Vanished (12 page)

He laughed, and the bite of steel slashed along her lower back.
Her back arched away from the bite of steel. She hissed in pain, driving her knife into his flesh. He winced, and Radek cut in, ripping her from Camter’s chest.

“She got you, Camter. Heart
stab beats a kidney removal.” Radek set her on her feet, and she sensed the satisfaction from Camter as he stood, a rivulet of blood flowing down his ribs.

“Hell, I’m the first to deal her any damage, I’d say that’s a victory.” He offered her his hand. “Blood sister, I’ll protect you until my last breath.”

She took his hand, shaking it with a nod. “Blood brother, I’ve got your back until my demise.” A ripple of whispers caught like wildfire through the crowd, halting as abruptly as they arose. She mirrored his motions as he wiped the blood from his knife along his wrist, leaving a crimson smear of her lifeblood on his flesh. They replaced their blades and he gave her a quick hug before scurrying off the mat.

The blazing pain up her back dulled, and she noticed the eyes of the men traveling past her. Her teeth clenched. The next person was ready. Without needing to size him up, she spun and launched herself at his core, knowing his weakness.

Radek caught her. She wound her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck. He froze, and her legs dropped free, yanking his head down with her weight. They fell back, her thighs parting to grip his hips and something flashed in her mind.

His reaction, obvious through the suit, terrified her. Her mind snapped to Kred’s face over her, and sh
e yelped. A knife stung in the side of her ribs, and she struck out. The knife left her, and hands clamped on her wrists, weight holding her immobile.

“Hey, you’re okay. It’s me, Radek.”

Despite the words, tears sprang into her eyes, flowing down her cheeks. Her teeth ground together so hard pain lanced through her jaw. She bucked, trying to unseat him, but he held firm. Her back, pressed into the mats, screamed as she arched, desperate to free herself from his vile touch. Pain slashed up through her, vicious memories snapping like rabid dogs in her mind.

A sharp voice cut into her terror, and the weight was gone
in an instant. She curled up, trying to fight back the tears and panic. A needle broke into her skin, and she glanced up into Farali’s concerned eyes. Heat and calm radiated from the shot to every inch of her, and she got to her feet, guided by the feline-like redhead.

Silence
surrounded them, and Papria followed, eyes on the ground, embarrassed and trembling. A door opened before them, and closed. Soft hands guided her to a comfortable chair.

They sat in silence for a while.

Farali broke the quiet with a soft voice. “This is a safe place. Anything you say here, stays here.”

Unable to control the reaction, Papria tensed, every muscle in her body clenching. “I’m fine.”

Farali didn’t answer, and instead, pulled out her data screen, tracing on the surface, before glancing back at her.

Her eyes swept the room. Assured of her exits, her glance returned to the redhead.

Farali hesitated, before speaking again. “You really kicked their asses. Who taught you to fight?”

“My father.” She clamped her mouth shut before more could come out. Farali traced something else on her screen, annoying Papria.

“How did your mother feel about that?” Farali’s sparkling green eyes found her over the screen.

“My mother died in medic training. Women aren’t welcome in male dominated jobs. Especially when they are mothers.” Papria looked away, refusing to voice the obvious; Farali was one of those women.

The motion of the redhead’s fingers along the screen snagged Papria’s attention again.

Farali
said, “We’re going to land soon.”

“That’s not a question,” Papria said, the abrupt change of topics startling her.

The redhead smiled. “I’m excited to touch down.”

“Me too. I’ve waite
d for this for a long time. If Daddy could see me now-“ She clamped her lips shut, refusing to acknowledge Farali’s quick scribble on the screen. Wishing she could read them, she glanced at her hands in her lap, her white locks tickling forward over her cheekbones.

Without missing a beat, Farali spoke again. “I’ve wanted this since I was a girl.”

“Me too. It was Daddy’s dream. But his heart gave out.”

“He’d be proud of you.”

Tears filled Papria’s eyes. “No, he wouldn’t. He’d have seen my trials and never spoken to me again. He’d be so ashamed I
allowed
that to happen, and when he found out the guys stole me away… he’d disown me.”

Farali didn’t say anything for a moment. “You didn’t “allow” anything to happen. You were drugged and overpowered. It wasn’t your fault.”

“No, I knew something wasn’t right. I was stupid. I fucked up. Rule one: everyone is an enemy until they save your life.” With the words, she lifted her hands, balling them into fists and brought them down on her knees. The brief flash of pain was so satisfying she almost missed Farali’s flinch.

“Papria, you had no way of knowing the council would ask
for such a horrific deed. Trials aren’t meant for that kind of abuse. If you spend your whole life believing everyone will turn on you, you’ll
make
it happen.”

Papria
ignored the last statement. “Yes, they are. The point of the trials is to break you. They did what they thought would break me.”

Farali paused, focused on Papria’s face. “And did they?”

Papria hung her head, hiding the tears that threatened to consume her. “I think so.”

“What’s broken about you?”

“I’m scared.”

“You put three guys down before that fear took over, though.” Farali’s eyes returned to her screen, her hand moving quickly as she scribbled.

“It was Radek.” The realization took her breath away.

“Why? What about him makes you feel vulnerable?”

“The way I feel about him.” The words burst forth, and Farali stopped, her eyes meeting Papria’s. Shocked at her admission, Papria captured a lock of hair and nibbled the end of it.

“This fear, was it so focused at the beginning?”

Papria lifted her eyes to the redhead, who jotted something before meeting her glance. Papria thought back. The first time… she’d been terrified of Radek. Then, it was the actions that scared her, the ripping of her suit. Then, again, when he’d caught her, refusing to let her fall the first time they’d sparred.

“Yes.
On him. And…” She fought the image of Zoltan holding her down out of her mind.

Farali didn’t press about the conjunction.
“Why?”

“He’s had that look in his eye. That mixture of protection and… something else.”

Farali looked back down, and Papria needed to explain further as the redhead scribbled more notes.

“I could tell, right way, that his need to protect me went deeper than the genetic predisposition. I think, on some level, his intentions scared me. Like, did he want me the way Kred did? Was he trying to get me to trust him so he could…” Shame washed over her.

Farali’s eyes darted to her face over the screen. “Has he ever shown that intent?”

“No, never. He’s been nothing but caring. He’s tried to get me to come talk to you, to face this. It made me mad that he kept pushing it. I told him to leave me alone, even.”

“Did he?”

“Yes, until I-“ Papria hesitated.

“This is all in confidence. He’ll never know what we talked about, nor will anyone else.”  Farali’s words eased some of Papria’s fear.

“Until I thought… I thought I was bleeding. I screamed, he came running.”

“You… thought you were bleeding?” Farali’s eye brows drew together.

Papria hung her head. “I was in the shower, and I looked down and thought I saw blood. I don’t know what happened.
But he came in, nervous, but worried. He made sure I was okay, and asked if I wanted him to stay, and I did. But he never did anything that scared me, even though I was vulnerable.”

Farali’s scribbling sped up, before she halted, meeting Papria’s scared glance. Papria couldn’t contain the words. “Am I crazy?”

“Because you thought you were bleeding?”

Papria nodded, a painful lump rising in her throat.

Farali answered. “The mind plays tricks on us, sometimes, especially after traumatic events.”

“Am I a terrible person for being so worried he’s going to hurt me?”

“We are designed to protect ourselves. There is no shame in a function you can’t control.” Farali lowered the screen and Papria tried to peek, but the redhead kept it tilted. A knock sounded at the door.

Farali inclined her head. “One moment, please.”

“Thank you for your time.” Papria got to her feet, torn between feeling better and worried she’d revealed so much.

“You made a lot of progress today.
I hope you see some benefit to our conversation, and I hope you come back.” Farali stood, smiling as she led Papria to the door.

“Thank you.” Papria opened the door to Radek,
his head hanging. She slipped past him, ignoring Farali’s goodbye and her greeting to Radek. A few quick skips ended in an all out sprint to the mess hall. Her footfalls echoed in the hallway. They sped up as she dashed down the steps into the dining area. She slid to a halt as she realized the empty room, shrouded in darkness, seemed more frightening than she expected.

She crept in, searching for her guns and suit. Unable to find them, she
turned to the stairs, ice needles pricking her body as she caught sight of Zoltan leaning against the wall.

“Flipped out on your boyfriend, huh?”

She studied the floor. “Please, don’t.” The energy needed to battle him just wasn’t in her. The tap of his footfalls prompted her to step back, but he halted with plenty of distance between them.

“I didn’t intend for this to happen to you. I didn’t know it would, I didn’t want this.” His gut-wrenching tone drew her gaze. She studied his jet colored eyes, her mind slipping to another time and place. As if sensing her guard dropping, he inched closer.

“I loved you, Papria, I’m not sure I could ever stop.”

Tears filled her eyes. “I can’t… you don’t understand. There is one of you, and that memory is tainted. I can’t fix it, and you can’t either.”

“Let me try.” The distance between them disappeared, his arms closing around her waist. She fought her demons, trying to let him in. Perhaps she owed him that.

“Remember the first time I saw you in a dress?” His murmur coaxed a grin from her.

“Remember my father’s face the first time you saw me in a dress?”

A laugh rumbled in his chest. “Actually, I don’t. The only thing I remember was your face. You didn’t expect me, and your mouth opened a little bit. That was the first time the need to kiss you attacked me.”

“I was so scared. You looked at me like you wanted to devour me.” Relaxing into his grip, she enjoyed the memories.

“Oh, you have no idea.” His voice deepened. He began to rock her back and forth, the delicate motions almost escaping her. “Remember the first time I kissed you?”
His heart thumped quicker in his chest, and she rested her head on him. Her smile grew.

“Yeah, you pinned me.” The image of him over her, his hair hanging in his eyes, his body pressing hers to the soft mat, flashed in her mind. He’d released her wrists to brace his elbows on next to her head, his eyes searching hers, so many questions crossing his face.

Her body turned to ice as his visage tightened. His brows drew together, his lips pressed flat. Her stomach began a curious flutter. He’d lowered so slow, eyes locked on hers, begging her to turn away, snub him. But she hadn’t, she’d watched him descend on her. The burst of shock when his lips met hers evoked shiver they shared.

He’d deepened the kiss, his tongue tickling her lip, begging her to allow him deeper. Unable, she’d flipped him, taming her hair before leaning down to meet him again. He’d been
unwilling to let her lead, and rolled her again. He’d gotten fierce, his teeth scratching at her lips, then her jaw and her neck.

“Please, stop,” her breathless whisper halted his actions instantly and he backed away, an apology stammering over his lips.

Staggering back to the present, she realized his breaths had quickened. His fingers grabbed her chin, tilting her face up, but she pulled back. Hands clamped on her shoulders, gripping with a bit too much force.

“Don’t close up on me, please.” The sharp words frightened her, and she backed up more, tripping on a mat. Sprawling backward, she didn’t have time to fight as he fell back with her. He crashed down on her, hands holding her immobile.

“Stop.”

“You said that before, when you didn’t want me to stop. We don’t have to. I saw the look in your eye, you don’t have to hide it.” His lips pressed to hers and fear exploded through he
r. He jerked back, his body rigid. Closing her eyes, she tried to contain her terror.

“Please don’t.” She whispered the words, but there was no answer. Her eyes opened to an empty room.