Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century (39 page)

The Erotic Playsheet

Describe your feelings and desires at this moment.

I am feeling:
________________________________

The chakras I am most aware of are:
_____________________________________

The feelings in those chakras are:
___________________________________

I definitely want:
_______________________________________________

I definitely don’t want:
__________________________________________

By the end of this ritual, I would like to feel:
________________________________________________

My intention is:
_________________________________________

Right now, I want to use the following techniques and props:

Breath:
________________________________

Breath orgasm technique:
______________________________________

Erotic activity:
______________________________________

Cock massage strokes:
______________________________________

Position to fuck in:
______________________________________

Pussy massage strokes:
______________________________________

Ritual attire:
______________________________________

Ritual style:
______________________________________

Sensation-producing devices:
______________________________________

Sex toys:
______________________________________

Sounds:
______________________________________

Visualization:
______________________________________

Sensations I’d like to feel:
______________________________________

Let’s follow one woman and two couples as they create Tantric rituals that satisfy their particular needs and desires.

One of Those Days

Carol is a single mother who works in sales for a large corporation. This morning, she had to leave a meeting with an important client to pick up her son at his school and take him to the hospital because he got into a fight and broke his wrist. This afternoon, Carol was reprimanded by her boss, who questioned her commitment to the company. She got a lecture from her son’s principal about her parenting skills. And she got a call from her lover, Sonia, who wonders why Carol can’t spend more time with her.

On the opposite page you can see how Carol filled out her Erotic Playsheet when she finally got home.

To chill out, Carol draws a warm bath scented with essential oil of ylang-ylang. To warm up, she takes a deep breath, puts her face in the water, and screams “Fuck you!” at her boss and at the school principal. She takes another breath, puts her face in the water, and screams “You asshole!” at her son. Her third breath and scream is at her girlfriend: “Leave me alone!” Feeling considerably less tense and numb, Carol goes to her bedroom and locks the door. She lights her favorite rose-scented candle, opens the window for some fresh air, and puts
Pearl
in the CD player.

As she gets out her vibrator and her favorite dildo, she realizes that
Pearl
is not quite the right music for the come together section of her ritual. She puts ten minutes of a sensuous Brazilian instrumental on the CD player, with
Pearl
programmed to play right afterward.

Carol lies on her bed and begins the simplified Firebreath Orgasm. As she begins breathing into her solar plexus, Carol discovers she can’t even feel this part of her body. After several breaths, she begins to cry. She keeps on breathing, and the tears keep on flowing. As the energy moves up into her heart, her crying subsides and she feels the stirring of a warm, comforting fullness in her solar plexus.

As she breathes into her throat,
Pearl
begins. Janis wails “Move Over” as Carol sucks and tongues her dildo to lubricate it; then she slides it into her vagina. She turns her vibrator on high and places it on the exposed end of the dildo. As the rock and roll phase intensifies, Carol rolls over onto her hands and knees, breathing, Kegeling, vibrating her clitoris, and undulating her body like a wave. After her first orgasm, she rolls onto her back and keeps up her circular breathing. When her clitoris has become
less sensitive, Carol brings herself to orgasm again, this time combining her orgasm with a Clench and Hold.

Carol’s Erotic Playsheet

Describe your feelings and desires at this moment.

I am feeling:
Exhausted, drained, angry.

The chakras I am most aware of are:
Solar plexus.

The feelings in those chakras are:
Caved-in, hollow, empty.

I definitely want:
A clitoral orgasm with G-spot stimulation.

I definitely don’t want:
Anyone else around.

By the end of this ritual, I would like to feel:
Centered, powerful, at peace.

My intention is: To
take back my power.

Right now, I want to use the following techniques and props:

Breath:
Circular Breath.

Breath orgasm technique:
Simplified Firebreath Orgasm.

Erotic activity:
Selfloving.

Cock massage strokes:
N/A.

Position to fuck in:
Lying on my back. Maybe doggie style if I feel up to it.

Pussy massage strokes:
None.

Ritual attire:
Nothing.

Ritual style:
Simple, short, and solo.

Sensation-producing devices:
Electric vibrator.

Sex toys:
Large dildo.

Sounds:
I want to Listen to Janis Joplin’s Pearl CD as loudly as I can get away with.

Visualization:
Janis Joplin’s freedom, power, and resilience entering my solar plexus.

Sensations I’d like to feel:
Intensity.

When Carol lets go after the Clench and Hold, she lies flat on her back with her palms up, in the classic yoga corpse pose. In the afterglow, Carol meditates as Janis sings about freedom being just another word for nothing left to lose. Carol realizes that she does feel free, strong, and quite peaceful. By the time Janis asks the Lord for a Mercedes Benz, Carol is dozing off with a satisfied smile on her face.

Different Lives

Tiffany and Grant have been live-in lovers for two years. For the past four years, Tiffany has been working as a dominatrix to pay her way through drama school in New York. She earns a substantial amount of money and she enjoys her work. It has helped her develop and expand her sense of personal and sexual power.

Recently, however, Tiffany has been feeling out of balance. She is trying to connect more with her compassionate, intuitive, spiritual side. Earlier this week, Tiffany auditioned for and was cast in a supporting role in an independent film to be shot in Los Angeles. Having recently graduated, Tiffany feels it’s time to change careers and move to L.A. She is thrilled with her new acting job, but apprehensive about all the changes that this will bring.

Grant is a writer. He has written two books of critical essays, both of which were published and well received. His dream is to be a best-selling novelist. He has spent the better part of the past year writing an erotic thriller for which he had high hopes. This week, his agent informed him that three publishers turned down the book, calling it too cerebral, theoretical, unrealistic, and unsexy. Grant has no objections to relocating to Los Angeles to be with Tiffany. However, he is better at planning than at execution, and he has no idea how to actually go about making the move. At home one evening in new York, they decide to share a Tantric ritual. You can see Tiffany and Grant’s Erotic Playsheets on the following pages.

Tiffany and Grant show each other their playsheets. They laugh at the obvious differences in their needs and desires. It only takes a few minutes of loving negotiation to arrive at a ritual that will satisfy them both. They begin by setting the stage. They light candles and gather massage supplies, glasses of water, and some fruit. Tiffany puts soft, pretty pillows on the floor and dresses herself in a colorful sarong while Grant changes into his leather shorts. They put music by Vangelis, Enigma, and Stan Getz on the CD player and set the play to random.

Tiffany’s Erotic Playsheet

Describe your feelings and desires at this moment.

I am feeling:
Excited, scared.

The chakras I am most aware of are:
Root and sex chakras.

The feelings in those chakras are:
Horny, urgent.

I definitely want:
To fuck.

I definitely don’t want:
Any BDSM.

By the end of this ritual, I would like to feel:
Softer, gentler, more open.

My intention is: To
bring my sexual energy up into my heart and my third eye. To open up and activate my heart and my intuition.

Right now, I want to use the following techniques and props:

Breath:
Heart Breath and Breath of fire.

Breath orgasm technique:
None.

Erotic activity:
Partner sex.

Cock massage strokes:
N/A.

Position to fuck in:
Any.

Pussy massage strokes: G-spot
strokes, rock around the clit clock, divine drumming.

Ritual attire: S
ilk sarong, but not for long!

Ritual style:
Soft, intimate.

Sensation-producing devices:
fingers and cock.

Sex toys:
None.

Sounds: Mus
ic that’s big and dramatic and a bit otherworldly.

Visualization:
Hot fire moving into my heart and upper chakras and cool water flowing down into my Lower chakras.

Sensations I’d like to feel:
Stroking, sensual.

Grant’s Erotic Playsheet

Describe your feelings and desires at this moment.

I am feeling:
Confused, frightened.

The chakras I am most aware of are:
Throat and third eye.

The feelings in those chakras are:
My throat feels tight and I have a headache.

I definitely want:
To be blindfolded and restrained.

I definitely don’t want:
Any pain.

By the end of
this ritual, I would like to feel: S
tronger, grounded, more in my body.

My
intention is:
To feel my entire body.

Right now, I want to use the following techniques and props:

Breath:
Bottom Breath and Heart Breath.

Breath orgasm technique:
Clench and Hold.

Erotic activity:
Partner sex.

Cock massage strokes:
fire, rainbow rub, twist and shout, rock around the cock clock.

Position to fuck in:
Tiffany on top.

Pussy massage strokes:
N/A.

Ritual attire:
My leather shorts.

Ritual style:
Don’t know.

Sensation-producing devices:
Mouth, hands, pussy.

Sex toys:
None.

Sounds:
Jazz or instrumental.

Visualization:
My sexual energy is coming into my cock from a root that extends into the hot molten center of the earth.

Sensations I’d like to feel:
Tiffany’s mouth on my cock.

To chill out, both do ten minutes of the shaking section of the Exhilaration Meditation with their eyes closed. For their warm up, they give each other grounding hugs. To come together, they sit facing each other on the floor. After a couple of minutes of eye gazing, each shares the things they are mad, sad, glad, or scared about while the other listens silently. They follow this with the Pose of Giving and Receiving. Tiffany receives first. On some of the strokes, Grant uses a feather and a bit of fur instead of his fingers. When it is Grant’s turn to receive, Tiffany blindfolds him and ties his hands in front of him. She feeds him, teasing him with each bite. She pauses, making him wonder and wait for what will come next. She softly strokes his head and neck, then rakes her fingernails down his arms and onto his thighs.