Up High in the Trees (15 page)

I'm waiting and waiting, but Dad is not coming home from the store and it's getting dark now. I keep sitting at the bottom of the stairs, watching the door and listening for Dad. I can't get up since I didn't turn on any of the lights and now everywhere inside the house is dark. I bite the inside of my cheek to taste the blood in my mouth and that makes me feel better.

This kind of dark is scary.

I like the dark inside closets because I know that it's light outside in the rest of the house. When Mother's head was hurting really bad, I used to help her cover all the windows in my room to make it dark, all the way black dark, and then we liked to sit in there together. I would keep my eyes closed and then open them and nothing changed because the dark was so dark it was like the dark inside of my head.

I know what I have to do. I have to cut the sheet with the knife and make eye holes, but I am stuck at the bottom of the steps. I bite the inside of my cheek again and I think about how Mother said that it's a bad habit and I should try not to do it.

The dark is everywhere. Sometimes I think I hear Dad coming and I wait for the door to open, but nothing happens. If Jackson comes and rings the doorbell now, I can't answer it because I'm not ready.

Then the door opens. Dad doesn't see me in the dark.

Dad, I say and my voice scares him because he doesn't know I'm right here.

Jesus Christ, Sebby, Dad says and he turns on the light.

You took a long time, I tell him.

He doesn't say anything. Dad has two bags of groceries and I can see now that his face is red and sweaty from carrying them.

Did you buy scissors? I ask.

Oh shit, says Dad.

How are we going to cut the sheet? I ask and follow him into the kitchen.

We'll figure it out, he says.

But we don't have time, I say, because it's already dark and Halloween is right now.

Dad stops putting the groceries away. I watch him take a deep breath.

Bring me the sheet, says Dad.

When I come back, Dad's holding the big knife. He takes the sheet from me and cuts all the way around to make it shorter. He doesn't cut very straight, but that's okay since I think that makes it look scarier. Then Dad folds the sheet in half and he pokes two holes at the top for my eyes.

Here, he says, try it on.

It's a little bit long, but I like it.

Come over here, says Dad. He cuts off a piece from the leftover sheet and uses that like a scarf to tie around my neck.
Now the ghost costume stays on me and I can run and it won't fall off.

I run upstairs to the big mirror in the bathroom and I look at myself. I'm only kind of scary because you can see the yellow flowers through the sheet. Maybe outside in the dark you won't be able to see the flowers. I run around fast at first and then slower, like how a ghost moves, and I keep going back to the mirror to see what I look like again.

When the doorbell rings, I run downstairs to answer. Jackson is there in his black ninja costume with his ninja mask and I know his costume is better than mine.

Are you ready? Jackson asks.

Yes, I tell him.

We're only allowed to stay out for an hour, Jackson's sister tells me. I'm in charge of the time, she says and shows me the black watch on her wrist.

I nod, then look at her feet and see that she's wearing her white shoes. They're so white in the dark that her feet glow.

Come on, Jackson says and starts running.

I have to hold up the bottom of my sheet so I can run without tripping. It's hard to see because my glasses are getting foggy from my breathing. I can hear Shelly behind me. Her white shoes make loud clicking noises on the sidewalk.

We gotta get to the good street, Jackson tells me when he stops to catch his breath.

Okay, I say.

They give out whole big candy bars, he says.

Shelly catches up to us and starts to cry.

I can't go that fast, she says.

You should have gone out with Mom, Jackson yells at her.

She just sits down and cries with her hands covering her ears and pretends she can't hear anything.

None of the houses here have their lights on for Halloween. I don't know where we are. The dark is all over and it makes everything far away, like you can't touch anything and I think I could run and run and still it would be dark like this with nothing to touch.

I think of Cass, far away with Leo. In my head, I can't see them. I can only see our house from the outside and I know they are somewhere inside of it. Even though it's night, I think of Ms. Lambert at school, sitting on her desk in front of the class with one ankle crossed over the other. She takes her black-and-white Chap Stick out of her pocket and I watch how she puts it on. Katya's wearing her yellow sweater. I can see her standing alone in the dark on the grassy school field.

Shelly cries louder and she's kicking at Jackson so he can't get close enough to talk to her. I want Shelly to stop because out here the sound goes everywhere and everyone can hear us.

Shelly, please stop, I tell her. I'm leaning forward, close to her ear.

Shelly looks at me. Her face is red and wet.

I'm not getting up unless you go slower, says Shelly. Her voice sounds stuffy like she has a cold.

Fine, Jackson says, I hope you know you're a big baby.

I'm telling, Shelly says.

Go ahead, says Jackson and he grabs her arm to pull her up so she's standing. Then he starts running, still holding her arm and pulling her along.

I run again, too, and it's quiet except for the sound of our feet. Running in the dark feels like being alone. I have to keep up with Jackson or I will be lost. I'm breathing hard and the air hurts the back of my throat. My sheet keeps slipping down and then I almost trip.

Here! Jackson yells and he stops.

Down the street, the houses are big and lit up and there are other kids. We can walk now because we made it. Jackson still holds Shelly's arm and has to pull her.

The first house we go to has fake cobwebs all over it and plastic skeletons and spooky music playing out the windows. Kids come running down the front steps and they push past us on our way up. I stay close behind Jackson and Shelly. Another kid comes down the steps by himself. He's wearing one of those plastic costumes you can buy at a drugstore. He's supposed to be the beast from the cartoon movie
Beauty and the Beast.

She's only got Raisinets left, he tells us.

Jackson doesn't say anything to him, so I don't either.

At the top of the steps, a woman with gray hair says, Boo. She's not wearing a costume really, but she has fuzzy cat ears on her headband.

We take her Raisinets and run back down the stairs.

At the next house we get Snickers.

These are the best, Jackson says. He opens his and takes a bite before he puts it in his bag.

Come on, he says with his mouth full.

Shelly holds up her watch in the light from the house and it says 8:37. That means an hour already passed. Shelly starts crying again, not loud like before, but soft and quiet.

You take her now, Jackson says and gives me Shelly's arm.

I try to pull her along.

Come on, Shelly, I say, walk.

Jackson's getting way ahead of us.

We have to go faster, I tell her. I pull her a little harder. Jackson's waiting for us in front of the biggest house at the end of the street.

We're not going to get any candy if you guys go that slow, says Jackson.

Sorry, I tell him.

This is all your fault, Shelly yells at him.

Jackson ignores her and I follow him up the steps to the front door. I have to pull Shelly along with me. At the top of the stairs there's a note that says
PLEASE ONLY ONE EACH
, and below it is a bucket. A little kid dressed like a pirate with an eye patch and a stuffed-animal parrot stuck on his shoulder reaches in and pulls out something like a ball.

What the hell is that? says a bigger kid with a bloody skeleton mask.

I think it's a real shrunken head, Jackson says.

A kid dressed up in a furry tiger suit throws up all over himself.

That's disgusting, someone says.

We all reach into the bucket at the same time to grab one of the balls. Then we run back down the steps fast and I don't even have to pull Shelly.

At the next house we get peanut M&M's and then we get Tootsie Pops and then Kit Kat bars and that's it, because a brown van in the street honks at us three times.

Jackson says, Oh crap, it's Mom.

Shelly grabs my hand and takes me with her to the van. Jackson comes behind us. Their mom doesn't say anything when we get in.

Are you mad, Mom? Jackson asks her. She looks at him with her eyes small and mean.

Jackson made us come here and he was pulling me and hurting me, Shelly says and starts crying again.

Jackson's mom drives and it's quiet except for Shelly's crying. The crying is okay now that we're inside the van and not out in the dark.

Jackson's mom pulls up in front of the white box house.

Here's your stop, she says.

I can't get the sliding van door open, so Jackson has to do it for me. He doesn't say anything. He just opens the door and I get out.

Dad's still sitting in the kitchen.

What're you doing? I ask him.

Huh, Dad says. He scratches his hand through his hair.

I take the weird ball thing out of my candy bag and put it down on the table in front of him.

What is it? I ask.

A pomegranate, says Dad.

I shrug. I don't know that word.

It's fruit, he says. You can eat it. He stands up and brings a plate and a knife back over to the table.

I watch how he cuts the pomegranate in half. Dad picks out a little red seed and eats it.

Try one, he tells me.

I can't eat in my ghost costume. I point to my mouth to show Dad there's no hole.

Here, I'll fix it, says Dad, but you have to take it off for a minute.

Dad pulls the sheet off me and then uses the pomegranate knife to cut a hole for my mouth. It leaves a stain on the sheet like blood.

That makes it scarier, Dad says. He helps me put the sheet back on and ties the scarf around my neck.

I don't really like how the inside of the pomegranate looks with so many little seeds, but I pick one out. It tastes kind of sweet and crunches when I chew.

See, Dad says, it's good.

So we keep picking out little seeds and eating them. Our fingers turn red. Dad laughs and I laugh, too.

Then the doorbell rings and I don't want to answer it. I think maybe it's Jackson's mom and she's going to tell Dad how we went really far away.

Who the hell could that be? asks Dad.

I don't move, so Dad stands up to go see who it is. He licks his fingers and wipes them off on his gray sweatpants before he opens the door.

Leo, Dad says.

Hi Dad, says Leo.

I run over to see him. His hair is longer and hangs down over his eyes.

Leo puts down his duffel bag and gives Dad a fast hug. I watch how Dad pats Leo on the back twice and then they step back to look at each other.

Leo, I say and he looks at me then.

What happened to you? Leo asks.

I'm a ghost, I tell him.

But your hands, he says.

My hands are messy from eating.

Sebby brought home a pomegranate, Dad says and I point to it over on the table.

Do you want some? I ask.

Nah, says Leo. He walks over to where I am and hugs me hard.

How you doing? he asks.

It's Halloween, I say.

I know, he says.

We're all standing in the kitchen now. Dad's rubbing his chin and it makes a scratchy sound because his beard is starting to grow back.

Well, Leo says to Dad, I was worried—I mean, you sounded weird on the phone. Leo puts his hands in his pockets and pushes them in as deep as they'll go.

I'm fine, Dad says. We're fine, he says and looks at me.

Leo nods.