Victoria Victorious: The Story of Queen Victoria (41 page)

A terrible thing happened that morning. I have never forgotten it. I might so easily have lost him then. I remember still those moments when I saw him disappear beneath the ice.

I had just been thinking that it was a little warmer, but that the ice might have thawed did not enter my head until it happened.

“Albert!” I screamed; and in the space of a few seconds I lived through nightmares. I pictured them bringing him out of the lake. I saw his body on a stretcher, stiff and cold. Albert, my beloved, lost to me forever.

Then I saw Albert's head above the hole in the ice and I ran. There was no time to do anything else. I had to save him.

I stepped cautiously onto the ice. Albert saw me. He called, “Go back. The ice is too thin. It's dangerous.”

But I did not heed him. I was not going to stand by and wait for people to come and rescue Albert.

I moved toward him. The ice was holding and my determination to save him was stronger than my fear or my weakness. I was there.

I stretched out a hand.

“Go back,” cried Albert.

But I continued to hold out my hand. He grasped it and to my infinite joy, by clinging to me he was able to scramble out of the water.

“Oh Albert,” I cried, sobbing with relief. But I was practical immediately. He was shivering with cold in his wet garments. “Come quickly into the Palace,” I said.

Divested of his sodden clothes, wrapped in warm blankets, sipping hot punch, Albert smiled at me tenderly.

“My brave
Liebchen
,” he said.

“Oh, Albert, if I should lose you I should want to
die
,” I said; and I meant it.

I ENJOYED THE
christening. It was wonderful to see dear Uncle Leopold, and it was amazing how little my resentments seemed to matter when I was face to face with him. He was one of the sponsors. Albert's father was also one, but as he was unable to attend, the Duke of Wellington stood proxy for him. Mama, Queen Adelaide, the Duchess of Gloucester, and the Duke of Sussex were the other sponsors.

Pussy behaved with unusual decorum and did not cry at all. She seemed quite interested in the gloriously apparelled people who surrounded her. She was really becoming quite pretty. A fact that delighted me. I could not have borne it if she had retained the froglike features of her birth.

Lord Melbourne attended the ceremony. He looked at me very sentimentally and I was touched with uneasiness for I knew things were going very badly for the government.

“The baby behaved impeccably,” he said. “I can see she is going to take after her mother.”

I laughed.

“She might have shown some displeasure,” he went on. “Think what an effect that would have had on the proceedings.”

He could always bring a light touch into everything even when he was disturbed.

I arranged that Lord Melbourne should sit beside me at the dinner party that followed the christening; and we talked a great deal about old times and he was his usual witty self.

I could not help thinking how sad I should be if I should have to accept another in his place.

It was soon after that when I made a truly alarming discovery. I was pregnant once more.

MY FIRST IMPULSE
was fury; then the fear came. Oh, no, I could not go through all that again… and so soon. I was only just getting over Pussy's birth, and here I was starting it all over again.

I loved Albert, and in spite of one or two storms, my marriage was a
happy one, but this side of it could never please me. It was the shadow side of marriage.

Albert was delighted at the prospect of another child and I resented his pleasure.

“You, Albert, do not have to go through all the tiresome painful ordeals.”

Albert said that it was God's will, and that children had to be born as they were.

“Then I wish that He had given men a bigger share in it,” I retorted.

Albert was shocked by what he considered blasphemy, but I meant it.

When I told Lehzen she was horrified. “But it is
far
too soon. My precious one, you have only just recovered. Oh, this is too bad… this is thoughtlessness. This is putting too big a burden on my little one.”

She took a delight in blaming Albert; and such was my mood at the time that I let her go on.

I said, “I hated it. All those people in the next room, waiting…Oh, I know it is the custom in the case of a royal birth…”

“It's inhuman,” said Lehzen.

“I shall not allow it again.”

“And why should you?” asked Lehzen.

“I cannot bear it, Daisy,” I cried. “Not again. So soon.”

“There, my precious,” she soothed. But much as she felt for me she could not hide the fact that she was pleased because she believed I felt some resentment against Albert.

I was always so very disturbed to see this animosity between those two whom I loved.

T
HAT WAS A
sad year for me. During the months that followed I went through all the discomforts of pregnancy; but more than that, change was forced upon me and I had to face the fact that I was going to be deprived of one who was very important to me: my dear Lord M.

There was a conflict of loyalties. I had my ties with my foreign relations always in mind; and these were in constant opposition to the good of my country. Lord Palmerston was an arrogant man; I knew he was shrewd and very clever; he would have no interference in foreign affairs outside the government, which meant that my wishes were of no importance to him.

The trouble was the growing breach between France and England; and of course Uncle Leopold had strong ties with France, Aunt Louise being the daughter of Louis Philippe.

It was due to that old nuisance, Mehemet Ali. Palmerston wanted to crush him and so put an end to French domination in Egypt. Lord John Russell did not agree with Palmerston, which meant there was a division within the government itself. Lord Melbourne, in his usual way, wanted to let it alone and I begged him to override Palmerston and seek a peaceful settlement with France. But Palmerston was not the man to be overridden. He ordered the British fleet to take action and so forced Mehemet Ali to go back to his allegiance to the Sultan.

Palmerston was triumphant when he succeeded in this for it turned out that his calculations had been correct, and Louis Philippe was disinclined to take the offensive on behalf of his Egyptian ally. Instead he joined with the other states involved, who pledged themselves to maintain Turkey and Egypt in
status quo
.

Palmerston's bold—and successful—action was regarded with dismay by Uncle Leopold and the French, and a great coldness blew up between England and that country. Albert sided with Leopold and the French; and he made me see that I should take their side.

Meanwhile the government was growing weaker. The triumph abroad meant little to the people; it was home affairs that were of the utmost importance to them.

The blow came in May—the month of my twenty-second birthday.

The government's budget, which leaned toward free trade and reduced the tax on sugar, was defeated by a majority of thirty-six. Sir Robert Peel immediately called for a vote of no confidence in the government and he won. It was true by only one vote. But that was enough.

Albert was very grave. “This will mean an election,” he said.

“I pray the Whigs will succeed,” I replied fervently.

“I think, my love, that is most unlikely.”

“Oh Albert, I cannot bear to think of those terrible Tories in power.”

“My dearest, Sir Robert Peel is one of the finest statesmen in the country—I might say the finest.”

I hated those sly references to Lord Melbourne and I felt my anger rising.

“I cannot endure the man,” I said shortly.

“I think if you give him a chance you will change your mind. When
he came to see you he was aware of your animosity and that must have made him a little nervous. I think if you would set aside your dislike, you would get to know him very well.”

“How can one set aside one's dislikes!”

“By taking an unjaundiced view, by looking at the man as he is and not merely as the opponent of one whom you want to keep in office.”

“My dear Albert, you have no idea what I have suffered through that man. He wanted to turn out my bedchamber women. I cannot go through all that again…at this time…in my condition.”

Albert soothed me. “Come and sit down,
Liebchen
. I want to talk to you and I want you to listen carefully and promise not to be angry.”

“Angry… with you!”

He nodded. “I want you to know that everything I have done is for your good…to make you happy…to make life easy for you during these months that I know are trying for you.”

I lay against him. I loved to hear him talk like that.

“I know, dearest Albert, that you are so good to me. I have a hot temper. I am impulsive… and not always appreciative. But I do know … yes, I do, that you love me and that this love between us is the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“I believe that, too. My dear one, we have to face facts. There is going to be an election and the Tories are going to win.”

“How can you be so sure of that? I could not bear it.”

“It is almost a certainty. For a long time the government has been on the verge of collapse. It has come now.”

“Then the new Prime Minister will be Sir Robert Peel.”

Albert nodded.

“Albert, I cannot bear it. The trouble I had last time…I managed to get rid of them.”

“You managed postponement, but can you again? My dearest, you know that it is inevitable and it is for the country—not the Queen—to choose its government; and the country will choose the Tories.”

“To happen now … when I am in this state. It is too bad! There will be trouble about the household… just as there was before.”

“No,” said Albert.

“What do you mean?”

“I have arranged that there shall be no trouble.”

“Peel gave up last time because he could not remove my bedchamber ladies.”

Albert hesitated, took a deep breath and said, “I have made arrangements about that.”

“About my ladies?”

“My dearest, be calm. Remember, I think only of you. You must not excite yourself now. What has to be must be accepted.”

“If he brings in his Tory women, how foolish will I look? Being forced to obey my Prime Minister.”

“I have worked it so that this will not be the case.”

“But the ladies will have to go.”

“Yes… they will go, but they will resign…now.”

“They never would.”

“Yes, they will. The Duchess of Sutherland, the Duchess of Bedford and Lady Normanby will resign… before the election.”

I could not help but feel relieved. I dreaded another confrontation with Sir Robert Peel. I knew that he would not accept my entirely Whig household; and I knew, also, that I could not, without great humiliation, dismiss my Whig ladies and accept those with Tory leanings. I had dreaded the conflict … But if they resigned, that would be another matter.

“Albert, you have arranged this!”

“Thinking solely of you, my dearest. I understand perfectly your feelings and how, after what you had gone through before, you could not be subjected to the humiliation of accepting now what you would not previously. So …I have arranged this. The ladies are willing. They understand perfectly. They will resign, and when the government is formed, it will be a matter for you to discuss your new household with the Prime Minister. You could not, in all reasonableness, have an entirely Whig household as before. But you might have a sprinkling of Whig ladies.”

“You arranged all this! Oh …Albert!”

He said, “I was not going to have you disturbed. I would not have done this, but just now it is of particular importance.”

I was so grateful for all his care. I did not want to think of a change of government. I would lose my intimate relationship with Lord Melbourne, but now I had Albert, that would make a difference. It was not the same as it had been. Everything was different with Albert beside me.

“Oh dear, dear Albert, what should I do without you!”

He said modestly, “I did not bring this about on my own. I cannot take full credit. It was after many discussions with others… Anson, Stockmar…Lord Melbourne himself saw the wisdom of it.”

“He did not mention it to me.”

“We all thought it was wiser that you should not be upset until it was a
fait accompli
. The ladies are now ready to resign. They will do so before the result of the election is known. Sir Robert will be most understanding…as he has been all along; he would not add to your discomfort.”

“Do you mean that
he
knows of this?”

Albert hesitated for a second or so. “We thought it necessary to take him into our confidence. He is a most understanding…a most shrewd man. Believe me, he wants to make this transition as comfortable for you as he possibly can.”

I lay against Albert. I could sense his relief and how apprehensive he had been about telling me.

But he was right, of course. I realized that. I loved Lord Melbourne; he was my dear friend; I wanted his government to stay in power so that he could continue to be my adviser. But, of course, it must be the people who decided who should govern them.

I had to reconcile myself to change.

I could… with Albert beside me. And once more I thanked God for giving me such a husband.

W
HEN
L
ORD
M
ELBOURNE
came to me I felt very emotional.

I said, “Albert has talked to me. He has told me that you knew what he was doing.”

“I do not feel so badly about leaving you,” replied Lord M, “as I know you have such a worthy man beside you.”

“This is too sad for me to contemplate.”

“Change has to come and we have been warding this off for a very long time.”

“That man… that dancing master…in place of you!”

“Of course, Your Majesty is not in need of a dancing master, but, Ma'am, you are in need of good ministers, and I do assure you that Peel is one of the best.”