Veiled Dreams (2 page)

Christina heard voices in the hallway and then the door slammed. He had gone. She had let him go.

Why did I do that?
thought Christina.
I am so stupid. Why didn’t I just take the flowers and say thank you, and we could have carried on from where we left off?
She always seemed to do the same. Tell him the opposite of what she really thought. Well, not always, but often when it mattered.

When Paul woke her up and told her Jan was here, her heart started thumping. She’d wanted to jump out of bed and rush to him and fling her arms round him. But she’d remembered Paul was there and she didn’t want him to see her doing that. She hadn’t had a shower yet and she might be a bit smelly. Let alone the state of her hair.

A little voice inside her had said she should not give in to him too easily, that she should make him suffer a bit for the way she’d suffered when he’d been away.

Oh, and she’d missed him so much. There was so much to tell him. That they had her medication right now, and she probably wouldn’t have any more fits. That she’d done well in the IB mocks. Why couldn’t she just have accepted the flowers? After all, she did really know that he
had
to go to the bikers’ convention.

Christina groaned, pulled herself up off the bed, and then quickly showered. Catching sight of herself in the mirror, she ran a hand through the wild hair and then started attacking it with the brush. Paul was in the kitchen when she got there, reading his latest computer magazine.

‘There’s some coffee,’ he said.

She poured a cup. It was too hot to drink yet. She sat and
thought about Jan while it cooled down a bit.

‘It’ll be cold if you don’t drink it soon,’ said Paul, waking her from her reverie.

‘Oh dear!’ said Christina. She took a sip. It was disgusting.

‘Why did you have to be like that with him?’ asked Paul. ‘Don’t know what he was thinking, bringing you flowers that early in the morning.’

‘What do you know about it?’ snapped Christina ‘Leave me alone.’

‘All right, all right,’ said Paul. ‘Anyway, I think Van Bredow’s got your flowers. I saw him leave and he didn’t have them anymore. She was just coming in.’

She would phone him. Then she would go and rescue the flowers.

She tried the landline and then his mobile; there was no reply to either.

‘It’s useless,’ she said to Paul. ‘He won’t take my calls.’

‘Don’t be daft,’ said Paul. ‘He won’t be back yet.’

‘I suppose,’ said Christina, knowing that the time was going to drag now. She bit her lip and started kicking the leg of the kitchen table. Not hard; it was just something to do with her leg. Paul looked up and frowned.

‘Why don’t you go and get your flowers back from Van Bredow, then when you do speak to him, you can thank him properly? You’ll know what they look like then,’ Paul suggested.

Christina wasn’t sure that she wanted to go and listen to one of their elderly neighbour’s lectures. On the other hand, it was better than having to put up with Paul’s smugness.

A few moments later, she was tentatively ringing the doorbell of the apartment, which shared their entrance hall.

‘Ah, Christina,’ said the funny little woman. ‘You have come for your flowers, I expect. They are so beautiful. That is a lovely young man you have there. Come on in, come on in.’

Mrs Van Bredow’s apartment was dark inside. She had the
blinds shut and it was overfilled with dark old-fashioned furniture. But there in the centre of the room, on the large square coffee table, was a vase of bright yellow and red flowers. They seemed to fill the room with light and energy.

‘You can take the vase home with you,’ said Mrs Van Bredow. ‘After all, it is not as if nice young men buy me flowers anymore. And it suits these ones so much.’

Christina couldn’t speak. She just stared at the bouquet. Jan had it so right.

‘Well,’ said Mrs Von Bredow. ‘Are you going to take them? Are you going to phone him?’ She went to pick up the vase, but her hand cramped up. She winced with the pain.

That must really hurt
, thought Christina.

‘Well, have you?’ Mrs Von Bredow asked again. ‘That boy deserves to know where he stands. Don’t be so haughty, Missy.’

‘I’ve tried,’ said Christina. ‘But he’s not answering.’

‘Might not have got back yet,’ replied the old lady. ‘Anyway, you should go and see him. It’s better if you talk face to face.’

Christina knew she was right. God, why was she such a mop-head? Why hadn’t she just been glad he’d turned up?

‘Okay, Mrs Van B, ‘said Christina. ‘You’re right of course.’

‘Try once more before you go,’ said Mrs Van Bredow. She handed Christina the phone. Her fingers cramped up again around the handset and she caught her breath.

Christina punched Jan’s number into the phone. It seemed an age before it started to ring. She counted ten tones, and then waited a few more seconds. Nothing. Oh, she did want to hear his voice again, now.

‘You’d better go then,’ said Mrs Van Bredow.

‘I will,’ replied Christina. ‘Thank you Mrs Van Bredow. Will you look after my flowers for me until I get back?’ She hugged the little old lady.

‘Of course. Get on then,’ replied Mrs Van Bredow.

Minutes later, Christina was by the tram stop. She was going
to have to change twice and get off right outside Jan’s door, or change just once and have a ten-minute walk. She couldn’t decide which to do, and in the end opted for seeing which tram came first. It was a number five – so she would have ten minutes on foot at the end. That wouldn’t hurt. A good brisk walk might calm her down a bit.

The sun was shining cheerfully already. It was going to be all right.

The tram took a while to load. So many people were getting on and the driver was carefully checking everybody’s ticket. She was really lucky as she even managed to get a seat. A tall girl with a headscarf wrapped tightly round her head and a veil draped across her face sat down next to her. The girl nodded.

That’s so weird
, thought Christina.
Why do they do that?

The girl took a book out of her bag and started to read. Christina recognised it as one of her IB text books.

She must be about the same age as me then
, thought Christina.
Even weirder
.

She didn’t think any more about the girl, though, until it was time to get off the tram. She was too busy thinking about what it would be like to be with Jan again. She was looking forward to his dancing eyes, and hearing his stories from his biker trip. He always made them sound funny, even if they really weren’t. Perhaps he’d kiss her. She loved it when he got just a little bit carried away. It was so sweet, the way he held back then.

‘Excuse me please,’ she said in her best Dutch.

The girl with the veil jumped slightly. She must have found the IB geography textbook so much more fascinating than Christina did. Then her eyes crinkled up and Christina could tell that she was smiling. It was odd, so odd. She could tell that the girl was smiling, even though she couldn’t see her lips.

She was lucky again. The number nine tram came almost immediately. So she had another five minutes on the tram, and then that quick walk. She had to stand this time but didn’t really
mind. She didn’t think she would be able to sit still anyway. Concentrating on keeping her balance and not falling into other people was a good distraction.

It did only take the usual five minutes, the trams were never held up by other traffic, but the time couldn’t go quickly enough for Christina.

As soon as it stopped, she pushed her way out through the crowd and was soon marching smartly along the wide avenue past the park near where Jan lived. Her heartbeat got faster and faster, partly from the walking but mainly at the thought of seeing him. At one point she almost turned round and went back. It was getting a bit much. Suppose he was mad with her now?

She turned into the narrow street, which ran alongside the canal. Yes! She could see his motorbike parked outside his flat. She walked faster and faster, almost running.

Then he came out of the flat.
Oh no
, she thought,
he was on his way out
.

‘Jan!’ she called, running now. ‘Jan! Wait!’

He had the spare helmet with him, the one she normally wore when she rode with him. Perhaps he was going to see her. But wait, why wasn’t he putting it into the luggage compartment?

Then Susanne Richards come out of the front door, dressed like a tart. She got on the bike, behind Jan. He said something to her, revved the engine and the bike set off. Seconds later, they were coming towards Christina.

She quickly ducked into a doorway. No, this couldn’t be happening. This was a nightmare.

They passed just a couple of metres in front of her. She couldn’t see their faces because of the helmets. She felt sick. She dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands and bit her lip hard to try to stop herself crying.

That was it then, wasn’t it? It was over. And there was nothing she could do about it.

Christina had been dreading this moment. She had managed to avoid Susanne up until now. They were in the same English group, and although Christina had deliberately arrived late, it looked as if their teacher was going to be even later.

Susanne was already there.

‘Oh look what the cat’s brought in!’ sneered Susanne as soon as she saw Christina. ‘God woman, you are a mess. You want to do something about those silly curls.’ She walked towards her and ruffled her hair. ‘I’ve got some scissors in my bag. Shall I cut it all off for you?’ She let Christina’s hair drop and pulled a face. ‘No wonder he dumped you. I expect he thought he might catch something.’

The bitch, that was rubbish. He hadn’t dumped her. Perhaps it had just looked to him as if she had dumped him.

‘He didn’t dump me!’ Christina retaliated. ‘You stole him.’

‘Stole him?’ Susanne laughed. She turned to her friends. ‘Now why on earth would I want to steal another girl’s boyfriend? I’m not that desperate, like some people.’

Susanne’s friends were now grinning too.

‘Of course, Jan told me it was my eyes that did it,’ Susanne continued in a very loud voice. ‘He just can’t stand green eyes!’ She looked straight at Christina.

Christina remembered Jan telling her that her eyes fascinated him. She’d always hated them until then. Susanne’s were a more normal blue. Susanne smiled sweetly at Christina, and raised her eyebrows. The blue eyes mocked and challenged.

‘Oh shut up, you bitch!’ snapped Christina.

‘Want to make me?’

‘Yes, if you like.’

Christina lunged towards Susanne and grabbed her hair. Susanne screamed and put her hands up to her head, trying to get away, so Christina bit her arm. Escaping from Christina’s grip, Susanne screamed again. Christina raised her knee and pushed her into the wall. Hitting her head, Susanne lost her balance and fell to the floor. Christina started to kick her. Then she made the mistake of stopping for breath. Susanne was back on her feet in seconds and soon they were hitting each other again. There was a loud crack as Christina caught Susanne’s nose. And another loud crack as Susanne punched Christina’s mouth. A crowd gathered in no time.

‘Go on, give her one,’ Christina heard one of the boys called out. ‘She’s a right bitch, anyway.’

She most certainly is
, thought Christina, and suddenly found the strength to punch Susanne’s nose hard again. This time blood came rushing out.

‘Come on Susanne, show her,’ called one of Susanne’s friends.

Susanne grabbed Christina’s hair again and started twisting it round.

Christina lashed out with her arms and her feet and suddenly Susanne was down on the floor again. Christina kicked her even harder now. She didn’t care how much she hurt her or how much trouble she was going to get into. She just kicked and kicked.

‘Fight! Fight! Fight!’ It seemed that the whole of the school was watching and cheering. Suddenly Susanne grabbed Christina’s ankle and bit it. The pain was the worst yet and took Christina’s breath away. The room began to sway and everything went dark and blotchy in front of her. Then there was another bite, which seemed to bring her back into her body. She hit out again at Susanne, then lost her balance and fell down on top of her.

‘Get off you bitch,’ cried Susanne. ‘You’re breaking my back.’

Good!
thought Christina and raised her arm ready to start thrashing Susanne again.

‘Just stop right there!’ demanded a voice. ‘What on earth do
you two think you’re doing?’

Christina looked up to see Mr Reynolds the headteacher, standing in the doorway. Behind him looking quite stern was the relief teacher who sometimes took classes when other teachers were absent. Pity he hadn’t turned up earlier. Then none of this would have happened.

Christina felt another pain in her ankle. She looked down and saw that it was bleeding. Susanne’s mouth was open in a wide grin and her teeth were covered in blood.

‘Bitch! Slut!’ shouted Christina. ‘What do you think you are, a bloody vampire?’

‘Whimp! Toffy-tart!’ retorted Susanne.

‘Enough!’ yelled Mr Reynolds. ‘My office, now, both of you.’

Christina fidgeted in her seat. It was hot here in the head’s office. The sun was shining right into her eyes, giving her a headache. She wished they would get this over with.

‘We will not tolerate fighting at this school,’ said Mr Reynolds. ‘There is no room for people who behave like that.’

Her dad gave her that look, which always made her want to cry. She hated letting him down. She hated disappointing him, and Mum looked as if she was about to cry.

‘However,’ Mr Reynolds continued. ‘As this is a first offence, we shall allow her to stay here. But she will have a detention every night after school for a month. We have expelled the other girl involved as this was the latest in a long line of misdemeanours.’

Mr Reynolds turned to Christina. ‘I am so disappointed in you, Christina,’ he said. ‘You have been such an excellent student up until now. Let’s get these detentions done, and put this behind you. Can you do that?’

‘Yes,’ mumbled Christina. She supposed she could. Nothing really mattered anymore, now that she had lost Jan.

Her mother was staring at her. She had a look on her face as
well. Hers said,
See what getting involved with older boys does for you
.

‘Thank you,’ said Mr Grant, standing up and shaking Mr Reynolds’s hand.’ Thank you for being so understanding.’ He looked at Christina. There seemed to be a question in his eyes.

Christina had to bite her lip hard to stop the tears coming. There was a huge lump in her throat, which stopped her swallowing. ‘I’m really sorry,’ she managed to whisper to no one in particular as she followed her parents out of the room.