes a bit wider before joining Harley. “It’s a nice room.”

I opened my suitcase and started to unpack, hanging my suits on the wooden hangers generously supplied for us, before they got too wrinkled. Harley was busy doing the same. Once done, I grabbed the remote and leapt onto the bed, fluffing the pillows and getting cozy as I flicked through the channels.

“I’m going to grab a shower,” Harley announced, disappearing into the washroom.

The sound of the water running and then the spray of the water as it streamed from the shower head was temptingly distracting. The images I was conjuring up in my head of Harley’s naked body glistening as the water enveloped his tan skin, was causing my balls to ache as my cock started to wickedly tingle.

“I give my talk at eleven tomorrow,” Harley hollered. “What do you have planned while I’m boring people senseless?”

I was standing in the doorway by the time he finished his question, he left the door open and I figured that made it an open invitation to come in.

“Maybe I’ll come listen and allow you to enlighten me. What’s the subject matter?” I asked, moseying into the room, sitting my ass on the counter with my feet dangling as I stared at the closed shower curtain. Damn Hyatt Regency for not having glass shower doors.

“Advanced sales psychology and customer communication,” he peered from behind the curtain. “I don’t like sales 101 bullshit, the only way to make a sale these days is to get inside the clients head, rattle it a little then go in for the kill,” he laughed, ducking back behind the curtain. “Seriously though, you’ll be bored to shit.”

“So I’ll take a nap,” I joked. “Are we attending all the talks?”

“We really should, we are representing the company after all. Your company, try to remember that.”

“How could I forget?”

The air filled with the scents of sandalwood and citrus. I don’t know what the soap was called but I loved that smell, it screamed Harley Cooper, sex god! I licked my lips just thinking about tasting his clean freshly washed skin and looked up to see him staring at me, his brows raised with a beautiful grin on his face.

“Pass me a towel?” he asked, holding out his hand.

Of course I gave him a towel, any excuse to get a good look at his nakedness. He whipped the curtain back and held the towel to his face, then started drying his hair. My eyes couldn’t help but wander over his body. His abs clenched tightly as his exquisite member bobbed between his thighs and his beautifully tanned body shook tiny droplets of water from the tip of his cock to the floor of the tub.

“Like what you see?” Harley asked, reaching his finger under my chin and lifting. He brought his face down to mine and gently kissed my lips. “You can have the shower now, I’m done.”

I was like a ball of goo as Harley undressed me, turning me towards the shower and gave me a loud stinging slap on the ass. “Don’t take too long, I want to show you something,” Harley said, wrapping the towel around his waist with a hungry smile.

Jacking off in the shower would have been the obvious choice, but I was anticipating a whole lot more from Harley and quickly turned the water to cold, washing my body and hair simultaneously with Harley’s body wash.

I happily noted that Harley hadn’t bothered to dress. He stood at the window with his arms over his head holding the curtain rod, his towel hanging precariously off his hips as he looked out at the city below. How in God’s name could one man look as fucking fine as he did all the time?

Walking up behind him, I reached slowly around his waist and fingered the edge of his towel. I heard a low rumble from his throat and loosened the knot until the towel fell to the floor. Running my hand up his muscular back, I followed the path with my lips, peppering kissing on his cool skin.

“You wanted to show me something?” I purred, pressing my lips against the dip between his shoulder blades.

“I do,” Harley spun in my arms to face me, kissing me forehead. “I want to show you another side of me.”

My mind started organizing the many faces of Harley. Were we talking about multiple personalities or was I jumping to crazy conclusions as usual? I felt my brow coil into a frown. Harley threw his head back as he laughed and then clasped my face in his hands, kissing me.

“You are so fucking cute,” he laughed, pressing his forehead to mine. “I’m not a psycho…I want to show you a softer, gentler side of myself. I don’t want to fuck you, I want to make…I want to go slow and take my time.”

My lips touched his and I closed my eyes, he wanted to make love, he just couldn’t say the words. Well I wanted nothing more than have Harley Cooper make love to me. So I pulled him closer and held my palms open against his lower back where his dimples were engrained in my memory.