Vital (28 page)

I moved my head from side to side. “I have no choice but to go after her...I can’t just stay behind.”

He nodded. “I think...I think you’re already fighting with this devil, that the trial isn’t the moment of the ceremony – it’s already begun.”

“Everyone thinks I’m losing it, that I need rest,” I said under my breath, seeing that he could very well be right.

“I think you need rest - but no one thinks you’re crazy – I promise,” he said as he tried to smile.

“I don’t know how you’re handling this,” I said, lowering my eyes.

“I know you can feel my heartache, my grief and fear – but you must also feel the confidence that we
will
prevail. Evil never wins – at least not for long.”

I took in a deep breath.

“Something else is wrong,” he mumbled as his concerned eyes cascaded over me.

“It’s shallow compared to what you’re dealing with.”

“We are all one, Willow. Tell me. I need you to be focused so you can bring her home to me.”

I bit my bottom lip as my thoughts took me to random moments over the last few weeks. “Do you think...do you think Landen is changing?” I finally asked.

Confusion filled his innocent, boyish expression. “You both are.”

“No, not like that. Like...he seems...he seems more fierce to me.”

Chrispin let a vacant smile come to his lips as he adjusted his lean against the wall. “Listen, most travelers go out, face what they face, then come home and fall into the bliss of Chara. They never mix work with pleasure. This family is different...Landen is different...it’s one in the same for us, and the moments of bliss are becoming fleeting.”

“How is what travelers do not blissful? They bring soul mates together.”

His grin grew. “Parts of it are blissful. Do you honestly think that Marc and Ashten are naturally defensive? Protective? They’re not. A traveler has the most dangerous fate of all: they fight the storms in the string, they’re taken to worlds that are harsh, and sometimes they even find themselves in the wake of war. They have a vast knowledge of all mythology and lore, and they have to be prepared for anything at any time.”

“Nothing like this,” I said as I looked around the palace hallway.

“We all see our soul mates differently, and we tend to overlook the more brash personality traits. You and Landen may have dreamed of each other your entire life, but you’ve only been side by side for a few months. Landen is a warrior at heart. I’ve watched him fight with his father, with anyone who stands in the way of something he sets his mind to doing. Honestly, when he first found you, I was shocked at how calm he was - we all were. We’ve been waiting for him to come back to who he was: a man that doesn’t take no for an answer, who’s prepared to defend whomever is in his charge, even if it means death. He’s not changing; you’re just discovering more of who he is.”

“The dark side,” I mumbled, hoping Chrispin was right, that I was just learning more about him, that healing Drake hadn’t changed the peaceful soul I knew he was.

“We all have one, but seriously, I give him credit; he’s put up with a lot of stuff that you’ve helped him with. You give him caution, and that’s good because before we found you, I would almost call him reckless, traveling the most dangerous paths, daring to invoke change and deep thought in dimensions that are nowhere near ready for it. Marc used to tell me he was rebelling against Ashten, that Landen knew his limits. I think he was right because when it came time to use caution, you came into his life, gave him a reason to think twice before he walked fearlessly into the unknown.”

“Some might say I’ve done more harm than good,” I uttered quietly as I thought of the original fight I had with Clarissa when she told me that bringing me home was the worst thing Landen could have done; you always say what you really mean when you’re mad.

Chrispin smirked. “We all knew it was going to take someone on the edge to really love Landen, someone who showed no fear of change. He knew that, too. He’s fine, I promise - not even close to what he was before he found you.” His smirk vanished. “I don’t know if they taught you this about astrology, but your sun sign is who you are, your rising is who you were meant to be, and your mid-haven is who you will be. Landen isn’t the peaceful dreamer that a Pisces would lead you to believe; Aries is his rising. He was born for this; he’s acting completely normal.”

Hearing the truth in his words, I reached out to hug him. “I’ll bring her back,” I whispered.

I turned to walk back into the study. My dad had finished stitching Dane’s wound, and he was cleaning his face so he could put a bandage on it. Dane looked at me, and though I couldn’t feel it, I could see in his eyes that he felt outnumbered, unwanted - and that made my heart cry.

I walked over to his side and put my hand on his shoulder. “Maybe you should go to Pelhan’s. That’s where Clarissa is. You need to mend all of your wounds now that your alliances here have fallen.”

He eyes reflected anger. “Not all of them. I’m staying here.”

My father put the bandage across his wound, then handed him three pills. “This will take the pain away – from all of your injuries.”

Dane swallowed them whole without any water.

“Go find a place to rest; those pills will put you to sleep for a while,” my father warned.

Dane stood in protest and tried to cough them up without success. “You can’t get me to go home – so you’re putting me to sleep?!” he yelled, glaring across the room.

I felt an anger rise in my father. The emotion was so foreign in his soul, it caught me off guard. “Dane, rest. Stop this nonsense before you really get hurt,” my dad demanded, looking over his shoulder at Landen and Drake, who were leaning against the back of the couch.

I gritted my teeth, knowing my dad was right. They were just waiting for an excuse, and honestly, they already had one; I just wasn’t going to listen to them when they tried to convince me to use it. Dane shook his head, looked down at me, then walked to the doorway.

As he left, Ashten and August stepped in.

“What happened?” August asked as concern filled him.

“He’s just having a hard time finding balance,” I answered before anyone had a chance to say otherwise.

I felt the anxiety rise in the room; it was almost more than I could bear. I walked to the couch that faced the fireplace, trying to keep my head high and avoiding eye contact at the same time.

Landen followed me, and Drake took a seat next to Preston’s sleeping body, caressing his tiny face as he slept.

“How’s everything out there?” Landen asked, turning so he could see everyone in the room as he sat next to me.

“Not good,” August said. “I don’t think they believe us. They keep asking where you are.”

“Landen,” Alamos said, “you should walk the streets. The spies will be watching, wanting to know for sure if they have Willow,” Alamos said.

I turned to look behind me to judge Alamos’ expression.

Ashten spoke up. “He’s not going out there – are you insane? If they took Olivia, they’ll take him; we have too much at risk here.”

“You should all go with him,” Alamos said, looking at Ashten. “We still have no idea who’s on our side and who’s against us in the court. They aren’t after Landen; they believe Drake is Guardian...if anything, they fear Landen as the devil.”

I looked nervously at Landen; I knew he wanted to fool the spies, to find them – and destroy them.

I dare any of them to take me from you
,
he
thought, returning my stare.

I breathed in and fought back anger.
If you think it’s safe, I trust you
.

Landen looked at Drake. “Can you keep her safe while I’m gone?”

Drake glanced at me and said, “Yes.”

I looked at Landen, judging his emotion, trying to see if he heard truth in Drake’s answer. I felt his trust rise and his intent to leave me here.

“Alright,” Landen said, looking at Alamos, then his father. “Everyone comes with me. We’ll walk through the streets to the wall, talk to whoever wants to talk to me, then we’ll make sure everyone gets to Pelhan’s.”

“Landen,” Ashten said pleadingly. Landen looked sharply at his father. “We have to know who they are. We’re all at risk until we figure that out.”

Ashten gritted his teeth, holding back his argument, then nodded.

Landen leaned closer to me and tenderly kissed my lips.
I’ll be back soon. I love you.

Love you
,
I thought, pulling him closer.

Perodine came to the back of the couch where I was sitting. “We’ll keep her safe,” she promised Landen.

Landen glanced at Drake and nodded once. He then slowly let go of me and stood. I watched as they all left, then took a deep breath and turned to find Alamos staring at me.

Perodine put her arm on my shoulder. “You need to rest; you look weak.”

I turned forward and stared at the flames in the fire. “My father says rest isn’t what I need; he says I need to dream, and that’s something I can only do in Chara,” I said, relaxing into the couch as my anxiety of Landen being on the streets of Delen began to rush though my soul.

Perodine leaned over my shoulder and smiled slightly as she reached down for my medallion. “Fear no more,” she said, looking into my eyes. “I will always protect you. Rest.”

“I’m not tired,” I mumbled, looking away.

She sighed and calmly walked to Alamo’s side with the intent of finding a way of doing just that – protect me.

I began to stare at the flames, thinking they would hypnotize me enough to ‘rest’, or at least calm my nerves. I could feel Drake’s stare, and from the corner of my eye I could see him moving to my side. As he sat next to me, I looked into his mesmerizing, dark eyes and found alarm there.

“I don’t need anyone else to tell me I need rest,” I whispered.

He smiled slightly and moved closer to me. “Then I won’t tell you - I’ll ask you: will you let me protect you while you rest?”

My eyes questioned him.

“Nothing can hurt you while I’m near you. I’ve proven that in more than one life,” he whispered, leaning back and reaching for the pillow behind him, then laying it across his lap, catching my gaze again.

I did feel safe at his side, and my mind was tired. I slowly laid my head on the pillow and stared at the flames across the room, fighting the guilt of being at his side. A moment later, I felt his fingertips gently outlining my cheek. The hum of his skin was so warm, I closed my eyes and began to drift against my will.

Chapter Thirteen

At first, my dreams were absent. I could only barely hear the echoes of voices in my mind, the arguments and opinions of others that I could never find a way to completely agree with. Then my heart began to race, and I felt a warm, mesmerizing adrenaline course through me. I felt myself gasp, then felt an undeniable passion explode from my soul. The emotions caused me to feel strong arms holding me, and I felt lips kissing my warm skin - but when I opened my eyes slightly, the face in front of me wasn’t Landen; it was Drake...a sickening guilt absorbed me.

This dream was somewhere in time – when I belonged to him. The guilt caused me to push away from him in the dream.

The dream moved, and now I was watching myself somewhere further in the past. It was the dead of night, and I opened my window to let Drake pass through. The moment he reached me, I pulled him through, and we rolled to the ground. I could feel our emotions, the passion, the gratitude for the stolen moment – how sacred his touch was to me as his strong hands moved across every inch of my body. I let myself feel those emotions – not because I enjoyed them, but because I could feel Drake. I’d felt him in my dying moments, but never in a moment like this; he seemed so real, so passionate that it was almost heartbreaking. The dream took me away again, and I watched as countless times he held me – and I pulled him to me.

The seductive moments faded, then I saw why those moments were so precious to us. I watched him dress his flawless body in every uniform I could imagine. I watched him lead thousands into battle, stand before me and lay his life down. We always seemed to know that our moments alone were fleeting, and our passion not only for each other, but for the world around us made us cherish each other and live as if we would die at any moment.

I fell to my knees in my dream as my soul cried. It almost made sense. In my lives with Drake, I was willing to risk everything, fight until my dying breath. I knew that in this life - and I assumed in every life that I had with Landen - I wasn’t willing to live without him, that I’d rather use wisdom than strength. In a way, I thought I needed both now. I needed the wisdom and patience that Landen would give me, and I needed the fearless desire to lay my life down, the courage that Drake would give me - but it didn’t seem fair, not for everyone.

Drake’s image appeared next to me, and gently reached his hand down to help me up. I held his stare, unsure as to whether or not I was still dreaming.

“That was beautiful...passionate...but we can’t have that now...we can’t...”

In the dream, he pulled my lips to his and kissed me with a tender passion; somehow I held my guilt down for only a moment and kissed him back. Once the guilt refused to be suffocated any longer, I pulled away and looked down.