Vegas to Varanasi (Fortytude Series Book 1) (11 page)

“I’m fine, thanks.” I turn to the patient sitting next to him. “Tina, why don’t you come back and we’ll get your EMS going. I’m so sorry for the wait.”

“No worries.”

Before I leave with her, I address Kiran one more time. “Do you think I could talk to you before you leave?”

He looks at his watch. “Actually, I really need to get back to work. I wasn’t planning to come today. My father called me at the last minute to see if I could bring her.”

“Oh. Sure.”

Tina waits patiently while I ineffectually try to fix this mess.

“I guess I’ll talk to you later then.”

After a crazy morning, we manage to get back on schedule around midday. I did get the chance to speak with Geena and thank her for being so dedicated to her recovery; however, I never had the opportunity to speak with Kiran again before they left.

It’s finally the end of the day, and all I’ve been able to think about is Kiran. I want to apologize and explain in person, but if I call him, I’ll be forced to say it over the phone.

I haven’t had a minute this afternoon to check my text messages, and I see that there’s one from David, letting me know he made it to the airport.
Thank you for staying with me
, he says.
Sorry for my behavior last night.

I take a deep breath and send a text to Kiran.
Is there any way we could meet tonight?

I just feel sick! Am I making a big deal out of nothing? It’s not like we’re dating, but I don’t want him to have the wrong idea about me and David.

As I head to my car a half hour later, I receive a reply from Kiran.
Dinner?

Are you sure you’re available?
I ask.

Seven o’clock at Joe’s Crab Shack?

Deal. My treat.

I have just enough time to run home, shower, and make myself presentable after having looked like a schlub all day. But before I do that, I need to check in with the kids.

Hayden is standing in the hallway bathroom with the door open, gelling his hair before his shift bussing tables tonight. Carly’s in her room with the door closed.

“Hey,” I say to Hayden. “Can I talk to you guys for a minute?”

“Everything okay last night?” he asks, concern in his eyes.

“Yeah.” I take a couple steps to Carly’s room and tap on her door. “Carl, can you come out?”

She opens her door, revealing her laptop and school papers all over her desk. “Hey, what happened last night?”

“David didn’t tell you when he called looking for me?”

She shakes her head. “No, but he sounded pretty rattled.”

“His dad died of a heart attack yesterday.”

“Man, that sucks,” Hayden says.

“He had a rough night. He’s staying in a hotel—”

“A hotel?” Carly steps forward and squishes her eyebrows together. “What’s he doing in a hotel?”

I’m beginning to realize that although David and Carly have stayed in touch, apparently he hasn’t been unloading his personal issues on her, and I’m grateful. “He said something about his roommate’s lease expiring. I don’t know. It sounded kind of strange to me.”

Carly crosses her arms. “Well, did you tell him he can stay with us?”

“Of course I did. He doesn’t want to.”

“What do you mean, he had a rough night?” Hayden asks. “That’s why you didn’t come home?”

I rub my arm. “Look, guys. He was
really
drunk, and he just wanted me to sit with him awhile. I fell asleep and didn’t wake up ’til this morning.”

Hayden and Carly exchange a look.

“Nothing happened!”

“Mom, it doesn’t matter,” Carly says, her eyes wide and glistening. “He needs help.”

“I think he does, too, but he doesn’t see it that way.” I gently hold Carly by the chin. “I know you and David still talk. Please, please don’t feel responsible for him, okay?”

I’m extremely concerned about this continued father/daughter relationship between the two of them.

Seventeen

I arrive at Joe’s Crab Shack, and Kiran is already waiting at a table. As soon as he sees me, he slides out from the booth to greet me, and I give him a quick hug.

“Hi! Thanks for meeting me,” I say, moving into my seat across from him.

“Of course. How was your day?”

“Ugh.” I roll my eyes. “Well, you were there this morning. It didn’t start off great, but got better. What about you?”

Kiran is tense, keeping his arms close to his body. He’s also avoiding my gaze. “Oh, fine. Fine.”

The waitress arrives and takes our drink order and we begin to study our menus. I was planning to launch my apology after we order our food, but it can’t wait. I can’t leave him wondering if I’m even going to address it.

“Kiran.”

He looks up, and as always, the intensity in his eyes makes my breath catch a little.

“I wanna tell you how sorry I am about the conversation you overheard this morning. I need to explain.”

He shakes his head and sets down his menu. “Please, Anna, you don’t have to explain anything... You don’t belong to me.”

His last statement triggers in me a wistful ache, one that takes me off guard.

I take a swallow of water. “I
do
need to explain, because I don’t ever want you to think I’d disregard your feelings.”

“Anna, this isn’t necessary. Really.”

The waitress returns with our drinks. “And have we decided what we’re having tonight?”

“Sorry, we haven’t really looked yet,” Kiran explains. He turns to me. “Were you ready?”

“Uh, yeah. If you are. I always get the same thing anyway. I’ll have the bucket of snow crab.”

“Certainly. And for you, sir?”

“I’ll have the same.”

The waitress collects our menus and leaves us.

“So here’s what happened,” I continue before he can protest. “David showed up at my office last night very upset. Turns out, his dad died yesterday of a heart attack.”

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”

I open a sugar packet and stir it into my iced tea. “I know. Well, he tells me he’s been staying in a hotel, and asks me to go have a drink with him at the bar. Naturally, I’m not too thrilled with the idea because I’ve already told you about his problem, but I go anyway. Long story short, he was in a bad place and had way too much to drink. I walked him to his room and he asked me to stay with him for a while. We both fell asleep, and I didn’t wake up until this morning. But nothing happened. I promise you.”

Kiran offers me a slow smile. “You owe me no explanation, but I’ll be honest, I’m glad that you told me.”

My shoulders sag with relief. “It was unprofessional of me to show up like that this morning, tearing in there, looking a wreck. It probably seemed like I’d had a pretty wild night on the town.”

“You were there for a friend who needed you.” He wraps his fingers around his glass, but doesn’t take a drink. His remark seems to seek confirmation that that’s all David is. A friend, and nothing more.

You don’t belong to me.
Why do those words linger in my ears, leaving me feverish?

Real or imagined, a tension hangs in the air between us, and I exhale.

“What is it?” he asks.

I want to say how I long to climb into the seat beside him, plant my lips on his, and do unspeakable things to him.

“Nothing.”

Kiran straightens and pulls at the collar of his shirt, then he unfastens the top button. “I uh, I wanted to propose an idea. But before I do...” He rubs his mouth. “God, I think I need a tranquilizer. I don’t know how to ask this.” He takes a sip of his coke and sets it back down.

Ask what? I reach across the table and grab his hand. “Spit it out, dude!”

Of course, this has to be the moment our meal arrives. The waitress places our crab buckets in front of us, and I smile and widen my eyes at Kiran, my playful way of showing my frustration with the timing. He chuckles at my expression.

“Can I get you anything else?” the waitress asks.

Kiran looks to me for my response, but I’m too busy speculating on what he was about to ask. Then I realize they’re both waiting for me to say something.

“Oh!” My attention darts to the waitress. “Sorry, no! I’m fine, thanks.”

Once she leaves, I proceed to put on one of the bibs we’ve been given. “I really hate wearing these things. Not only are they unfashionable, but they smell weird. Like, a really strong plastic smell.”

Kiran has already picked up one of his crab legs and begins cracking it open.

“C’mon. You’re not going to make me wear one of these by myself, are you?”

“Sorry.” He smiles. “I don’t do the bibs. They make me feel like a mutant toddler.”

“That’s a good one. Well, if you’re free-stylin’ it, so am I.” I remove the ridiculous bib and break off one of my crab legs. “You realize I’m not letting you off that easy. What did you want to ask me?”

“Alright. Here’s the situation.” He puts his hands in his lap. “As you know, my grandmother is very sick. She probably won’t be with us much longer. In a couple more weeks, I’m flying to Varanasi to see her before she passes because my partner has already planned his vacation in a couple months, so I probably won’t be able to attend her services. I’d rather see her anyway.”

My lips purse in confusion. “Okay... So you need me to get your mail while you’re gone? Water your plants?”

Kiran laughs out loud. “No, Anna. I don’t need you to water my plants.”

I’m still at a loss and lift my shoulders, puzzled. “What then?”

He leans back in his seat and pauses. “I want to know if you’ll come with me. You said you’ve always wanted to see India.”

I’m stunned. All I can do is stare blankly at him.

“There would be no expectations, of course. I just... enjoy spending time with you. You’re easy to be with, and I’d like you to come, so you can see Varanasi with someone who knows it.” He rocks his head side to side. “Well, for the most part.”

I finally blink and regain my senses. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I know it’s a bold request, given the short time we’ve known each other. And I understand if you’re not comfortable with the idea, but, I had to ask. I realize you have a business to run, your children. Just think about it, and if you decide to go, I’ll purchase your ticket.”

My mouth falls open. “
You’ll
purchase my ticket? Oh, no, no. The only way I will even consider this, is if I pay my own way.” I wonder how much a ticket to Varanasi goes for; I’ve never even heard of it. I’m sure it won’t be cheap, but how can I possibly pass up an offer like this?

Kiran leans in, a more relaxed expression on his face. “I’m so glad you’ll consider it.” He resumes breaking open another crab leg. “I’d been thinking about asking you for a couple of days, but when you wanted to know if we could meet, after this morning, I was half expecting you to tell me we couldn’t see each other anymore.”

“Oh. I’m sorry I made you think that,” I say pointedly, ignoring my plate and looking at him.

He stops what he’s doing and smiles at me. “Nothing to be sorry about.”

I’m truly kidding myself if I think I’m going to accept this invitation and not end up in the sack with this beautiful, sweet man.

If he is so inclined.

Eighteen

Before I make a final decision about going to India, I want to consult with the kids, Luke, and Julia for their opinions. I didn’t say anything to Carly or Hayden about it the evening Kiran invited me, but the following day I ask Julia and Luke to come over so I can get their feedback.

The four of them sit in the living room, looking at me expectantly. “So what’s this all about?” Julia asks.

I pace the floor in front of them. “Okay, like I told all of you, I need your help with a decision about something.”

Each of them briefly looks at the others, before turning their eyes back on me. “Keep going.” Luke gives me the hand motion.

My face scrunches into a grimace, because I have no idea if they’ll think I’m nutso for even considering going halfway around the world with Kiran. “Kiran invited me to go on a trip with him. To India.”

There’s a pause before anyone reacts, then Julia starts giggling with excitement. “Oooooh! Honey, you’ve done something good in a past life to reap that kind of reward!”

“That’s a pretty impressive offer!” Luke says, followed by a nod of approval.

Hayden shrugs at Carly, but she’s just staring at me with raised eyebrows. “Are you going, Mom?”

“I don’t know.” I sit down in the recliner. “I haven’t known him that long. Is it a good idea? What if he turns out to be... I don’t know, unstable or something?”

“Anna,” Julia says. “My own daughter’s in-laws have known him over ten years! I think you’re pretty safe.”

“Do you want to go?” Hayden asks.

I grin, looking at each of them. “I kinda do.”

“Then go,” he says. “Go get you some Tall Glass!”

Everyone cracks up at his comment.

“Alright. I find it a bit unnerving that my own son’s so eager to pimp me out.”

“When would you leave?” Luke asks.

“In just a couple more weeks, so I have to make arrangements at the office.”

“What’s the purpose of the trip?” Carly narrows her eyes a bit. Always the protective one. “Just because?”

“His family seems to think his grandmother doesn’t have much time left. Kiran wants to see her, and he invited me, I guess because I made the remark a while back that I’ve always wanted to visit India. His grandmother lives with his aunt now, in an apartment complex. Apparently, Kiran’s father owns a flat in the same complex for when they visit, and we’ll stay there.”

“I just have one more question,” Carly says. “Not that he should be any of your concern in this matter, because, well... whatever. But what do you plan to tell David when he gets back?”

I frown. “Why should I have to explain anything? Carly, we’re not a couple anymore.”

“I know, I know.” She raises her hands. “It’s just, you know how screwed up he is right now. I don’t wanna see him take a nose dive. I would think about it, in advance, how you’re gonna break it to him.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “You seem to be forgetting he’s the one that chose to leave. I didn’t make him.” It annoys me that a little of my bitterness shows itself for a moment.

Luke and Julia give each other sideways glances.

“Okay,” Carly concedes.

“So, you guys think it’s okay for me to do this?”

“Why not?” Luke says. “You deserve an adventure.”

***

A couple of hours later, I phone Kiran. “Well, I’ve consulted with my posse, and I’m told you’re probably a safe travel companion.”

“You’re coming to Varanasi?”

“Yep.” I’m so glad he can’t see the stupid grin that stretches from one side of my face to the other.

“That’s wonderful!” He sighs. “Your company will make the trip a little less disheartening.”

Reminded this isn’t exactly a vacation for him, I’m kind of ashamed of myself that in my excitement, I’d forgotten the purpose of the trip. “I’m sorry about your grandma, Kiran. What’s wrong with her anyway?”

“I guess her biggest problem is that’s she’s ninety-six years old,” he quips. “She’s had two strokes in two years, and has been going downhill ever since. My aunt says she doesn’t eat much these days. She sleeps a lot... It’s time I visit her before my chance is gone.”

“Not that it’s a good occasion, but I’m happy I’ll get to meet her.” It suddenly occurs to me that he might not want me to meet her. I get the impression his family is on the traditional side, and wonder if they’ll have opinions about us traveling together. “I mean, that is, if you want me to meet her!” I add. “I don’t have to.”

“Of course I want you to meet her, Anna. Why wouldn’t I?”

I nibble on my lip. “I don’t know. I wasn’t sure. So do I need to pack anything special for this trip?”

“I have to warn you. It’s very hot this time of year. It’s a different kind of heat than Las Vegas. Very humid. Thankfully, the apartment has AC, but you’ll definitely want to pack light clothing.”

“Got it.”

“Despite the heat, don’t plan to wear shorts or tank tops while we’re out. If you want to avoid unwanted attention, you’re best to go with loose cotton pants and shirts that don’t show a lot of skin. Or we can get you a couple salwar kameez while there, if you like. You can dress however you want at the apartment, of course.”

“Salwa who what?”

“Salwar kameez.” He chuckles. “It’s just a set of loose pants and a tunic.”

Thank goodness I’m not doing this by myself! I could just see me being stupid enough to dress like a Las Vegan and be viewed as a pariah in India. Or worse, get myself molested.

“I know it must seem strange, but believe me, your visit will be less stressful the less you stand out.”

“I like blending, for sure.” I already know I’ll stand out like a sore thumb with my lighter complexion. “Do you think I should do a hair rinse before we go, to make it dark?”

“I don’t think that’s necessary.” There’s a lilt in his voice that gives me the impression he finds me entertaining. “You can always wear a scarf if you’re getting more attention than you would like.”

Agh
. I’m already starting to stress out. Maybe I should do some research before we leave so I don’t make any major faux pas while there.

“And one last thing,” he says. “Try to prepare yourself for the culture shock. There’s a lot of beauty in Varanasi, but the way of life is the opposite end of the spectrum from what we are used to.”

After hanging up with Kiran, I start having a mild panic attack. I lie flat on my bed with my hand on my stomach.

“Hey, Mom. What’re we doing for din—” Hayden strolls in my room and stops when he sees me. “You sick?”

I rub my eyes. “No. I’m just starting to get nervous about this trip.”

He sits on the bed beside me. “Already? Why?”

“Going to India is not like going to Jamaica. I need to find some loose pants that cover my legs, but will also keep me cool. Apparently, scarves are a good idea, too.” Ugh. A trip to Kohl’s. “I knew it was going to be hellishly hot there, but didn’t think about the fact that I’ll have to cover up.”

“If the clothes are loose, they’ll keep ya cool.” With a thoughtful expression, he crosses his arms. “It’s like those Arabs that wear the long robes. The air can move through that way.”

Still, I’ve never done muggy heat well. I guess it comes from living in the desert so long. I’ll have to do all my bitching about it now, or Kiran will wish he never invited me.

“Do a favor for me while I’m gone.” I put my hand on Hayden’s arm.

“Yeah?”

“I know that Carly and David have always been close, but I’m kinda worried she’s concerning herself a little too much with his welfare. And like she said, he seems to be pretty off balance at the moment.”

“Okay.” Hayden’s forehead wrinkles. “What do you want
me
to do?”

“I don’t know. Just keep an eye on her. Maybe pick her brain a little?”

“You mean, be your spy?”

“It’s not spying. I just don’t want him dragging her into his midlife crisis, or whatever this is he’s going through.”

Hayden yanks his head back, aversion in his face. “I really hope you’re not implying there’s something... indecent... going on.”

“What? No! Not at all. Ewww!”

Hayden exhales and puts a hand on his chest. “Thank God!”

I don’t want to express that I have suspicions David might use Carly to get to me, because that would imply he doesn’t care about her. I know he does. It’s that his behavior has been all over the place this past year and I have no idea where he’s coming from, one second to the next.

“Just let me know if she seems to be getting unusually upset after talking with him or something. I’ll probably iMessage you guys while I’m gone, because from what I understand online, we won’t be charged with texting fees that way. I’ll bring my laptop so I can Skype with you, too.”

“Sounds good.” He nods his head. “And Mom, I know this probably isn’t a conversation you wanna have with your son, but, you know, just have some fun while you’re gone. Don’t let this guy get under your skin.”

I tilt my head. “What do you mean?”

“I mean...” He looks straight ahead instead of at me, and gestures with his hands. “Have fun! You just broke up with David. Tall Glass is probably your rebound guy anyway.” He turns toward me and his eyes grow large. “Keep it light.”

And this was my sweet boy’s way of telling me he doesn’t want to see me get hurt.

***

I still have another phone call to get out of the way. David’s. I haven’t spoken with him since he flew to Minneapolis, and most likely he’ll be back before I leave for Varanasi, but I don’t know that for sure. I really should check to see how he’s doing anyway.

I take a deep breath as the line rings, and say a little prayer that it goes to voicemail so I can leave a message.

“Anna, hi!”

“Hi! I wasn’t sure if I would get you. How are you? Did your flight go okay?”

“Yeah, it was fine. How are you?”

“Good.” I put my hand on my throat and look out the window. Trixie is in the backyard, chasing a bug on the pool deck. “How’s your mom doing?”

“She’s alright. The funeral’s on Friday. I’ll stay a couple more days to help her take care of some business, and then head back home.”

“I bet she’s relieved you’re there to help. Please send her my love.” Trixie is now sitting, calmly watching what looks like a water bug crawling past her.

“Anna, I’m sorry. For that night.”

I wave my hand. “Forget it. Not a big deal.” I leave the window and walk to my dresser, where I run a finger through the dust on my jewelry box. “Look, I have some news.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna take a trip to India in a couple of weeks.”

“India! Really.”

“Mmm hmm... Remember that guy I went to school with? Kiran?”

The other end of the line goes silent.

“Uh, he has to take a trip out there and asked me to join him.” I run a hand through my hair. “And, geez, how can I pass up a chance like that?”

Still, nothing. My stomach turns.

“David? Are you—”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“What do you mean? I didn’t want you to come back and not even say anything to you about it.”

“How well do you even know him, Anna?”

“Well enough. And Julia’s son-in-law has known him for years.”

“Are you fucking him?”

I’m not sure what shocks me more, the hateful tone in his voice, or what he just asked me. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“Wow.” And I’d planned to tell him how impressed I was with his writing. Now all I want to do is hang up. “I don’t think it’s any of your fucking business.”

He is being completely unfair.
He
is the one who walked. Not me! And now he wants to try and make
me
feel like shit?

“You’re right.” His voice softens. “You’re right. That was outta line.”

“I’m gonna go.”

“No, Anna! I’m sorry.”

I continue to hold the phone to my ear as my heart pounds.

“Shit!” he says under his breath. Then it sounds like he bangs on something a couple of times.

“David, I wasn’t trying—”

“No. It’s good. You have a fantastic time. I guess I’ll talk to you when you get back.”

He hangs up before I can respond.