Vivid Lies (8 page)

Miles knows I don't do commitment or relationships. A kiss is just a kiss and sex is just sex. I don't need unconditional love. I already have that. No man will be able to give that to me. My father couldn’t either, so I found it in my other half. That's just fine with me and always has been.
 

"Want to go for a run?" I ask. I'm exhausted but we both have something we need to burn off. We used to run every other morning back home since middle school.
 

One nod is all it takes and I rush to my room and change. I throw my hair up as I meet Miles in the living room and without talking, we head out to the streets.
 

I let the sound of our feet hitting the pavement drown out all thoughts. I don't worry about my dad's condition or how we pay the bills. I don't think about the dancing or even Kane. I even ignore the aches and pains in my body as I push it too hard. I watch as the streets go by and take it in. I let it all paint itself over the memories of home as I make new memories.
 

London

This is the first time I've had the car on a weekend, so I plan to use it. Brooklyn isn't dancing tonight, so I decide to go see Miles and his band. Back home, he was in a local band and we never missed a gig. Since moving to Florida, I haven't seen a show. I haven't even met the bandmates.
 

"You look hot. Stop messing with your hair," Brooklyn snaps from behind me. I meet her eyes in the mirror.

"You sure? I don't want to look like I'm trying too hard."

She rolls her eyes and I laugh at the irony of the situation. She's in yoga pants and a tank top without a scratch of makeup. My hair has been curled so I have light waves, my eyes are dark and smoky, and I'm even wearing heels. We reversed roles. I never look better than her.
 

"You don't need to try London. Don't touch your hair again or it's gonna fall flat."

I leave the bathroom before I can fuss anymore. It's rare I take the time to do my hair and get dressed up. Brooklyn gets to play dress-up every night, so I should take her advice.
 

"You have food right? You need anything?"
 

"Jesus, London. I am a grown-up. I'll be fine," my sister says as she all but shoves me out the door.
 

"Okay. Call me if you need me!"

I'm on the way to the elevator when the doors slide open. Kane comes out, groceries in hand. He slows when he sees me approaching. I can't help but smile back when his lips slowly pull up into a grin.

"You look hot. Heading out?" he asks when I'm in front of him. "Or heading to work?"

"Out. I'm a photographer. I don't work nights," I tell him, trying not to laugh at the embarrassed look that crosses his face briefly.
 

"London," he says with a nod. My name rolls off his tongue easily and I love the way it sounds with his deep voice.
 

"You're catching on."
 

"It's not really fair to the rest of us. There are two of you beauties walking around. The weaker men don't stand a chance."

I blush at his words and move past him to hit the button for the elevator. I learned the hard way to avoid guys who think we are both attractive, which is impossible in reality since we are identical. So basically, I avoid guys in general.
 

"What does that make you? Are you a weaker man, or stronger?" I tease over my shoulder.
 

His eyes darken as they travel over my body. I shiver even though the hallway is humid and warmer than outside.
 

"I'm not sure yet."

"Let's hope you don't have to find out."

The elevator doors open and I wave quickly before slipping outside. When they close and I can't see him anymore, I take a deep breath. Kane has an intensity that makes me uneasy. I feel like I could be swallowed easily by his looks alone.
 

I'm not equipped for men like Kane. He's cynical, sexy, and powerful. There's something about him that screams damaged. Brooklyn is the one who can handle a man like that. She loves trouble. I can't even handle the looks he gives me in the hall that probably mean nothing.
 

I find the Sand Bar easily and pay my cover charge. Walking inside, I feel a rush of excitement. Everyone around me is happy and dancing around. Loud laughter and talking mingles with the soft sounds of the band warming up. The room is lit with randomly colored light bulbs scattered in the ceiling. I love the way the colors are dancing across the people as they move. Old street signs cover the walls.

"London?" Miles calls for me. His grin is wide as he jumps off the stage to meet me. "You really came!"

I'm swept off my feet and spun around as he hugs me tightly. His chest muffles the sound of my surprised squeals when he squeezes me like we haven't seen each other in years instead of just days.

"Of course I came," I say once I'm back on my feet. "I'm sorry it took so long."

"Never apologize to me," Miles says, his face growing serious.
 

I swallow and nod because as much as I want to apologize for failing in my best friend duties, I don't want to ruin tonight. We can surely fall back into the easy friendship we have.
 

"Come, meet the band."

He pulls me by the hand through the crowd. It's not packed but there are still a lot of people. It's mostly a younger crowd, probably students from the nearby college.
 

"Guys, this is London. London, this is Braxton, our drummer."
 

Braxton smiles warmly at me. He's a huge guy. He looks like he belongs on a football field rather than a stage. His chest is as wide as two of me put together, and his large hands make the drumsticks look tiny in them. He looks ready to smash anyone that gets in his way, but I feel like he's just a big softie inside. I instantly like him.
 

"This is Trent, our bass player, and Jax on the keyboard and backup vocals."

I look over at the two guys who are obviously checking me out. They both look like they are players with blond hair perfectly styled and bright blue eyes. They are too pretty to be my type. Trent winks at me and I don't miss the middle finger Miles gives him.
 

"Hey," I say with a wave. "Nice to finally meet you guys."

"And this is Leslie, Braxton's girl."

I turn to the beautiful blonde who suddenly appears beside us. She's wearing a short floral sundress and strappy sandals. She's a mixture of punk and hippie with the purple and blue streaks running through the loose braid that falls over one shoulder. Bright blue eyes with long lashes take up most of her face.
 

Leslie eyes me suspiciously for a second. I shift on my feet, uneasy with her judging. What is she looking for? I'm not the talkative and social one. Usually Brooklyn makes the friends for us.
 

"Hey, I'm London," I say just to break the weird silence.
 

Leslie must find something in me she must like, because her pursed lips break into a smile.
 

"Finally, another set of boobs I can talk to," she shouts and pulls me into a side hug. "I swear I'm stuck with these boys so much, I am gonna start burping loudly and scratching my private parts in public."

"That's a wonderful image, Les," Miles says as the guys laugh.
 

I laugh and the pressure on my chest lifts. I've been avoiding this night for so long, it's good to finally get it over with and it's not so bad. Leslie bounces up on the stage to give Braxton a quick kiss on the lips. She looks so tiny wrapped in the giant's arms, but they look perfect together to me.
 

"I wish I'd have brought my camera," I tell Miles.
 

Looking around the bar, I see so many things I wish I could freeze and make permanent. A couple kissing on stage. The bartender leaning over and flirting with a customer. A pair of girls watching a guy as he talks to his friends. They’re simple interactions and moments that go unnoticed to everyone else but me.
 

"Next time," he says in my ear. "I go on soon. Don't go anywhere, okay?"

"Nowhere."

Miles leans in and my heart starts to race when I think he's going to kiss me. Right here. In front of a ton of strangers. Then the awkward moment after will be the real show tonight.
 

His lips land on my cheek, lingering for a long moment. It's both simple and chaste, but heats my skin anyway. This light contact from Miles is just as meaningful as if he pulled me in for a heated make out session.

"Be right back, babe."

I watch as he climbs up on stage and grabs his guitar. He looks at home up there under the green and blue spotlights. All this time, I thought he was out of place in Florida, but that's because I never saw him at home. Some of the guilt for making him move down here fades away. He could start over with us.
 

"First show?" Leslie asks as she hooks her arm with mine. We stand front row in the center, like we own the band.
 

"Since we moved here. I never missed a show back home with the old band."

"Miles is good. Just what they needed. We are all glad he showed up when he did."

Miles strums the first few notes and the voices in the room fade away. It's a new song for me but it feels familiar, and that pride and love I would always feel comes back to me. The band plays their first song, Leslie singing along quietly beside me.
 

I've never been to this bar. I've never met these people. I've never heard this song before. But it feels like I have stood here a thousand times, watching Miles sing and play his guitar. No matter what, that's my best friend's essence pouring out up there. And that's something I know.
 

For the next half hour, Leslie and I soak up the music. We have a few drinks and I fall a little in love with her. Miles's voice fills the room and for a while, I forget where I am. I forget that I'm in Florida and why we moved here. The constant worries about my dad and sister dull in my mind. I am just me in this moment. It's perfect.

The guys announce they are taking a break, and Miles jumps down in front of me.
 

"What did you think?" he asks. His smile is wide but his eyes look nervous.

"It was amazing. The songs were amazing."

He looks proud and beams down at me. There's a light sheen of sweat on his forehead and his hair is damp, but he looks good. I'm stuck staring up into his eyes as they reflect the red and orange lights that are flashing above us.

"London," he says almost so low I don't hear it.
 

"Miles."

He steps closer and I can feel the heat coming off his chest. There's only about an inch between us. I can smell the mixture of soap and smoke from the one cigarette he has before every gig. I feel a flutter of nerves when his face lowers to mine. I lick my lips and his gaze snaps to them.
 

"I'm going to kiss you again."

He doesn't give me an option to respond. His fingers weave into my hair and he pulls me in, taking my lips softly. It's so soft it almost tickles. Among the thousands of thoughts assaulting my mind, I battle between wanting more and wanting less.
 

He gives me more. Miles wraps his other hand around me and pulls me flush against him. His tongue eases my lips open and slips inside. I can taste the smoke and mint on him. It's so familiar and at the same time, I feel like I'm tasting something I shouldn't be. Like this side of Miles isn't meant for me to have.
 

I pull back, gasping for air. I feel lightheaded but I'm wrapped in Miles's arms. He won't let me fall.

"Fuck, London," he whispers against my mouth. "Always pulling away."

My eyes water as I ease out of his arms. Miles sighs and stares up at the ceiling, frustration evident all over him.
 

"I'm sorry," I say.
 

"Quit saying that, London."

"I don't want to lose you as a friend."

"You'll never lose me," he says, pulling me back into his arms desperately.
 

"I can't . . . ever. What would Brooklyn think?"
 

His body goes tense and his grip tightens.

"Why does it matter what Brooklyn thinks?"
 

I swallow and look up into his eyes. He's looking at me like my next words are important. Like the next few moments could change everything.

"I saw you guys that night. By the tree house."

His arms drop and he closes his eyes. I never meant to mention it to either of them. If they wanted me to know, they would have told me. Brooklyn never keeps anything from me. Until that moment that they kissed in the backyard. While the storm rolled in and I shook with fear, they gave into to something that was always there.
 

I can't pretend it didn't happen. I wasn't hurt or mad. What hurt was the weeks rolling by and no one telling me. Kissing Miles now makes me feel guilty because of lies that are not even mine.