Volpone and Other Plays (14 page)

CORVINO
: I pray thee give me leave.

[
Walks aside, talking to himself
]

  If any man

But I had had this luck – The thing in 't self,

70        I know, is nothing – Wherefore should not I

As well command my blood and my affections

As this dull doctor? In the point of honour

The cases are all one of wife and daughter.

MOSCA
[
aside
]: I hear him coming.

CORVINO
:                                              She shall do 't, 'Tis done.

'Slight, if this doctor,
who is not engaged
,

Unless 't be for his counsel, which is nothing,

Offer his daughter, what should I that am

So deeply in? I will prevent him. Wretch!

Covetous wretch! – Mosca, I have determined.

MOSCA
: How, sir?

80   
CORVINO
:               We'll make all sure. The party you wot of

Shall be mine own wife, Mosca.

MOSCA
:                                              Sir, the thing,

But that I would not seem to counsel you,

I should have motioned to you at the first.

And
make your count
, you have cut all their throats.

Why, 'tis directly taking a possession!

And in his next fit, we may let him go.

'Tis but to pull the pillow from his head,

And he is throttled; 't had been done before

But for your scrupulous doubts.

CORVINO
:                                              Ay, a plague on 't,

90        My conscience fools my wit! Well, I'll be brief,

And so be thou, lest they should be before us.

Go home, prepare him, tell him with what zeal

And willingness I do it; swear it was

On the first hearing, as thou mayst do, truly,

Mine own free motion.

MOSCA
:                                  Sir, I warrant you,

I'll so possess him with it that the rest

Of his starved clients shall be banished all;

And only you received. But come not, sir,

Until I send, for I have something else

100      To ripen for your good, you must not know 't.

CORVINO
: But do not you forget to send now.

MOSCA
:                                                                    Fear not.

[
Exit
MOSCA
.]

II, vii      [
CORVINO
:] Where are you, wife? My Celia? wife?

             [
Enter
CELIA
,
weeping
.]

 What, blubbering?

Come, dry those tears. I think thou thought'st me in earnest?

Ha? by this light I talked so but to try thee.

Methinks the lightness of the occasion

Should ha'confirmed thee. Come, I am not jealous.

CELIA
: No?

CORVINO
: Faith I am not, I, nor never was;

It is a poor unprofitable humour.

Do not I know if women have a will

They'll do 'gainst all the watches o'the world?

10         And that the fiercest spies are tamed with gold?

Tut, I am confident in thee, thou shalt see 't;

And see, I'll give thee cause, too, to believe it.

Come, kiss me. Go, and make thee ready straight

In all thy best attire, thy choicest jewels,

Put 'em all on, and, with 'em, thy best looks.

We are invited to a solemn feast

At old Volpone's, where it shall appear

How far I am free from jealousy or fear.

[
Exeunt
.]

         [
A street
.]

         [
Enter
MOSCA
.]

[MOSCA:] I fear I shall begin to grow in love

With my dear self and my most prosp'rous parts,

They do so spring and burgeon; I can feel

A whimsy i'my blood. I know not how,

Success hath made me wanton. I could skip

Out of my skin now, like a subtle snake,

I am so limber. O! your parasite

Is a most precious thing, dropped from above,

Not bred 'mongst clods and clodpolls, here on earth.

10        I muse
the mystery was not made a science,

It is so
liberally professed!
Almost

All the wise world is little else in nature

But parasites or sub-parasites. And yet,

I mean not those that have your bare
town-art
,

To know who's fit to feed 'em; have no house,

No family, no care, and therefore mould

Tales for men's ears, to bait that sense; or get

Kitchen-invention
, and some stale receipts

To please the belly, and
the groin;
nor those,

20       With their court-dog tricks, that can fawn and
fleer
,

Make their revènue out of
legs and faces
,

Echo my lord, and lick away a moth.

But your fine, elegant rascal, that can rise

And stoop, almost together, like an arrow;

Shoot through the air as nimbly as a star;

Turn short as doth a swallow; and be here,

And there, and here, and yonder, all at once;

^{Present to any humour, all occasion;}

And
^{change a visor}
swifter than a thought,

30        This is the creature had the art born with him;

Toils not to learn it, but doth practise it

Out of most excellent nature: and such sparks

Are the true parasites, others but their zanies.

III, ii          [
Enter
BONARIO
.]

[
MOSCA
:] Who's this? Bonario? Old Corbaccio's son?

The person I was bound to seek. Fair sir,

You are happ'ly met.

BONARIO
:                        That cannot be by thee.

MOSCA
: Why, sir?

BONABIO
:               Nay, pray thee know thy way and leave me:

I would be loath to interchange discourse

With such a mate as thou art.

MOSCA
:                                              Courteous sir,

Scorn not my poverty.

BONARIO
:                        Not I, by heaven;

But thou shalt give me leave to hate thy baseness.

MOSCA
: Baseness?

BONARIO
:                        Ay, answer me, is not thy sloth

10        Sufficient argument? thy flattery?

Thy means of feeding?

MOSCA
:                              Heaven be good to me!

These imputations are too common, sir,

And eas'ly stuck on virtue when she's poor.

You are unequal to me, and howe'er

Your sentence may be righteous, yet you are not,

That ere you know me, thus proceed in censure.

St Mark bear witness 'gainst you, 'tis inhuman.

[
He weeps
.]

BONARIO
[
aside
]: What? does he weep? the sign is soft and good.

I do repent me that I was so harsh.

20  
MOSCA
: 'Tis true that, swayed by strong necessity,

I am enforced to eat my careful bread

With too much obsequy; 'tis true, beside,

That I am fain to
spin mine own poor raiment

Out of my mere observance, being not born

To a free fortune; but that I have done

Base offices, in rending friends asunder,

Dividing families, betraying counsels,

Whispering false lies, or
mining
men with praises,

Trained their credulity with perjuries,

30        Corrupted chastity, or am in love

With mine own tender ease, but would not rather

Prove the most ruggèd and laborious course,

That might redeem my present estimation,

Let me here
perish
, in all hope of goodness.

BONARIO
[
aside
]: This cannot be a
personated
passion! –

I was to blame, so to mistake thy nature;

Pray thee forgive me and speak out thy business.

MOSCA
: Sir, it concerns you, and though I may seem

At first to make a main offence in manners,

40        And in my gratitude unto my master,

Yet, for the pure love which I bear all right,

And hatred of the wrong, i must reveal it.

This very hour your father is in purpose

To disinherit you –

BONARIO
:                       How!

MOSCA
:                                             And thrust you forth

As a mere stranger to his blood; 'tis true, sir.

The work no way engageth me, but as

I claim an interest in the general state

Of goodness and true virtue, which I hear

T'abound in you, and for which mere respect,

50        Without a second aim, sir, I have done it.

BONARIO
: This tale hath lost thee much of the late trust

Thou hadst with me; it is impossible.

I know not how to lend it any thought

My father should be so unnatural.

MOSCA
: It is a confidence that well becomes

Your piety, and formed, no doubt, it is

From your own simple innocence, which makes

Your wrong more monstrous and abhorred. But, sir,

I now will tell you more. This very minute

60        It is, or will be, doing; and if you

Shall be but pleased to go with me, I'll bring you,

I dare not say where you shall see, but where

Your ear shall be a witness of the deed;

Hear yourself written bastard and professed

The common issue of the earth.

BONARIO
:                                             I'm'mazed!

MOSCA
: Sir, if I do it not, draw your just sword

And score your vengeance on my front and face;

Mark me your villain. You have too much wrong,

And I do suffer for you, sir. My heart

Weeps blood in anguish –

70   
BONARIO
:                             Lead, I follow thee.

[
Exeunt
.]

      [
VOLPONE'S
house
.]

      [
Enter
VOLPONE
.]

[
VOLPONE
:] Mosca stays long, methinks. Bring forth your sports

And help to make the wretched time more sweet.

[
Enter
NANO
,
CASTRONS
,
and
ANDROGYNO
.]

NANO
[
reciting
]: Dwarf, fool, and eunuch, well met here we be.

A question it were now, whether of us three,

Being, all, the known delicates of a rich man,

In pleasing him, claim the precedency can?

CASTRONE
: I claim for myself.

ANDROGYNO
: And so dou the Fool

NANO
: 'Tis foolish indeed, let me set you both to school.

First for your dwarf, he's little and witty,

10        And everything, as it is little, is pretty;

Else, why do men say to a creature of my shape,

So soon as they see him, ‘It's a pretty little ape'?

And, why a pretty ape? but for pleasing imitation

Of greater men's action, in a ridiculous fashion.

Beside, this feat body of mine doth not crave

Half the meat, drink, and cloth one of your bulks will have.

Admit your fool's face be the mother of laughter,

Yet, for his brain, it must always come after;

And though that do feed him, it's a pitiful case

20        His body is beholding to such a bad face.

One knocks
.

VOLPONE
: Who's there? My couch, away, look, Nano, see;

[
Exit
NANO
.]

Give me my caps first – go, inquire.

[
Exeunt
ANDROGYNO
and
CASTSONB
.
VOLPONE
gets into his bed
.]

Now Cupid

Send it be Mosca, and with fair return.

[
Re-enter
NANO
.]

NANO
: It is the beauteous Madam –

VOLPONE
:                                             Would-be - is it?

NANO
: The same.

VOLPONE
:                       Now, torment on me; squire her in,

For she will enter, or dwell here forever.

Nay, quickly, that my fit were past, I fear

[
Exit
NANO
.]