Authors: Heidi McCahan
Lauren borrowed the van one last time and drove over to see Granny. The streets of town were deserted so early in the morning. She made it to the hospital in less than five minutes. The parking lot was more crowded than usual and her breath caught in her throat when she recognized Jeremy’s truck. Of course he’d be here, standing watch for his brother. An image of Blake lying in the hospital bed, the monitors screeching in distress, flashed through her mind.
Please, Lord. Not for me but for his family. Please let him recover from this.
Snagging a handful of tissues from the box on the floor of the van, Lauren tucked them into her purse and slowly eased out of the driver’s seat. A light rain was falling, so she broke into a jog and headed for the front door. Whether Granny recognized her or not, this would be her most difficult good bye.
The automatic doors whooshed open, signaling her arrival. She hesitated and glanced toward ICU.
No. You can’t
. She drew a deep breath and headed for the nurses’ station. Dr. Adams stood behind the counter. He glanced up from the chart he was studying and smiled.
“Good morning. How are you feeling?” He tucked a pen back in the pocket of his white coat.
“Much better, thank you. It’s amazing what a little sleep can do.”
“Are you here for your grandmother or …” He stopped short of mentioning another name, as if the whole hospital didn’t already know who else she might be there to visit. She’d made quite a scene yesterday.
“Yes. I’m leaving tomorrow and I’d like to spend some time with her before I go.”
“I see.” His grey eyes clouded with concern. “I was under the impression—well, maybe I misunderstood— never mind. I’ve got to get back to my rounds. It was a pleasure meeting you, Ms. Carter. Safe travels.” He waved and turned toward the ICU before she could ask any questions.
Lauren watched as he disappeared down the corridor and the heavy door slammed shut behind him. “What was that all about?”
The nurse seated behind the counter hung up the phone and glanced her way. “I’m sorry?”
Lauren pondered his cryptic comment. What impression was he referring to? An uneasiness crept in. “It’s nothing. Thanks.” She mumbled to the nurse and headed for Granny’s room.
The smell of bacon and scrambled eggs wafted under her nose as she passed a food cart in the hallway, the loaded plastic cafeteria trays reminding her that she’d refused Mom’s offer of breakfast. Food would have to wait.
She pushed open the door to Granny’s room. “Good morning.”
Much to her surprise, Granny was out of bed and sitting in a chair by the window, her Bible spread open on her lap. She wore a new magenta velour jogging suit, although the splint on her arm left one sleeve dangling, empty. Someone had already helped apply her makeup.
“Lauren.” Granny splayed her hand and pressed it to her chest. “I was just praying for you and now you’re here. What a blessing.”
Lauren froze, unable to take another step. Goosebumps shot down both arms. Finally. Granny called her by name.
She crossed the room and leaned in to plant a gentle kiss on Granny’s weathered cheek. Warm fingers grasped hers as she pulled back.
“Let me look at you, dear.” Granny’s eyes searched Lauren’s face, her lips curving into a tender smile. “You resemble your mother more and more every day.”
Lauren gasped and her fingers instinctively fluttered to the locket around her neck. “W-what did you say?”
“I see you’re wearing her locket.” Granny’s gnarled index finger trembled as she reached up tentatively. “May I have a look inside? It’s been years.”
Lauren tucked her chin, heart pounding in her chest as she stared down at the heart shaped silver trinket nested between her finger and thumb.
Mother’s locket?
“You know about this?” she whispered, reaching back and loosening the clasp so Granny could hold the locket.
“Know about it?” Granny’s painted-to-perfection eyebrows shot heavenward. “I gave it to her.”
Lauren flinched. Why didn’t anyone bother to mention this before?
She cupped the locket and chain in her hand and offered it to Granny.
“I’m afraid you’ll have to open it, dear. This one armed bag of bones isn’t good for much right now.” She tipped her head toward her immobilized arm.
Her heart in her throat, Lauren used her fingernail to open the locket and placed it in Granny’s outstretched hand.
Granny leaned toward the window, as if she needed the light to illuminate the faded photograph. “Hmm. This isn’t the right picture.”
Lauren’s scalp prickled. She sank into the chair opposite Granny’s. “It isn’t?”
“No.” Granny frowned. “This is you and me. Where’s the one of your mother?”
“M-m-my mother?” Granny obviously wasn’t as lucid as she thought.
“Yes. Mallory. This was her locket. She wore it constantly. It had a picture of the two of you in it. I bet you were only a day or two old.”
Lauren bit the inside of her cheek, her heart about to split wide open.
Granny gazed out the window, as if she’d been transported back in time. “We found the locket laying on her dresser the day after the accident. Nobody could figure out why she took it off. It’s almost like she knew—”
“Granny, you gave me that locket when I graduated from high school. I’ve never changed the picture.”
Closing the locket and turning it over, Granny lovingly caressed the tiny letters and numbers. “Pop chose the verse but the engraver said it wouldn’t fit. So they compromised. He wanted her to remember that God had a plan for her baby girl.”
Granny passed the locket back to Lauren, her blue eyes shining with tears.
Fumbling for a tissue to staunch her own tears, Lauren accepted the locket with her free hand.
She had to ask. When would she get another opportunity?
“Granny, do you … remember anything about my dad?”
Granny sat very still, her eyes closed. Lauren leaned forward, her pulse pounding in her ears.
Please. Remember something. Anything.
“Kevin. His name was Kevin. He wore his hair long and shaggy, drove your grandfather nuts.” She opened her eyes and a tiny smile crept across her features. “He was an adventurous boy, that one. But most of all’’—Granny wrapped her hand around Lauren’s and squeezed—“he loved you.”
Lauren mopped her cheeks with a crumpled tissue, acutely aware of all she’d lost that one fateful night, yet humbled by her overwhelming love for the family that claimed her as their own.
“Knock, knock.” Shannon came into the room and closed the door behind her. She pasted on a bright smile but Lauren saw the worry lingering just below the surface.
“Good morning.” Lauren scooted out of the way so Shannon could speak to Granny.
“Hey, Lauren.” She set her chart on the bed and leaned against the rail. “Mrs. Watson, I hear they’re going to let you go home soon?”
Lauren stared in disbelief. Was this really the best time to tell Granny? With all of the details still undecided? She glanced at Granny, who appeared to be equally surprised.
“Is that right? News to me. Of course, nobody tells me anything these days.” Granny frowned and flipped her Bible closed.
“Shannon, are you sure?”
Shannon reached for the chart and peeked inside. “Looks like the discharge papers just need Dr. Wheeler’s signature. He’s not here right now, with everything that’s happened …” Her eyes darted to Lauren’s and then quickly back to the chart. “I’d say she could be out of here as early as tomorrow.”
Lauren swallowed hard and glanced at Granny. “Could we talk about this out in the hall?”
“Sure.” Shannon patted Granny’s arm. “We’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be here.” Granny gave a little wave of her fingers.
Lauren followed Shannon out into the hallway. Shannon leaned one shoulder against the wall, brows furrowed. “I take it this is a surprise?”
“Not to me, my parents told me. She is totally with it this morning, I didn’t want to upset her, but the Inn isn’t the best place for her to recover.”
Shannon nibbled the nail on her pinky finger, a sure sign that she was holding out.
Lauren’s gut twisted. “What are you not telling me, Shan?”
“I was told your family was counting on you taking care of her. I heard they rented one of those new places next to—”
“Oh, brother.” Lauren tipped her head back against the wall and stared at the ceiling. “We just talked about this. I told them I’m leaving tomorrow.”
Shannon sucked in a breath. “Leave? You can’t go yet. Not while—”
Lauren held up her hand. “Don’t say it. I’m not waiting for him to wake up. I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“I’m not wanted here,” she whispered. “He’s better off without me.”
Shannon pressed her lips into a thin line and shrugged her shoulders. “Go ahead, then. Run back to your big city life. We’ll stay here and pick up the pieces, just like we always do.”
Lauren pushed off the wall, stung by the accusation. “Wait a min—”
“Blake said you wouldn’t stick around. Looks like he was right. Goodbye, Lauren.”
Lauren watched her go, the pant legs of Shannon’s scrubs swishing out a double-time farewell, as if parroting her last words.
Goodbye Lauren, Goodbye Lauren. The echo remained in Lauren’s head, long after Shannon retreated behind the double doors at the end of the hall.
Holding back tears, Lauren returned to Granny’s room, dreading their last moments together. She was secretly relieved to find Granny with her eyes closed, a small smile on her lips. Lauren pressed a kiss to her fingertips and blew it in Granny’s direction.
A family of five from Michigan sat around the fire, their three young girls clamoring for the sticks Seth carved to roast their marshmallows. Someone—Lauren guessed it was Angela—had assembled a portable tray with all the necessary elements for building S’mores. Judging by the crumpled candy bar wrappers and the tell-tale smears on their cheeks, very little chocolate was making it into the graham crackers. But the girls were having a blast and that’s what mattered. Matt and Angela’s kids had joined in on the fun and the area around the fire pit was filled with laughter and conversation.
Lauren sat in an Adirondack chair, making a half-hearted attempt to enjoy her last night at the Inn, but the events of the previous days cloaked her in a sadness she just couldn’t shake. Although it pained her to admit it, she was going to miss her family.
“Hey.” Angela sat in the chair next to her, leg outstretched as she rocked Gavin’s car seat with her toe to lull him back to sleep. “Are you okay?”
Lauren shrugged. “Having second thoughts, I guess.”
“I’m sorry to hear you’re taking off. You can always change your mind, you know. There’s plenty of room for you at Granny’s new place.”
Lauren winced. “I—I can’t, Ang. I’m sorry. I know someone needs to help her but I don’t think I can stay here.”
“But you aren’t sure you should go, either.”
She raised her eyes to meet Angela’s and nodded. “Something like that.”
“Could I tell you something?”
“I guess so.” She tapped her fingernails on the arm rest and stared into the fire, mentally checking out of the conversation. She’d had enough intense discussions for one day.
“We don’t get to talk very much, with the kids around and everything that’s going on.” Angela reached over and squeezed her arm. “But I wanted to tell you that we’re proud of you. Honest.”
Lauren placed her hand on top of Angela’s. “Thank you. That means a lot.”
“You made a very brave decision. I’m sure there’s no one on this planet who loves that boy more than you.”
Lauren puffed her cheeks and blew out a breath. There was one other person. But she’d deprived him of the chance to know and love his child. For that, she felt anything but brave.
Matt enveloped her in a warm hug. “I know it’s been a tough week, but I’m glad you came to see us.”
Lauren hugged him back, grateful for the embrace so he couldn’t see her struggling to hold it together.
He pulled back and kissed her forehead. “Don’t wait so long to come back, okay?”
“I won’t.” She bit her lip and scuffed the pavement with the toe of her running shoe.
“You sure you have everything?” He glanced at her luggage, tote bag and purse balanced precariously against the extended handle of each of her suitcases.
No!
She screamed inwardly.
A huge piece of my heart still sits in that ICU
. She’d slept clutching her phone, praying someone, anyone, would call during the night and tell her that Blake had responded to the treatment. Nothing. Now the crew chief stood on the dock, loading the vehicles onto the ferry. The foot passengers would be next.
“I’ll manage,” she willed her lips to form a smile.
“I know you will. You always do.”
“See ya, little brother.”
Matt smiled but uncertainty still filled his eyes. “See ya, Lo-lo.”
She grasped a handle with each hand and rolled her suitcases toward the end of the dock, her heart pounding in her chest. But she couldn’t go without asking. She stopped and turned.
“Matt?” Her voice cracked.
“I’ll let you know as soon as I hear something. Anything. Promise.”
She nodded. “Thanks.”
The trip down the gangway was the longest of her life. She paused halfway down to listen to the seagulls squawk from their perch on the dock pilings, filling her lungs with fresh air, savored the briny scent of saltwater one more time.
Home
. A hollow ache filled her chest. For all the energy she’d invested trying to escape it, Emerald Cove had left its imprint on her heart.
Once onboard, she wedged her bags between her legs and the railing on the aft deck and fumbled for her phone. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, which seemed wrong somehow, given her mood. Tapping her favorite camera app, she centered the snow-capped mountains on her screen and pressed the button to capture the image. There. A shot of her most favorite view to carry with her back to Portland.
The call came as the crewmember freed the spring line from the cleat on the dock. While the man on deck pulled the line in and twisted it into a neat coil, the engines hummed, vibrating the deck beneath her feet. Matt raced from the parking lot toward the boat. His white t-shirt billowed like a sail as he flapped both arms in the air and tried to hail the crew chief. Her phone continued to play the familiar melody of “Firework” but she stood, immobilized, as she read Matt’s lips.
Stop
.
In slow motion, she glanced down at the number on her screen. It was the hospital. Lauren swallowed back the panic rising in her throat.
This was it.
They were calling to tell her it was all over.
She answered the phone, every extremity quaking with fear.
“Tell me.” There was no time for exchanging pleasantries.
“Lauren? Can you hear me?” Shannon said. “I have great news.”
What?
The faintest sliver of hope pierced the ominous fear that threatened to overwhelm her. She squeezed her eyes shut. “Is he … did he—”
“He’s awake. And he’s asking for you.”