Unwanted Stars (35 page)

Riley, you haven't touched your food.

Riley, your napkin fell down.

Riley, no elbows on the table.

Riley, your grandma asked you a question.

Riley, don't talk with your mouth full.

Poor kid! I felt like I needed to slip her some of my cocktail just to take the edge off. I kid! But, good lord, my sister could be a major pain in the ass. I did my best not to roll my eyes every time she corrected my poor (and actually very well-mannered) niece. I felt bad for her, knowing Maya was just trying to keep busy so she wouldn't have to look at me, the embarrassment of her existence.

Since I'd been home, the only thing she'd said to me was one thing at the rehearsal dinner. Brace yourselves, this shit is intense. Ready? She said, "So, how's Europe?" That's it. Even with all the drama going on, she clearly didn't care enough to talk to me about it. As always, I was merely an annoyance. Screw Maya Kelly. I didn't have time to deal with her bullshit. I was the Maid of Honor, dammit! And it must suck to watch your brother get married when you'd just gone through a divorce. Not that I was feeling sorry for Maya. Not at all.

Hadley and Jason shared their first dance. I wasn't surprised to hear Eternal Flame coming through the speakers. That was their song. It brought them together more than once and would always be special for them. They ended their dance with a twirl and a kiss. The wedding guests applauded. And I watched as my dad stood and walked to Jason, tapping him on the shoulder. Hadley looked surprised. She'd purposely not planned for a father-daughter dance, for obvious reasons.

"May I cut in?" he asked. Jason smiled wide, shaking his hand. Dad patted him on the back. Hadley pressed her hands to her mouth as she heard the first few notes of the song. Within seconds, the beautiful melody of “Here Comes the Sun” was pouring through the speakers.

The Beatles were Mr. Foster's favorite. His absolute favorite. Hadley had mentioned more than once that if he was still alive they would have most certainly danced to “In my Life,” which he used to sing to her when she was young. Stanford Kelly wasn't trying to replace Martin Foster. He was just showing his own love and support for his new daughter in law. It was just his way and I could tell Hadley was beyond touched.

They danced around the floor, chatting and laughing, and I imagined they shared memories of her father as they danced. God, I loved my dad. He was a good man with a heart worth loving. There was no denying it.

When the dance finished, Hadley wrapped her arms around my dad, pulling him in for a hug and thanking him profusely. He placed a chaste kiss on her forehead before leading her off the dance floor.

The DJ invited everyone to join the happy couple, so Campbell took my hand and we walked to the center, dancing with the crowd.

"You're so good with my family," I said.

"They're pretty great," he replied.

"They're okay."

"May I cut in?" asked the voice of Stanford Kelly. His silver hair was sparkling in the light of the giant disco ball above our heads. His glasses sat upon his face, his eyebrows struggling not to knit together in apprehension.

"Of course," Campbell said, placing my hand in my dad's. "I'll be back."

"Hi, sweetheart," Dad said.

"Hey," I said, again breaking eye contact. I glanced around the room as we started to dance.

"You look beautiful. And Campbell, he seems like a really nice guy."

My dad sucks at small talk.

"Thanks. He's pretty great."

We danced awkwardly for several seconds before he broke the silence.

"I owe you...such an apology," he began, clearing his throat, allowing his eyebrows to wrinkle in concern. "Your mother and I...we messed up. Years ago, we knew. We knew we should tell you the truth. But I guess we didn't want to share you."

"And she didn't want me," I said.

"In time, she would have. We told ourselves we were protecting you. But, I'm not sure anymore. I think we were being selfish, wanting to pretend we were your actual parents."

"You were. And you are. That's not going to change."

"Thanks, sweetheart."

"I'm not gonna lie. I haven't forgiven you yet. Not entirely."

"I know, but I'm hopeful."

"Good," I said, kissing him on the cheek. "I love you, Dad. What you did for Hadley tonight, that was amazing."

"It was nothing," he said, brushing off the compliment, but his cheeks turned rosy and I knew he appreciated the sentiment. "She means a lot to the family."

"Agreed."

"May I cut in?" Campbell asked, tapping my dad on the shoulder just as one song ended and another began.

"Sure." Dad said. "Take care of my baby."

"I will, Sir."

He patted Campbell on the back before walking back to where my mom was sitting with Gemma.

"You have perfect timing sometimes."

"Uh oh. Did I interrupt too soon? You looked...ready."

"You make me feel so loved," I said. "Even with all the craziness of my life. You've made everything better somehow."

"I do my best. Sometimes I don’t really know what to do."

"You are wonderful. I'm still smiling because of you. Because of your presence in my life. You're my strength."

"Nah, you're plenty strong all on your own."

I threw my head back in laughter. "I'm a mess and you know it."

"And who wouldn't be? You've been put through the bloody ringer."

"I love when you swear in British. It's so cute."

"Shit. Now I'm cute? I'm slipping, huh? You used to think I was hot."

"That too. But right now...cute."

"I guess I can live with that."

"Good," I said, leaning into his shoulder, placing my chin on the muscle of the arm that was wrapped around my waist. He made me feel so safe.

"Hey, want to go for a walk?" he asked. His tone was cautious, and immediately I thought back to yesterday morning. When he'd returned with Jason, he knew something was wrong. He'd asked me why my mom was there and I'd lied, telling him she was there to see Hadley and insisted I talk to her. But I'm a terrible liar and he saw through me. Just like Hadley, he held off, giving me time, but I had a feeling my time was very much up.

We walked into the lobby of the library, the heels of my shoes clicking on the tile. Campbell's hand held mine and I mentally prepared for an interrogation of sorts. I knew he would be gentle in his approach, but considering I still didn't know if I wanted to share the pregnancy scare with him, I wasn't ready for this conversation. At all.

"Now that the wedding is done and the party's winding down, I need to ask you something."

"Okay."

"Why was your mother really at your brother's place yesterday? I know you, Auden. If you weren't ready to see her, you would've sent her away, or you would've left yourself. And Hadley calling to ask for bagels? That was a dead giveaway. No one even ate them!"

"I know...I was going to tell you. I just wasn't ready."

"That's fine. I understand that. But you haven't been yourself at all since I got back with those bloody bagels."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he said, running his fingers through his hair. "I want you to trust me. I need you to trust me. You can tell me anything."

"My period was late."

"Oh. Wow."

"Nice reaction," I said with a scowl.

"No, no, it's just, we always use protection. I was surprised."

"We didn't once. In the shower. After Tabitha. And the hallway. Remember?"

"Oh...right. Of course," he said, waiting for me to continue. When I didn't, he asked, "So, should we get you a test?"

"No, I, uh, I got it. It came. Yesterday morning."

"Oh," he said, his eyebrows scrunched.

"Okay, mixed signals, pal. I told you I was late and you say 'wow,’ and now you look disappointed. I thought you'd be relieved. I know I was."

"I'm not disappointed, but I'm not relieved either."

"Really?"

"Well, yeah. I want a family with you. We would've made it work. I'd be an excellent dad, don't you think?"

"Of course I do," I said. "But I think I'd be a shitty mom. Especially right now."

"You sell yourself short. You'd be a brilliant mum."

"You think so?"

"Of course."

"Wow."

"Nice reaction," he teased, mocking me with a fake scowl. I swatted him playfully on the arm. "But that still doesn't explain your mother being at the apartment."

"I, uh, I had a panic attack."

"Oh no," he said, pulling me into him, wrapping his arms around my waist." I feel terrible I wasn't there to help. I could've calmed you down."

"Maybe," I said, leaning my head on his firm shoulder. "But I'm kinda glad you weren't."

"Why?" he asked, tilting his head down to make eye contact.

"If you'd been there, I never would've asked for Charlotte." I shrugged. "I never would've asked for my mom."

"Well, then I guess everything happens for a reason."

"I guess it does."

My dearest Auden

I’d love for you to consider coming for tea. We still have so much to discuss. I want to take responsibility for my actions. Please come by when you return from your latest tour.

All my love

Nan

I finished reading the e-mail for the sixth time before tucking my phone back into my purse. I was going to cave and talk to Nan since we'd managed to avoid each other while both in Illinois. I had to hear her side of things. I was getting unusually accepting of other people's point of views lately. First, though, I had more questions for Tabitha.

I had two parents. I wasn't sure I wanted three.

I stepped off the tube and walked the rest of the way to Harrods. It'd been months since I'd met with her last, and so much had happened in that time. I wanted her to know that I understood how shocked and overwhelmed she must have been, and that despite my anger, I was ready to forgive. I wanted to know, though, what her intentions were—why she dragged me into all of this after twenty-three years. What did she expect of me?

She looked stunned when I rounded the corner of men's fragrance and our eyes locked. Briefly, she appeared pleased, but that quickly changed to apprehension.

"Allo, miss," she said in an overly fake tone, as if she was pretending not to know me. Strange. Was this really the same person that had walked into my life and turned it completely upside down?

"Hi," I began quietly. "Can you talk?"

"We have quite a few new items. Would you care to see some samples?" she asked as she glanced around the counter. Her demeanor was strange, as if she was being watched.

"What's your deal?" I snapped. I didn't have time for games. I was trying to make peace, for God's sake!

"You can't be here," she hissed.

"Excuse me?" I scoffed. "Are you kidding me right now?" I allowed my volume to increase, just to be difficult.

"I'll meet you outside in ten minutes. But if you stay you'll get me fired. My manager's all over my arse," she said, glancing behind her.

"Fine, whatever," I said, putting my hand up in annoyance.

"Come back soon." Her tone was gingerly sweet. It made me sick to my stomach.

This conversation was far from over.