Venus of Shadows (49 page)

Chimene laughed. "Don't worry about that. I'm not past all barriers yet, and the Guide wouldn't approve of anything that might drive you further from us. I hope you'll invite me when you decide to make a pledge."

"I will." Lena clasped her hands, then crossed the small bridge. A patrol volunteer on the other bank greeted the young woman; Chimene could not hear her friend's reply.

She turned and climbed the small slope to Kichi's house. The common room was nearly empty. Eva Danas and Galina Kolek sat in one comer, speaking to Boaz, who had not yet left; Josefa Huong's head rested on Yusef Deniz's shoulder. Lang Eberschild and Matthew Innes were with Kichi, reclining on cushions in the center of the room. Matthew looked up as Chimene approached, then quickly got to his feet.

He led her toward the screen, away from the others; she looked up into his gray-green eyes. His arm encircled her waist; she leaned against his slender body. Matthew had brought her to his room three years ago, when she was sixteen, during one of her visits to this house. He had been her first lover, and Chimene knew he had welcomed the chance to instruct her, but Kichi had chosen him for her. He was gentle with her and spoke of his love for her, but the delight he took in being with her would not keep him from others. That had been one of her most difficult lessons — learning to love Matthew, and then realizing that she would have to share his love with other sisters in Ishtar.

But she had to share herself, too. That had been even harder; the first time she had been with a man other than Matthew, she had imagined that she still held Matthew in her arms. She was past that now; she knew she could love others. She wondered why she sometimes felt that she had lost something rather than gaining more love.

He stroked her hair; she brushed back a pale blond lock from his forehead. Perhaps he wanted to come to her room now and share the rite with her.

"You seem pensive," Matthew said. "I think I know why. You're still new to this household and worrying about whether you'll ever feel you're one of us." It was true; Matthew had the Guide's gift for knowing how she felt. "That's over, Chimene. You won't have to move between one place and another, wondering if you'll ever be at home in either place. You're with us now, and every household of believers will be your home."

She was about to speak; he pressed a finger against her lips lightly. "It's time you shared the rite with us. We've asked Boaz to stay — he's been with us several times before. You should be with us as well."

She was suddenly afraid. "I don't know."

"But you've participated in the rite before."

"Only the way you and I celebrated it — alone, with one man, never with others present." Matthew had to know that already; she had admitted as much to Kichi, who kept no secrets from her household. "I'm not ready for this."

"The Guide believes you are, or I would never have suggested it. We want you with us, Chimene. This is a barrier you have to conquer if you're ever to become the Guide yourself."

He was right, however much she recoiled from such an encounter. To be asked to join those so close to the Guide was an invitation no one in Ishtar could refuse; only the worthiest of believers would be asked. She had known this would come sooner or later. How could she refuse? She recalled what Kichi had told her years ago, on the night when she had first told Chimene she would be the next Guide.
Turn away now, and the wall you build inside yourself will imprison you as surely as this dome does
. That threat had always lain behind Kichi's promises and the faith she claimed to have in Chimene.

"The Guide will watch over us," Matthew continued, "but you must take her place. You must join us. You'll see we were right."

"Very well." Her voice sounded hoarse. He kissed her lightly on the forehead, then beckoned to the others.

*  *  *

Chimene moved toward her room in a daze, trying to keep her mind as blank as possible. She took a breath as the door closed behind her, then quickly shed her clothes before removing her shroud from a drawer.

I mustn't be afraid, she told herself. She was loved; that was why they wanted her with them. The Guide would watch over her, and Matthew would be there; surely sharing the rite in the presence of the others could not be that different from the times they were alone. But maybe Matthew did not expect her to go to him; perhaps this was another test for her, to see if she could reach out to another while he was present.

She steadied herself. The rite was what mattered; which man shared it with her did not. She had to be willing to love any of her brothers in Ishtar.

Chimene covered herself with her shroud. The dark cloth reached from the top of her head to the floor. She swayed a little on her bare feet, then opened the door.

Four shrouded figures waited for her at the end of the corridor. She caught a glimpse of one golden-skinned foot before its owner drew it under her shroud; that had to be Josefa Huong. Eva Danas was the tallest of the women; her shroud hid her form, but not her height. "The Spirit is with us," another woman whispered; she recognized Kichi's voice.

Chimene felt nothing. Galina Kolek had told her that this was when she felt closest to the Spirit, that the rite always freed her from herself. Faith came so easily to some.

She followed the others into the common room. The ceiling light panels were dim. Through the dark fabric concealing her face, Chimene saw a blurred image on the screen, a vista of high mountain peaks topped by snow and covered with evergreens, overlooking a wide, grassy plain — Ishtar Terra as it would be.

The men were waiting for them. Each man was clothed in a long dark robe and stood by the mats in the center of the room. One shrouded woman seated herself in front of the screen as the men opened their robes, then let them fall.

The three women with Chimene did not move. Were they waiting for her to make her choice? She shivered, wanting to bolt from the room. Matthew was standing next to Boaz Huerta, his pale skin a contrast to the other man's darker hue. Lang Eberschild's head was bowed; his graying hair hid his eyes. Yusef Deniz lifted his bearded face and gazed directly at the shrouded women.

For a moment, Chimene felt a stirring inside her mind, as though something outside herself was trying to touch her thoughts. Could it be that she might feel the Spirit now? She emptied her mind, giving herself up to the dimly felt sensation; she would let it guide her, whatever it was.

She lowered her eyes and moved toward the men; the soft padding of the other women's footsteps followed her. She stopped before one man and touched him lightly on the hand, then looked up at Boaz's dark eyes.

She tensed as he drew her down onto a mat. She caught a glimpse of Matthew, only a few paces away on another mat, as he embraced another shrouded form, and then Boaz stretched out at her side. His hands roamed over her, feeling her body through her shroud. She was the Spirit of Venus to him now, the Spirit of the world still veiled in thick, dark clouds and hidden by the Parasol, as she was by her shroud. He had to appease her, placate the Spirit of the world they were transforming. His touch was gentle at first, as if he feared that she might not accept him. He reached under the cloth and caressed her belly and thighs.

Did he know who she was yet? He had shared the rite with the others before; had the unfamiliarity of her body already revealed who she was? It made no difference; she was all of his sisters now, only another aspect of all those who would be united by the Spirit.

His fingers explored her; she heard herself gasp. Another woman was moaning; a deeper cry answered hers. Boaz lifted Chimene's shroud above her hips, then lowered his head. His lips brushed against her belly; she opened her legs wider as his tongue found her slit.

She was ready for him more quickly than she had expected to be. He lifted her hips as she guided him into her. It was time to remove her shroud, to imagine the day when the clouds of Venus would finally part and the land below lay open to the sun. She drew the shroud up and lifted it from her face.

His arms tightened around her. She saw the delight in his eyes as he gazed into hers, his joy that the Spirit had guided her to him. This was the reason for her beauty — to make men even stronger in their devotion to Ishtar; Kichi had told her that. She embodied the Spirit of this world, demanding their love, reflecting the beauty this world would have when it was transformed. She was Ishtar as she moved under him, accepting his offering to Venus, certain once again of her purpose.

Matthew was groaning; she recognized the sound. Josefa was kneeling astride him; her black hair swayed as she threw her head back. Chimene hoped the others were feeling the joy she felt, Boaz was thrusting more rapidly inside her; she caught a glimpse of the Guide as she glanced past Boaz's brown shoulder.

Kichi's head was bare, her shroud draped around her shoulders. She was looking at Chimene with a cold, distant stare; a strange, almost mocking smile played about her lips. Chimene faltered, and then Boaz lowered his head, hiding Kichi from view. She clawed at his back and surrendered herself to him.

Twenty-One

Dyami sat at the edge of the grassy plain, just beyond the trees. From here, he could see the entrance to the residence where the Habbers working in the west dome lived. Once the windowless circular structure had sat at some distance from the nearest dwellings, but more houses had been built, and the walls of a few more were rising on the plain. Ten Habbers lived in that gray-walled house now; soon most of them would be gone. Some would go to their Habitat; two or three might stay on the Islands or go to work in the Freyja Mountains.

Bartai would be leaving; she had told him so a couple of days ago. She had said she would miss their talks, but she didn't seem unhappy about going home. Habbers were like that; they didn't get too attached to anyone here. Risa told him that was their way, but it seemed to him that it was partly the settlers' fault, too, since they avoided the Habbers whenever possible.

His parents would not want him to be here, but he couldn't see that sitting here was actually disobeying them. He wasn't visiting the house, which they had forbidden; he was only looking at it. If Sef or Risa asked him where he had gone today, Dyami would tell them that he had been in the community greenhouses helping out, and that would be the truth.

Theron had taken his students there earlier, since their classes wouldn't begin again for another week, and had turned them over to the adults in the greenhouses. The children had been put to work checking the water gauges, weeding some of the tiers, and packing produce. One man had instructed them in how to put on the face masks and rebreathers anyone working in the large greenhouses had to wear. The plants flourished in an atmosphere with a higher percentage of carbon dioxide, and the man had been very stern about telling the children to make sure their masks were on tight. Alicia Hamlyn-Kateri clearly hadn't been listening; after she had fainted and was revived, the children were lectured about safety before being allowed to leave a bit early.

Bartai might come to the Habber house soon, or maybe she was inside and would decide to take a walk. He would not be disobeying his parents if he spoke to the Habber woman outside the residence; he wouldn't have too many more chances to talk to her. He wondered if she was leaving because of all those people in Ishtar who couldn't stop talking about how creepy Habbers were, the ones like his sister Chimene.

He glanced at the timepiece he wore on one finger and decided to wait another hour. If his friend Teo Lingard got here before then, he might wait a bit longer, but then he would have to head home before the light began to dim. The patrol was always out early along the main road that ran behind the Habber residence, and they usually questioned anyone who was loitering nearby.

Dyami did not like the patrol. They were nosy, always asking where you were going. Once, one patrol volunteer had asked him if he had seen one man leaving the Habber residence. Dyami had, but refused to admit it. The volunteer had muttered something about "offenses to Ishtar," whatever that meant, before sending Dyami on his way. He hadn't seen the man doing anything wrong; therefore, he did not have to say anything about him. People on the patrol sometimes seemed much too curious without a good reason.

Almost all of the patrol volunteers were in Ishtar, even though most of the people in Oberg weren't members of the cult. Dyami had once asked Kolya why people put up with the patrol. "They're annoying sometimes," Kolya had replied, "but they've prevented some trouble, and we're all probably safer because of them. You can say what you like about Ishtar, but at least they can get people organized when something needs to be done." It was the way adults thought; they would put up with something they didn't much like, while telling themselves it was for their own good.

In the distance, a passenger cart was rolling along the main road; it stopped and a dark-haired boy jumped out. Dyami lifted a hand and waved as Teo Lingard ran toward him across the open expanse.

Teo was panting by the time he reached Dyami. "Sorry I took so long." He threw himself onto the grass. "I had to get the goat shit cleaned up and into the sterilizer, and then my uncle had to go to a friend's, so he told me to take my cousin over to the nursery before I went anywhere. Seen Bartai yet?"

Dyami shook his head.

"She's really going?"

"Yeah."

"Don't feel too bad about it." Teo stretched out on his back; Dyami lay down next to him and gazed at the dome overhead. The disk of light was beyond the trees behind him, but a paler halo of light surrounded it. The dome was a vast, banded bowl, white at the center, then blending into yellow, gray, and at the edge, where it met the low wall that circled the settlement, black.

Teo said, "I wonder what a real sky is like, with clouds and all, I mean one where it isn't always dark the way it is outside."

"Take a mind-tour and find out."

"Maybe a real sky's very different."