Authors: Jane Vernon
I make myself a cup of tea and sit listening to the Weevil’s album – which is really good – while I pluck up the courage to ring and book some driving lessons. I don’t know why I’m feeling like this. Well I do – it’s because I’ve convinced myself that driving a car is something I cannot do – I just didn’t get that gene that enables me to drive a car. Me and Adam sat and watched Top Gear last Sunday and Adam had remarked jokingly that he might buy every single car featured and I’d smiled, but felt like I was watching a programme about a world that I could never be part of or experience. I told Adam this and he just thought I was being stupid. I know he’s right. I pick up the phone, admire my nails and put it down again. Come on Gail you can do this! I take a deep breath and quickly ring the number for Sam’s School of Driving that I’ve found in the Thompson directory. She answers after a few rings and sounds really nice! She asks me lots of questions about what driving experience I’ve had and I explain that I’d taken my test a couple of times previously, didn’t get it, left things for a couple of years and that I was quite nervous about starting to learn again and Sam was really positive, saying that it’s just a matter of confidence and that she was sure that I would make a good driver! So I have booked my first lesson for tomorrow at ten o’clock. As I write it on the calendar in the kitchen I start to feel nervous about it. Oh God! I have a Jaffa cake to take my mind off it and then immediately feel guilty as I’m supposed to be trying to lose weight for Adam’s party. Oh well.
****
“Hey – your hair looks really nice!” Adam says when he arrives home.
“Thanks!” I say smiling. “I’ve made you some lunch” and put a plate with a sandwich and salad on in front of him.
“Oh great thanks – I’m starving!”
“How did things go today?” I ask.
“Fine thanks” Adam says, taking off his jacket. “Managed to get lots of boring but important financial stuff sorted out and my teeth are fine too which is even better. What have you been up to – apart from going to the hairdressers?” he asks as he goes into the kitchen.
“Well, I’ve had my nails done look!” I say and hold out my hands for inspection.
“Nice!” Adam says grinning.
“And I’ve done a bit of shopping, bought some new shoes...”
“Did you need any more shoes?” Adam asks smiling.
“No – but these are really nice” I say firmly and Adam laughs. “And - I’ve booked a driving lesson as well!”
“Oh that’s great!” Adam says enthusiastically. “When is it?”
“Tomorrow morning at ten o’clock” I say. “I’ve told Sam – that’s the name of my instructor - to pick me up from town as I’m going to go and buy the books I need for my theory test first”.
“Right” Adam says. “That’s really good Gail – I’m glad you’ve taken that all important first step”.
“I know, but I’m really nervous about it” I say as I pour us both some sparkling mineral water.
“There’s no need to be nervous Gailey honestly,” Adam says sitting down, “You’ll be fine. You’ll pass in no time don’t you worry!”
I smile. “If you say so” I say as I sit down. “I hope you’re right”. I know you’re not though. I’ll be the world’s oldest learner driver - 87 and still going strong. And I’ll still have my own teeth as well.
After lunch Adam goes in the gym while I get on the phone and get on with preparations for Adam’s birthday party. I spent all yesterday evening researching all these companies on the internet. After booking the marquee and a DJ, I book some jugglers, magicians, acrobats and fire eaters to walk round and entertain people. I then ring Sharon about the guest list as I can’t organise any catering until I know how many people are coming. I really don’t know what food to serve either. Hopefully she’ll have some ideas.
“Hello?”
“Hi Sharon it’s Gail”.
“Hello darling how are you? Didn’t we have a nice time yesterday at the Barbie?”
“Yes it was great” I reply, “I was just ringing to say – I’ve decided to throw a huge party for Adam’s birthday...”
“Oh great – I love parties!” Sharon replies sounding delighted.
“Oh that’s good!” I say, “Because I need some help. I’ve decided on a kind of circus theme and we are going to have it in the garden and I’ve booked a marquee and some jugglers, magicians and acrobats to walk round and entertain people...”
“Oh fantastic darling!” Sharon replies.
“Oh thank you” I say, “I just wondered if you could help me with the catering side and the guest list – I presume I invite all the team, Terry and their other halves?” I ask.
“Absolutely – it would look really bad if you didn’t” Sharon says firmly. “And that does include inviting Nicola as well”.
“Okay” I say with a sigh, “I’ve got a couple of people I want to invite from my old workplace too”.
“Right - I know people as well I could ask if you like – people from other clubs and some celebrities as well like Candy Stoutman the soap actress and Daniel Gregg the TV presenter? I think you may have met Candy at Gina’s wedding actually – she’s really nice” Sharon says.
“Yes - I think I did” I reply, “If you get me their address, I’ll send them an invite. It’s going to be black tie I think...”
“Marvellous” Sharon says, “Men do look nice in tuxes!”
“Well quite!” I say laughing “And we get to wear really nice evening dresses as well! Do you think Sharon, you could possibly help me with the food and sorting out a caterer? I’ve got so much to sort out, I haven’t a clue what to serve and the last thing I want to do is mess up a big night like this”.
“I’d love to!” Sharon says. “Why don’t you bring the guest list and all your plans round to mine tomorrow afternoon? I’ll have a look and see what I can do to help. Is it all right if I ask Gina as well? Gina knows loads of celebs and I know quite a few catering and event companies, so between us we should be able to help you get everything sorted and get a guest list of about a hundred?”
“That would be great!” I say relieved. I only know about seventy people and half of them I wouldn’t really want to invite to a party.
“I’ll get Tony to make us some lunch as well” Sharon says and I laugh.
“You don’t need to go that far Sharon!” I say, “But if you don’t mind helping – that would be great!”
“Of course I don’t mind!” Sharon says warmly, “I love organising things. Besides, it will do Tony good to go on lunch duty for a change. Sometimes I think he doesn’t even know where the kitchen is in this house!”
After I hang up, I immediately dial my old direct line number at
Delightful
to invite Alex. I’m really looking forward to speaking to her again. The phone rings a few times before a strange voice I don’t know answers.
“Good morning, this is
Delightful
. My name is Julie and how can I help?”
I’m completely thrown by this as I was expecting to hear Alex’s voice. “Er – hi! Is Alex there at all?” I ask, surprised.
“Yes – one moment – who’s calling please?” Julie says in a crisp, professional tone.
“It’s Gail” I say.
“And which company are you calling from Gail?” she asks.
Julie is starting to get on my nerves
.
Just put me through will you? “W.A.G Incorporated” I say and try not to laugh.
“One moment please” Julie says, the line clicks and beeps, and then Alex’s voice comes on the line.
“W.A.G Incorporated! What are you like Gail?” she says laughing. “How the hell are you?”
“Hi Alex!” I say. “I’m fine thanks and yourself?”
“I’m great thanks” she says. “It’s nice to hear from you!”
“Thanks. And how’s Dave and your Mum?”
“They’re both good thanks and how’s the lovely Adam?”
“He’s marvellous” I say, “He’s part of the reason I’m phoning actually. Are you free on Saturday the 14
th
of July? I’m throwing a massive birthday party for him and I would really like you and Dave to come”.
“That would be great!” Alex says happily. “Where is it?”
“Oh it’s here at home – well it will be in the garden” I reply, “I’ve gone for a circus theme – they’ll be jugglers, acrobats, magicians, fire eaters, a marquee and a DJ, lots of food and drink..”
“Wow! That sounds great! I take it it will be a smartly dressed affair” Alex asks.
“It’s black tie” I reply. “I’ll send you an invite in the post anyway. So you’ll be able to come then?”
“Oh yes definitely!” Alex replies, “What – getting to wear a posh frock, drink lots of champagne and hobnob with celebrities? I’m looking forward to it already!”
I laugh. “Well I haven’t finalised the guest list yet, but there may well be a few famous people there” I say, “I’m leaving that to Gina and Sharon. Anyway - who’s that girl who answered the phone just now?”
“Julie? She’s your replacement” Alex says. “She’s just gone on lunch actually. She’s really nice and is a really fast learner. She’s only been here three weeks and she’s already got the hang of things”.
“Oh right” I say, suddenly feeling a bit wistful for my old job and my old life. I sit with Alex, not Saint bloody Julie. “It didn’t take them long to replace me did it?” I say.
“Well I can’t do it all on my own
Gail!” Alex says. “I don’t know what you are on about anyway – you hated this job!”
“We had some fun though didn’t we?” I say.
“Yeah we did” Alex says, “And I do miss you. Julie’s alright, but she’s not interested in celebrities like we are. Well – I bet you know most of them now anyway!”
“No I don’t Alex honest” I say laughing.
“I have to buy my own copy of
Slur!
now you know, now I can’t read yours anymore! Alex continues. “We’ll have to meet up soon if you aren’t too busy organising parties!”
“Oh definitely” I reply.
“Does Adam know anything about this party then?” Alex asks.
“Well, he knows I’m organising one for his birthday, but he doesn’t know any of the details”.
“Oh - I’d better go actually” Alex says, “The supervisor is prowling around and I’ve already got two calls waiting!”
“Okay I’ll give you a ring soon” I say and we hang up. Damm - I forgot to tell her about learning to drive. I might just tell her when I’ve passed. When I’m in my mid forties then I think to myself and laughed. It’s weird though - the thought of someone else doing my old job, sat across from Alex and answering the phones.
“You alright?” Adam asks, walking into the kitchen from the gym.
“Yes – I’m fine. I just spoke to Alex to invite her and Dave to your party”.
“Oh right - how is she?” Adam asks, pouring himself a glass of water.
“She’s fine. They’ve got a replacement for me you know at
Delightful
” I say.
“Have they?”
“Yes, her name is Julie. I spoke to her before Alex. She was very professional and asked me what company I was from and everything. And do you know what I said?” I say giggling to Adam.
“What?”
“W.A.G. Incorporated” and Adam snorts with laughter. “Seriously though Adam” I continue, “It was weird listening to someone else saying what I used to say and thinking that someone else is sat at my old desk, doing my old job”.
“Well - you didn’t want to go back did you?” Adam says, his eyes twinkling.
“Hell no!” I reply.
“Well then!” Adam says, shrugging his shoulders, “Just be grateful it’s not you having to answer the phone all the time! I’m just going to have a shower” he says “And then we’ll go out for dinner if you like tonight. Show your haircut off” he adds smiling. I smile back and Adam goes upstairs, while I put all the party paperwork back in a folder. No - I wouldn’t change this for the world I think as I look round at the fabulous kitchen I’m sitting in and the garden outside. It’s almost too perfect.
I feel really nervous when I’m walking through town the next morning. The sun’s out and it looks like it’s going to be a lovely day. I should be sat out in the garden with a good book right now, not waiting to make a complete prat of myself on a driving lesson. I look down at my feet, encased in little black ballet pumps - I must be taking this learning to drive lark seriously though as I am actually wearing flat shoes for once! Adam couldn’t believe it this morning when I came down the stairs. He actually asked me if I was feeling all right - the cheeky sod.
I’ve put my favourite jeans on as well as they are super comfy and a nice black short sleeved shirt. I want to be as comfortable as possible on my first driving lesson for nigh on six years. It’s getting warm now though – I hope Sam’s car has got a sunroof or air conditioning or something otherwise I think I will just
die
in this heat.
I’ve come into town a little bit earlier so I can get the theory test book I need and on my way to the bookshop, I have a look in a very posh jeweller’s window. I’m toying with the idea of getting Adam a watch for his birthday. There’s a beautiful one in the window whic
h I’m sure he would love. I’ll get it and take it out of the proceeds of my house sale later. A nice couple have offered the full asking price which is
brilliant
and the sale is starting to go through. I didn’t show them round though, I asked the estate agent to – I didn’t want to get all emotional, especially if they started criticising things because I
like
that house. Apparently though the estate agent said they really liked it, so I needn’t have worried. While I’m in there, I also spot some diamond cufflinks in the shape of his initials, so I get him those as well and feeling slightly breathless at the amount of money I have spent, head for the bookshop.