I swallowed and looked her straight in the eye. “I will do everything to make sure this works out for you,” I vowed. “Lana, you’re so much stronger than you think.”
Her lips quivered.
“Nothing can stand in your way,” I said.
She glanced at me. Doubt was written across her face.
“Nothing,” I uttered slowly.
The front door opened. Lana and I both turned as Max walked inside. He tucked his hands into his pants. Both eyebrows were raised as he looked at us. “So?”
I gave her a pointed look, wordlessly encouraging her to tell him the truth. I knew she wanted to take this step forward, but she was so scared. Her hands were shaking as she glanced over at the park and I could see her imagining her life here.
Say yes, say yes, say yes,
I pleaded in my head.
She finally looked at me and nodded before she turned to Max. “It’s perfect.”
I breathed a sigh of relief.
His lips parted into a devastating smile. “Really?”
“Really,” she said.
The realtor smoothly walked back into the room and smiled brightly. She knew a sale when she saw one. “Well, what do you think?” she asked Max.
He tapped the wall once and turned his charming smile onto the realtor. “Where do we sign?”
The realtor blushed and walked over to her briefcase. I think if he flashed that smile one more time Lana could get a few months of rent for free.
While they went into details about the contract and when would be a good day to sign, I walked over to Lana, mouthing the word
yay
and lifted both hands up in victory.
That hope in her eyes, the one that was barely noticeable earlier, was starting to spread, making her eyes shine brightly.
I stopped worrying about the big stuff and just enjoyed right now.
Everything was starting to look up.
Lana was moving into her apartment today.
It was an exciting time for me. For Lana, her fear overrode her excitement. She hadn’t told her parents she was moving out. She was too afraid that they would change her mind. And she was even more afraid that if she did attempt to pack up her stuff, her parents would stop her. She would drive over there with me, but I would do all the packing. I had it all planned out. I would drive to her house while her dad was at work and her mom would be in town, shopping or gossiping over lunch with her friends.
I had a stack of boxes in my trunk and garbage bags just in case I ran out of boxes.
I pulled up to her parents’ house. Six windows on the second floor. Four on the bottom. Each one was spotless and sparkled in the sun. And all of them were flanked with black shutters. The double, front doors were large and imposing. The color of espresso, with wrought iron detailing and frosted glass. Surrounding the house were trimmed shrubs, and running the length of the sidewalk were flowers, the colors ranging from red, yellow, and orange.
It was a picture perfect house. The kind of house you would drive by at night, see the yellow hue of lights inside, and think, ‘I bet that family has it all.’
I got out of my car. As I went to open the trunk, Lana got out of the car and sat on the porch steps. That was how she was sitting the first time I met her. Just ten years ago, she and I had been small girls with two completely different personalities.
“Hey,” I said, as I grabbed a stack of collapsed boxes. “You ready for this?”
She looked at me. “Not even close to ready.”
I walked up the sidewalk and finally saw the white pallor of her skin and the beads of sweat forming on her forehead.
“Just sit here,” I said with a reassuring smile. “I’ll be back down as soon as I can.”
“Okay.” Her voice was hollow.
I walked inside, my hands piled with moving gear, and hurried up the staircase. There was nothing but the sounds of a grandfather clock ticking softly and my quiet footsteps. It was just me and Lana’s ancestors. Their pictures were framed, nailed to the wall. They had somber faces and maybe it was just paranoia kicking in, but I swear their eyes followed me as I walked down the hallway.
The hairs on my arm rose when I walked into Lana’s room. I quickly got to work. I grabbed all the clothes in her closest. Packed up her books, her journal sitting on the nightstand. Her laptop was on the desk. I grabbed it, too. Along with the laptop and phone chargers. Quickly, I went through her desk drawers, making sure I wasn’t leaving behind anything important. I left the pictures on the wall and every piece of furniture there. I only took the things that were personal and had good memories for Lana. Those personal items only filled up three boxes.
I looked back at her room. Anyone passing by wouldn’t notice that she’d moved out. But if someone would step into the room, they’d notice.
As I carried the boxes down the stairs, I wondered who would be the first of Lana’s parents to realize she was gone.
“Done,” I announced.
Lana was still sitting on the steps. She jumped at the sound of my voice. “That was quick.”
“What can I say? I’m a quick packer.”
We loaded the boxes up. I slammed the trunk and looked over at her.
Lana turned back to her house, her expression forlorn. I couldn’t imagine what she was thinking about and I didn’t want to know. What happened in that house should stay there, locked up and never to be experienced again.
I spun my key chain. “Ready?”
“The fifth step from the top is loose.”
The keys hit my knuckles. My eyebrows knitted together. “What?”
“On the staircase. The step’s been loose for six years and I still sometimes trip on it coming up the stairs.” Lana drifted across the grass as if she was in a trance. She stood in front of her bedroom window and pointed. “On the windowsill, in the very right corner, I carved in my initials.”
“Lana—”
“This is all I know and I’m leaving it all behind.”
I walked over to her and stared up at the window with her. “You’re right. You’re leaving it all behind.”
I could feel her eyes on me.
“But you have something so amazing ahead of you. A life where you can make your own decisions. There’s nothing better than that.”
She continued to look at the window. I could clearly see the indecision in her eyes. She was at war with herself.
“You sure you want to go?”
“Yeah.” She took two steps back. “I’m sure,” she said firmly.
We left her house a few minutes later. The further we drove from her parents’ house, the more relaxed she became. A small half-smile appeared on her face.
“What are you going to do for furniture?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Thrift store? I’m not exactly swimming in cash right now.”
“Thrift store sounds good,” I said agreeably.
She didn’t respond. Just watched the endless row of houses fly past us.
“Am I crazy for doing this?” she said quietly.
My fingers tightened on the steering wheel. “Not at all.”
“Sometimes I’m afraid it will all bite me in the ass,” she admitted.
“None of it will. Everything you’re doing right now is a step in the right direction.”
That seemed to be my go-to saying for Lana. I had repeated those words over the past week so many times I’d lost count.
“I know my dad will try anything to get me to go back home.”
“Lana…” I chose my words carefully.
Her phone interrupted me. She looked down the same time I did.
Her dad was calling.
I knew there was only one reason he would be calling her right now. It figured he would be the first one to know she was gone.
I stayed perfectly quiet and tried to keep my eyes on the road, but they kept straying to the right. Lana’s finger hovered over the answer button for a long second before she pressed ignore.
It may seem inconsequential for most people, but for Lana it was huge.
“Who was that?” I asked innocently.
She dropped her phone into her purse and pulled the clasp. The snap sounded loudly in the car. “No one.”
I wanted to celebrate this moment. I made a quick left.
“Where are we going?” she said. “Apartment’s up ahead.”
I grinned. “We, my friend, are going furniture shopping.”
“Stay,” Max said in a throaty whisper.
I shivered. My eyes closed. My head sank deeper into the pillow and Max’s scent was all around me. It made saying no twice as hard.
“I can’t,” I said weakly. “I gotta…”
I had to do something. I just didn’t know what that something was. Everything that was important in my life seemed to fade in Max’s arms.
His head was bent as his lips traveled down my neck. Pieces of his hair brushed against my skin, making me shiver. The minute we stepped inside his house we came at each other with this frantic, all-consuming need to touch.
“I really gotta go,” I groaned with frustration.
Max lips stopped moving. He looked up. His lips were damp and slightly parted. I wanted nothing more than to stay right there, curl my hands into his hair, and drag his lips to mine.
He rolled over and lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He was breathing heavily, his abs becoming defined with each breath.
I jumped out of his bed before I changed my mind and turned back around and jumped him.
Max rolled onto his side. “Why do you have to go?”
“I just need to,” I said absently.
I walked around the room, searching for my shoes. Pieces of clothing were scattered across the floor. Max’s jacket. My cardigan was tossed in the corner.
“Everything
is
okay now.”
Lana moved into her new apartment a week ago. And while it was a huge relief that she wasn’t underneath her dad’s thumb anymore I couldn’t just shut her out; I carried her with me wherever I went.
I continued to stay with her. I would hear her crying herself to sleep, or sometimes screaming out. I asked her if everything was okay. She would never answer me, even though I knew she could hear me.
“Everything is okay. Right?”
I found one heel next to the door. “Yes… but…”
“But what?” Max said.
I looked at Max. The other heel was partially underneath the bed. I put both on and walked over to him.
Max sat up and slid to the edge of the bed. His hands were on the bed, shirt still unbuttoned. He opened his legs and I walked in between them, staring down at him.
“Things have just been… difficult,” I said carefully.
Max stared at me. “How difficult?”
“Pretty difficult.”
I was being generous. There were some days that seemed like everything was going to be all right. But then there were those days where it felt like I was in hell with Lana. It felt like the world was crumbling down around her, around me. It sucks the will to live out of you. Leaves your energy depleted, and steals your happiness.
And the next day would be okay. Lana would have to start over, rebuilding her happiness. All I could do was watch.
His hands curled around my hips. I stood frozen in place. “Just stay,” Max said. “Stay here. I’ll take away all those worries for a few hours.”
His eyes were heavy lidded and the right side of his lips curved up in a half-smile that should’ve been innocent. It was anything but. My defenses instantly crumbled.
With one tug, I was on top of him. His hands held me tightly against his warm body. His kiss was slow on purpose. Meant to drive me insane. Meant to coax me into staying the night with him. He did these slow, little licks that made me moan. My mouth opened. My body relaxed deeper into his. He sucked on my lower lip and tugged gently. I barely noticed the sting. Not when his hands moved up and down my thighs.
I gasped into his mouth.
His fingers found the zipper of my dress and slowly dragged it down.
My dress parted, allowing him to slip his hands inside. Fingers grazed my spine. I sucked on his tongue with hunger. My body wanted it all. I wanted pleasure from his hand and I wanted to see every part of him. It was this frantic need that made me shake.
His touch always seemed to take me to another place, where my worries and fears unraveled and slipped away from my body.
I pushed myself off of him and took off my dress.
He stared at me, his eyes blazing.