Unspoken Love (25 page)

Chapter 23

As Jenny’s pregnancy advanced, she stayed home and took care of Abigail and Aaron, leaving Lily to work at
Ladies’ Delight.

One afternoon as her time drew near Nicholas arrived at her home. After exchanging pleasantries, he said, “You need more help. The twins are demanding.”

“Perhaps you are right, Nicholas. Lily spends a good deal of time at the store, and I could use a hand after the baby arrives.” A pensive mood came over her, and she furrowed her brows. “I make a modest living, but I must keep a tight rein on my finances. Paying a maid would create a hardship for me right now.”

“I’ll send for a maid immediately and pay her wages.”

“I can’t let you do that, Nicholas.”

“Abigail and Aaron are my children, Jenny. I want them to have good care.” He sent her an appreciative look. “You’re an excellent mother, but with a business to run in addition to caring for the twins and another baby due anytime, you can use the extra help.”

“I’ll think about it,” she said and started for the kitchen. “May I offer you a refreshment?” Suddenly she bent over as a searing pain racked her body. When the contraction lessened, she looked at Nicholas. “It is time,” she said, holding her abdomen. “Will you send for a midwife while I take Abigail and Aaron to the nursery?” She reached for the twins when Nicholas intercepted, his strong hands stilling her movements.

“Go to your chamber, Jenny. I’ll see them safely to the nursery.”

As another contraction began, Jenny obeyed Nicholas. She walked slowly to her room and prepared herself for the birth. Memories of her last labor led her to believe she had hours of labor ahead of her, so she took her time. Discarding her clothes, she hung them in the wardrobe and then slipped into a nightgown. She reflected on how Nicholas had seen her through the twins’ delivery, but she didn’t feel right asking him to stay, knowing she couldn’t prove he was the father. It made for an awkward situation. As the pain increased, she clung to the dresser.

Nicholas strode into the room with a look of determination on his face. “You should be in bed, Jenny,” he said.

“Please get a midwife,
now
!” Jenny cried. “My water has broken, and the contractions are only minutes apart!”

“I’ll do what I can.”

He darted outside and ran up the street, looking for help. Stopping at a neighbor’s house, he banged on the door, panic nearly seizing him as he thought of Jenny alone and in pain. When a startled-looking woman appeared, he pointed in the direction of Jenny’s house. “My wife is having a baby!” he shouted. “Will you send for a midwife? She’s alone with our children. I have to get back to her.”

“I’ll send my husband for help right away,” the woman responded.

“Much obliged,” Nicholas said. He hurried back to Jenny’s house and entered her chamber. She lay in bed, grimacing, twisting a cloth between her fingers with each strong contraction. Beads of sweat covered her brow and hairline, her eyes glazed with torment as she felt another contraction.

“Will this intense pain ever end?” she sobbed.

Deeply moved by her suffering, Nicholas said, “The midwife will be here soon, Jenny.”

Nicholas heard a carriage approaching and raced to the window. “She is here!” He flew down the stairs and met her at the door.

“I am Edris,” the woman announced with an air of confidence about her. “The neighbor sent for me.”

“Come with me,” Nicholas said. He raced upstairs with the midwife following close on his heels.

Nicholas addressed Jenny. “This is Edris. She’s here to help you.”

The rotund woman stepped into the room carrying a pouch and immediately took charge. Learning the severity of Jenny’s pains, she patted her shoulder. “You’re in good hands now, Mrs. Grant. I’ve helped with lots of deliveries.”

While Nicholas looked out the window, Edris moved aside Jenny’s gown and examined her. Remaining expressionless, she joined Nicholas by the window. Hiding a frown threatening to escape, she spoke in a hushed tone. “Mrs. Grant isn’t dilating like she should. As close as her contractions are, she should be delivering anytime, but—”.

“But what?” Nicholas interrupted.

“The baby is nowhere near being born.”

“What are you saying?” he asked, stricken with terror.

“Simply put, the baby can’t get through the birth canal until Mrs. Grant is big enough, sir.” She gave Nicholas a worried look, and her eyes filled with sadness. “I have to be honest with you. The baby could be born dead, and Mrs. Grant, well, she might die, too.”

“You’ve got to save Jenny and the baby!” Nicholas pleaded, keeping his voice low. He heard Jenny moaning and looked toward the bed. “Do something for her!”

“I’ll do what I can, but you’ve got to be strong, Mr. Grant. We don’t want your wife any more upset than she already is. I’ll give her some laudanum, and then I’ll stretch the vagina. Let’s pray that my efforts are rewarded and that she delivers soon. In all my deliveries, I’ve never seen a woman birthing a second time with this problem.” Edris opened her bag and brought out a sedative. “Take this, Mrs. Grant,” she said, dispensing a tiny amount into her mouth. It will lessen your pain. I can’t give you too much since I’ll need you to help push when the time comes.” She removed a rope from her bag and tied it around the bedpost. “Hold on to this as your pain intensifies,” she said, then began her work in earnest.

Terrified of losing Jenny and the baby, Nicholas struggled to keep his sanity. He held her hand and encouraged her to be strong.

As the hours passed, his agonizing mind repeatedly churned,
She can’t die! She is
having our baby!
The words caused a strange feeling to wash over him. Images came flooding back, and he relived the night he’d spent with Jenny, the horrifying scene of the barge catching on fire, and his cotton going up in smoke. He had no recollection of hitting his head, but he did remember never wanting to leave Jenny.

Jenny’s painful screams shattered his thoughts, and he focused his attention on her, and Edris.

“We’re making progress!” Edris said. With gentle fingers, she worked on Jenny, eager to get the baby to slip into the birth canal. After several tries, she exclaimed, “The baby’s head is emerging! Bear down, Mrs. Grant!”

With sweat pouring from her exhausted face, Jenny held onto the rope and bore down again and again, until she finally thrust her newborn into the world.

“We have a son!” Nicholas said excitedly. He watched the midwife cut and tie the umbilical cord, then wrap the babe in a blanket. Placing the infant by Jenny’s side, Edris resumed the task at hand.

Jenny observed Nicholas through weary eyes. She could have sworn that he said they had a son. She discarded the notion, thinking the drug had made her imagine his boasting of fatherhood. Exhausted, she slept.

When Lily and Nakao returned from the shop, they found Nicholas tending the babies.

“The event has taken its toll on you, Mr. Grant. Perhaps you should return to the inn and get some sleep,” Lily said.

“I think not, Lily, but I will step out for a while. I’ll return shortly. Hastily he made his exit, leaving Lily in charge and pondering his intentions.

Nicholas reappeared a few hours later. Loaded with packages and a young maid in tow, he stepped into the parlor.

Nicholas looked at the blonde-haired, blue-eyed servant standing timidly beside him awaiting instructions. She had been honest with him from the onset, and he didn’t mind that she couldn’t cook or sew. “Nakao, Lily, this is Millicent. She will be Jenny’s nursemaid.”

Lily and Nakao welcomed her while Nicholas unloaded his parcels.

“To celebrate Jenny’s new arrival,” he exclaimed, passing out presents. He had dolls, games, and wood toys for Abigail and Aaron and several finely stitched gowns for the infant. He presented colorful ribbons and trinkets to Lily and even included Millicent in the gift giving.

“You are too kind,” Lily said. “I now realize you truly love Jenny and have only been concerned for her welfare.” She cast her eyes downward. “Nakao knew not to interfere with your love for Jenny.” Gathering the children’s gifts, she started for the nursery and addressed Millicent. “Come with me, I’ll show you around the house and go over your duties.”

Nicholas watched Millicent follow Lily, clutching her new hair ribbons. She seemed delighted with her new position, and he was glad that he had hired her.

Nakao, too, left the room, leaving Nicholas alone in the parlor.

Nicholas sat and reflected on Jenny. He was trying to figure a way out of his dilemma. He loved Jenny but didn’t know if there would ever be peace between them. He remembered the painful labor she had endured.
She could have died today. What would my life be without her
? Suddenly he felt drained from the day’s events. He planned to head back to the inn to retire but decided he’d rest for a little while on the sofa. Sleep claimed him, and he remained there the rest of the night.

Jenny awoke in the morning and looked down on her sleeping son. At that moment, Lily entered the room carrying a tray of food and coffee.

“I see you are awake,” Lily said cheerfully. “And how is little Nicky today?”

“Nicky?” Jenny asked.

“Yes, Nicky. Nicholas named him after himself, but he is calling him Nicky for the present. He says Nicholas sounds too grown up for a baby.”

“How touching,” Jennifer responded, belying her surprise. With slow movements, she changed the babe’s diaper, then leaned against the pillow and encouraged her son to suckle at her breast.

As Nicholas entered the room, his gaze fell upon Jenny and the baby. For a moment, he didn’t speak as tender feelings inundated him.

Lily stood beside the bed, looking from Jenny to Nicholas. “I’ll see how Millicent is doing,” she said, leaving them to share in the delight of their newborn.

Taking a seat on the bed, Nicholas reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black case. He removed a strand of pearls and placed them in Jenny’s hand. He beamed with pride. “A gift for you, Jenny.”

“Pardon my asking, but why are you giving me this?”

“For becoming a mother again,” Nicholas replied. While Jenny admired the pearls, he ran his fingers through his hair and cleared his throat. “I have something to confess Jenny.” Before he could say more, the babe opened his eyes and focused on her. Jenny’s mouth flew agape, and a sound escaped her lips.

“He’s the very image of you, Nicholas!” She looked into his eyes, the windows of his soul, and saw the truth. “You did come to my room and make passionate love to me! You could not have planned a more fitting torture were you the devil himself,” she said stiffly. “I’ve lived in torment for months trying to make sense of it all!”

“I, too, have suffered, Jenny,” he responded, laying his heart open. “I came to your room that night you spent at Blake’s mansion, and Nicky was conceived. I wanted to do whatever it took to win your love and was ready to move mountains for you if need be. Then I received an urgent message and left posthaste.”

Jenny sent him a suspicious look. “You didn’t remember making love to me?”

“I couldn’t remember anything about that night.” A look of determination came over him. “My dear sweet wife, when you have regained your strength, I am taking you and our children to
Small Timbers
. You have dabbled as a free spirit, but the time has come for you to be my wife. There’ll be no more of your childish roaming.”

“I have made great strides since I left
Small Timbers
. Most women would only dare to dream what I have done!
Ladies’ Delight
thrives, plus I have a home, and staff,” Jenny said defensively.

“You have made progress beyond one’s imagination, but what about the vows you took to love, honor, and obey your husband?”

“Nicholas! We married under false pretense. Do not drag sacred vows into our conversation!” She pouted. “What about honesty? You bought my father’s farm and didn’t say a word.”

“I was afraid you’d leave and seek shelter at the farm. Therefore, I decided not to tell you just yet. I had not counted on you moving to Vicksburg. The way I see it, part of the money that I spent on the farm was rightfully yours. I promised you money if you stayed married to me for a year.”

For a moment, Jenny felt defensive, then her heart softened. Nicholas was kind and generous to her father, which meant everything to her.

Nicholas let out a deep breath. “I want you back at
Small Timbers
.” Abruptly he left the room, leaving his words fresh on Jenny’s mind.

Annoyance seized Jenny as she recalled his tone and conviction in his eyes. She softened toward him as she gazed down at Nicky. There was no denying the baby was his. A burden lifted from her, and a peace settled in as she realized that Nicholas was the father. Deep down, she knew she had no right to deprive him of his children. She reflected on her labor and how, just before falling asleep, Nicholas had announced, “We have a son!”
I should have realized the truth then,
she mused.

She pondered Nicholas’s words. She had it all—babies, a home, a thriving business, and a caring staff— but she wanted love and companionship. Nicholas was the only one who could fill the void in her life. She loved him, craved him, yet she had distanced herself from him.

She gazed at the pearl necklace he had given her and gently touched the iridescent beads, running her fingers over their smooth surface. Regardless of their estranged relationship, she felt close to him.
I will treasure these pearls always,
she thought, then placed them in the case for safekeeping.