Vivid Temptation (Touched By You) (12 page)

She is my life. I don’t want to live if she isn’t with me. If she…dies, I’ll die with her. Even if my body still breathes, I’ll be the living dead. This world holds nothing for me if she isn’t a part of it. I’ve been so stupid, so blind.
Always jealous, worrying, fearing.

I should have spent every second with her, sharing the joy she gave, to me, to everyone. Now, she might be gone. I can’t even think of that. It can’t be true. She will make it. Natalie has to make it. She will. She must.

Where is Gene? Maybe he found something out?

Tanner paced down the hall and back many times, not knowing what to do. Wisely, the family left him alone, there if he needed them, but letting him work through this. They were as concerned as he was. There was nothing to do but wait. Suffer and wait. He only hoped Natalie wasn’t suffering; that in her tranquil state she felt no pain.

Gene reappeared and motioned to Tanner.

“What did you learn?”

“Probably the same thing the doctor told you. It’s a virus, and can be deadly. Or if not, have very damaging effects.”

Tanner sighed heavily and fell into a nearby chair.

“Gene, I forgot to ask the doctor something.”

“What’s that?”

“We’ve wanted to have a baby, and Natalie could be pregnant? What if she is?”

“No, Tanner. She’s not. The blood tests would have shown that. Your wife is not pregnant. There’s no need for worry about that.”

“Thank God. It’s all I can do, dealing with this. The thought of a baby, our baby…”

“Yes, yes, I know. It’s okay.”

“She has to recover, Gene. She just has to.”

Gene patted him on the back. “Yes, I hope so. Natalie is young. She’s strong and healthy. That will give her a greater chance to fight this.”

“Let’s hope it’s enough.” Tanner bent forward, covering his face in his hands. Then he leaned back and stood up. “I have to see her. I need to be with her.”

Gene nodded, and Tanner vanished through the swinging doors on his way to do the only thing he could for the woman he loved—be there.

Days went by in a blur. Tanner refused to leave the hospital, and Andre brought fresh clothes from home. The family took shifts, some going home to sleep while others waited vigilantly. Natalie received the best care that could be provided, but it did little that Tanner could see.

All his money and influence could do nothing against the microscopic enemy taking his wife from him, hour by hour. Tanner alternated between sitting next to her and pacing the tiny private room. He used the facilities there, refusing to leave the room. Food was brought in, but he had no appetite. The nurse made him drink water. She wouldn’t hear of having another patient on her hands. He had to take care of himself. His wife was going to need him.

Tanner reclined in an uncomfortable chair to get what little sleep his weary, anxious body found. Awake most of the time, dark circles showed under his eyes and he lost some weight. Andre ordered him to shave, and the only reason Tanner complied was so that he would look his best when Natalie woke up. And she would wake up. He tried to convince himself of that, but found no reassurance from the doctors, who remained non-committal.

The nurse opened the blinds during the day, letting sunshine in. But for Tanner, the day blended with the night, in a non-stop parade of nurses, visitors, and Natalie unconscious in the unfriendly hospital bed. Her skin looked like porcelain from lack of sunlight, and with her dark hair wild around her face, he thought of Sleeping Beauty.

She was a beauty. In his traumatized state, Tanner actually thought of kissing her to wake her up. Like in a fairytale, he would be the prince that saved her. Surely he was losing his mind. Whatever sanity he clung to was there only because there was still hope. As long as Natalie breathed, there was a chance of recovery.

Countless days passed. Tanner let business go. He didn’t care. He waved away Andre if he mentioned anyone from the office trying to contact him. Nothing would take him from Natalie. Nothing else mattered.

Tanner held her hand and looked at her, small and delicate in the huge bed. His heart hurt like it was in a vise and some unseen hand wrenched it tighter. He stood and leaned over her, feeling her breath on his lips, grateful that she was breathing, still breathing. Gently, he kissed her lips. They were soft and a little cold, but so sweet.

For a second, Tanner thought he saw her eyelids flutter. Surely he was imagining it. With his face only inches from hers, looking at Natalie’s closed eyes, Tanner kept very still. He tried to tell if anything was different, if she was moving—at all.

There it was again. A barely perceptible flutter of the eyelids. Adrenaline flooded his veins. His heart beat hard, and he felt a little giddy. Instinctively, he reached for the control hanging over the bed rail and pressed it to call the nurse.

“Natalie…baby…”

Miraculously, her eyes opened. Natalie looked at him blankly.

Tanner stared at her. Did she know him, recognize him?

“It’s me, baby. I’m here. Tanner.”

Natalie didn’t speak, but a tiny smile curved her lips. Then her eyes closed.

“No, honey. Don’t leave. Stay with me.”

Natalie squeezed his hand, just barely. She had no strength at all, but he felt it. She was alive. His wife was alive.

*****

Although out of the coma, Natalie had a long way to go. Weakened by her condition, she spoke in a whisper at first. The doctor had been there, done his examination, and left her to rest. Tanner took his usual seat beside the bed.

Holding her hand in both of his, Tanner pressed warmth into her, life into her. The magnitude of the relief he felt knowing she was alive was like the exuberance of childhood all over again. Life seemed fresh, possible. Air was worth breathing, and each day was a new chance. Natalie was with him. It was going to be good. Their life together would be wonderful; he’d be sure of that.

Natalie whispered, and Tanner leaned closer to hear her. “I had this dream. You were there. I was drifting, lost in a fog, but you were always there. No matter where I was, you found me. And I could hear you. You said ‘Fight this. Be strong. I’ll always love you.’”

Tears rolled down Tanner’s cheeks. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t care.

“And I did fight. I didn’t know what I was fighting. I wasn’t sure. But I fought to come back. I struggled to return to you. I just wanted to be with you, always.”

Tanner hugged her tightly. “You are, baby. We are together. You made it. You’ve been very sick. But you are going to be okay. I’m here.” Natalie felt so frail in his arms, but she felt alive, so alive. And they were together.

It was weeks before Natalie regained much strength. The extended illness had drained her. Slender to begin with, she’d lost more weight in the hospital. But Tanner finally got to bring her home. He hired an onsite nurse, wanting her to have the best of care.

All the follow-up visits to the doctor were promising. There were no signs of permanent damage. Still the doctors waited before giving her a clean bill of health. Complications didn’t always show up right away. But, eventually, they pronounced her recovered.

Natalie had no memory issues and no paralysis. She’d scared Tanner half to death by going into a coma, but other than that, there were no bad effects. Against all odds, Natalie was healthy, and glad to see her husband happy once again.

They’d both grilled the doctor about pregnancy, wanting to know if any extra precautions should be taken. The doctor gave assurance that Natalie could get pregnant safely. The illness, if it affected anything at all, would affect only her nervous system. It would not affect her baby.

Tanner felt as though they’d been given a new life. Natalie grew stronger; her healthy diet and exercise was a good support for recovery. By the end of summer, there was no evidence the disease had ever been there. She resumed yoga and went back to work. Her husband commented on the glow in her cheeks and how her curves had filled out again.

Natalie smiled, thinking of their time together. The playroom had been an even greater attraction since her recovery. Tanner loved her so much, and showed her how much at every opportunity. She felt so lucky, and so in love.

Tanner was back to work, and Natalie took on the project of putting the finishing touches on their home in the country in between designing fashions for the coming spring. The furniture was in place so she coordinated with the decorator on the final arrangement and accents.

One Saturday, she took Tanner with her to show him the finished home and spend some time out of the city. She enjoyed the surrounding wooded area; it gave her a sense of space and nature. She strolled down a narrow path holding Tanner’s hand. The day was warm and they stopped at one of the ponds to breathe in the fresh air.

Tall trees surrounded them and rays of sunlight streamed through the leaves, glinting off the calm water. Tanner sat on a flat bolder and pulled Natalie onto his lap. She leaned her head against his cheek while he ran his fingers down her arm. Kissing his neck, Natalie’s heart filled with love, the never ending love that consumed her.

“You know, baby, I was terrified when you got sick,” Tanner said.

“Yes, I know.”

“I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“I’m here. I’m okay now.”

Tanner kissed the top of her head and hugged her tighter. “You scared me.”

“I wish you didn’t have to go through that.”

“At the time, I kept thinking, I can’t live without you. But what tore me up more than anything was seeing you like that. I can’t stand to see you sick or hurting. I wish it would have been me. Easily, I would have traded.

“You are the joy of my life. It took me so long to tell you how I felt. I loved you from the first moment I saw you. Some would say that love at first sight can’t happen. But it did for me.”

“You’ve always been the only man for me,” Natalie said. “And when I got sick, I panicked. So much of the time when I was in the coma is lost to me. It’s like a big time warp, just gone.

“But when I was on the sofa, before I passed out, I knew something was terribly wrong. It’s an awful feeling to be hit with something so devastating you can’t fight against it. I thought it was over. I mean…it crossed my mind.

“Then when I was in the hospital, my awareness was like a dream. I don’t know if I perceived anything real or whether it was all a dream. But I know you never left my heart. Even when I couldn’t speak or even open my eyes, I had the feeling of you.

“It’s hard to describe. I’ve never experienced anything like it. It was like you never left me; you were always there. And deep inside I felt you; it saved me.”

Tanner stroked her jaw. “To see you now, your cheeks flushed with color, your lovely brown eyes glowing with life, it lets me know you are okay now. You are with me. We are together. And that’s everything.

“When you were nearly lost to me, it made me realize the folly of my ways. So often I thought things were important that weren’t.
The jealousy, the fears. Being with you is all that matters.”

“I don’t regret a single moment with you,” Natalie said, tears of joy welling in her eyes. “Every second is precious to me. I knew, right from the start, that you are a good man.
And the one for me. The ups and downs, the fears, jealousy, intimacy, it’s all part of us, of life. Our life together.

“I love you so much, Tanner, that sometimes I think my heart will break.”

Tanner leaned closer, his mouth so close his breath grazed her lips. “I’ll love you forever,” he whispered and then kissed her deeply, conveying all the emotion that words alone couldn’t. The kiss was hot, loving, sexy, and something more. That indefinable something that only lovers feel; something that cannot be described, only experienced.

*****

Before the cold weather, they flew to London and drove out to the cottage that held many special memories. It was just as romantic as ever. Tanner played the piano and filled the room with flowers, just as he had before. The countryside was lovely and pleasantly warm. They strolled together and sat in the sun, chatting and remembering. They even stood in the exact spot where Tanner had proposed and looked up at the sky, almost expecting to see the fireworks like before.

In the quiet solitude of the remote cottage, they made love, during the day and at night—any time they wanted to. And they wanted to a lot. It was sweet and sexy and memorable. The stay in the English countryside was like a second honeymoon.

Well, that is, if their first one had ever been over. Being with Tanner was like a honeymoon every day. Natalie knew she’d never get enough of him, not if they were together for a thousand years. As they stood on the porch, looking out at the pastoral setting, she marveled at how gorgeous and wonderful her husband was.

In the early morning sunlight, his thick, dark hair shone and the auburn highlights gleamed. His chiseled body stirred feelings inside her. Looking at his muscled chest and strong shoulders, she felt safe, loved. He was handsome, so much so that he was impossible to resist. Tanner turned and looked at her, his beautiful blue eyes sparkling.