Until the Sun Burns Out (10 page)

“Your kissing skills have definitely improved,” Austin said after our lips separated.

It was not the reaction I was hoping for, and I sputtered as if he’d thrown cold water in my face, which is actually what it felt like. “W-w-what are you saying? That I was bad before?”

“No.” He shook his head emphatically. “You were great before, just a little unsure and timid. Today you were confident and bold.” He shrugged, that same darkness I’d seen earlier returning to his eyes. “It’s clear that you’ve had some practice since I last saw you. So is that what you came over here to show me?”

I recoiled. “Is that really how you see me? Do you think I treat everything like a competition?’

“Don’t you?” When I didn’t immediately answer, he continued, “I mean, last year you spent an entire summer trying to one-up me on everything.”

“That was sports and stuff. This is different,” I explained. “Besides, what you’re saying isn’t true. I’ve had two kisses in my entire life, and they’ve both been with you.”

Austin studied me a minute, appearing dumbfounded. “No way.” He shook his head. “You mean to tell me that in the last nine months not one guy has tried to kiss you.” His gaze traveled down my body. “Because the girl standing in front of me is gorgeous.”

As hard as I tried to keep my lips pinned down, they curled upward at his words. My whole body warmed. “I didn’t say that no guy had tried. I just said I didn’t kiss them.”

“Why not?”

My gaze met his. “Because they weren’t you.”

The hard expression he’d worn in every interaction we’d had this summer softened instantly. “Well, not every guy can be as cool as I am,” he joked.

I giggled, grateful that he was back in teasing mode. It was the most like his old self that I’d seen this summer.

But his teasing smile quickly faded. “Then what’s the deal, summer girl?” He pinned me with a firm stare. “If what you’re saying is true, then why not contact me?”

I knew the reason, but I was too embarrassed to admit it. Biting my lip, I tried to come up with something else to say. But as Austin continued to stare at me awaiting a response, I realized that the truth was the only way to make this right. “From the moment I met you, I knew you were too good for me, and I guess I figured you knew that too. Everything about our friendship felt like a dream. Like a break from reality.” When I noticed the darkness in his eyes lifting slightly, it propelled me to keep me going. “And you kind of alluded to the fact this place…your summers…were your escape. Your break from real life. I guess I thought that included me.” I shrugged. “My nickname even implies that. So when you stopped texting, I assumed it was because you’d moved on with your real life. With the girls you don’t only see in the summer.”

He stepped toward me, angling his face until our eyes lined up. Then he tucked his finger under my chin. “Never have I thought I was too good for you. You’ve challenged me more than any girl I’ve ever met. You kick ass at everything you do. Honestly, I thought the opposite. I thought I wasn’t good enough for you. And when you stopped texting, I thought for sure you’d met some other guy and forgotten all about me.”

I almost laughed at how absurd that was. “Trust me. I could never forget you.”

A slow grin formed on his face. “Well, I am pretty unforgettable.”

And just like that, the old Austin was back. “I missed you,” I blurted out.

“I missed you too, summer girl,” he said.

“We’re good then?” I broached.

“We’re good.” Relief flooded me at his words. “But let’s make a deal, okay?

I nodded emphatically. At this point I’d make any deal necessary in order to put all this behind us.

“Let’s stop making assumptions about what the other one is thinking, okay?”

“Deal.” I smiled.

A wicked expression cloaked his face. “Wanna make it three?” His arms wrapped around my middle, and he tugged me closer. He’d switched subjects so fast it was hard to keep up. But I knew exactly what he was insinuating, and it caused a chill to brush over my skin.

“Sure.” I’d barely gotten the word out when his lips covered mine. As our lips joined and began moving in sync, I realized that he was right. I was getting better with each kiss. More confident. More bold. My nerves faded with every push and pull, every brush of his lips, and every time his fingers touched my face. But it didn’t have to do with my skill level. It had everything to do with him and his intent.

The first time we kissed I had no idea what he wanted from me, but I assumed it was his way of saying goodbye. A way to end the summer with a bang.

But now I knew he wanted to kiss me. He’d chosen me. He admitted he liked me…a lot.

It seemed like a dream.

But it wasn’t. It was real. And I wanted to stay out here kissing him the rest of the summer. I wanted to stay safe and secure in his arms. However, all good things must come to an end. And when I heard a sound like rustling near his house, I jumped backward. My heart thumped in my chest as my head swiveled back and forth, my gaze scouring the area. When I didn’t see either of his parents, I felt instant relief.

Austin chuckled, appearing entertained. “Relax. I think that was a cat. My parents aren’t going to come out here. And even if they did, they wouldn’t care if we were kissing.”

“How do you know that?” I placed a hand on my hip. “Do they catch you kissing girls all the time?”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he simply smiled. My stomach soured.

Before I could press him further, his head bobbed toward my dad’s car. “You drove here?”

Biting my lip, I nodded. “Now we can finally rule the streets.”

I expected him to smile, maybe laugh, possibly throw out some witty banter. But he didn’t. His face grew serious.

“You saw me driving, huh? So you know how terrible I am,” I joked, hoping to erase his frown.

It worked somewhat, but not as much as I’d hoped. “I’m sure you’re not that bad,” he said.

“Then what is it?” I pressed, curiosity consuming me. A warm breeze fanned over us, and the scent of the beach smacked me in the face again. By the end of the summer I’d be used to this. In fact, I probably wouldn’t even notice it. But right now it was still new, and it made me giddy.

“We can’t rule the streets because I’m not driving,” he confessed.

My stomach dropped. “You didn’t get your license?”

He swallowed hard, his neck swelling with the effort. Reaching up, he ran his fingers through his hair, his muscles tightening. The gesture made me think of how good it felt to be in his arms. “I got my license. My parents just aren’t letting me drive right now.”

I pursed my lips, unsure if I should ask anymore. His parents were always a touchy subject.

“Hey, what do ya say we go for a drive?” He nudged me in the side with his hand, his heart-stopping smile returning. “You can show off your driving skills, we can hit the town, maybe grab an ice cream cone.”

“Not a triple scoop this time,” I warned.

“C’mon, you know you’re dying to get another one.”

I shook my head, the mere thought giving me a belly ache. When he grabbed my arm and started guiding me toward my car, I halted in my tracks. “Shouldn’t you tell your parents where you’re going?”

His face darkened. “Nah.”

Nodding, I allowed him to tug me forward, but I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Austin had always had a contentious relationship with his parents, but tonight things seemed considerably worse than last summer. It made me wonder what I was missing. What was Austin’s life like outside of summer? What kind of person was he back home? My head swirled with questions, and I wondered if I’d ever know the answer to them.

I was kidding with Austin when I told him I was a bad driver. Not that I was the best, but I wasn’t terrible. However, with him sitting beside me I was behaving as if I had never actually driven a car before. I was more nervous than I had been during my driving test. Probably because the examiner was an old man who smelled like moth balls, not a young hot guy who smelled like the beach.

“Well, you certainly own the streets, summer girl, but not in the way I meant,” Austin teased when we reached the ice cream shop.

Giggling, I slugged him in the shoulder. “Shut up.”

“The good news is that the other drivers were sure moving out of our way quickly. We made record time.” He opened the passenger door and stepped out.

“You’re full of it tonight.” Getting out of the driver’s side, I slammed the door shut and threw him a mock glare.

He leaned over the top of the car, resting his elbows on the surface. “Oh, I’m just getting started.”

“Please tell me you’re joking.”

“I have to make up for lost time.” He winked. “Besides, you know you love it.”

I did. I loved everything about him, including his constant sarcasm. In fact, I preferred it to the brooding and secretive boy he’d been back at his house. This Austin was the one I was familiar with. The one I’d been attracted to from the first time I’d seen him. Once I made my way around to his side of the car, he offered me his hand, and I gratefully took it. As his fingers closed over mine, I was struck with how amazing this was. And we had an entire summer together.

Tonight was just the beginning.

The top half of my body was warm from the sun, while the lower part was cooling in the water. Lowering my arms, my hands slipped under the surface, welcoming the relief from the heat. As the wave came at me, I got in position. Luca giggled by my left side, while Austin let out a celebratory hoot on my right.

Smiling, I glanced over at him.

“Oh, no.” He shook his head. “You better keep your eyes on the wave. Remember what happened the other times you’ve let yourself get distracted with all this goodness.” He opened up his arms as if showing off his muscles. It was supposed to be funny, but my heart flipped in my chest at the gesture.

The truth was that he did look good, and it
was
distracting. But I wasn’t giving him the satisfaction of telling him so. Instead, I chuckled and shook my head. “Don’t worry. I’m focused.”

Turning away from him, I stared at the wave. When it got close enough, I lunged into it. My body drifted on top, the wind rushing through my dampened hair. When the wave died down, I leapt under the water, savoring the coolness of it. When I popped up, my gaze found Luca bobbing in the water a few feet from me. He was looking over my shoulder, pointing and laughing. “What?” I asked him, peering over my shoulder.

Austin shot out of the water, sputtering. Lifting his hand, he sluiced liquid from his face.

“He totally missed the wave.” Luca guffawed.

“Really? So who was distracted now?” Raising one eyebrow, I moved toward him. The water was choppy, and it creeped up my body.

“You know that was your plan all along.” His hand latched onto mine from underneath the water. With very little effort, he dragged me forward until we were mere inches apart.

“What are you talking about?”

His gaze dropped to my chest. “You mean to tell me that suit isn’t supposed to distract me?”

I giggled.

His arms circled my waist. Our chests bumped. When his eyes lowered to my lips, my face heated up. Acutely aware of my brother behind me and my dad on the shore, I playfully pushed him away until his arms reluctantly released me.

“We have an audience,” I answered the silent question on his face.

“I had forgotten. Your bathing suit had brainwashed me.”

“Stop.” I shook my head. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Oh, I’m ridiculous?” His eyes widened in mock offense.

“That’s what I said.” Laughing, I backed away from him. I knew that look, and I was sure I was in for it. As he came toward me, I squealed and whirled away from him. Knowing I could move faster if I swam, I dove under. Gaining momentum, I pulled with my arms and kicked with my legs. But it was no use. One thing had always been certain, Austin was a better swimmer than me. I’d beat him at a lot of sports, but swimming was not one of them. I knew he’d swam competitively as a young boy, and no doubt his summers here had helped him grow that skill.

Pretty soon, his fingers clamped around my ankle. He yanked me toward him. My head bobbed up in time for his fingers to attack my middle. It wasn’t fair that I was ticklish but Austin wasn’t. As his fingertips brushed over my skin, an involuntary laughed escaped through my lips.

“Stop...it,” I demanded between giggles.

“Only if you admit that I’m not ridiculous,” he instructed, still tickling me.

“But…lying…is…wrong.” I gasped for air in between fits of laughter. My feet flailed and kicked in the water as I tried to get away from him and his torturous tickling.

“Wrong answer.” His fingers moved faster, the tickles intensifying.

“Luca, help me!” I yelled.

Austin clucked his tongue. “Man, you must be desperate if you’re calling on your little brother for help.”

It didn’t matter anyway. Luca wasn’t interested in helping me. From where he languished in the water, he merely chuckled and shook his head. I should’ve known better. Austin was like a real-life superhero to him.

With much effort, I was finally able to pry Austin’s fingers off and scramble away. I told myself I had overpowered him, but in all truthfulness, I think he let me go. Together we rode the waves a little longer, and then we headed back onto the shore. Dad had packed a cooler full of waters and snacks. He passed them out after we dried off. As Austin and I sucked down waters and inhaled a bag of chips, Luca and Dad went off to play Frisbee.

“You two wanna join us?” Dad asked before they made their way down the beach.

“No.” I shook my head.

“Thanks for asking though,” Austin added politely.

Austin was typically sarcastic and arrogant. Whenever this well-mannered side of him popped up, it surprised me. I smirked at him, and he shook his head.

After Dad and Luca were out of earshot, Austin said, “Your dad’s pretty cool.”

“I don’t know if I’d use the word “cool” to describe him.” I glanced at the bag of fruit snacks I’d just pulled out of the cooler. “He still kinda treats me like I’m five.”

Austin shrugged, a pensive expression on his face that turned my stomach. “He cares about you.” His tone carried an emotion I wasn’t used to hearing from him. The only other time I’d noticed it was when he was accusing me of kissing other guys, and that’s how I recognized it as jealousy.

“He cares about you too,” I told him before popping a fruit snack in my mouth.

“He just wants to keep an eye on me.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Make sure I don’t defile his daughter.”

I giggled. “Defile, huh? That sounds scary.”

“Not if you do it right.” He threw me a wink that made my body temperature rise by about a thousand degrees.

Placing his hands in the sand, he leaned back and chuckled. With his face upturned, the sun shone down on his skin, causing it to illuminate. Often I was struck by how good-looking he was, but right now I was bowled over by it. Shaky, I took another gulp of my water. In fact, I took such a large gulp I ended up choking. Bending over, I coughed into the sand, dropping my water bottle near my legs. Liquid leaked out, pooling in the sand and turning it to sticky mud.

“You okay?” Austin scooted closer to me, gently patting my back.

I knew he meant well, but his actions made me feel like a toddler. My cheeks warmed. When I finally regained composure, I sat up and forced a smile.

“Just went down the wrong pipe,” I explained. “But I’m fine now.”

“I have a feeling your guardian angel works overtime.” A grin painting his face, he shook his head.

His words gave me pause. “You believe in guardian angels?”

“Don’t you?”

I chomped down on my bottom lip. It tasted like strawberries. Must have been the fruit snacks. “Yeah, I do. I’m just a little surprised you do.”

“Why?” He leaned back on his hands again, pinning me with a challenging stare.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe because you act like you have it all together. Like you don’t need help.”

“Everyone needs help, summer girl.”

***

The soccer ball flew past Austin landing smack dab in the middle of the net before he could block it. While he muttered a curse under his breath, I let out a victory whoop. After retrieving the ball, he jogged over to me. With his free hand, he swiped at the sweat on his brow. It was clear from the look on his face that he was done.

“Had enough?”

He snorted. “Why? You still wanna play?”

“I will if you will.”

“Man, you never let me off the hook easily, do you?”

I knew he was joking, but it made me feel a little bad. There had been a shift in our relationship this summer, yet it was hard for me to keep up with it. So often I found myself slipping back into what was comfortable for me. And competition was comfortable for me. I’d never been the pretty or popular girl. I wasn’t the class clown or the drama queen or even the intellect. I was the athlete, the sporty one.

When things became romantic between Austin and me, it forced me outside of my comfort zone. Even though it was something I craved, it was still difficult for me. It made me insecure, and sometimes I worried that I’d disappoint him. That I wouldn’t be the kind of girl Austin wanted.

But the girl on the soccer field spouting off trash talk had already proven herself. Austin had already admitted he liked her.

Still, I knew I had to reel her in sometimes. If I shattered Austin’s ego, that would be the end of us. When we were only friends, it may have been all right to push it a little too far. But now I had to be more careful.

Stretching, I exhaled. “No, you’re right. I’m done too. It’s hot out here, and I’m beat.” That wasn’t a complete lie. It was hot out. Like morbidly hot. But the second part wasn’t true. I wasn’t beat. I could’ve easily went another few rounds. Then again, I was used to playing soccer for hours. As much as I’d threatened Dad last summer that I wasn’t trying out for the high school soccer team, I did in fact try out. And, of course, I’d made it. Therefore, I’d spent many hours on the soccer field this year.

Leaning forward, Austin gently fanned his lips over my cheek. It felt like gratitude, and I was glad I’d decided to back off. If it kept earning me kisses, I could learn to be less competitive.
Ah, who was I kidding?
I’d never be less competitive, but I could pretend to be for Austin’s sake.

“I gotta say, I didn’t think it was possible for you to play any better than you did last year, but you proved me wrong.”

My heart soared at his compliment. “Thanks.”

He snaked an arm over my shoulder as we walked forward, stamping our footprints across the green grass. “I’m glad you didn’t give up on soccer.”

“Me too,” I agreed.

“What changed your mind?”

The grass ended, and our feet hit the concrete. Somehow it seemed hotter over here. The hair hanging down from my ponytail stuck to my neck. I lifted it, enjoying the glorious breeze as it skated over my dampened skin.

“I don’t know.” I thought about it for a second. “I mean, Dad and I had worked through most of our differences by the time I went back home. But I guess I was still on the fence because I thought it would be hard to play without him there. Ultimately it was the love of the game that convinced me. The thought of not playing killed me.”

He nodded as if mulling over my words. For a few minutes we walked in silence, his grip on my shoulder tightening. Several times I wanted to ask him what he was thinking about. It was clear that something was going on inside his head. But then I was hit with a memory.

It was right after Dad left, and I was in a really bad place. I was angry all the time, at everyone and everything. All rationale had flown out the window. Mom kept pressing me to talk, kept hounding me night and day. And I was getting sick of it. Plus, it’s not like it helped. It only made me angrier. Mainly because she wasn’t the person I was mad at. Therefore, she wasn’t the person who could fix it. So every time she forced me to talk, it only agitated me more.

At some point she must have realized this.

One night she came into my room, and without saying a word she gently drew me into an embrace. Then she held me for awhile. Neither of us said anything. We didn’t need to. Our hug had conveyed what we felt. I knew Mom loved me, and she knew I loved her.

After that, I knew she would be there for me no matter what. No matter if I was being a childish brat or an upstanding daughter. She wasn’t walking out on me. She wasn’t giving up. That was all I really needed to know.

And perhaps that was all Austin needed from me right now. So I pressed my lips together and leaned into him as we continued to walk in utter silence, his arm hooking us together.