Up All Night Long: From Lust to Love (Romance Anthology) (5 page)

"I'm going to kill Frank, by the way." Her brother spoke against her hair.

She nodded and took in a shaky breath. "I keep thinking that these horrible emotions will stop. One minute I'm fine and the next I think I'm the most worthless person in the universe."

Marc moved back and put his hands around her face, tilting it up toward him. The stern look on his features fit him better than she imagined it might. "You’re beautiful and smart, funny and loving. You are everything any man would want. He cheated on you because he is worthless without physical stimulation to remind him that he's a man and he's wanted. He's a piece of shit and you are a priceless jewel. Do you hear me?"

She felt tears swim against her vision as she bit into her lip. He pulled her close again as she simply nodded her agreement. Lisa broke into the moment with a loud, exasperated sigh.

"I guess I need to go."

Kari moved back and wiped her eyes as Marc questioned Lisa's reason for leaving.

"So soon?" He put an arm around Kari, but his attention was all for Lisa.

"I guess. My roommate locked herself out of the house and needs me to come over and let her in." She shrugged, turning her attention toward Kari. "Alright, well... I love you. I'll be over tomorrow night after work. Good luck putting in your notice tomorrow."

Marc stiffened beside her. "Notice for what?"

Lisa winced. "Oh shit. I thought he knew. Okay, well - I'm out."

Kari growled at her friend, walking her to the door and turning back toward her brother, his hands on his hips. The look in his eyes was pensive.

"Tell me what's going on - now."

Chapter 4

Steve sat back in his chair, Kari waiting for the explosion. Her boss had taken her under his wing for the last two years and had tried to start grooming her for larger responsibilities at the newspaper. She was happy just taking photos here and there wherever he needed her, but Steve wanted to eventually get her in front of a camera. She was quiet and introverted by nature, her willingness to stay in the background suiting her perfectly as a photographer, but he wouldn't have it.

"Where the hell is Bar Harbor? Is it even big enough to be on a map?" he grumbled, turning toward his computer, his thinning black hair combed over as best he could manage. He reached up and smoothed it down as if her thoughts were being read.

She crossed her arms across her chest and leaned back in her chair, so grateful that he hadn't thought to scream at her just yet. The meeting wasn't over, but he seemed to be taking it better than she thought he would. He was highly emotional and belonged on a Broadway stage somewhere rather than behind a desk at a newspaper. He was rail thin and yet his eyes shone with secrets that the world might die to know about.

"It's in Maine," Kari responded, suddenly realizing that she didn't know much more than that. Having just made the decision to move with Lisa and Sicily, she hadn't really taken the time to dig deep into what her new surroundings would look like. She honestly didn't care. It would most likely just be an extended vacation and then she'd return to New York. How a city girl would ever survive anywhere but the heart of the city was beyond her.

"Well no shit, Sherlock. I knew that. But in the scope of your career... where is this place? Is it where Bigfoot has been seen or where Jimmy Hoffa's bones have been claimed to be buried?" He turned from the computer, his thin fingers tapping rapidly on the large wooden desk between them.

"I don't know. I just know that life has thrown a truck full of lemons at me and I need to get out of here, Steve." She sighed, her fingers coming up to rub along the bridge of her nose, his stare burning a hole in the top of her head.

"I understand."

She looked up, waiting for the rest of his dissertation on how he understood all right. He understood that she was running instead of fighting. He understood that she was racing from a great and grand career to the middle of nowhere. He understood that she was throwing away the opportunity to be coached and mentored by one of the best known names in newspaper in the twenty-first century.

He stopped at simply,
I understand?

"You understand what?" she muttered, her hands dropping back into her lap, trying to remain focused as the colorful awards that littered the walls of his large office called for her attention. Just beyond his chair was one of the best views of the New York City lights, the small corner of the city snuggling in the newspaper as if it were one of its own and beloved.

And it was.

"I understand having your heart ripped from your chest and needing to go heal." He shrugged. "I used to live in Los Angeles and I'm here now because my first wife took everything from me. It wasn't the house or the cars that hurt so much, but knowing that she didn't love me anymore. Knowing that I'd spent so many years saying 'no' to every advance for both relationships and my career just to make her happy. I gave up everything for her and she took my life - my heart - and crushed it."

Kari shook her head, her heart aching more for the man in front of her than for her own situation. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

He nodded and breathed in deeply. "Yeah, no one does. I'd like to keep it that way, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'll miss you, kiddo. I'll put in a call in Bar Harbor to the local paper and see if I can get you a job. They'll know my name if nothing else."

"No, you don't need to do that. I can find something to just pay some of the rent and buy groceries. I don't want to burden you at all. I feel horrible having to put in my notice with all of the time and energy you've put into my career over the last few years." Kari rubbed her fingers together absently, her emotions threatening to choke her. The last thing she needed was Steve being nice.

He was the one who had demanded more from her, the one who’d pushed her past her breaking point and every time he had, she'd come out on top. He was the reason her photos were as good as they were. He was the reason she'd stepped far out of her comfort zone and into places and situations that she never thought possible. Her job had helped not only make her a damn good photographer, but given her the willingness to pretend to be fearless until she truly was. She leaned up and grabbed a Kleenex from the small box on his desk, touching her eyes with it as emotions swam over her vision.

"I am too doing that. I will miss you like crazy, but here's to hoping you'll come home when your heart heals." He leaned back in his chair and pushed a few more buttons on his computer, a smirk running across his thin lips. "Have you seen this place? Looks like an old-timey Normal Rockwell painting. Are you sure you know what you're signing up for?"

She shook her head and let herself be completely honest. "I have no idea, but if I've learned anything from you over the last few years, it's to be brave and walk into the unknown as if you've visited it a thousand times."

He smiled. "That's my girl."

Their goodbye had been quick, a stiff hug between them, but their parting words had given her comfort and renewed her sense of adventure. Life had thrown such a curveball her way, and yet because of it she was moving away from home, learning a new place and willing to eventually meet new people. The prayer was that she would meet someone who would love her the way she wanted to be loved - the way she loved.

Her phone buzzed in her purse and she checked it, her brother, Marc making sure they were still meeting for an early dinner in Times Square. She confirmed and got into her car, resting her head on the headrest before bringing the car to life. More than anyone in the world, she would miss her little brother. He was her very best friend, her closest companion, the one quick to jump each time she needed him to, to defend her and to love her with silly openness.

He was a jerk to most, a whore to many, and yet he was a perfect gentleman, a prince to her. She adjusted the rearview mirror to look at herself, her makeup smeared from crying. She fixed her eyes and smiled at herself.

"You got this... you can do it." She nodded and readjusted the mirror, focusing on the traffic around her before pulling out into the mid-afternoon busyness.

*

Parking was a nightmare and yet something like hope sat on Kari, her thoughts distracted by the very idea of a 'new beginning'. She was so grateful for the opportunity to move with two of her closest friends, the childish part of her excited to have roommates again and not be alone so often. She'd moved into the small apartment a year before, when she and Frank had starting getting more serious, the two of them wanting a place to spend time together without Sicily's excessive cleaning or Lisa's harping on him. Lisa hated him with a passion and was more than thrilled to remind him every chance she got.

Kari smiled at the thought, parking her small Honda in a covered garage and slipping out into the small space afforded her. Marc had chosen a quaint Italian restaurant for dinner, simply because it was Kari's favorite. She shut her door and walked quickly, hating the thought of being in the closed space. Her artistic side screamed for fresh air and open spaces. She jogged to the small elevator, the parking garage completely filled and yet not a soul was in sight. The workday still had a few hours left to it.

She moved back and held the small door for an elderly couple as they walked out, the little old woman helping to hold up the man. Kari smiled and nodded as they thanked her, her heart squeezing painfully in her chest as she slipped into the metal box and pressed her back against the far wall. She wanted love so badly that she'd almost settled for someone who would abuse her emotions with his lack of care.

"I'll be more careful this time," she whispered to herself as she walked onto the busy streets of Times Square. Being careful meant not falling for the first handsome man who holds the door open. It meant not saying 'yes' to anyone until she was assured of who she was as a single woman. Four years of belonging to someone left her quite unsure of who she was in the world. This change from New York to Maine would only compound that, but once she got settled, she could focus on learning more about herself.

She wanted to paint. She'd done so as a child, but had put it up when she got too busy in high school, and then through the divorce of her parents, there wasn't much color in the world to paint about. Kari realized that it was something that weighed heavily on her still. She needed to reach out to her father, but the situation with Frank made her angry at him all over again. How could he have cheated on her mom? She was perfection.

"Because he's a bastard, just like Frank... just like all men." She walked into the small cafe, the aroma of garlic and fresh tomatoes rushing to greet her. She stopped and let her shoulders drop, her eyes closing as she breathed in deeply and let the smile that tugged at her mouth lift her lips completely.

"Ahhhh, Kari. How's my girl?" Geno, the owner of the restaurant walked toward her, his large body pouring out from the sides of his small crimson stained apron. She laughed and walked into his hug, groaning as he squeezed her far too tight and lifted her from the ground.

"Hey... watch it, big boy." Marc walked up and extended his hand, Kari pulling off her small, lightweight coat and handing it to her brother. It was early spring, and yet the weather hadn't decided to act like anything other than winter.

"Who-a you calling big, meathead?" Geno turned to Marc and playfully patted his stomach, the older man's accent heavily Italian. Marc winked and pointed to his sister.

"Did she tell you that she's leaving us?"

Geno gasped and turned back to Kari as they started to walk toward "her” table. "What is he-a talking about? You cannot leave us. I make-a you favorite food."

Kari reached over and slipped her hand into Geno's arm, snuggling into the side of him. "I know. I just need to get out of here for a while. I'll be back. I promise."

"Did a boy do-a this?" Geno looked at Marc before he pulled out the seat and motioned for Kari to sit. She did and her brother filled up the restaurant with his thoughts of Frank. After he and Geno stopped bashing the jerk, Marc sat down and smiled across the table at her.

"Sorry. I hated that asshole the day I met him and hate him more now." Marc offered her bread from the small white basket that sat between them.

"Well, at least he won’t be in the family now." She shrugged and took her bread, pulling her napkin in her lap. "Thanks for bringing me here. I love this place."

"Yeah, I know. Remember that guy you dated in high school? What was that old boy's name? Oh yeah... Vinny." Marc laughed as Kari rolled her eyes. "Wasn’t he Geno's nephew or something?"

"He was my godson. Horrible boy. He's in jail now for stealing a bunch of liquor from old man Whistler’s." Geno's voice bellowed behind Kari as she chuckled. "You guys wanna try my new raviolis? Stuffed them a few minutes ago with goodness and a-love."

Marc pretended to gag. "I'm good with chicken parm, but I'm sure Kari will try your girly-ass concoction."

Kari swatted at her brother before turning to look at Geno, the warm smile on his portly face wrapping a sense of belonging around her. Could she go to another state? A place where there was no belonging? Where her brother wasn't going to be a stone's throw away?

"You try it for me, Kari? Your brother is too a-scared. He's a chicken." Geno started to flap his large arms and make bird noises. Kari turned back in time to see Marc's face flush. He raised his hand and waved at the restaurant owner.

"Oh, hell no. We'll both eat it. Pack my chicken parm for my dinner and I'll let you know exactly how your love pastries taste." Marc looked down at Kari, his eyebrow raising as if he'd won a great argument. She simply laughed, unwilling to correct him. Geno had very much won the argument as they were both forgoing their favorite meals and trying something new he had worked up in the back.

"Well, the good thing is that no matter what Geno makes, it's always delicious." Kari buttered her bread, sinking her teeth into the warm gooeyness.

"Yeah, well don't tell him that. His ego is already so big that I think we might have to start greasing the damn doors to get him through." Marc laughed and shoved a whole piece of bread in his mouth, smiling and letting a few crumbs fall back out.

"Gross. I swear... when are you going to grow up?" Kari mumbled at her brother as she enjoyed the wide smile on his face, her memories keeping him as a spunky seven-year-old kid with the same goofy grin.

He reached for his water and took a large drink, swallowing loudly before wiping his mouth. "I have to grow up? Says who? I love being a kid. I have two more years of college and then I'm going for my master’s degree. Seems to me like growing up would be a horrible waste of energy. I need to focus on school, silly girl."

She rolled her eyes, agreeing with him. "Yes... growing up is a horrible waste of energy. Forget I said it."

"Already done." He winked and she chuckled, sitting back as their salads hit the table before them.