Unstoppable (Fierce) (13 page)

There were tears in my eyes when she hugged me close. It was the nurturing mother I never had.

I spent the better part of the week doing anything I could to make her proud. I did all the physical therapy without complaint. I suffered through each and every massage, taking every ounce of pain in the process. I exercised daily in the lap pool, and I ate properly and well.

By Saturday I felt I could join the crew in Phoenix, but Maggie nixed it. She felt another week would get me back into “fighting” shape, and I was not about to question her judgment. I used every text, update or photo from Shelby as incentive to work that much harder.

Dallas was Jace’s homecoming trip, and I wasn’t about to miss it for the world.

By the weekend I was rehearsing my number out on the beach that doubled as Graham’s back yard. Every time I tried to do
Jace’s introduction, I ended up seized in pain – despite all the therapy. I was either going to have to amend the number for the foreseeable future, or allow Shelby to take my place.

I called Corey to see if he could help me choreograph an alternative. He ended up staying the entire night with us, keeping Maggie and Graham in stitches with his tales from his dance troupe. If either one of them noticed I had invited my gay best friend over my husband, they mercifully said nothing.

Since Eddie couldn’t party like he used to, he ended up taking an impromptu trip back to Iowa to visit his folks while I recuperated at Graham’s house. My guess was that he was licking his wounds after being rejected – once again – for “Bionic Boy.” While I hated what the public pairing of Jace and Shelby was doing to me, I was slightly comforted by the fact that it had to be driving Eddie crazy.

At night I had Jace all to myself via video chat. It helped keep me grounded in what was real. He loved me. All this other stuff was just an act.

Right?

“Shelby’s really fallen hard,” I said as casually as I could that Sunday night. “Everyone is reading a relationship in between the lines with you, given all her status updates.”

He shrugged. “As long as you know it’s not real, that’s all that matters to me.”

“What about what she thinks? Isn’t it dangerous to play into the fantasy?
You’re going to break her heart.”

“She knows nothing is going on. We’re friends.”

“That’s not what it sounds like.”

“Trust me. She knows I’m not interested in
a relationship. In fact, she thinks I’m still hung up on Amy.”

This was not news to me, of course. But I played it cool.
“What makes you say that?”

Another shrug.
He was withholding something, I could tell. Finally he admitted, “She kissed me.”

My heart sunk. “What?”

“We were there at the park, watching the fireworks and all of a sudden she reached up and kissed me. I was so surprised I didn’t know what to do. I just sort of stood there, frozen. When I didn’t respond, she told me that she understood… that I must still be in love with my ex. She apologized for overstepping any boundaries and asked if we could still be friends. I told her that was all we could be. She was disappointed but she said OK.”

My brow furrowed. I got a blow by blow on every single detail of their “dates” – but somehow Shelby had failed to mention any of this. A
nd, not so incidentally, so had he. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

“I was afraid that you’d force yourself to come back to the tour before you were ready. It was no big deal and I think she got the hint I wasn’t interested, so it was really a good thing, I think. But…”

I waited. “But…?”

H sighed. “I didn’t think you’d handle it well.”

“I see.”

“Jordi…”

“No, I get it. You thought I’d get all jealous and do something stupid to make sure that I wouldn’t lose you. Like I’m fifteen or something, right?”

“Your mood now is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you.”

“My mood now is because you didn’t tell me, Jace. You essentially lied to me.”

“I never lied to you,” he corrected immediately.

“You left it out. It was important and you decided that I didn’t need that information. Such a dick move. How is that any different than Eddie?”

He took a deep breath. “Jordi, you had enough going on that I didn’t want to add to the burden. I handled it.”

“By doing what? Doing nothing and letting her think you still love Amy?”

This sparked his anger. “I would tell her that I’m in love with you, but you keep telling me that we can’t do that. If we had just called Eddie’s bluff like I wanted to, all this would have blown over by now.”

“And you wouldn’t be on tour as the winner of
Fierce
.”

“I told you I don’t care about that!”

“But you sure are enjoying the perks of it, aren’t you?”

He stared at me through the screen. “Really?” he finally asked.

“Really,” I said. “Tell me you aren’t having the time of your life. You’re a freaking rock star. Everyone loves you. Obviously,” I added.

He was angry but his tone was controlled. “The only person I care about loving me is you. Once you get that through your hardheaded skull, the happier we will
both
be.”

My posture stiffened. I was still mad. I didn’t want to soften toward him. I didn’t want to forgive him yet. I wanted to be mad… at Jace… at Shelby… at fate for knocking me out of the game before I could even really get started.

“I gotta go,” I said as I reached for the laptop to close out of the program.

“Jordi, don’t.”

“Goodnight, Jace. See you in Dallas.” I shut off the program without letting him say another word.

It was my way of punishing him for not telling me about Shelby’s kiss. I could fuel some anger from that for days. What else was he hiding? What other information had he withheld?

He was quick to text me. “
I was only trying to protect you
.”

“
Stop being my savior and start being my partner
,” I couldn’t help but respond back.

“
I will when you will
,” he stated simply.

Neither one of us texted a
nything more after that.

CHAPTER
SIX

Dallas, Texas

February 7, 2012

Eddie tugged me along in the Dallas/Fort
Worth International Airport, pulling me toward the entrance where we were to be picked up by private car and taken to our hotel suite. He had been plastered to my side since he got back to Los Angeles, after he had decided that we needed to prove to the press how happily married we were. In other words, he learned too late that PING can turn on anyone. Now that they had the super romance between Jace and Shelby to build upon, Eddie and I were old news. The only way we could sell a magazine was if there was ongoing drama, which was precisely what some of their “reporters” were out to prove.

This was nothing new… what had changed was how they were depicting Eddie in this new scenario. This time
they weren’t as sympathetic to Eddie’s philandering ways – especially in light of my health issues.

HONEYMOON OVER FOR REALITY DIVA?
These were the headlines that screamed at me every time I switched on my computer. Reports were quick to point out I was recuperating at Graham’s mansion as opposed to with my loving husband, who had mysteriously high-tailed it out of town. This further set their tongues wagging.

Pictures of him partying in Los Angeles began to
resurface, and tabloids were having a
Fierce
heyday with all the gossip surrounding both Jace and me.

The only thing better would be a sex tape, which would make victims of Shelby and Eddie, and laughing stocks of me and Jace.

It was for that reason alone I didn’t put up a fight when Eddie announced he was coming with me to Dallas. I let him sit with his arm around me, or possessively shield me from the PING throng ever present at LAX. He even bought me a new diamond ring to wear alongside what he still suspected was a cheap, throwaway wedding band.

He instructed me to shield my face with that hand, so everyone could see the rock of love he had placed on my finger.

With Eddie it was all about perception over reality.

I went along for the ride. I was still stinging over
Jace’s little confession, so it wasn’t like I was expecting a romantic reunion with him in Dallas.

Well, that wasn’t
entirely true. I expected a romantic reunion that he would essentially beg for the moment he saw me. He’d forget all about Shelby and whisk me away to his room, where we would rediscover all the things we had grown to love about each other.

It could just be simple again. It would be Jace and me, with no added complications or excessive drama. Just his arms wrapped around me, his breath against my hair, his hands on my body…and those amazing eyes that nearly convinced me I was beautiful.

I needed him now more than ever.

Unfortunately he had been MIA quite a bit in the last few days. He had flown home early to Dallas, to get some private time with his family before the craziness of the tour commenced. He was a hot commodity, wanted for every local TV and radio show. They were even going to award him the key to the city. Between all that and the time difference, our communication had become sporadic in recent days.

And it nearly dried up altogether when he asked me to fly out early to meet his folks, and I told him that I couldn’t – that Eddie would be tagging along for our Texas performances. It was his turn to be hurt, and I couldn’t even really blame him.

It was all such a
gigantic clusterfuck. I had hoped time would untangle all the knots surrounding our lives, but it served only to tighten them. I had no idea what to do except put one foot in front of the other. With the lingering back spasms, that was challenge enough.

Surprisingly, Eddie was attentive and supportive as he helped me through my first flight post-therapy. I barely had to voice a desire and he’d race to make sure I was comfortable and satisfied. Anyone looking on would have voted him husband of the year.
He carried bags, he retrieved drinks, food or magazines. Though we flew first class and had superb service from Los Angeles to Dallas, he was determined to do as much as he could to show to the world he was no deadbeat husband.

Frankly, it grew tiresome. By the time we made it to the hotel suite, I was exhausted. Wordlessly he turned down the blanket and helped me into bed, bringing a glass of water to the nightstand so I could take my pills.

I only took them when I knew I was going to rest. Those three pills would have kept me comatose if I took them as directed. Instead, I saved them mostly for sleep, which helped me get the proper rest needed for healing. Of course, this meant that I suffered a little more when I was active. Stretching helped, but I still got fatigued much quicker than before my back went out.

I was a nineteen-year-old girl and my back had already gone out. These were old people problems. I knew if I could get the weight off, I could feel better faster. And despite what Maggie said, I knew I had to handle it more aggressively than I had been. Every single bite I took made me feel like a ticking time bomb ready to go off again with one wrong move. We still had so many shows left to do, and I was determined by the time we reached my hometown visit
in a few months, I would be unstoppable. I would perform every song, dance every step and introduce Jace like I was supposed to as the rightful runner up.

But I could think about that later
. I gulped down my handful of pills, leaned back against the big, fluffy pillows and closed my eyes.

“I’m ordering from room service,” Eddie announced from the doorway of the bedroom. “Did you want anything special?”

Cheesecake. With chocolate sauce. And whipped cream. With a side of steak. And French fries with a gallon of Ranch dressing to wash it all down
. “No, I’m fine.”

I was asleep before the tray arrived.

Around nine o’clock, when I got up to stumble my way along an unfamiliar path toward a strange bathroom, I spied the cart sitting near the doorway. It had red roses in a big vase, along with what looked like champagne chilling in an ice bucket. There was a full meal waiting for me as well as – surprise, surprise – a piece of cheesecake big enough for two. The chef had even placed it on strawberry sauce in the shape of a heart on the plate.

I peered beyond the tray into the sitting room of our suite. Eddie was
watching TV in the dark, a throw blanket covering him and a couple of spare pillows from the bed propping him up. “What’s with all the food?”

He didn’t even look my direction. “It’s the romantic getaway package.”

Ah
, I thought with a sigh. Just another act in the play. I turned back toward the bathroom.

“You need any help?”

“I’ve got it,” I called back to him as I shut and locked the door behind me. When I got back to bed, I checked my messages. There was a text from Maggie, to see how well I tolerated the flight. I texted back there had been a little turbulence, so it jarred me quite a bit, but rest and medication had helped.