Vampires Need Not...Apply? (25 page)

But isn’t Antonio an…?

Oh no. No!

“So, Antonio is really your…” She cleared her throat. “… Son?”

“Yes. But he’s not a true incubus.”

Oh, thank heavens. I’m still getting over the whole liking vampires thing.

“My offspring are mostly human,” he explained, “with just enough of my DNA to provide my light a happy safe home for a while. Cimil was also kind enough to throw in some magic so my male offspring continue to look like Francisco. I know
you
enjoyed my face, so I kept it for you.”

Oh, yippee.
“You wouldn’t happen to want to tell me how you do it?”
Because I’m so going to put an end to your shenanigans.

“No.”

This time, she knew he told the truth; demons loved to keep secrets.

“How about giving me some reason not to Tweet my peeps the deets?” she asked. “I could have your sons locked up and prevent you from making more Franciscitos. When your current body goes, you’ll have nowhere to hide.”

He chuckled with victorious, evil glee. “Do you really think Antonio and Franco are my only children? I have others,
many
others; although they are female—not my preference—but I could survive, if need be.”

“Please don’t tell me your daughters also look like Francisco because that would be so very wrong.”

“Ixtab, I’m wounded. Do you truly believe I am
that
cruel?” the incubus asked.

“Um. Yeaaah,” she replied. “You’re a demon. Remember?”

Hack, hack. “Excellent point,” he replied.

Well, nothing she could do about a bunch of ugly, burly, part-incubus chicks running around the planet, although she was curious to see what a family reunion might look like.

Ixtab shivered.

In any case… dang it! This demon was good at risk mitigation. It was almost like he’d anticipated this.

Cimil!
“Cimil knew this would happen and warned you, didn’t she?” Ixtab asked.

“No.” His eyes glowed with psycho joy.

Ugh. He just lied again.

Hate. Demons. Hate them.

“I understand why you might be angry with me,” he said, “but know, after you ‘killed’ me, I couldn’t not come to you and reveal myself even though this is what I wanted. I loved you—I still love you. And Cimil promised if I did as she asked and remained patient, this joyous day would come.”

“This day? As in… our happy reunion?”
Ick, ick, ick… is he serious?

He nodded eagerly. “Yes. Fate has brought us together, Ixtab. And now it is time for us to be happy.”

“But you drain the life from young women for food. Sometimes you screw them as an appetizer. Why would I want to be with you?”

“Oh, now,” he replied. Hack, hack, gurgle. “Is it really so terrible that I enjoy the pleasures of the flesh or that I must feed to survive? You didn’t seem to even notice before.”

Ixtab gasped. Oh, gods, what a damned fool she’d been! The day before she killed Francisco—
errr
—killed the possessed Francisco, she’d gone with him to a convent to visit the sick. She’d thought Francisco had been comforting those poor dying souls when in fact he’d been sucking the lives from them to feed. How could she not have noticed what was going on?

Perhaps because you were so desperate for love that you didn’t want to see it.
She had been just as lonely then as she was now.

“I love you for who you are, my dear g-g-goddess.” Hack, gurgle. “I have no delusions of your sainthood and know every one of your dirty little secrets.” He whispered, “I even know the name of every male you’ve killed—by accident, of course.”

“How?”

“I’ve kept an eye on you all these years, waiting for this day. And know, I do not look down upon you. I never could; you and I are alike. We both kill because it is in our nature, our role in the Universe.”

How dare he say that! Ixtab wanted to punch the old, shriveled goat in his decrepit face. “I don’t enjoy hurting people like you do—Okay, the evil bastards, yes. They’re super fun to kill. But not the others.”

Ixtab’s mind circulated around the multitude of loose strings while the conversation played out. She knew there was so, so, so much more to this story. First, this evil bastard was about to die. So that meant he’d be going to a new body, preferably a male one.
Antonio or his brother Franco.

Oh no.

She needed to think this through carefully. Very carefully. Time to retreat and regroup. “I have to go.”

“Are you coming back?” he asked.

She pressed her hands to her temples. “I-I don’t know.”

“Just answer me this, Ixtab. Why are you here? Why, after all this time, has fate brought us together again?”

Because you are a disgusting pig, your time has come to pay for your crimes, and this goddess has got your number?

“Enlighten me?” she replied sweetly.

“The Universe led you to the tablet and my son. He led you to me. We are meant to be.”

Think carefully. Show nothing.

She nodded slowly. “I’ve been suffering for two centuries because of your death and now I find you alive. It’s a bit overwhelming. I need time to think.” She turned to leave and reached for the door. “By the way, when will you make the change to your new body?”

“My heart grows weaker by the moment. Not long now. And then I will be young and strong again.”

And likely looking for your next demon baby momma.
“One question. Why wait until your body gives out? I mean, why not just kill yourself and do it sooner?” Because… ick! He looked awful—patches of missing hair, dark spots on his skin, hazed-over irises. Not that she cared, but surely he did.

He shook his crooked, wrinkled finger in the air. “You always were smart, my dear Ixtab.”

Was that a string of drool flowing from the corner of his mouth?

Vampires rock. Reason number two: they never get old and drool on themselves.

“Cimil advised,” he explained, “I would meet my demise if I took any shortcuts. My death must be due to natural or supernatural causes.”

Interesting…
“And what happens to your son when you take his body?”

The old demon shrugged. “His soul goes…
out
.” He flicked his wrist casually, as if he didn’t know and didn’t care.

Vampires rock. Reason number three: they don’t eject people’s souls from their bodies and take them over like horrible parasitic extraterrestrials.

Ixtab’s plastic cackle bounced off the walls. “Of course. Stupid mortal souls—they are so weak and disgusting. Who cares what happens to them?” Ixtab was extremely grateful for her veil because it hid the panic in her eyes. This had to be a dream.

Dreams only happen to mortals. You, my dear goddess, have just had your entire reality chewed on and spit out like a flavorless wad of gum.

Panting, Ixtab found Antonio sitting on a bench in the garden, gazing pensively at the cloudless night. “Oh, thank heavens! Kirstie said I’d find you here.” Ixtab took a seat beside him. “At least I think she was talking to me. It could’ve been the wall. It’s hard to tell which eye is her good one. And why does she always smell like borscht?”

“You came out here to talk about the maid’s wandering eye and her addiction to beets?” Antonio’s gaze didn’t waver from the starlit sky.

“No. I came out for this…” Ixtab socked him three times in the arm, but it had zero impact. “Why didn’t you tell me your father is el Trauco, Latin America’s most infamous incubus?”

“And that would have changed… what?” he said calmly.

“Well, well… we could’ve—I’m not sure.”

“
Exactamente.
It would’ve changed nothing. Killing or locking him away solves nothing.”

“That’s why you were looking for the tablet, wasn’t it?” she asked.

He nodded yes.

Of course, he wanted to get rid of the demon and send him far, far away to another dimension, and the tablet was the key.

Oh, gods.
“You should have told me.” Ixtab shook her head.

“This is my fight,” he said coldly. “No one else’s.”

“You couldn’t be more godsdamned wrong. This mess started long before you were even born.”

“Doesn’t matter when it started, or by whom, because I’m going to finish it.” He looked at Ixtab and the rage in his eyes made her do a double take.
Pita chips! That sure is one hell of a peeved vampire!
She could only imagine the horrible things Antonio had been subjected to.
Poor, poor man.

“I’m guessing incubi don’t get father-of-the-year awards,” she said.

“No. When I was twenty-two, I brought my girlfriend, Vicki, home for a visit. She’d been begging me for months to visit the vineyard. Though I hated seeing my father—he was always such a coldhearted bastard—I figured we’d barely see him. He was rarely around growing up, or ever. Unfortunately, he was home for the weekend. That night, when I woke, Vicki wasn’t in bed. It didn’t take me long to find her; I followed the sounds to his study, where he was sucking the life from her body…” Antonio looked away. “Half out of my mind, I attacked and tried to save her, but it was too late. I don’t know if it was the need to brag or that he enjoyed watching me suffer, but that’s when he told me everything: how he’d done the same to my mother, how my brother and I were merely potential hosts for his next life… So I made a deal. He would take me so that Franco could live, and I would keep his secret—even from my brother.”

“So, you began searching for the tablet?” Ixtab said.

“I hoped to send the demon somewhere else before my time ran out. Then all this happened—I was blinded, there was you, and then I became a vampire, removing me from the running to be a host for my father. I failed my brother in the worst possible way.”

Lightbulb!
“Your father can’t use your body because you’ve changed?”

“Vampires need not apply,” he said starkly.

It all made so much sense now. Poor, poor Antonio. What had she done?

“That’s why you were so upset with me after the transformation,” she said.

He looked at her, his beautiful eyes filled with regret. “I’m sorry for how I treated you; it wasn’t your fault I ended up a vampire. At the time, however, I knew it would mean my brother’s life—he’s the runner-up.”

Well, he’d just made opening the portal that much more essential. This demon wasn’t going to get his icky incu-paws on another soul if she had anything to do with it.

“I’m so sorry, Antonio.” She reached out and stroked his arm. It felt so damned good. “I wonder if this explains why I can touch you—”
And why you’re hung like a rhino and the ladies can’t seem to keep their frigging hands off of you…
“Incubus feed off the life force of others. Usually they prefer sexual energy, but who knows? You had some of my light inside you when you turned, you’re a vampire with a little extra something… there could be a million reasons for how you ended up like you did.”

Or just one: This was all meant to happen. You’re meant to be mine.

He shrugged. “I’ve always eaten human food. Until I turned, that is. Then I stopped eating.”

No. He hadn’t stopped eating, she realized. “Your hunger goes away when I touch you. Yes?”

He nodded. “Yes. Among other things,” he said suggestively.

Oh, she so very much wanted to ask about the “other things,” but now was not the time to go there, given they had serious issues to navigate. At least, however, the mystery of Antonio’s appetite was no longer one of them. He’d been gobbling all of her dark energy, which is why he left her feeling goddamned fantastic every time she touched him! That had to be the reason.

“It’s so ironic when you think about it. Here you are thriving from my touch, but it killed your father,” she said, thinking aloud.
Yes, must be something to do with his turning.

Rage sparked in Antonio’s eyes.

“What? What did I say?” she asked.

“He was the one you… lo-lo-loved and killed? My father! That disgusting, heartless prick was
your
Francisco?”

Uh-oh.
Hadn’t she made that clear already?
Ugh. Perhaps I didn’t.
“Um. Yes? But let me explain,” she said. “I thought he was someone—”

“Stop. I don’t want to hear it.”

Gods dammit. Why did he always shut her down like that? “It’s important you know the truth.”

“Right now, nothing matters more than opening that portal. I need to get the woman out.”

Oh, the woman
… Did he truly believe some stranger was the one for him? Didn’t he feel the powerful connection between them? Now that she thought about it, actually, after she’d touched him that very first time in the hospital, it seemed a permanent connection had formed. She continued tasting him on her tongue, his energy. She continued filling with his frustration and despair even without a physical connection.

Ixtab’s mind reeled. “You really”—the words stuck for a moment—“want her?”

“Once she’s out, she can help us understand how to use the tablet to get to your men. When that’s done, I’ll make sure my father goes in.”

His reply hadn’t given her the answer she wanted, but maybe he was simply trying to spare her feelings. Or maybe he was peeved because he’d just found out she had a past with his father. Of course, he didn’t know the full story.

Oh, gods. Who can blame him for being upset? What a train wreck.
“Antonio, I know everything feels like an episode of
Myrtle Manor
, only not very funny, but I promise I’ll do everything I can to help you.”

“As I said, the woman will know what to do,” he said without even a hint of doubt.

Oh, and I suppose she walks on water and shoots rainbows from her ass like Cimil’s unicorn!
“And you know all this how?”

“She says so in my dreams.”

He dreams with her? Oh, gods… how can this be?

“Well… your plan
sucks
!” she said spitefully.

“Sucks?” he asked.

“It’s got so many holes, I could drive an incu
bus
through it.”

Antonio laughed.