Vagina Insanity (4 page)

The fact was that, they had the habit of submitting
themselves to injustice. Months later, my brother also commented
saying that kidnapping is not unusual.

He said, ‘It happens.’

Then I asked, ‘If I were your sister, would you say
the same?’

I asked him with caps-lock tone that made his mouth
shut. The stupidity was not only in the criminals or the family who
kidnapped me; the stupidity was and is in the society. Some people
will see this as an attempt to justify or excuse comments that are
simply inexcusable. The issue that I raise here humanity cannot
afford to ignore otherwise it will distort human existence.
Understanding this reality requires a reminder of what kind of
culture prevails there. The past isn't dead and buried. In fact, it
isn't even past. We do not need to recite here the history of
injustice in the country. But we do need to remind ourselves that
so many of the disparities that exist in the country are gifted to
the new generation from the earlier one.

The hogwash ceremony had already begun. The women had
started singing folk songs and the rituals got into process. It was
going to be midnight. While sitting inside, I looked above though a
hole in the thatch. The one thing I noticed – the sky was getting
cloudier. The process had started in a small open space surrounded
with some huts. I thought – Just for saying they are Brahmins, the
highest caste of Hinduism. But they are doing the work of beasts.
Who gave them the designation of Brahmin? And if this is
Brahmanism, which is considered the creator of morals and ethics of
Hindu religion, then it is barbarous satanic cult which is letting
the bastardization of marriage happen.

“When richness breaks a rule, it is called a
reformation. When poverty breaks a rule, it is called a crime.”

Chapter Seven

“If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will
have to settle for the ordinary.” –Jim Rohn

The girl was brought to the altar and it was my turn
to go. I heard the call of the pundit. The same two sons of the
bitches came to take me there. I sat on the ground in a small piece
of sheet beside the girl. The pundit started speaking mantras, and
with a complete desperation I turned my eyes to look at the blue
heaven again.

As I was looking at the sky, I felt a small drop of
rain fallen on my tear-soaked cheek. The people were busy into the
process and the sky was getting ready to pouring rain. Just then, I
heard a thunder roaring like giving a signal of jinx, and within a
minute it started raining. They had to shift the things to other
place and wait for the rain to stop. It continued raining for an
hour and they couldn’t do anything except wait. The rain went heavy
and then heavier. It discouraged them to continue the process in
the open space. Leaving all half-processed, they got busy making
the arrangement at another place. By the time it was morning one
o’clock which is considered night one o’clock for some ignorance.
They decided to wait until the rain stop. I was pushed into another
room and sat on a mat. The girl I was to marry also sat beside me
not realizing my imbalanced state of mind. She tried to open a
conversation, but I couldn’t do anything except crying. She sat
beside me hoping I would be consoled, but I was frozen with the
traumatizing things around that my eyes were gawking in fear. I was
just trying to keep my ears out of the window to hear the sound of
raindrops. It was still raining.

My mind cultivated an idea!

The moment I thought of that, the heart-beat
increased and blood started running faster. I thought of making an
excuse to go to the loo because that was the only possibility that
could draw me a little away from their enclosure. That was the only
time when they would leave me for a second or stand a few steps
behind.

A few steps, I recollected again!

Otherwise, they were keeping themselves so closed to
me that for stretching my hand also I had to ask for their
permission. I realized it was going to be a
never-forget-never-forgive accident of my life, and I had to do
that as a sinking man catches a straw. I looked through the window
and saw the rain was still pouring. Untangling the spiraling web of
vicious lies and well planed deceit, I decided to put my life in
danger in an attempt to escape from there. Perhaps that was the
right moment to do something. I told the girl that I wanted to go
out to pee. They allowed because the place was not too far. She
came behind for a few steps and behind her there were three other
men standing like watchdogs – the real sons of the bitch. I was led
just fifty steps far to a half-open thatched place. I was sure as
the ceremony was already begun, and they had observed me calm and
cool, so they would not be carrying guns at that moment. And I
realized also that the kidnappers were gone to sleep. There was no
possibility of water to be discharged from the body in the fear,
hate and abhorrence. I pulled my innerwear down pretending to have
a leak and turned my head behind to see the four watchmen of hell.
The girl bent her face down and the men were also looking at some
other direction. Feeling exasperated, heaving between devil and
deep sea, I looked at them a second time in a silent fury.

Just then,

The mind signaled the feet to quiver. Within a
friction of a second I pulled my U wear up moved the heel to run. I
took a jump to get away from them in a moment. There was a first
six-foot wall that I jumped over, and then the other two in next
five seconds. And then I started running as blindly as I could.
First noise and then two gun-fires I heard behind but I was safe.
And I was safe until I was breathing. And if I was breathing, I had
to keep running. A few hooligans ran behind, but the darkness with
heavy rain couldn’t help them find the way that I had paced
back.

I was trembling in fear as if fighting brass-monkey
weather in the fright of getting shot down. The bushes, the thorns,
the dogs and the trees, I had to pass on all in a continuous run
for twenty minutes. With the skin torn, head hurt, leg bleeding and
heart crying, I was challenging death with an effort to change the
inevitability. Breathless and bewildered, exasperated and shocked,
angry and upset, I reached the same national highway – the Assam
Road highway, which was filled with trucks moving on. The traffic
of trucks can be seen round the clock. Suddenly I came in front of
a slow moving truck, and the driver gave me the lift.

I had never imagined the time would come up with that
humiliation to unlock my chastity-belt. Leaving the people behind
to weep for their own guilt, I reached my home at morning five
o’clock. I met my mother and I spoke to her for just ten minutes.
The heart filled with hatred and mind with fear did not let me stay
any longer. I left for Bokaro Steel City where my elder brother
lived. The city is located in Jharkhand state. My brother sheltered
me for a year where I worked hard to improve English and got a job
for a newspaper as a sub-editor. After a year, seeing my
communication skill improved, my maternal uncle took me to the U.S.
for a short period of time, where I learnt French and Spanish and
taught some students.

My freedom and hope made my way ahead and the trials
and triumphs helped me rebuild my life. I become a possibilitarian,
no matter how dark things seemed to be or actually were, I raised
my sights and saw the possibilities. The difference between success
and failure is often not who has the most money, or the best
education: it is motivation. Ninety-nine percent of the failures
come from people who have the habit of making excuses. A pessimist
sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the
opportunity in every difficulty. In the most segregated hour of
life also I kept myself productive and didn’t let myself get
distracted from solving problems. Starting from the scratch, trying
not to fall in the chasm of misunderstanding, the opportunity began
to come as a zero sum game, in which my dreams came at my expense,
but I often reminded myself that I had set myself a difficult task,
and I would succeed if I persevere. I would have a joy in
overcoming obstacles and delight in climbing rugged paths.

“Improve yourself and you will find that the world is
less by a rascal.” –Plato

Chapter Eight

“Some people change themselves as per the frame of
time. Some people make the frame itself changed.” –Arabic
saying

Pain and pleasure, chaos and harmony, opportunity and
checkmate, defeat and victory, everything I was experiencing in my
life. Though it is a fact that whatever you scramble in this world
is just a fleeting show, but the seed of wisdom which was
germinating in my soul was driving me to fight the incursions of
evils at every juncture. At every crossroad I waited till I could
visualize any way of perspicuous grandeur.

I wasn’t willing to come back to India, but the
treatment I was receiving from my benefactor was corroborating my
dejection. That doesn’t mean America was Utopia to me. My yellow
peril was vanishing out living with vainglorious, sacrilegious, and
zombies Americans and my tuft-hunting attitude was not serving any
purpose but encountering third-degree circumstances.

In 2001, when I was in America, 9/11 terror attack
shook the entire world. If we look back into how-and-why factor, we
find that before this attack, Muslim power was wreaking global
chaos and there was no one to stand against. At that time, America
was conceptualizing about Trojan horse in the state of suspended
animation. The half of the world knows that Americans themselves
orchestrated the World Trade Center attack and killed so many
innocent people. And they engraved this truth because of the first
reason that they had to defeat Muslim power, and second, the U.S.
government had to engage the people in war to reverse their
declining economy. American lifestyle is so expensive that they
always need a war so that they can confiscate the wealth of other
countries to compensate their own loss. The Muslim fundamentalists
were left dumbfounded seeing the catastrophic trick played by the
Americans sitting in the Whitehouse. Their vouchsafe generosity but
coup d’état mentality was for no good but just the operation
false-flag to get a sordid and fallacious victory leaving many
hearts withered. On the ground of political nemesis, the event of
the 11th September 2001 affected the whole world for almost a
decade. All of a sudden, the news of the attack on the twin towers
was broadcast using numerous footages of the incident. Almost all
governments and known figures strongly condemned the incident. But
then a propaganda machine came into full force; it was implied that
the whole world was exposed to a huge danger, namely terrorism, and
that the only way to save the world would be to deploy forces into
Afghanistan. Eventually Afghanistan and, shortly thereafter, Iraq
were occupied. It was said that some three thousand people were
killed on September 11th, for which we are all very saddened. Yet,
up until now, in Afghanistan and Iraq hundreds of thousands of
people have been killed, millions wounded and displaced and the
conflict is still going on and expanding.

In identifying those responsible for the attack,
there were three viewpoints. That a very powerful and complex
terrorist group, able to successfully cross all layers of the
American intelligence and security, carried out the attack. This is
the main viewpoint advocated by American statesmen. But the truth
was that that some segments within the U.S. government orchestrated
the attack to save the Zionist regime. The majority of the American
people as well as other nations and politicians agree with this
view. It was carried out by a terrorist group but the American
government supported and took advantage of the situation.

The sin of today is the fashion of tomorrow!

The crime taking place anywhere is a danger of
everywhere. After seven years of 9/11, the same kind of orchestra
took place in India when the terrorists attacked Hotel Taj and
Oberoi in Mumbai. The Indian politicians hired Pakistani
mercenaries to kill so many innocent Indians just for their
political gratification. The government has not yet punished one
terrorist who was caught bloody handed, because he has threatened
the government that if he is killed, he would reveal all the
secrets. The most despising secrets of the fifth column who caused
a psychological attack on humanity!

The back-seated prime-minister Sonia Gandhi hasn’t
been able to punish the assassins of her husband yet because her
government is backed up by the same people who killed Rajeev
Gandhi. A fifth standard educated Italian girl Antonia Maino who
worked as a waitress and sales executive in the USA and UK, holding
a fake degree in English of Cambridge University cannot do more
than what she is doing. And if you want to know about her son, he
is also making big stories. He has been caught in three cocaine
cases outside India, and his girlfriend is the daughter of a
Columbian drug mafia, and he uses his name Raul Vinci outside India
holding dual passport. Wow! I think Hitler was not wrong when he
said – Let them be ruled over who don’t know how to rule. These
so-called Gandhis have taught us enough to rule. That is why the
education minister of the government is taking the examination of
tenth standard.

Sometimes it feels that the world is such a loop, as
much you untie so much it gets complicated. I was trying to resolve
the complication of my life not knowing that the wind was blowing
against me.