Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century (46 page)

Read Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century Online

Authors: Barbara Carrellas

Tags: #Self-Help, #Sexual Instruction

BOOK: Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century
3.27Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
* Commit to your sexual pleasure, your sexual energy, and your orgasm.
* As you breathe, Kegel, fuck, or flog, visualize your intention to know death better.
* You may visualize briefly stepping out of your body, seeing yourself as spirit, or becoming peace or silence or a part of All That Is.
* You may visualize being embraced by God/dess or even kissing Death on the lips.
* At the point of orgasm, let go as completely as you can. Release your visualization. Let your body go, your mind go, your emotions go.
* Do nothing, plan nothing, be nothing. Let death happen to you in whatever form it chooses to take.
* Make no judgments about what happens.

My other favorite death meditation is energetically quite different. It is done with a partner. One of you will “die” and the other will witness the “death.” If you are the one who is “dying,” lie down flat on your back in the yoga corpse pose with your arms and legs extended and relaxed. Your partner sits on the floor next to you and just witnesses. The rest is simple: all you do is die. How do you die? Well, that’s what you discover in the course of the meditation. Your breath may get shallow, you may have
visions; everyone’s method of death and experience of dying is different. And that’s the point. There is no one way to die. You may find that dying is very easy for you; you may find it very difficult. That is also appropriate. This meditation is not about who dies better, faster, or more easily. It’s about opening yourself up to a closer, healthier relationship with death.

If you are the witnessing partner in this meditation, try to keep your eyes open or partially open most of the time. Stay present with your partner. Even though you are only witnessing, keep in mind that witnessing death is in and of itself a powerful experience. As a witness, you too may experience visions; your partner’s face may appear to change. You may feel emotional; it may bring up memories or visions or feelings about the death of a loved one. If you believe in past lives, you may even experience some of your own deaths.

It is said that only through death do we really know life. Each time you perform a death meditation, you are likely to discover a new aspect of death. Every time you embrace death a bit more tightly, your delight in life expands proportionately.

As I am sure you realize by now, Tantra is about far more than sex. In Tantra, all worldly activities are opportunities to experience the divine, especially when they are approached with consciousness and intention. Sex is simply one particularly delightful and powerful way to tap into the pleasures and desires that permeate the entire universe. As you dive totally into each present moment in sex, you tap into universal ecstasy. Soon you will be able to make that same ecstatic connection in other areas of your life. When you live Tantrically, you live with love and passion for all of life, and with a consistent, blissful connection to All That Is and All That You Are.

References

Albury, Kath.
Yes Means Yes: Getting Explicit about Heterosex
. Crows Nest, NSW, Australia: Allen & Unwin, 2002.
Alder, Dr. Harry.
Neuro Linguistic Programming: The Art and Science of Getting What You Want
. London: Judy Piatkus, 1994.
Allen, Marcus.
Tantra for the West: A Guide to Personal Freedom
. San Rafael, CA: New World Library, 1981.
Anand, Margo.
The Art of Sexual Ecstasy: The Path of Sacred Sexuality for Western Lovers
. Los Angeles: Jeremy P. Tarcher, 1989.
Anderson, Bruce.
Tantra for Gay Men
. Los Angeles: Alyson Publications, 2002.
Bornstein, Kate.
Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women, and the Rest of Us
. New York: Routledge, 1994.
————. My Gender Workbook: How to Become a Real Man, a Real Woman, the Real You, or Something Else Entirely
. New York: Routledge, 1998.
Brame, Gloria G., William Brame, and Jon Jacobs.
Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance & Submission
. New York: Villard, 1993.
Brauer, Alan P., MD, and Donna J. Brauer.
ESO: How You and Your Lover Can Give Each Other Hours of Extended Sexual Orgasm
. New York: Warner Books, 1983.
Chia, Mantak, and Douglas Abrams Arava.
The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know
. New York: HarperCollins, 1996.
Chia, Mantak, and Maneewan Chia.
Healing Love through the Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy
. Huntington, NY: Healing Tao Books, 1986.
Chia, Mantak, Maneewan Chia, Douglas Abrams, and Rachel Abrams, MD.
The Multi-Orgasmic Couple: Sexual Secrets Every Couple Should Know
. New York: HarperCollins, 2000.
Chinmoy, Sri.
Kundalini: The Mother-Power
. Jamaica, NY: Agni Press, 1974.
Clow, Barbara Hand.
Liquid Light of Sex: Understanding Your Key Life Passages
. Rochester, VT: Bear & Company, 1996.
Dass, Ram.
Still Here: Embracing Aging, Changing, and Dying
. New York: Riverhead Books, 2000.
Dodson, Betty.
Orgasms for Two: The Joy of Partnersex
. New York: Harmony Books, 2002.
————.
Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving
. New York: Crown Publishing Group, 1996.
Easton, Dossie, and Catherine Liszt.
The Topping Book: Or, Getting Good At Being Bad
. San Francisco: Greenery Press, 1995.
————. The Bottoming Book: Or, How to Get Terrible Things Done to You by Wonderful People
. San Francisco: Greenery Press, 1994.
Feuerstein, Georg.
Enlightened Sexuality: Living the Vision of the Erotic Spirit
. Freedom, CA: Crossing Press, 1989.
————. Sacred Sexuality: Living the Vision of the Erotic Spirit
. New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Perigee Books, 1993.
————. “Tantrism and Neotantrism.”
Moksha Journal
(
www.santosha.com/moksha/tantrism1.html
), 1996.
Garrison, Omar.
Tantra: The Yoga of Sex
. New York: Harmony Books, 1964.
Gay Men’s Health Crisis. “Making Your Own Decisions, Frequently Asked Questions—and Some Answers—about Gay Sex.”
GMHC
(
www.gmhc.org
), 1995–2002.
Geba, Bruno Hans.
Breathe Away Your Tension: An Introduction to Gestalt Body Awareness Therapy
. New York: Random House, 1977.
Gold, E. J., and Cybele Gold.
Tantric Sex
. Playa Del Rey, CA: Peak Skill Publishing, 1988.
Guy, David.
The Red Thread of Passion: Spirituality and the Paradox of Sex
. Boston, MA: Shambala Publications, 1999.
Hagen, Steve.
Buddhism Plain and Simple
. New York: Broadway Books, 1998.
Hanley, Jesse Lynn, MD, and Nancy Deville.
Tired of Being Tired
. New York: G. P. Putnam’s Sons, 2001.
Hawkins, David R., MD.
Power vs. Force
. Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, 2002.
Hay, Louise L.
You Can Heal Your Life
. Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, 2004.
Henderson, Julie.
The Lover Within
. Barrytown, NY: Station Hill Press, 1987.
Henes, Donna. “On Being Prepared.”
Always in Season: Living in Sync with the Cycle
13 (Winter 2001).
Hutchins, Loraine. “Erotic Rites: A Cultural Analysis of Contemporary U.S. Sacred Sexuality Traditions and Trends.” PhD diss., Union Institute Graduate College, 2001.
Joannides, Paul.
Guide to Getting It On!
Waldport, OR: Goofy Foot Press, 2000.
Johnson, Robert A.
Ecstasy: Understanding the Psychology of Joy. San
Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1987.
————.
Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche
. San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1991.
Jwala.
Sacred Sex: Ecstatic Techniques for Empowering Relationships
. San Rafael, CA: Mandala, 1993.
Kaufman, Miriam, MD, Cory Silverberg, and Fran Odette.
The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability
. San Francisco: Cleis Press, 2003.
Khalsa, Shakta Kaur.
K.I.S.S. Guide to Yoga
. New York: DK Publishing, 2001.
Kitzinger, Sheila.
Woman’s Experience of Sex
. London: Penguin Books, 1983.
Lowen, Alexander, MD, and Leslie Lowen.
The Way to Vibrant Health: A Manual of Bioenergetic Exercises
. New York: Harper & Row, 1977.
Magee, Mike. “Sexuality in the Tantrik Tradition.”
Shiva Shakti Mandalam
(
www.shivashakti.com
), 1995.
Montano, Linda M. “Chakra Prayers.”
7 Years of Living Art + Another 7 Years of Living Art = 14 Years of Living Art
(www.bobsart.org/montano/living_art/index.html). 1984–1998.
Myss, Caroline, PhD.
Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing
. New York: Harmony Books, 1996.
Newman, Felice.
The Whole Lesbian Sex Book
. San Francisco: Cleis Press, 2002.
Osho.
The Book of Secrets
. New York: St. Martin’s Griffin, 1998.
————.
Meditation: The First and Last Freedom
. New York: St. Martin’s Griffin, 1996.
————.
The Tantra Experience
. Poona, India: Rebel Publishing House, 1994.
————.
Tantric Transformation
. Poona, India: Rebel Publishing House, 1994.
Ramer, Andrew.
Two Flutes Playing: Spiritual Love/Sacred Sex
. Oakland, CA: Body Electric Publishing, 1990.
Ramsdale, David and Ellen.
Sexual Energy Ecstasy: A Practical Guide to Lovemaking Secrets of the East and West
. Playa Del Rey, CA: Peak Skill Publishing, 1991.
Reich, Wilhelm.
The Function of the Orgasm: Sex-Economic Problems of Biological Energy
. New York: Farrar, Strauss and Giroux, 1973.
Rush, Anne Kent.
Getting Clear: Body Work for Women
. New York: Random House, 1973; Berkeley, CA: Bookworks, 1973.
Schnarch, David, PhD.
Resurrecting Sex: Resolving Sexual Problems and Rejuvenating Your Relationship
. New York: HarperCollins, 2002.
Selby, John.
Peak Sexual Experience
. New York: Warner Books, 1992.
Semans, Anne, and Cathy Winks.
The Woman’s Guide to Sex on the Web
. San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1999.
Sky, Michael.
Breathing: Expanding Your Power & Energy
. Santa Fe, NM: Bear & Company, 1990.
Society for Human Sexuality. “Guide to Safer Sex (Concise).” Society for Human Sexuality (
www.sexuality.org/concise.html
),
2002
.
Sunyata, and Bodhi Avinasha.
Jewel in the Lotus: The Sexual Path to Higher Consciousness
. San Francisco: Kriya Jyoti Tantra Society, 1987.
Tannahill, Reay.
Sex in History
. Chelsea, MI: Scarborough House, 1992.
Tunneshende, Merilyn.
Don Juan and the Art of Sexual Energy: The Rainbow Serpent of the Toltecs
. Rochester, VT: Bear & Company, 2001.
Winks, Cathy, and Anne Semans.
The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex
. San Francisco: Cleis Press, 2002.
Woods, Margo.
Masturbation, Tantra and Self Love
. San Diego: Omphaloskepsis Press, 1981.

Resources

Books

BDSM

GLBTQ

MASSAGE

MEDITATION

MIND, BODY, AND SPIRIT

SEX GUIDES AND HOW-TO BOOKS

TANTRA, TAO, AND SACRED SEX

Videos & DVDs

Music

DRAMATIC MUSIC

Other books

The Emperor by Cynthia Harrod-Eagles
Lustfully Ever After by Kristina Wright
Studio Sex by Liza Marklund
In America by Susan Sontag
Dream New Dreams by Jai Pausch
Bound by Suggestion by LL Bartlett
Jamestown by Matthew Sharpe
The Amphiblets by Oghenegweke, Helen