Vivid Lies (23 page)

"Brooklyn, stay with me," Miles begs. "Don't shut me out."

My heart cracks at his desperation.
 

"I love you," he says, full of conviction and passion. He looks at me the way I always wanted a man to. With unconditional and unwavering love. Adoration. Loyalty.
 

"I love you. Always. From the moment I saw you, I knew I would be with you forever. We belong together," he says, voice cracking with emotion.
 

It's everything I've ever needed or wanted but it came with a price. The unbreakable bond that has withstood a quarter of a century has cracked. It was weakened by the two men standing in this apartment.
 

"I need you two to leave, please." Another tear falls down my cheek.
 

Kane slowly backs out of the apartment. Miles drops his hands from my face. I see the hurt and defeat take over his whole body. My heart breaks that I am the one to do this to him. But the fear of losing the only person I ever loved completely has me shutting down. I do the thing I am best at.
 

I run.
 

And I hate myself for it.
 

London

"This isn't the safest place to leave your car, miss" the cab driver offers as we pull up next to my Jeep.
 

The marina is deserted, as it should be. I pay the man and thank him before getting out. The driver waits until I'm in the car and start it up before he finally pulls away. I smile at the stranger's concern over me.
 

I feel a pang of homesickness. Back home, everyone knew us. Everyone knew our names and our business. Most of the time it was annoying. Like the time that Brooklyn got her first hickey, or when I crashed my bike down by the river. People talked.
 

But there were moments when it felt like someone, other than Miles's mom, actually cared. Mrs. Walker was there whenever we needed a parent figure in our life. She walked us through puberty and our teenage years. I feel guilty when I think about leaving her behind.
 

I don't know how long I drive around aimlessly but I eventually find myself back at the apartment. I pause with my key in the lock. I don't want to go inside. I'll either be alone or forced to face the awkwardness with Brooklyn. I know I can't tell her one more lie. Next question she asks, I'll crack and spill every truth I haven't told her.
 

I'll tell her how I slept with Kane even though she liked him enough to push him away. I'll admit that I feel betrayed that she and Miles have a different relationship with each other than I do with him. I would even tell her that, every day, I worry that we will never find ourselves. My fear is that we really are lost if we aren't desperately trying to balance each other out. I will cry when I tell her that I will never be the person I wish to be.
 

I pull the key away and slip it in my back pocket. I glance down the hall to Kane's door. My feet have me standing in front of it without thought and then I'm knocking. The door swings open and Kane is standing there, shirtless with his jeans hanging low.
 

"London," he breathes.
 

"Can I come in?" I ask, trying hard not to stare at his wide chest.
 

"Of course."

Kane ushers me with a hand on my lower back. I turn around to speak but my words are swallowed up when he takes my mouth in a hard kiss. My hands land on his tight stomach and I spread my fingers over the warm skin.
 

Kane holds the back of my head as he deepens the kiss. His tongue tastes tentatively, like he doesn't want to miss anything. His lips move against mine gently and I moan softly. He's kissing me like he hasn't seen me in days, or even weeks. He's kissing me like he thought he would never see me again.
 

This isn't a kiss of lust. There's a hint of something else mixed in but I can't identify it. His phone rings but he ignores it. We finally break apart when I sway on my feet and he needs to steady me.

"I'm glad you came," he says, his words brushing over my lips.
 

"Me too."
 

His phone rings again and Kane brushes my hair out of my face, looking down at me.
 

"You gonna get that?" I ask.

He sighs and gives me another quick kiss on the forehead.
 

"Wait here. I'll be right back."

Kane grabs his phone and a shirt before slipping out to the hall to take the phone call. I hear his muffled voice outside.

His apartment is scarce like the last time I saw it, but it's missing the coffee table. I cringe when I remember why it's no longer there. I walk over to his desk because it seems to be the only area he uses in the apartment. There are books, papers, and a camera spread out around the computer. A photograph of him with his family sits in a frame in the corner of the mess.
 

I pick it up and smile remembering his family and the way they loved Amanda like she was one of their own. I put it down, bitter that I may never have that. If I were to get married, would I have someone to give me away? When I put the frame down, my eye is caught by something familiar. Something I have seen so many times in my years growing up that I immediately recognize the piece of paper just from a few letters in the top corner.
 

I slide the check out from under the pages and read the name and address in the corner over and over again.
 

Melinda Walker.
 

Miles's mom wrote us checks over the years. For utilities once they got turned off. School field trips. I would recognize the designs of apple pies and red checkered print anywhere. Without a doubt, I'm holding a check that Mrs. Walker made out to Kane for five hundred dollars.
 

Was Kane was investigating us this whole time? Why else would he be receiving a check from her? Is that the reason he pursued me? Or Brooklyn first? All those questions he asked made me think he might actually care but he was digging for info. We were just a job to him.
 

My fingers let go and the check floats down, landing softly on the desk. A tremble starts in my knees and takes over my whole body. The laptop screen is bright with his messenger up on the screen. I know I shouldn't look. I know that it will wreck me just like seeing the check did, but I lean over and read them anyways.
 

I haven't found them yet.
 

It's been weeks. It's important I find them right away.

The number is from a Tennessee area code. If this is Mrs. Walker, why would Kane lie to her?

Maybe your son lied to you and they aren't in Florida at all. Maybe you should be talking to him, not me. I understand if you would like a refund.
 

My head is spinning and I grip the table to keep my balance.
 

I'm calling you.
 

That was only minutes ago. My heart is pounding as I look to the door where Kane is probably out there talking to Miles's mom. She's looking for us and I'm just feet away from the person she in on the phone with.
 

I knew she was the reason Miles wanted us to go home. He called her often but was vague on where we lived exactly. We didn't want our dad to ever be able to track us down.
 

I understand now why Brooklyn doesn't let anyone in. This hurts. I rub over my chest where my heart aches. The lies didn't just sit between my sister and me.
   

I hear muffled voices in the hall as Kane argues. He's no longer on the phone as another deep voice joins his.
 

"She's not here," Kane says. The lies never stop.

"Find her." Miles.
 

"You sound like your mother," Kane throws back. "Tell me what the fuck is going on."

My head pounds. I want to run, but Kane and Miles are on the other side of the door. Another wave of dizziness and I hold the edge of the desk. Tears form and I open my eyes.
 

I wished I hadn't.

I should have run when I had the chance.
 

Articles and photographs are scattered on the workspace proving Kane did find us after all. He has high school photos, mugshots of my dad, and year book photos.
 

I pick up a printed news story. I read it. I read it again. And again.
 

"Why does it seem like she doesn't know?" Kane hisses outside, trying to be quiet but failing.
 

I don't believe what I'm reading. A photo glares back at me and the air leaves my lungs.
 

"You don't know what you're talking about. Let me see her."

A strangled cry fills the room. It must be from me but I feel like I've left my body. My heart has stopped. My blood has frozen in my veins. My lungs don't expand to inhale.
 

The noise outside the door doesn't matter as I look at the other articles and photos on the desk.
 

"No. No. No," I mutter to myself, dropping all the pages to the floor.
 

I can't believe what I'm looking at, but somewhere, deep in my broken heart, I know it's true. Surrounded by secrets and lies, I can find the truth in this.
 

The door swings open and both men look at me in shock. Miles approaches me like I'm a wild animal.
 

"London?"

I scream. It's manic and loud. It rips from inside me, tearing up my throat on the way out. The guys jump and I see the pity in their eyes.
 

"No. No. No," I keep repeating.
 

It can't be true. I finally do run like I should have long ago. In my frenzy and their shock, I get past them and out the door. I sprint down the hall with a speed I didn't know I possessed. Kane and Miles are yelling for me to stop. Miles is pleading with me, begging me to come back.
 

I don't look back as I take the stairs down to the garage. The tires squeal as I punch the gas and reverse out of the spot. Miles and Kane try to stop me but I swerve around them. I can't trust them to tell me the truth. They both have been lying to me all this time. I feel so betrayed, I don't know who to believe anymore. I need to see it for myself.
 

The interstate is clear as I recklessly speed down it. I ignore the drizzle hitting the windshield. I don't know if a hurricane could deter my path now. The five-hour drive goes by in a blur. I'm shaking and feel like I'm going to vomit by the time I see the familiar sign for my hometown. I speed down the quiet streets. It's a miracle that I make it alive to my old home.
 

A miracle is the last word I should use to describe my homecoming.
 

Tragedy would be more fitting.
 

I pull into my driveway, feeling numb and wrecked at the same time. I step out into the rain, and the cold raindrops try to pull me from this nightmare. I walk toward my home, praying Brooklyn will crawl into bed with me any moment and wake me up. I need to press my hand to hers so I know I will be okay.
 

I fall to my knees as a flash of lightning lights up the sky. My body trembles. From the cold. From the sorrow. From the insanity of it all.
 

"London. Baby, talk to me." Kane is next to me, trying to help me up. He holds my chin, trying to see into my lifeless eyes.
 

I don't know how long I've been standing here, but I'm soaked and shivering.
 

"London! Get up," Miles shouts to me even though he is right next to me.
 

Everything sounds muted. Miles grabs my other arm but my knees give out. The rain pours down on me so hard that I can't tell the difference between it and the tears on my face.
 

I stare ahead and images assault my memory. I grip my head in pain as they wash over me. Each one more painful than the last. I pull at my hair as the thunder drowns out my cries.
 

Kane tries to pull me to my feet, but I fight him. I pound on his chest and scream. Breaking from his hold, I run for the house I was born and lived in my entire life. The home that holds every memory of my two-person family.
 

A bolt of lightning fills the sky. It lights up the pile of ash and coal where my home once stood.
 

Through the thunder and pounding rain, my pained voice carries on the blowing wind.
 

"Whose body was it? Who am I?"
 

Brooklyn

Three Months Earlier.
 

Most animals can sense danger. Humans are still animals even though we like to think we don't act like it. I can sense danger now. I feel like the electricity in the air before a summer storm. It's thick in the air, wrapping around my throat and making it hard to breathe.